Post: #1

So, I met a girl a year or two ago in a different city, now she is visiting the new place I live and is staying with me and sleeping on my couch. For me she is as attractive as it gets.

We've talked a lot on facebook, she compliments me (you're passionate, so tall, etc... and compliments my french...), told me she loved meeting my friends, wants to come back to visit again, etc...

She broke up with her boyfriend a month ago.

I am having trouble sexualizing the relationship. sometimes she touches my leg, she rode around on my shoulders, etc... but I can't quite read if she is *attracted* to me or not.

For instance, we were sitting on my windowsill with our legs dangling out into the night last night, she lets me touch her hair or whatever (she said bats like hair, and I touched her hair to assess whether a bat might like it), but never really helps it along. I don't care about getting rejected but it's weird if she doesn't pinch me or ramp up the flirting a bit during these moments.

Here's my question... do I always have to wait for a perfect moment to kiss her, or can I explain what I'm thinking.. like... "I met a lot of people this past year, but I particularly like being around you, and every time you smile I want to kiss you."

Then she smiles... then I kiss her ?

Any advice much appreciated.

Post: #2

You've probably already cockblocked yourself. After assessing her hair for bat likeability, you should have done the same with her ass, then her tits.

(08-22-2018 06:51 AM)Timbuk2 Wrote:  it's weird if she doesn't pinch me or ramp up the flirting a bit during these moments.

Post: #3

Dude, you're right. I have to try to salvage it anyway, but yes, this is off to a frustrating start.

(08-22-2018 07:00 AM)DaveR Wrote:  You've probably already cockblocked yourself. After assessing her hair for bat likeability, you should have done the same with her ass, then her tits.

(08-22-2018 06:51 AM)Timbuk2 Wrote:  it's weird if she doesn't pinch me or ramp up the flirting a bit during these moments.

Post: #4

(08-22-2018 07:07 AM)Timbuk2 Wrote:  I have to try to salvage it

Apply alcohol.

Post: #5

I hate to say it but I found that when I was single if I had to spend more than a certain amount of time analyzing the situation with a girl, I'd already let my window of opportunity slip by. Almost certainly enough analysis to write this post means you've let it slip by.

Good news is there are millions of other girls out there and although least you've discovered game. Wish I had when I was single.

Post: #6

I'd sexualize the relationship asap.
Tell her that at your place you have to sleep topless or tell her that you get a back rub every night she stays there.
Something, anything to get it into her head that you expect sex to be happening because if you have to spend 4 days with a girl in your place, without the chance to fuck her you will regret it for a long time.
If she rejects you then move on to the next girl.

She's not your friend so don't pretend you'd be ok with a just being friends.
If you are sexually attracted to a woman there is no point in talking to her or being around her unless you are making forward progress to meeting up with her alone to initiate sex.

Post: #7

Don't wait for her to move it along, some will, but whether they do or not, you'll still regret the missed opportunity to have been more assertive.

If you make a move and she decides to pass, you'll regret nothing, but if you don't even make the attempt...you'll be kicking yourself later.

Post: #8

Remember: she's definitely aware of the possibility that something might happen, especially if you're both single and within the same attractiveness range.

Pick the timing and go for the kiss (follow RVF guide. don't caveman). The window moment sounded good. And don't use that smile line. Keep it simple, relaxed and fun.

Go for it. At least you won't wonder anymore. If she declines, no harm. Play it cool and keep making rad bat jokes!

Post: #9

^DO NOT use that "smile" line. Its cringey AF.


What are you waiting for? You should have busted a move the first night she stayed with you. It might be too late but you'll never know unless you try and you'll be kicking yourself over the lost opportunity.

She's showing all the signs of being a receptive female. You just need to show her the signs of being a man ...in other words have the balls to make a move and kiss her.

No lines needed.. just look her in the eyes, gently grab her head with both hands, and plant one on her

Make sure youre at home when you kiss her so you can roll seamlessly into a bang

Post: #10

(08-22-2018 06:51 AM)Timbuk2 Wrote:  Here's my question... do I always have to wait for a perfect moment to kiss her,

First, know there is no 'perfect moment'. We have Disney and these stupid Rom Com movies to thank for those false scenarios.

