Post: #3976

The Godfather has told you not to post crap, he even went to the trouble of dropping a meme.

Attraction isn't always physical.

Girls don't know what they like, they say one thing but end up dating the opposite.

Post: #3977

*blocked*

But seriously, it's game denialism. You'll never get good with women if you only fuck chicks that dig you. It just doesn't happen. .

You're just going for girls that give you the immediate green light.

Chicks are malleable, because people are malleable.

And this 5 seconds rule only helps women.

If that is truly your strategy
1) you won't benefit at all from what on saying
2) get in the gym, and dress your best
3) you'll always need a shit ton of girls to find the one that wants to bang.

But I'll just say this once, believing that a man can't get attraction with a chick that's not already attracted to him is the problem most guys face, even before they get to the Kilimanjaro of approach anxiety.

Debate this dead horse with someone else, cause the topic has been dead to be for more than a decade. This is truly up there with looks matter, money matters, you always pay, only sluts go to bars, and all sorts of other social programming designed to keep you down.

WIA

Post: #3978

That's why we are here to chop up game. While I do think I'm successful in the game I can always get better and that's the exact reason I'm posting in this thread.

Attraction isn't always physical and I believe that as well. You must have confidence. A girl can smell confidence from a mile away. They can tell by mannerisms and how you act and compose yourself. This to me is very big and one of the biggest components of this game. Not to mention girls love someone is financially successful as well.

So tell me, you are in a party with a couple fine girls and the girl you went to approach just isn't feeling you off the initial approach. See for me I'd just move on to the next chick and see if there is anything there with the next chick. I wouldn't even worry about the first chick anymore. I'd just charge it to the game. What would you do in that situation.

I'm asking this question to learn and see what others take on this situation.

Post: #3979

I somewhat agree with his point. Some girls are NO (10%), some girls are MAYBE(80%), some girls are YES(10%).

Depending on where you live, how attractive you are, and your status level/lifestyle, those numbers might fluctuate. For example, if you're a famous artist/musician/actor then 80% of girls are yes.

For non celebrity niggas like us, most women are in the maybe category. Some women are not sexually available no matter what you say. Some women will grab you by the hand and jump your bones.

Post: #3980

(01-07-2017 07:14 PM)NewDayNewFace Wrote:  That's why we are here to chop up game. While I do think I'm successful in the game I can always get better and that's the exact reason I'm posting in this thread.

Attraction isn't always physical and I believe that as well. You must have confidence. A girl can smell confidence from a mile away. They can tell by mannerisms and how you act and compose yourself. This to me is very big and one of the biggest components of this game. Not to mention girls love someone is financially successful as well.

So tell me, you are in a party with a couple fine girls and the girl you went to approach just isn't feeling you off the initial approach. See for me I'd just move on to the next chick and see if there is anything there with the next chick. I wouldn't even worry about the first chick anymore. I'd just charge it to the game. What would you do in that situation.

I'm asking this question to learn and see what others take on this situation.

If she isn't feeling in the first minute, it means she ain't actually heard me.

80% of approaches
- at night
- music and alcohol flowing
- chicks in groups
- most of them are not feeling you, unless you're that particular type.

That's the playing field.

So when I'll see a group, and my eyes will tell me who's looking the best.
Any man can do that in a micro-second.

But i've fucked more than enough pretty girls at this point - I need to figure out that this chick is about before I even try to flirt or "go there" with her. Cause pretty looks isn't all.





1. I've got my mind right.

Because chicks see attractive dudes on the regular, but that's never enough. Nothing is ever enough for these broads - when she's in BUYER MODE.

Depending on my mood, I might even give off the body language like I'm about to holler.

Smirk. Swagger over. Eye Contact with the target.

And just as I see her tense up for what she knows is gonna come, because she's been getting this all night - yet another dude...

I go left, and start talking to ....THE GROUP

Fuck this bitch.

And Fuck any dude that tried to talk to her stank ass.

With her stuck up attitude. (real rap, she might even be a sweetie pie, and was hoping that I would talk to her....but that would be a trap for me - because even if she likes the way I look - she stays in the buyer's mindset. I still have to keep proving my worth)

Because a pretty boy that steps up, goes straight for the juicy mango on the tree, is gonna have to deal with all of the haters. And even if he handles the haters, she's still deciding whether or not she's trying to buy what he's trying to sell.

