Feedback regarding apartment location

Hi guys, I need some input regarding apartment location. So I just moved to a new city for a new job, currently staying in a hotel. This city is kind of dead in terms of nightlife, but there are cities within ~25 - 45 miles where the nightlife is good.

Since this is a new job and also a new career for me, I don't want to stay too far away, as there is a learning curve with the work I'm doing. At the same time, because of proximity to these other cities, this move would allow me access to some great night spots.

I am thinking of staying midway between my work location and one of the cities that is 25 miles away. But the midway point is also a dead place.

So my question is, should I just stay near my work and do the best by gaming in the nearest city, or should I stay midway, or just live in the nearest city that is 25 miles away. Fortunately, traffic won't be bad to and from work.

About me - I have a decent career, am active and fit, have upgraded my style after starting to read this forum, and am more outgoing than when I started on this journey.

My main goal is to improve my night game, specifically, SNLs. My SNL game sucks, and I feel that staying close to a target-rich location would help me get good at this aspect.

If I live 25 miles away from the target venue, is it going to be hard to pull from the bar/club? What would be an optimal distance in your opinion? I know that walking distance to the bars in this city would be the best, but this would put me 25 miles away from work, and I will go out just once or twice on weekdays.

What are some of the other steps that I could take to help me progress in getting same night lays? Thanks for your help, guys.

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Tough choice. Does the city where your job is have any nightlife whatsoever or is it completely dead?

If it is truly a dead zone, its a tricky call. It is pretty difficult to pull when you're living 30 miles away, but it is possible, and the alternative is a 50 mile/day commute which is pretty rough even without traffic. There's also other alternatives for SNLs especially if you're younger (banging in your car, banging at her spot,..)

I would not live half way. Pulling 15 miles away and pulling 30 miles away is basically the same thing in the context of a nightgame SNL. You always just say "its 15 mins away" and if she's getting in the car with you, she's not going to hold you to that exact time haha. And you would still have to drive to work also. It gives you the negatives of both without any of the positives of having great logistics at either.

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RDF, thanks so much for weighing in on this.

(04-28-2019 11:28 PM)RDF Wrote:  Tough choice. Does the city where your job is have any nightlife whatsoever or is it completely dead?

It is completely dead. Excellent school districts and great place to raise a family, but no nightlife whatsoever.

(04-28-2019 11:28 PM)RDF Wrote:  If it is truly a dead zone, its a tricky call. It is pretty difficult to pull when you're living 30 miles away, but it is possible, and the alternative is a 50 mile/day commute which is pretty rough even without traffic. There's also other alternatives for SNLs especially if you're younger (banging in your car, banging at her spot,..)

I feel like banging at her place is the next step up in game, after being able to pull to my place from the bar/club. For me, I feel that this might be more uphill, but I never tried this approach before so can't really comment.

(04-28-2019 11:28 PM)RDF Wrote:  I would not live half way. Pulling 15 miles away and pulling 30 miles away is basically the same thing in the context of a nightgame SNL. You always just say "its 15 mins away" and if she's getting in the car with you, she's not going to hold you to that exact time haha. And you would still have to drive to work also. It gives you the negatives of both without any of the positives of having great logistics at either.

Excellent point. So staying halfway does not really help me much. Ok so always say 15 mins away, no matter what.

Between halfway point and my work, there is a 10 mile stretch which looks like I'm taking her/going to the forest or something. I'm afraid as soon as I get to this part of the drive, she may start thinking this was not such a good idea. But anyways, that halfway point is as dead in terms of nightlife.

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Do not choose the place according to the nightlife, as the nightlife is slowly dying!

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As someone with absolutely horrific logistics who also commutes 30 miles in the worst traffic in the world 5 days a week I’ld say get the best spot you can near the best nightlife you can and a subscription to audible for the drive.

Logistics is king - especially if you’re working on your game. Having that on lock will provide you with the opportunity to lock down the fundamentals. Get a 6 month lease or rent month to month - when your skills are set in stone then you can move to a location closer to your work.

As far as night game being on the way out, that’s even more reason to really rock it in my mind. You have the opportunity now to do this, live that experience before it’s gone from the world.

You need to be honest with yourself though - will you put in the work on the streets? If you don’t feel like you’ll be able to throw yourself out there 4+ nights a week then there’s no point to a place right next to the party. Can you handle the ~2 hour round trip? Or will the constant commuting eat away at your resolve, leaving you listless. Imagine what your quality of life will be like either way and make an informed (as informed as it can be) decision from there.

Good luck Brother, keep us in the know!