YOU create the 'perfect moment'. You're the man and she's waiting for you to take the lead and kiss her. Once you tap into that, you'll realize it's instinctual and been inside of you the whole time (unless you've consumed a mass quantity of soy and have killed it).

You may have missed your opportunity with this one, but learn from this and apply it to your next opportunity.

Post: #11

(08-23-2018 12:20 PM)[email protected] Wrote:  

(08-22-2018 06:51 AM)Timbuk2 Wrote:  Here's my question... do I always have to wait for a perfect moment to kiss her,

First, know there is no 'perfect moment'. We have Disney and these stupid Rom Com movies to thank for those false scenarios.

YOU create the 'perfect moment'. You're the man and she's waiting for you to take the lead and kiss her. Once you tap into that, you'll realize it's instinctual and been inside of you the whole time (unless you've consumed a mass quantity of soy and have killed it).

You may have missed your opportunity with this one, but learn from this and apply it to your next opportunity.

Here's something I used to do when I was single to make the first kiss smooth: I'd basically mirror my move on the move that Deckard makes on Rachel in Bladerunner. Lean in slowly and gently nuzzle her cheek for just a second or so. If she reacts positively, go for the lips. If she pulls back, you can sometimes recover and try again in a moment if you handle it right (show no butthurt, give a ZFG smirk).

Watch the scene if you haven't seen it or don't remember it well. It worked great for me most of the time.

Post: #12

Just as an idea, it may help to mix it up a little bit. Perhaps the context of being in your apartment has got your mind running in circles, and maybe she is just not easily turned in that setting for whatever reason (maybe it's just messy and not conducive)

How about inviting her out for a drink at a bar? some kind of chill, low pressure kind of environment, maybe even go out and party together. Getting out of your elements could provide you with the opportunity to get out of your head and make the move.

Post: #13

RVF, I'm not so hopeful anymore. It's been 2/4 days already and nothing heard from Timmy.

Should we take time of death ? Will our protagonist come back with an awe-inspiring bang report?

Tune in for the next episode of "kiss kiss, maybe bang bang"

Post: #14

(08-24-2018 03:06 AM)MPD Wrote:  RVF, I'm not so hopeful anymore. It's been 2/4 days already and nothing heard from Timmy.

Should we take time of death ? Will our protagonist come back with an awe-inspiring bang report?

Tune in for the next episode of "kiss kiss, maybe bang bang"

You're right. I had a beer with her in a sunny park the next evening, we talked about women's bodies, and i playfully touched and measured each part of her while i told her what I find attractive, shoulders, skinny upper arms, a defined back... it matched up to her but i wasn't complimenting *her*... she didn't stop me and would discuss each part with me but when the two of us laid down (after sitting), she faced the other direction.

She told about serious drama this year, health, relationships, physical fights, that she wanted to take a break from guys and didn't like it when her boyfriends had had boners all the time, and that it felt like so many guys on the street wanted to "fuck" her.

I dunno it didn't feel right to pursue it, though I find her very attractive all this drama threw me off. I kissed 3 girls and slept with one over the past two months (maybe 2nd this weekend), and each time it was so much easier and more obvious that they were into it. But this girl was by far the hottest.

Post: #15

One nugget of advice I've appreciated from one of the members here:

"A woman will usually always forgive you for coming on too strong too quickly. But she'll be quick to friendzone you for being too passive."

It's not word for word, but you get the idea.

Post: #16

(08-24-2018 03:36 PM)AmericanPharoah Wrote:  One nugget of advice I've appreciated from one of the members here:

"A woman will usually always forgive you for coming on too strong too quickly. But she'll be quick to friendzone you for being too passive."

It's not word for word, but you get the idea.

That's always been my experience so far. I've come out of the friendzone in certain cases, but seems to lead to relationships rather than hookups.