I deal with the group FIRST.
I spit some scenario, or say some joke, make some observation - something that they CAN comment on.

And I talk to girl A,B,C, and just as I turn to the target to get her take on it...I change the fucking topic.

So she can't get her little piece in.

And then I might talk to CBA, BAC, CAB...
Maybe i'll swing some attention to her, maybe not.

I don't want to seek rapport with her.
I want her to seek rapport WITH ME.
I want to be the one that gets to buy or sell whatever she's trying to sell me. The psychological principle here is one of investment.
If she asks for my name, she's investing.
If she wants in on the conversation, she's investing.

If she wants the pleasure of socializing, she has to do something for me.

You realize that this has nothing to do with my looks
My muscles
My 6 pack
My big income
My job
My travels
My suits
My car
any of that external bullshit. (luckily, because I have none of that shit)

She is desperately trying to get my attention, because i've taken all of the attention in her little world AWAY from her.

Her seeking MY validation is what the game is.

I'm not really paying attention to what is going on outside of this post, but I'm pretty sure all those dudes are not talking about what I'm talking about.

I'll push a chick away, and then just when she's about to leave, I'll pull her back in.

Once I see her start trying to grab the attention of her group back, trying to get my attention, trying to flip the spotlight - that's when the attraction starts.

That's what you're looking for as a player, when the chick doesn't want you to stop.

Whatever physical attraction is there from jump, basically falls to the wayside - because the chick is hooked mentally. Get her mind, then you get her body.

That's what these bitches actually respond to.

She's still trying to figure out why she's captivated. I certainly don't look like Morris Chestnut or whoever these chicks want to fuck nowadays.

That's why, even in a club with no players, you got these 6'5" dudes going home solo. Just being seen, being a pretty boy, being a meathead, is not really enough. And the more attractive the chick, the more that you just need all that stuff to even be visual. It's necessary but not sufficient.

Yet somehow they end up fucking the bouncer. The bartender. Her Weed Dealer. guys that don't fit the mold. Some guy from her home town or high school, that remembers her before the weave and the ass shots. the guys who aren't phased by her visual bullshit.

It's not that chicks ain't visual when it comes to getting attracted to a man - they are - but that's not all they are. (just like dudes aren't only visual, but few dudes have the sense of self to really realize that)

So miss me with this "confidence" and what not.
She can tell that "you're the man" bullshit.

Fuck that noise.

Can you have a conversation with a group of people and direct the action?
Get everybody to shine?
Put some folks in the doghouse?
Tear em down and rehabilitate them?

Most of the time, these chicks don't even have the independence to rock with you even if she is attracted. (white girls especially, for you dudes that like to change things up)

A girl thinks that she's safe in #'s, when in reality that makes her more vulnerable - because 50% convincing all of her friends, convinces her 100% about you.

And she didn't think you were cute when you first stepped up.

Guys keep getting this shit wrong.

Rapport before attraction
Assuming attraction happens instantly
Focusing on the hot chick instead of dealing with the group as a whole.

This is game 101, it's not even that complicated.

Once you get her hooked, and you give her some attention and take it away
- forcing her to double down
- giving her things to do
- making her answer questions
- saying things that force her to ask you questions

That's when the group sees her CHOOSE you.
They like you.
They will make it easy for you to hang with the crew, hit up waffle house later, and you can drop her off at her spot, in your car..to continue the discussion.

And after you read the bible, and you ask her when she knew she liked you - she'll say immediately - but you'll know in your head because you observed he body language that she wasn't trying to even speak to you, until you captured the attention of her group.

When all is said and done, the game is very simple.

Society says that the boy is supposed to chase the girl.
So the boy has to do all this stuff, and he has to immediately pull out if the chick shows the slightest bit of hesitation.

The girl is supposed to chase the boy.
That's what the game teaches.

Some girls chase muscles, some chase money, some chase status - but what we've found is that these chicks also chase validation.

And it's not something that's special to chicks, but it's something special to humans. It's how leaders get followers. The followers want to be around the leader, want his validation.

Once you see this in the context of chicks, you'll see it everywhere.

WIA

Post: #3981

Read the book " Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene and WIA you hit it on the head. Once you see one principal applied in one context, you learn that it is not exclusive, but more of a section of moving parts. Interesting enough we call it game but I'm sure throughout the thousands of years it has been called other names. Great post man.

