I haven't done much dating at all over the past few months due to the holidays, family & being too busy doing my own thing.

Yet reading the past few pages, is akin to a small wake up call, as I'm reminded of how much tedious, petty shite the average modern guy has to deal with in modern dating.

After you make plans with a girl to meet up, what do you text her in the intermittent period between the time you made plans and the actual date arrives? Sunday night I made plans with a girl I met outside of a club the week before to get drinks wednesday at 8, and I think having a quick text convo tonight would reduce chance of flaking tomorrow. She's college age. Or should i just wait to text until tomorrow? Im leaning towards waiting.

(03-01-2016 11:21 AM)Switch Wrote:  After you make plans with a girl to meet up, what do you text her in the intermittent period between the time you made plans and the actual date arrives? Sunday night I made plans with a girl I met outside of a club the week before to get drinks wednesday at 8, and I think having a quick text convo tonight would reduce chance of flaking tomorrow. She's college age. Or should i just wait to text until tomorrow? Im leaning towards waiting.

(If you haven't met in person): In 2016 with college-aged American girls I'd never wait more than 2 days for a meetup. That's simply too much time for them to lose attention. 1 or 2 days at max between scheduling the meetup and the actual meetup. Send her a snapchat or picture of something interesting you are doing over the next days. Something naturally apart of your life that conjures up you have an interesting lifestyle.

Example 1: Taking your motorcycle out of the garage to tune it up.
Example 2: You at the beach with your surfboard.
Example 3: Happy hour at a cool venue with a group of co-workers or friends.

Bottomline, just make sure it is something natural and don't waste your days spending all your time attempting this.

(If you have met in person): When in doubt, wait. But if you sense things are stale, see the above.

As I recently indicated in the Approach Thread, I'm working on setting up a date with this girl I struck up a chat with on campus today. I utilized a cleanly logistical set of texts, leaning toward a local bar near my place, once I found out what time of the week she's free. The text exchange left off with her saying "I'll see if it works" as far as the time & place I indicated. A couple hours later the phone lights up with, "Tell me about yourself". As far as this interaction goes, I reckon I've texted enough, and it's time for a meet, so how should I deal with this? Call up for a chat?

This is your chance to make her feel good and safe. Don't hold back tell her about yourself.She is trying to create a emotional bond to you so give it to her.

- talk about real shit
- insert frases like " I feel like…"
- you want to explore a range of emotions
-ask her about herself
Have fun opening up a bit

I am an Australian in th US and was matched with a girl on bumble. She opens with:

"Please tell me you have an accent!". How should I respond?

(03-02-2016 07:36 PM)Mess O. Wrote:  As I recently indicated in the Approach Thread, I'm working on setting up a date with this girl I struck up a chat with on campus today. I utilized a cleanly logistical set of texts, leaning toward a local bar near my place, once I found out what time of the week she's free. The text exchange left off with her saying "I'll see if it works" as far as the time & place I indicated. A couple hours later the phone lights up with, "Tell me about yourself". As far as this interaction goes, I reckon I've texted enough, and it's time for a meet, so how should I deal with this? Call up for a chat?

I don't know bro, if you comply with silly questions you may look weak (I did it in the past, and got a stream of questions, ranging from whereabouts I was to my age - I was just being assessed like a horse at an auction, whereas it should be the other way round), or she is genuinely intimidated and needs to "consult" with their girlfriends if she should take this "great risk" of going out with a stranger. I'm in a similar situation right now but I just can't be bothered to text back and forth, life's too short and I can get new prospects. If it was me, I'd say "I'm sure you're daring enough to venture to a coffee shop with me? Then, you might have a chance to learn a bit about me." You could schedule as late as possible, then push for even 1-2 hours later and transition to drinks, instead of coffee. Or, just put a ball in her court "I'm happy to hang out as long as you make your mind up", then forget about her and generate, in the meantime, more prospects. If she's curious enough, she'll be back.

(03-01-2016 11:21 AM)Switch Wrote:  After you make plans with a girl to meet up, what do you text her in the intermittent period between the time you made plans and the actual date arrives? Sunday night I made plans with a girl I met outside of a club the week before to get drinks wednesday at 8, and I think having a quick text convo tonight would reduce chance of flaking tomorrow. She's college age. Or should i just wait to text until tomorrow? Im leaning towards waiting.

