Story Time
Not a hook up but a story worth telling imo
It was mid January and Im attending a coworkers wedding in north carolina. The bride and groom are both virgins with the brides side being loaded and my coworker being from a well off family--also both white.
On the flight in Im informed that Ive met all the groomsmen before (fact) and that I can hang out with them. It doesnt take long after listening them talk about girls that none of them will be seeing any action from the sexy bridesmaids due to a complete lack of game. One of them had the "asshole-center-of-attention" thing down but was definitely a "knees weak arms are heavy-moms speghetti" type dude.
Classification: Potential cock block--not a threat (we'll call him PCBNAT, he makes appearances latter in the story)
My boss also takes this time to let me know that the wedding is on a plantation....
I immidiately know that Im the lone black guy. I just know it. theres no way Im going to a white wedding on a plantation and there will be more than one black guy... I accept my fate. Theres only one solution...Double down on fun street..
So we arrive and me and my boys go and buy a shit ton of alcohol. We get to the wedding and we start ripping shots before the 5pm ceremony. Its safe to say Im in my night game element. I take 3 sticks of gum, start chewing, and start working the crowd. Within the hour Ive hugged all the old-ass-white family ladies on the brides side; they seemed pleasant although in my mind they were too old not to have some racist undertone.
The ceremony begins and of course my boss and I sit our drunk asses on the brides side--woops. This is also a good time to point out that the seating at weddings is ass backwards. Yea as a playa-playa-playa I should want to be on the grooms side where I can scope the bridesmaids faces...But as a loyal supporter of my coworker and childhood friend Id much rather be able to look at my friends face as he signs his life away under god and take pictures lol.
---end scene---
Were at the reception and my boss and I are seated at the back corner with 2 of my coworkers former teammates, one of his cousins-girl with a kid, one of his cousins who is 12-girl, and a 12 year old boy I mentor who is a family friend of his.
I take this time to work the room and talk to the girls my age. Most of them are out of shape or fat but theres a few cuties. This is important for me to start chatting them up...you know because "game" lol
I sit back at my table and start chopping it up with the 12 year old girl (not what you think) about random shit that 12 year olds do. IM mostly making fun of her and being right (mentoring teenage girls has seriously takin my banter with girls to the next level no joke) about shit 12 year old girls do. Then start chopping it up with the older cousin. I get the vibe she's not interested but open to conversation so I humor her.
In-between conversations Im talking and making friends with the lady serving free wine (yea it was that kind of open bar) and we're fist bumping, high fiving, and having a great time talking everytime I go back for my wine. Eventually PCBNAT ends up at our table and starts his MO. He pulls out the football game and takes a seat next to the older cousin. She's into watching the game with him but....
He's building too much comfort and not enough attraction. He slides into the friend zone like that dumb bitch in return of the jedi
People are beginning to crowd around so I just start wandering and exploring. More wine, pointless conversations, bathroom,
checking out massa's main house.....

I come back and the game is over so the crowd is gone. Take this time to introduce the 12 year old kid i mentor to the 12 year old girl cousin. they start talking and shit--
his fucking parents are fucking proud as fuck lol!! The mom gives me a thumbs up and the dad just smiles. Im texting this lil motherfucker putting him on game and shit lol.
Some time passes and people start lingering to the dance floor doing some weird country line dance version of the electric slide. One of the ex-teammates is trying to flirt with a girl (call her Red) but he's having no luck. Im aware its going on but thats all at this point.
Over time Red starts playing the proximity rule and I'm constantly finding myself answering her questions. One of my favorites is if I can country line dance--I get the opportunity to inform these silly lil snow bunnies that my elementary school had a "ho-down" every year--I got the juice. I walk away/give her space to give homeboy a chance to close the deal... Eventually the music shifts to more my taste
..kidding. they weren't that live lol
But its definitely blacker. People are bumping and grinding Im honestly surprised all these old ass white folk let this happen. I don't know what I should have been expecting alternatively lol. Red ups the ante on the proximity rule and starts trying to dance on me. At this point ex-teammate has given up and is over there sulking...Game on
I dont recall the exact maneuvers: were dancing and Red is clearly hot for me so I whisper in her ear to go the bathroom and instead walk outside and around the back of the building the reception is in. She complies...
I send my last text to the kid I mentor "tell her lets dance, take her hand and lead her to the dance floor." It works for him.
![[Image: 200.gif#5]](https://media4.giphy.com/media/3o6Ztan4PAMaieiOQg/200.gif#5)
Fist Pumps for everybody
I find her out back and we start getting hot and heavy. And I tell her to follow me and we sneak our way over to massa's house. My ancestors are in the sky cheering me on like mufasa here to deliver the child of prophecy as old slave hmms echo across the night sky"
I take her upstairs and take off her panties and start finger blasting her right there in massa's bed. She comes twice.
I don't know how THIS comes up but some how, some way her age inters the equation. Goddamn it I don't know how but it does. I realize that she's in HS and Im immediately skeptical over if this chick is legal....
Its not worth it...I can see the headline already.
"Black guy fucks underage white girl on plantation"
Ima just take the L and bounce on this one. I walk her outside and people are leaving. I tell her to head over to the reception first and I'll come later (no pun intended). We meet up and exchange numbers, flirt for a bit then she leaves.
---End scene---
My boss and I leave and head back with the groomsmen to their hotel and start drinking again getting ready to go out. They're all being pussies and bailing on my plans when two of the bridesmaids come over (shit like this makes me question if the bride is actually a virgin).
One is here to see the best man (married to him) and the other is this tall blonde who is the sexiest girl there. Im talking like "blonde-white-girl-but-her-father-is-the-grand-wizard-of-the-klan" type of sexy (call her Grand Wizard)
Its funny because the guys are talking about the girls at the wedding but here they are with nothing to show for it...except me.
Another childhood friend of mine (No Game#7) agrees to go out with me as well as another groomsman. Me and No Game #7 start talking about Grand Wizard and he says that they had a nice convo and danced a little but she kept leaving every so often and he'd have to find her. He is also convinced that she is a "nice girl" and "not like that"...
We hop in an uber and continue this conversation where I tell him his game is all wrong and she's exactly like that. He can't be convinced. We hit the bars and drink for a bit before returning. I make it my personal mission to prove him wrong.
We get back to the hotel and Grand Wizard and the other girl are braiding one of the groomsman's hair...I remember when they did that in kindergarten too....
I start pulling people in to play a drinking game but leave Grand Wizard and the beauty shop without an invite. Im definitely the center of attention and PCBNAT doesnt like this. Ive got the jams, the personality, and that warmth-that black hole energy that sucks people in. Its all over his face so he does the next best thing that he can do....PCBNAT cock blocks No Game #7
Mean while Grand Wizard has made her way over to me and we're all playing the game and Im
PLAYING THE GAME. She feeling me; Im throwing hard core banter at her. Strait body shots; two pieces with biscuits extra gravy. She's eating it up touching me, playfully hitting me on the arm, its clear her attention is on me. I think I've made my point to No Game #7.
Blah-blah happens and I decide its time for me to leave. I grab my boss who's passed out in one of the beds and we bounce. The look Grand Wizard gave me as I turned from her was priceless....
No hugs. No kisses. Just peace.
fade to black
--Fin
1) I plugged Red into Facebook and turns out she's 18
2) My coworker came back from his honeymoon and asked if I had fun dancing with brides cousin...yea Red was her cousin lol
3) At the air port I run into the kid Im mentoring and his family. With a big smile on her face she says "Mentoring them in {x,y,z} and in life!!"