Post: #1

I use the word "bettering yourself" a bit broadly in the title but it seems like after reading the posts of a lot of members on here in my time as well as putting in some work in recent years, certain trends in the background come to mind. Most members were not the popular kids growing up or in their adolescence and I notice quite a few members had an upbringing that most could classify as different than "normal".

I've noticed it isn't that unusual to find forum members who were "incel" at some point in their lives, even during the years western society describes as the "prime years" where social life, dating and fun are at their peak (high school and/or college), not to say that I agree but man American society is pretty damn adamant about that shit.

A lot of guys get into "game" and this whole process of self-improvement for the purpose of getting laid more. Guys will try to better their social skills/charisma ("game"), improve their look, their style and even their overall lifestyle for the purposes of being more attractive to women.

As I have gone through this journey in the past years I've realized that sex on its own is not enough, it doesn't really complete me by itself. I mean yeah its great but other things have to be going on in my life for me to feel more fulfilled. It just feels to me that there has to be more to this game and self-improvement thing than just getting more pussy.

For those of you in here who put in the work to look better, dress better, tighten their game up, improve their mindset and truly go down this path, how did your life improve outside of just getting more pussy?

I'd love to hear the stories of older members as well.

Post: #2

It hasn't and I'm still not getting any sex.

Post: #3

In every single way.

I'm healthier. I am stronger, both physically and mentally.

I have better relationships because I have an abundance mentality: I cut off those that aren't worth it, and I keep a circle of amazing people around me.

This makes me happier. I am more confident.

I'm wealthier, and continue to make more money yearly due to the fear of rejection being completely eliminated from my inner being.

I can help others, and help them to realize their potential.

I can go anywhere in the world and not be lonely, because i know that a new friend or a new love is one word away.

I travel more, and have experienced more, and continue to have amazing experiences.

I am learning constantly, I don't go a day without wonder, and learning something new.

I am a better man:

I will be able to raise a son as a son, a daughter as a daughter.

I will be able to keep a wife when the time comes, because I know how to handle women.

I am the prize, any person is lucky to be around me, to have me as a friend, or as a lover.

I have vision for my life. I have purpose. I wake up every day with a smile.

I don't worry about little things, there is seldom a time you can get a rise out of me. Things are what they are, and what I can control, I control. What I cannot control, I don't let bother me.

I don't live with regrets.

I've learned to love life, and all that comes with it.

How did bettering myself improve my life? It saved my life. I am not the best I can be, I realize that every day is an opportunity to be better than yesterday's me. I will never be the best version of myself, because you don't stop growing until you pass on. I believe that I can achieve what I set out to do because where I was 5 years ago was a completely different man. I won't even be the same man tomorrow. If that doesn't make you feel powerful, I don't know what will.

Post: #4

Beer, while these threads may not cross any boundaries, you are clearly OCD-ing yourself with these.

You're like BeerBozzzz™.

Mind-wank addict!

If only that one magic forum post would appear, all your problems would be solved?

I'm not trying to speak down to you, but I'm sensing a pattern.

Post: #5

(10-19-2018 08:16 PM)TheFinalEpic Wrote:  In every single way.

I'm healthier. I am stronger, both physically and mentally.

I have better relationships because I have an abundance mentality: I cut off those that aren't worth it, and I keep a circle of amazing people around me.

This makes me happier. I am more confident.

I'm wealthier, and continue to make more money yearly due to the fear of rejection being completely eliminated from my inner being.

I can help others, and help them to realize their potential.

I can go anywhere in the world and not be lonely, because i know that a new friend or a new love is one word away.

I travel more, and have experienced more, and continue to have amazing experiences.

I am learning constantly, I don't go a day without wonder, and learning something new.

I am a better man:

I will be able to raise a son as a son, a daughter as a daughter.

I will be able to keep a wife when the time comes, because I know how to handle women.

I am the prize, any person is lucky to be around me, to have me as a friend, or as a lover.

I have vision for my life. I have purpose. I wake up every day with a smile.

I don't worry about little things, there is seldom a time you can get a rise out of me. Things are what they are, and what I can control, I control. What I cannot control, I don't let bother me.

I don't live with regrets.

I've learned to love life, and all that comes with it.