Post: #17

(08-22-2018 06:51 AM)Timbuk2 Wrote:  So, I met a girl a year or two ago in a different city, now she is visiting the new place I live and is staying with me and sleeping on my couch. For me she is as attractive as it gets.

We've talked a lot on facebook, she compliments me (you're passionate, so tall, etc... and compliments my french...), told me she loved meeting my friends, wants to come back to visit again, etc...

She broke up with her boyfriend a month ago.

I am having trouble sexualizing the relationship. sometimes she touches my leg, she rode around on my shoulders, etc... but I can't quite read if she is *attracted* to me or not.

For instance, we were sitting on my windowsill with our legs dangling out into the night last night, she lets me touch her hair or whatever (she said bats like hair, and I touched her hair to assess whether a bat might like it), but never really helps it along. I don't care about getting rejected but it's weird if she doesn't pinch me or ramp up the flirting a bit during these moments.

Here's my question... do I always have to wait for a perfect moment to kiss her, or can I explain what I'm thinking.. like... "I met a lot of people this past year, but I particularly like being around you, and every time you smile I want to kiss you."

Then she smiles... then I kiss her ?

Any advice much appreciated.

Post: #18

(08-24-2018 02:38 PM)Timbuk2 Wrote:  

(08-24-2018 03:06 AM)MPD Wrote:  RVF, I'm not so hopeful anymore. It's been 2/4 days already and nothing heard from Timmy.

Should we take time of death ? Will our protagonist come back with an awe-inspiring bang report?

Tune in for the next episode of "kiss kiss, maybe bang bang"

You're right. I had a beer with her in a sunny park the next evening, we talked about women's bodies, and i playfully touched and measured each part of her while i told her what I find attractive, shoulders, skinny upper arms, a defined back... it matched up to her but i wasn't complimenting *her*... she didn't stop me and would discuss each part with me but when the two of us laid down (after sitting), she faced the other direction.

She told about serious drama this year, health, relationships, physical fights, that she wanted to take a break from guys and didn't like it when her boyfriends had had boners all the time, and that it felt like so many guys on the street wanted to "fuck" her.

I dunno it didn't feel right to pursue it, though I find her very attractive all this drama threw me off. I kissed 3 girls and slept with one over the past two months (maybe 2nd this weekend), and each time it was so much easier and more obvious that they were into it. But this girl was by far the hottest.

You were waiting for her to give you some kind of sign that it’s ok to make your move and she was throwing all the signs that she’s waiting for a man that acts with confidence.

She’s telling you with her actions ( up until she turned her back on you) she knows you want to fuck her but she’s not going to “say” it’s ok because that would make her sluttiness her responsibility.

You’re doing a good job of sexualizing the conversation ( perhaps too good as in too direct) but you’re taking way too long to light the fuse on the bang

Post: #19

Hey, since I laughed at your cheesy, beta declarations of love. I just came across a message on facebook from 9 years ago that I sent that was extremely beta. So I'll show you so you can laugh at me too.

Me: Hey how are you? I had a great time tuesday, I regretted having to leave so early the whole drive home. I haven't got the internet where I'm living at the moment so I can only go online at the library, if you're wondering what took me so long, speak to ya soon x

Her: hey! i'm good miss you guys though!! hows life down in -----? you need to tell me if you're coming up here again, you're band was really cool, and i might even buy a t shirt next time... hehe xx

Me: hehe thanks, and I miss you too. Life is good here starting my second year of my music degree which is going well so far. what have you been up to? I still need to get the internet where I'm living,my number is xxxx xxxx xxxx. Text me when you get this and I'll definitely let you know when we're next there.

Ugh. What a gay. Now you can see I used to be a hopeless beta romantic faggot that disgusted women too. Look at me telling her I miss her and giving her my number and all those smiley faces. Yuk. I wasn't always this cool keyboard warrior you are talking to today.

The worst part was that I was in an awesome heavy metal band that came to play at her university bar from the other side of the country, which to this girl was impressive. If I didn't have to drive my guitarist home, and I knew game back then, this would have been an extremely easy lay.