Post: #3982

This model WIA speaks about is what the original pick up systems were built on, but the manosphere has got so engrossed in self improvement and the gym that the fundamentals have been forgotten. It really is simple (although not necessarily easy) - you prompt her to invest, and when she does you reward her and use it to escalate. To use WIA's example, you show some value so she asks your name which is an investment, you tell her and then touch her as a reward which is itself an escalation. You have to make her earn every escalation, like a cat that doesn't want what it has, but what's dancing on the string or whatever. I can see how it can be argued that it's your value that makes it easier to get her to invest (and this is why of course it's a good idea to get in shape and all that), but value is being demonstrated when you have conversation skills, when you're making her feel different emotions, when her group are giving you attention, when you're working the room etc.

Post: #3983

As I think back on my 2016-TR and the things she said, I did, her reactions, and so forth, the red pill makes all the more sense to me now.

I'll do a detailed write-up of my thoughts in this thread sometime soon, but the TL;DR of it will be "do not lose your frame."

For the love of god don't lose your frame.

Post: #3984

Real shit right there WIA!

I just watched Trick Baby the other day for the first time. The concepts for finding marks and running game are one in the same.

Post: #3985

(01-07-2017 09:30 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  And I talk to girl A,B,C, and just as I turn to the target to get her take on it...I change the fucking topic.

So she can't get her little piece in.

And then I might talk to CBA, BAC, CAB...
Maybe i'll swing some attention to her, maybe not.

I don't want to seek rapport with her.
I want her to seek rapport WITH ME.
I want to be the one that gets to buy or sell whatever she's trying to sell me. The psychological principle here is one of investment.
If she asks for my name, she's investing.
If she wants in on the conversation, she's investing.

If she wants the pleasure of socializing, she has to do something for me.

^Gold^

Really lays out the mindset. Bait and switch!

Post: #3986

(01-08-2017 09:21 AM)MaceTyrell Wrote:  As I think back on my 2016-TR and the things she said, I did, her reactions, and so forth, the red pill makes all the more sense to me now.

I'll do a detailed write-up of my thoughts in this thread sometime soon, but the TL;DR of it will be "do not lose your frame."

For the love of god don't lose your frame.

Don't lose your frame means in real life you just act stubborn.

But Frame is actually short for Frame of Reference.

So when the customer comes to the salesman about price, he acknowledges price, but then talks about convenience, and value.

So frame is not just not giving in, it's *giving the other side a better way to look at things. *

As Patrice O'Neal would say, give a girl options.

She says "Oh, wait your friends aren't here?" (implying that you're a loser with no friends)

You say, "Yup, I'm free tonight. I love my boys, but do your people ever weigh you down? Nobody can ever make a decision...sometimes you just gotta say fuck it."

1. Yup - agreement
2. I'm free tonight - REFRAME
3. Love my boys...- rhetorical, but also taps into some stuff that she goes through
4. "fuck it" - injecting neutral sexuality into the chat

Chica - So why don't you have a girlfriend?

Dude - OH MY GOD, IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING, A CHICK IS ASKING ME TO BE HER BOYFRIEND...I GOTTA CALL MY MOM

- agree
- reframe what she's doing/and the meaning of her words/intent


All these terms have specific meaning, meaning that you don't just grab from context clues.

WIA

Post: #3987

(01-07-2017 09:30 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

(01-07-2017 07:14 PM)NewDayNewFace Wrote:  That's why we are here to chop up game. While I do think I'm successful in the game I can always get better and that's the exact reason I'm posting in this thread.

Attraction isn't always physical and I believe that as well. You must have confidence. A girl can smell confidence from a mile away. They can tell by mannerisms and how you act and compose yourself. This to me is very big and one of the biggest components of this game. Not to mention girls love someone is financially successful as well.

So tell me, you are in a party with a couple fine girls and the girl you went to approach just isn't feeling you off the initial approach. See for me I'd just move on to the next chick and see if there is anything there with the next chick. I wouldn't even worry about the first chick anymore. I'd just charge it to the game. What would you do in that situation.

I'm asking this question to learn and see what others take on this situation.

If she isn't feeling in the first minute, it means she ain't actually heard me.