You should never set the plans in stone a few days in advance. Keep her on her toes. In other words, try to set it up in gradual stages. So, on Sunday you set the day. Monday, you set more general time (afternoon, evening, or night, for example). On Tuesday, venue. Wednesday is key - then is the time for proper tactics - that is "a validation tool" as I call it. I usually, to test interest, validate their interest and probabilities they will come out on a date by not texting them the time to meet up! It shows you're not needy, have busy lifetime, or even forgot about her! Usually, I get a girl, around midday to afternoon have her text me what time do we meet. Then I text her the time. Then it's almost guaranteed she will turn up and not flake. So, making it a reverse process is advantageous because you are, in broad terms, looking "non-needy" unlike all other guys fixing the time and date well in advance because they have nothing else going on (that is, other prospects).

delete

(02-24-2016 09:05 AM)pantsonfire Wrote:  

(02-24-2016 03:36 AM)pantsonfire Wrote:  

(02-23-2016 03:41 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

(02-23-2016 03:32 PM)pantsonfire Wrote:  Arranged to meetup with a girl from OKCupid.

Her. What day we are meeting up?
Me. Wednesday 7pm
Her. Can we change it thursday as got work meetings till 9pm
Me. Pause. 2 hours later. Ok. Thursday 7.30pm
Her. Ok cool. What are we doing?
Me. Some Gin and Tonic and Martini. Who knows?
Her. Ok sounds good.
Me. Yeah i am good.
Her. Next day. Lets do 9-11 as we are going for drinks, I will have dinner with my family
Me. Read and blanking.

Correct way ?

Her. What day we are meeting up?
Me. Wednesday 7pm
Her. Can we change it thursday as got work meetings till 9pm
Me. Cool, 9.30 works better for me.
Her. Ok cool. What are we doing?
Me. Drinks at Bull and Horn pub. (close to your pad)
Her. Ok sounds good.
Me. Cool

Her. Next day. Lets do 9-11 as we are going for drinks, I will have dinner with my family

Forgot to mention i stated the bar too. I dont fancy waiting around after work till 9pm.

Update

Me. After 24 hours. - No. I finish work at 6.30pm. Meet me 7pm at xxx bar.
Her. Oh, I've just booked a table for my family for dinner at 7pm.

What to reply?

(wrote this before I saw the date on your post)
She's changed times so much you cant really agree again without looking like a chump. You've gotta make this "date" like an afterthought now. "I'll text you where im at around 10"

(03-04-2016 10:29 AM)babygirlhesaloner Wrote:  

(02-24-2016 09:05 AM)pantsonfire Wrote:  

(02-24-2016 03:36 AM)pantsonfire Wrote:  

(02-23-2016 03:41 PM)rudebwoy Wrote:  

(02-23-2016 03:32 PM)pantsonfire Wrote:  Arranged to meetup with a girl from OKCupid.

Her. What day we are meeting up?
Me. Wednesday 7pm
Her. Can we change it thursday as got work meetings till 9pm
Me. Pause. 2 hours later. Ok. Thursday 7.30pm
Her. Ok cool. What are we doing?
Me. Some Gin and Tonic and Martini. Who knows?
Her. Ok sounds good.
Me. Yeah i am good.
Her. Next day. Lets do 9-11 as we are going for drinks, I will have dinner with my family
Me. Read and blanking.

Correct way ?

Her. What day we are meeting up?
Me. Wednesday 7pm
Her. Can we change it thursday as got work meetings till 9pm
Me. Cool, 9.30 works better for me.
Her. Ok cool. What are we doing?
Me. Drinks at Bull and Horn pub. (close to your pad)
Her. Ok sounds good.
Me. Cool

Her. Next day. Lets do 9-11 as we are going for drinks, I will have dinner with my family

Forgot to mention i stated the bar too. I dont fancy waiting around after work till 9pm.

Update

Me. After 24 hours. - No. I finish work at 6.30pm. Meet me 7pm at xxx bar.
Her. Oh, I've just booked a table for my family for dinner at 7pm.

What to reply?

(wrote this before I saw the date on your post)
She's changed times so much you cant really agree again without looking like a chump. You've gotta make this "date" like an afterthought now. "I'll text you where im at around 10"

I'm afraid, bro, you've got low priority in her book (possibly a power play - fitness test to see how dominating you can be) and she also is a bit rude - first she agreed and confirmed, then she changed her mind. Do yourself a favour and absolutely do not agree to her schedule as she will see you as another push over. I think what might be worth a shot - radio silence. If she re-engages, then you matter to her. If she doesn't, you've just saved yourself a few bucks and a couple hours. Alternatively, restart no sooner than a week later. I always make it fluid and do not make firm plans until the same day so look a bit unconcerned, make a girl wonder if the date is gonna happen and have some room for adjustments.