Post: #20

Few months back, a girl over my house and in few minutes she was on my bed and me messaging her back. That can be a good tip: start giving her a message but don’t do a friendly message but rather sexual one to make your intention. You can start off with shoulders or bAck and then eventually messaging her breasts. It would be a lot easier if you tell her to take off her shirt for the message to be better done ?. Escalate from there and you are good to go.

Post: #21

This kills me. The man has this girl ripe for the take and goes online to decide what to do.

"when the two of us laid down (after sitting), she faced the other direction."

Did she had her ass facing you?!? That was your cue...

You blew it before when you had her in your window touching her hair. Didn't had to go to mouth kiss, kiss/caress the neck and escalate.

"She told about serious drama this year, health, relationships, physical fights, that she wanted to take a break from guys and didn't like it when her boyfriends had had boners all the time, and that it felt like so many guys on the street wanted to "fuck" her"

Ha. I'm sure she didn't. What girl likes boners all the time?! What she really meant: 'I (feel I could) have sex with so many guys on the street'. And there she was. Whith you... And 'take a break from guys' she's scoping for LTR. Maybe you too and that's why you're so hesitant.

But those are some serious red flags. Specially the part about 'health' issues. I'm very suspicious of these kinds of stories. For me, girls who had any sort of 'health' issue have always been very problematic. It's my nr.1 red flag. And from the rest of the topics, she's a slut! No, just kidding... But she's begging you for the D.

Do it and report the bang. Should be very simple, next time you have her hair in your hand you should be pulling it.

This is your best oportunity window or else 9 years later you will still remember the easy lay you let pass. I know I do. And read a story of someonelse who does.

Just "make sure you're at home when you kiss her so you can roll seamlessly into a bang" - this - logistics are indeed fundamental.

Post: #22

(08-25-2018 06:10 AM)John Silva Wrote:  This kills me. The man has this girl ripe for the take and goes online to decide what to do.

<snipped>

Do it and report the bang. Should be very simple, next time you have her hair in your hand you should be pulling it.

This is your best oportunity window or else 9 years later you will still remember the easy lay you let pass. I know I do. And read a story of someonelse who does.

Just "make sure you're at home when you kiss her so you can roll seamlessly into a bang" - this - logistics are indeed fundamental.

I think OP may have let his window of opportunity slip by already, but can't hurt to try. I've found that when a girl is sending you signals it's clear to her in her mind and she usually thinks you're a coward for not making a move and is disgusted by it.

Seconded about missed opportunities. Back when I was single and an idiot (well even more of an idiot) I let several opportunities like these go by, not understanding that the girl was getting as close to making a move as girls are likely to get. There was this beautiful little yoga instructor once who was just my type physically and actually a decent person, possibly one of those rare American girls who is actually LTR material. She spent over a year practically begging me to steal her from her beta schlub boyfriend but I passed out of "respect for her relationship" and she finally married him. Still think about that one sometimes and wonder what might have been, as I do several others.

Post: #23

Just fuck her already and put us out of our misery.

Post: #24

(08-25-2018 11:26 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  Just fuck her already and put us out of our misery.

The girl is back in her city now. I got nothing for ya.

Post: #25

Don't beat yourself too much over it OP, it has happened to all of us I'm sure, but it was a very easy lay.

Not long ago this girl was giving me all the signs, but whenever we got alone and the ambiance was right, she would became distant and stop signaling her availability.

Our first kiss was on the subway. Surrounded by people. Bums asking for money and little kids going around us making incredible noise. More stressfull than romantic I can assure you, but she stills remembers it and talks about it.

When I ask her why would she be so cold when we were alone, she replyed: "because I wanna see if you would make a move" - what?! so for me to 'make a move' she would gimme a cold shoulder and not a warm welcome?! (....)

That's women for you...

Some guys here would give you very insightfull views on this kind of 'logic', but I've quitted long ago.

Still, if she's in your house, she's yours for the taking. That's my 'logic'!

Keep us posted. You can still score. It would be harder and prob. much more stressfull but it's feasable.