How did bettering myself improve my life? It saved my life. I am not the best I can be, I realize that every day is an opportunity to be better than yesterday's me. I will never be the best version of myself, because you don't stop growing until you pass on. I believe that I can achieve what I set out to do because where I was 5 years ago was a completely different man. I won't even be the same man tomorrow. If that doesn't make you feel powerful, I don't know what will.

One of the most inspiring posts I've seen on these boards.

Post: #6

Beautiful post FinalEpic!

Post: #7

I learned Spanish dating all the latinas for the last five years. It really helps because now I can negotiate great rates and make friends easier on my travels to Spain or Latin America. I also plan on retiring cheaply to one of these countries. So that’s huge.

Another benefit of game is learning how women are emotional creatures. I stopped sharing my true thoughts and ideas with them. They don’t understand anyway. I talk philosophy and share my deepest questions with my buddies and that has become important now With women it’s all flirtation and they seem to like that kind of attention anyway.

I also developed tremendous respect for my dad after analyzing all the bullshit women put him through. He was trying to do the right thing for God, but American women were not interested. So now he has me as a close friend. We speak almost daily and I fly back to see him a few times a year. It’s very grounding. Having an older mentor is important.

That has also led me to minimalism. The whole bar scene is a scheme to make money off of male thirst. Since I dont pedestalize women, I don’t waste money on that shit or anything material. If I meet a girl on tinder, I invite her to a place by my place for happy hour and that’s it. No more wasted money on expensive dates and gifts. I also prepare most of my meals which saves a ton. It adds up to a down payment on a house for me, rather than some girls instagram food pic. (Which I won’t even be in)

And finally, health. I originally lost fifty pounds wanting to impress chicks. Now I have a healthy lifestyle regardless of who cares, because I feel great.

Post: #8

I've accomplished more academically then I could imagine (at the time it wasn't much, I thought I would be a community college low life)

Post college rough but im on a new career path where game is helping me dramatically.

Everything is coming together I just need to stay focused and not let outside bullshit (flakey friends, bum family, day to day lust ) get in my way.

Game has brought a whole new meaning to delayed gratification for me.

Post: #9

(10-19-2018 09:11 PM)456 Wrote:  Beer, while these threads may not cross any boundaries, you are clearly OCD-ing yourself with these.

You're like BeerBozzzz™.

Mind-wank addict!

If only that one magic forum post would appear, all your problems would be solved?

I'm not trying to speak down to you, but I'm sensing a pattern.

You got me man!

Honestly 456, I have a problem with a vision, I ask myself in regards to game where I want to go but then I wonder if where I want to go is just unrealistic. In some ways I have more going for me like career success, good health and the game itself has become easier for me in recent years with the dating apps and host of other things.

You see 456, I don't just want sex with random women, relationships or even stuff that is completely woman related to come out of game. I just wonder what there is in the future man, I just do sometimes. I wonder if this is it as a man. I wonder if the end result of game is just fucking a bunch of randoms and that's it.

I envision a life, maybe I dream too much, of where I have quality friends while having success with women and feeling like I belong to a nice quality crowd. A life where I don't have to deal with shit friends that hate me for having success with women, running game, getting on dating apps or wanting to spend a weekend partying. A life where I can go on this game journey not just by myself but almost with a team by my side of cool guys and some great high quality girls. Maybe a life one day where I feel like I belong.

But sometimes I think I dream.

Sometimes I wonder if it is just another day at the office where I make my money, occasionally fuck a random, pursue a "hobby" and then just lather rinse repeat until I die.

So I post this to get stories of what is possible with game other than just pussy. If we can use good game to bring hot girls into our lives then maybe using it to bring higher quality friends and higher quality life experiences into our lives as well perhaps?

Post: #10

"Anything is possible" is about all anyone ELSE's experience will come down to.

Live life and make incremental progress in "a good direction" every single day, and only when you look up after some time has flown by, will you see it work or not.

Sitting at Step 1 worrying because you don't know whether Step 100 is realistic, or even what you want, is a good way to never get to Step 2, 3, etc.

Just keep moving forward. Keep the windows open; you can't force the breeze to enter, but you can be ready.