80% of approaches
- at night
- music and alcohol flowing
- chicks in groups
- most of them are not feeling you, unless you're that particular type.

That's the playing field.

So when I'll see a group, and my eyes will tell me who's looking the best.
Any man can do that in a micro-second.

But i've fucked more than enough pretty girls at this point - I need to figure out that this chick is about before I even try to flirt or "go there" with her. Cause pretty looks isn't all.





1. I've got my mind right.

Because chicks see attractive dudes on the regular, but that's never enough. Nothing is ever enough for these broads - when she's in BUYER MODE.

Depending on my mood, I might even give off the body language like I'm about to holler.

Smirk. Swagger over. Eye Contact with the target.

And just as I see her tense up for what she knows is gonna come, because she's been getting this all night - yet another dude...

I go left, and start talking to ....THE GROUP

Fuck this bitch.

And Fuck any dude that tried to talk to her stank ass.

With her stuck up attitude. (real rap, she might even be a sweetie pie, and was hoping that I would talk to her....but that would be a trap for me - because even if she likes the way I look - she stays in the buyer's mindset. I still have to keep proving my worth)

Because a pretty boy that steps up, goes straight for the juicy mango on the tree, is gonna have to deal with all of the haters. And even if he handles the haters, she's still deciding whether or not she's trying to buy what he's trying to sell.

I deal with the group FIRST.
I spit some scenario, or say some joke, make some observation - something that they CAN comment on.

And I talk to girl A,B,C, and just as I turn to the target to get her take on it...I change the fucking topic.

So she can't get her little piece in.

And then I might talk to CBA, BAC, CAB...
Maybe i'll swing some attention to her, maybe not.

I don't want to seek rapport with her.
I want her to seek rapport WITH ME.
I want to be the one that gets to buy or sell whatever she's trying to sell me. The psychological principle here is one of investment.
If she asks for my name, she's investing.
If she wants in on the conversation, she's investing.

If she wants the pleasure of socializing, she has to do something for me.

You realize that this has nothing to do with my looks
My muscles
My 6 pack
My big income
My job
My travels
My suits
My car
any of that external bullshit. (luckily, because I have none of that shit)

She is desperately trying to get my attention, because i've taken all of the attention in her little world AWAY from her.

Her seeking MY validation is what the game is.

I'm not really paying attention to what is going on outside of this post, but I'm pretty sure all those dudes are not talking about what I'm talking about.

I'll push a chick away, and then just when she's about to leave, I'll pull her back in.

Once I see her start trying to grab the attention of her group back, trying to get my attention, trying to flip the spotlight - that's when the attraction starts.

That's what you're looking for as a player, when the chick doesn't want you to stop.

Whatever physical attraction is there from jump, basically falls to the wayside - because the chick is hooked mentally. Get her mind, then you get her body.

That's what these bitches actually respond to.

She's still trying to figure out why she's captivated. I certainly don't look like Morris Chestnut or whoever these chicks want to fuck nowadays.

That's why, even in a club with no players, you got these 6'5" dudes going home solo. Just being seen, being a pretty boy, being a meathead, is not really enough. And the more attractive the chick, the more that you just need all that stuff to even be visual. It's necessary but not sufficient.

Yet somehow they end up fucking the bouncer. The bartender. Her Weed Dealer. guys that don't fit the mold. Some guy from her home town or high school, that remembers her before the weave and the ass shots. the guys who aren't phased by her visual bullshit.

It's not that chicks ain't visual when it comes to getting attracted to a man - they are - but that's not all they are. (just like dudes aren't only visual, but few dudes have the sense of self to really realize that)

So miss me with this "confidence" and what not.
She can tell that "you're the man" bullshit.

Fuck that noise.

Can you have a conversation with a group of people and direct the action?
Get everybody to shine?
Put some folks in the doghouse?
Tear em down and rehabilitate them?

Most of the time, these chicks don't even have the independence to rock with you even if she is attracted. (white girls especially, for you dudes that like to change things up)

A girl thinks that she's safe in #'s, when in reality that makes her more vulnerable - because 50% convincing all of her friends, convinces her 100% about you.

And she didn't think you were cute when you first stepped up.

Guys keep getting this shit wrong.

Rapport before attraction
Assuming attraction happens instantly
Focusing on the hot chick instead of dealing with the group as a whole.

This is game 101, it's not even that complicated.