@ ksbms - I'm still grappling with it, texting at the absolute minimum. Yesterday when I tried to confirm the time, she vanished for the night, so I deleted the number, and the next morning hits me up, telling me that the following day would work for her, so I don't think this is gonna fly. Still, I'm investing the bare minimal in correspondence in case there's a shot at a go. She's local, so, who knows?

Randomly matched a girl on tinder that I banged a bit over a year ago, never expected to see her again..

Hey pretty lady, long time no see
Her: no kidding(instant)
How ya been(few mins later)
her: ive been good I guess, how are you? (5-6 hours later)

Not sure where to go from here.. I have a slam dunk if I can get her out on a date, I gather she is trying not to come off needy from the delay in response.

It was a SNL but we really clicked and I fucked her good but she left the next day. I'm actually moving to her city soon but don't wanna drop that bait til we're together in person.

I've been good, etc. Is gonna flatline the conversation as far as I'm concerned. What do you boys got for me?

Said fuck it and went with... Decent, things are looking up anyway.. Getting ready to move soon

Bait dropped... Snares set. I'll keep ya's posted on the kill

How is "Are you alive?" to a girl you haven't heard from in a month (or is that too 'girly')?

(03-08-2016 04:25 PM)Bey Wrote:  How is "Are you alive?" to a girl you haven't heard from in a month (or is that too 'girly')?

I'd go with "Did u die?". Any more info about the previous conversation and why you stopped talking?

(03-08-2016 04:43 PM)Stimulus Wrote:  I'd go with "Did u die?". Any more info about the previous conversation and why you stopped talking?

Thanks, I went with 'Did you die? I thought cats had nine lives' (due to the history/context). Let me know if I shot myself in the foot with that.

(03-08-2016 04:25 PM)Bey Wrote:  How is "Are you alive?" to a girl you haven't heard from in a month (or is that too 'girly')?

Just send her a picture of something awesome you did. This could reignite her interest if it was related to anything that came up in conversation. Or, if you went on a date with her, make it relate to the date in some way.

If you haven't heard from her in a month, I'd probably send her a nuke text, if she responds, proceed as usual, if not, delete.

Via snap:

"I forgot what I sent you, what do you need documentation of?"

This is a random bar chick, I feel like getting dirty here is the way to go.

(03-09-2016 11:06 PM)CJ Wrote:  Via snap:

"I forgot what I sent you, what do you need documentation of?"

This is a random bar chick, I feel like getting dirty here is the way to go.

More context would help here, but something like this might work:

"Cup size, Justin Bieber fan club ID#, and a copy of your private photo album"

Girl from THIS approach. Reinitiated two days ago, asked her what her weekend plans were, she replied "Nothing special, usual things to do at home and asked about my plans." Se seems interested, asked me when, suggested Saturday, 7pm, got this:

"I have to meet a french friend tonight, I don't know when, I have to wait for her to answer. Can I tell you later if it's still Ok ? Or maybe you could join us"

So, suddenly a friend appeared! And there is no other time for her female friend to meet with her than exactly the same time I suggested. Come on, girls can meet any time they want. My take on that is, if she were serious about sex, she wouldn't put up this barrier.

What do you guys reckon?

Ask her if her friend is hot. Nuke it.

Met a chick (an 8 in my book) through daygame. Had a first coffee date last week, then went to a club last night.

Lots of talking for a one hour, then dancing and finally heavy petting in a dark corner.

At some point she says: "Gotta go the restroom. You stay right here, will ya?
Me: "Sure."

She doesn't return after 15 minutes. I text her:

"Where are you?"

no response

Then half an hour later, she texts:

"Where are YOU?"
"Next to the staircase."

Again no response.

Went home alone then early in the morning and woke up at noon. She texts:

"Hey sorry, I left at some point! Hope you got home safely"


Looks like a classic case of buyer's remorse. I'm tempted to not text back but if I would, what do suggest to write as a follow up?

^^^

She flat out bailed on you during the date. That type of behavior is unacceptable and she does not deserve a response. If anything, may I suggest just this "unsubscribe"

If a girl you're heavy petting with doesn't come back after 15, she's not coming back. Plus she made sure you couldn't see her leave.