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Live close to your work, and lock down an air bnb on the weekends/whenever you go out or have dates.

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(04-29-2019 06:37 AM)Hombre de hielo Wrote:  Do not choose the place according to the nightlife, as the nightlife is slowly dying!

Not where I live though...because it is already dead here. But damn, there are some fine cougars here.

(04-29-2019 11:27 AM)ThriceLazarus Wrote:  As someone with absolutely horrific logistics who also commutes 30 miles in the worst traffic in the world 5 days a week I’ld say get the best spot you can near the best nightlife you can and a subscription to audible for the drive.

Logistics is king - especially if you’re working on your game. Having that on lock will provide you with the opportunity to lock down the fundamentals. Get a 6 month lease or rent month to month - when your skills are set in stone then you can move to a location closer to your work.

As far as night game being on the way out, that’s even more reason to really rock it in my mind. You have the opportunity now to do this, live that experience before it’s gone from the world.

You need to be honest with yourself though - will you put in the work on the streets? If you don’t feel like you’ll be able to throw yourself out there 4+ nights a week then there’s no point to a place right next to the party. Can you handle the ~2 hour round trip? Or will the constant commuting eat away at your resolve, leaving you listless. Imagine what your quality of life will be like either way and make an informed (as informed as it can be) decision from there.

Good luck Brother, keep us in the know!

I'm doing 2 nights now, will be 3 nights when I get a bit more settled in in this new workplace (~ 3 more months later).

I hear you regarding having logistics on lock as it will encourage me to go out more, which will lead to a learning more in a short time span.

(04-29-2019 11:57 AM)Conquistador Wrote:  Live close to your work, and lock down an air bnb on the weekends/whenever you go out or have dates.

The air b&b idea is a great one.

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Traffic is what makes commuting hell. 30 minutes isnt bad really, assuming you have a reliable vehicle and its not some kind of mountain pass where you will be "cut off" on weather days. Also, if you work 12+ hours a day then living closer to work becomes more appealing.

There are many benefits to living close to where the party is. If you can walk from a popular venue than you can leave your car at home and its much easier to set up dates without worrying if she will flake. The best logistics puts you within minutes (walking) of a cafe or park where you can set up dates. You can let her text you that shes there and you can grab a jacket and go meet her. The ease of waiting for your dates while in the comfort of your home is priceless. Not to mention the obvious having her meet at your place before a date or the ease of pulling after a night out.

Also, its possible that living very close to work will prevent you from mentally separating work time from free time.

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Live near work, commuting through traffic is a waste of energy and time.

Do online dating to get bangs.

You can still spend weekends/holidays in a motel in night life zones if that's your thing.

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I fall into the camp that when you're young, you should go for the prime location. Logistics, logistics, logistics. I couldn't care less about a 30 minute one way commute... I think the average commute for the average american is around 20 to 25 minutes anyway. So it's not like you're going to suffer anyway. I think longer commutes are also good in the sense that when you leave work, you've really left it. Best to put a lot of physical distance between yourself and your work place. The smoothest workplace operators I met always lived a ways away from their work. All business when there, when they leave, they're gone... I digress...

Put yourself in the middle of the action and don't worry about commute to work. Location is everything especially if you're trying to pregame or pull girls. It is a complete buzzkill to have to take 30 minutes to get to the popping area via uber, or worse drive yourself while buzzed...

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I’m in a similar situation as you. I’m choosing to live close to the nightlife.

I currently live 45 minutes away from good nightlife. The best you can hope for is to go to her place, or to get a hotel that night.

If you have a strong connection, you can go for the number and meetup the next day, but you need good game to build that connection in the first place.

Getting a hotel every weekend when you may or may not get pussy that night? That’s db, any money that you would have been saving by living closer to work, you will lose renting a room. Drop $300 on the most popular nights at a decent hotel month after month? Easily losing $1000 per month...even IF you are pulling every weekend (you won’t), you’re better off just paying for the better located spot.

Let’s say you still choose to live far away. Anytime you want to do anything with girls, you must text them hours in advance, and plan out everything. You will lose a flow, a spontaneity in life.

Taking her back to her place? That’s relying on the girl to have her own place or to expect her roommates to be cool about hearing her getting plowed. Or she can just brush you off. Which do you think is more likely?

As the man, you have to lead...so you’re going to lead her back to her place? It can work (I’ve done it), but it’s an uphill battle.

Get your own place close to nightlife, rack up some notches, and learn game. Don’t live far away unless you aggressively need to save cash for an emergency fund, medical expenses, paying off credit card debt, or some other venture.

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