Once you get her hooked, and you give her some attention and take it away
- forcing her to double down
- giving her things to do
- making her answer questions
- saying things that force her to ask you questions

That's when the group sees her CHOOSE you.
They like you.
They will make it easy for you to hang with the crew, hit up waffle house later, and you can drop her off at her spot, in your car..to continue the discussion.

And after you read the bible, and you ask her when she knew she liked you - she'll say immediately - but you'll know in your head because you observed he body language that she wasn't trying to even speak to you, until you captured the attention of her group.

When all is said and done, the game is very simple.

Society says that the boy is supposed to chase the girl.
So the boy has to do all this stuff, and he has to immediately pull out if the chick shows the slightest bit of hesitation.

The girl is supposed to chase the boy.
That's what the game teaches.

Some girls chase muscles, some chase money, some chase status - but what we've found is that these chicks also chase validation.

And it's not something that's special to chicks, but it's something special to humans. It's how leaders get followers. The followers want to be around the leader, want his validation.

Once you see this in the context of chicks, you'll see it everywhere.

WIA

I feel like when your book comes out, we will usher in a new era of PUA because it will be so good and influential.

PUA 1.0- Mystery era
PUA 2.0- Lifestyle era
PUA 3.0- WIA era

Post: #3988

WIA,

A book a book.

Been following the website - it's glorious.

I've been guilty of sticking to passive-only game upgrades lately (though they are helping getting a huge bump in obvious attention).

I lack the WIA Mindset!

Post: #3989

Good drop WIA. Really appreciate the game. That's why we are here. We can all get better. Look forward to chopping more game with you.

Post: #3990

^^ Yeah Iso has that right.

WIA has gone past the active sets, and setting up lifestyle we promote here.

"The Dime Model"

Post: #3991

What WIA posted is basic outline of MM and group dynamics that is known for over 15 years [for community guys]. It's not some kind of next level, maybe to manosphere it is

TLDR version, geeky delivery with routines in between but the model is the same...



Back to the question.. When a girl doesn't feel you at the start it's either because you hit on her too soon or she doesn't like your first impression.

When you hit on her you pressure her and she's pretty much forced to make up her mind in seconds. It also puts her on the spot so she will feel judged if she says YES. To avoid the unknown or possible judgment she says NO.

When she just doesn't like your first impression it's fine. You have time and game to turn it around.

So what to do to get THAT SPECIFIC girl?

You mindfuck her. You make yourself known at the place, you vibe with her peer group, you show her you can have a good time without her. It makes her feel left out. She wants in. She wants your attention even before she knows a single thing about you. So you make her wait, make her qualify to you, you challenge her, etc. She bites and starts to game you. Now the buyer/seller dynamic switches to your favor. That's how true game is played. You are [or make yourself as] the prize and she's trying to win you over, no matter the reason.

That's what game is. You learn to flip certain switches in people and they respond in predictable way. When you know how to consciously flip those switches quick you get expected results faster.


PS. What's funny is how mislead we are. Women feel they are "safer" when they are in group whereas they are much more vulnerable and adaptive when a guy takes full advantage of group dynamics. Men on the other hand think they have a best chance when they are one on one with a girl from the start whereas they have much more work to do to make her think and feel certain things.

Post: #3992

Lol, y'all turning me into some sort of game super hero. Far from it.

I go out, solo or with a homie, we shoot the shit, and incorporate those around us. Solo, I just start talking to whoever and incorporate anyone in earshot.

The only real difference between me and the gang of dudes holding the wall is that they don't try to bring other people in. Too scared to talk to the strangers next to them. Nobody ever wants to be first.

WIA

Post: #3993

(01-09-2017 12:06 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  The only real difference between me and the gang of dudes holding the wall is that they don't try to bring other people in. Too scared to talk to the strangers next to them. Nobody ever wants to be first.

This brought back some high school memories. We're sitting down at our lunch table. That day it was all just dudes at our table. The chicks were gossiping more than likely as I didn't know why any weren't around.

Anyways we all see this new chick that was smoking hot and sitting alone for whatever reason. As all healthy teenage boys do we were hardcore staring until one of the guys at the table is like fuck this I'm talking to her(major props to him for going for it). They seem to be building a damned good rapport and being the jealous guy I was that day decide to head over and see if I can steal her away.