Life's opportunities pop up in those interim moments where you are are keeping it moving day by day -- not when you are having a big think-fest about the Endgame™.

I can fall pray to that line of thinking as well, that's why I'm responding.

The best things in life happened when I made HABITS of small incremental positive things day by day, and then was primed to SEE and GRAB opportunities (in various areas). For a game example, I remember one spring deciding to take more daily walks. I knew in the back of my mind, there would be some nice natural cold approach opps (here in a large city). But I did NOT focus on it or think about it, or else I'd never have enjoyed the first few walks. And then I'd never have gone on walk #X where I met a stunning "9 for me" type girl, and everything Just Worked (lots of sex and a mini-relationship). Never would have happened if I was obsessing about the "things that could or might happen".

Those things never happened during the deep think and essentially the "thirst" that underlies it.

To make a silly analogy, it sounds like you would prefer KNOWING 100% or 0% whether you will be/have X in Y years, more than you would actually prefer being/having X, time unknown.

Short term solution: fill your free thinking time with tangible activities. Don't obsess about all the social circles you see while doing those activities. Don't be the single guy looking wistfully at all the couples smiling at the park. Don't be the coupled-up guy strolling on yet another boring park walk with his "boo", looking wistfully at the bachelor happily striding down the path.

Post: #11

It doesn't improve your life, it just makes you more powerful. Any extra benefits are countered by the extra responsibilities.

Grow at your own pace and don't force it, because if it doesn't come as you try, it means you're not ready for it--trust the process.

I have a great memory, and I can remember for a fact that my life has never gotten 'better' even as my power to influence grew exponentially. Bettering yourself gets you that power, and power allows you to get what you want, but life is life no matter what you accomplish, no matter how strong and powerful you get, no matter how many top women you bed, money you make etc. Finding balance, and being free of all addictions and vices is the real challenge. I think having passionate work and strong business/work friendships is the first component, a healthy family is the second, a strong community the third. Without these components in balance, we replace them with vices and addictions.

Appreciate your journey, that is the prize, but of course if you can, get power, because while it won't make your life better, it will give you full control over the world around you, and you can claim full responsibility for your life once it's said and done; have no regrets.

Post: #12

Beer

I posted this in another thread

(09-27-2018 02:04 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  OP

Steps to being cool

Step 1. Stop posting asinine threads

Step 2. Go read this book





Here's a quote from the book

Quote:"The key to being cool is to stop posting stupid threads"...Dale Carnegie circa 1937

Step 1. Stop posting asinine threads

The answers youre looking for are 100% in your head.

You want to become some Haji Heffner-esque playboy or something?... then your internal dialogue has to be that of what you want to be

You want know if you'll succeed at whatever it is you want before you take action towards that goal?..then you will never reach that goal

Stop mentally masturbating with these pointless threads

You've been given a lot of quality, actionable advice.

Enough already Go do something

Post: #13

I have been making moves and doing something, been doing a lot of things. This post may as well put the nail in the coffin to my posting career on RVF but it is an off my chest type of deal.

So I had to reply to this thread because of a thought that dawned on me very recently.

Young guys are advised to get mentors with their careers, I did that and it paid off but that leads me to this post. It seems like mentors or guys for lifestyle who are where you want to be in terms of game are extremely tough to find if they are even out there. Most of the times it is some phony PUA trying to sell you services.

There is this thought out there that the 30s are a guy's "peak" and I always debate that these days but I reflect back to my own observations. Most high value dudes I knew growing up got married at some point in their 20s, at that point they pushed hard for the marriage life with kids.

I have never seen the end product of this so called growth trajectory of a guy. They say work hard in your 20s, build that nice career, give meaning to your life and don't get tied down. Well I have to say that mostly all guys I know who are hitting life on all cylinders are married with a family or have an LTR.

I have not seen the end result of this guy who played by the Rational Male advice of working hard in his 20s and being single so he could capitalize on his 30s, like I have no idea what that even looks like outside of the most extreme of examples which is Dan Bilzerian. Now I know he is not a fan favorite on here but that is literally one of the very few guys I've heard of over the age of 30 who didn't get tied down with a marriage and kids. That's like the closest I have had to a role model.