This creates a chain reaction where within 20 minutes there's like 6 guys surrounding this chick trying to get at it while the ones with some dignity held back and just face palmed.

Never saw the chick at lunch again after that. Think we scared her off pretty hardcore.

Ever since I realized why cockblocking or trying to steal a chick away from another dude opening her is just a bad idea.

Post: #3994

Conte, I just think cockblocking is poor taste. I do have certain game virtues. It's like in fighting; some guys will not hit a guy with glasses, they won't hit a guy who is down, they won't swing on a lizard. You have some guys who play for sole keeps, however. They will smash their best friend's wife, no holds barred etc. This is a divisive mindset in my humble opinion.

Post: #3995

Speaking of cockblocking, I have to discuss a scenario I saw this weekend.

I go out on a weekend night. I scan the dance floor and I saw a tall decent looking black guy dancing with a white girl. They danced and made out for at least the 30 minutes I was there. I just assumed they were a couple because they looked like one. The white girl came with 1 friend. The Black guy holds the White girls hands and starts walking out. Next thing you know, her friend darts from across the room and grabs her hand and pulls her away and says "You aren't going home with some random guy." The guy walked off without any reaction while the white girl went with her friend.

I had never seen such a blatant cockblock before. I'm not sure what that guy is supposed to do in that scenario. He was 99% of the way there, then had his girl pulled away at the last minute.

Post: #3996

(01-09-2017 05:03 PM)Iso Wrote:  Speaking of cockblocking, I have to discuss a scenario I saw this weekend.

I go out on a weekend night. I scan the dance floor and I saw a tall decent looking black guy dancing with a white girl. They danced and made out for at least the 30 minutes I was there. I just assumed they were a couple because they looked like one. The white girl came with 1 friend. The Black guy holds the White girls hands and starts walking out. Next thing you know, her friend darts from across the room and grabs her hand and pulls her away and says "You aren't going home with some random guy." The guy walked off without any reaction while the white girl went with her friend.

I had never seen such a blatant cockblock before. I'm not sure what that guy is supposed to do in that scenario. He was 99% of the way there, then had his girl pulled away at the last minute.

He should've pulled that Bobby Hutchinson on her ass!

Post: #3997

Rookie mistake
Built a lot of attraction but didn't get logistics.

Had he went through the sequence, he would have known that she had people there. Maybe meet the group, maybe sneak out. PDA didn't help either.

Hard to recover from that, because not only is the obstacle mad, the chick feels ashamed and guilty.

Maybe,,

"omg we were trying to.find you. I'm Daqan, Jessie said...."

WIA

Post: #3998

Rookie mistake
Built a lot of attraction but didn't get logistics.

Had he went through the sequence, he would have known that she had people there. Maybe meet the group, maybe sneak out. PDA didn't help either.

Hard to recover from that, because not only is the obstacle mad, the chick feels ashamed and guilty.

Maybe,,

"omg we were trying to.find you. I'm Daqan, Jessie said...."

WIA

Post: #3999

(01-09-2017 02:28 PM)Moma Wrote:  Conte, I just think cockblocking is poor taste. I do have certain game virtues. It's like in fighting; some guys will not hit a guy with glasses, they won't hit a guy who is down, they won't swing on a lizard. You have some guys who play for sole keeps, however. They will smash their best friend's wife, no holds barred etc. This is a divisive mindset in my humble opinion.

Of course just reiterating why it's both distasteful and ineffective. You just don't do it.

Post: #4000

(01-09-2017 05:44 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  Rookie mistake
Built a lot of attraction but didn't get logistics.

Had he went through the sequence, he would have known that she had people there. Maybe meet the group, maybe sneak out. PDA didn't help either.

Hard to recover from that, because not only is the obstacle mad, the chick feels ashamed and guilty.

Maybe,,

"omg we were trying to.find you. I'm Daqan, Jessie said...."

WIA

The situation from my post helped me understand your game viewpoint and the mistakes I made in the past. I always tried to weasel my way to pussy. I wanted to isolate her and get her away from her friends. I wanted to avoid talking to her friends. Instead I should be engaging her friends. It might lose me a few sets, but I would rather lose those sets early than later.

I see your philosophy as an investment like compound interest. If you save, you are hurt early on in terms of consumption. But, it will pay you back 10x in the end as your investment grows.