Its like I always wanted some sort of guy who I can look to who is 35 and just say I want to be like that instead of chasing something in my head that I sometimes feel like is a fantasy.

I am putting in the work daily with my health, career and even a recent hobby but am left thinking about what I am even doing all of this for.

I don't want a kid, marriage, a wife or any of that shit but then I wonder what.

You're in your 30s, high value, made it and yet everyone around your age fucked up with the marriage and kids deal. It almost makes me wonder why if there is so much promise to this path so many dudes out there who are doing well in life still say fuck it and get married before 30 or are at least close to it....

Even if I get roasted or destroyed or banned for this post, I know I am not the only dude out there who loses sleep over this shit.

Post: #14

^ Rest assured bro, there are hundreds of men in every big city in America (NYC, LA, Miami, Chicago) that are living that exact lifestyle in their 30s, 40s, and older. The media doesn't like to showcase this shit because they want to see men tied down younger. But they're out there. I know several of them myself, and there are many on this forum as well.

I'm not going to argue about what age is the "peak" of a mans life, because it depends on too many factors. Genetics (how fast you age) is a major one that rarely get discussed. I've never made general statements about when "a man should peak" because it is impossible to know for each person. Some guys peak at 20, others at 40+. Its mental masturbation trying to come up with an average.

What I will say is that if you continue to constantly worry about whether this is just an unachievable dream, you will almost certainly never get there. Whereas guys like myself, who are similar age to you but focus on executing and having a fun time doing it, will.

Post: #15

Beer, although your posts are getting criticized for being OCD, I do find it commendable that you are wrestling with these questions. Most people go through life without doing that. So, here's some perspective that will hopefully help you work through things.

I know it can be disheartening to deal with the reality that you can't find any good mentors or role models for your lifestyle outside of work and career. It's hard for a specific reason: society is not going to tell you the truth about life. Society is going to tell you to pursue a lifestyle that is best for society, even if it is not the best for you individually.

That's why as RDF mentioned, the media will only show you the narrative that men shouldn't wait too long to get married, because men who are tied down make better economic workhorses and are less likely to speak up against the status quo for fear of jeopardizing their family life.

That's why it's easier to find a career mentor than a lifestyle mentor, because doing well in your career means you can provide more tax and consumption money.

Think about the high-value men who got married in their 20's.
- Are their wives going to increase in value alongside them, or even remain bangable past 35?
- Are they going to be able to spend the fruits of their labor on week-long vacations to exotic locales far from home?
- Are they going to be able to set their own yearly schedule or are they forced to adhere to the academic calendar due to having kids in school?
- Are they going to be able to quit their jobs due to a toxic or stressful work environment?

This is not to say that men shouldn't get married in their 20's, but how many of those men were properly taught by family/community/societal figures about the downsides of getting married early, and to weigh them against the benefits? Probably none.

This isn't just an indictment of modern Western society with its progressive/feminist/degenerate malaise. You will find this in many developed Asian societies too. When society gets too comfortable and does not have to worry about struggling to survive, it resorts to creating other narratives like "finding your soul mate" in order to keep people (especially men) from leaving the reservation. Even when those men would individually benefit from seeing the world outside of that reservation.

So the way I see it, the end goal of self improvement is not to get laid or to die with the most toys. The ultimate goal of self improvement to build up your own power as an individual to push back against societal pressures and be able to live life on your own terms. Build up your one-man kingdom, so to speak -- that's the whole theme of "Return of Kings", isn't it? Think about the lifestyle topics discussed on this forum: game, career, location and financial independence, traveling/expatriating, learning new skills and languages, fitness, etc. The common theme is to give yourself more options in life and not be forced to accept a subpar arrangement that society wants you to take.

You wish for a mentor but can't find one. The best advice I have there is to follow a life path that will enable you to become a mentor to younger men one day, become the mentor that you never had. Learn from your own life experiences of choosing the less-traveled path. I'm not there yet myself so I can't tell you more.

Hope that helps.

Post: #16

I'll give you four concrete examples.

When I was younger I was painfully shy. So I joined a college fraternity as a sophomore. It forced me into social situations and I developed comfort. I also learned some leadership skills and how to dress well.

I have also read widely on the scientific (social, psychology, biology) backgrounds to game. Cialdiani's Influence and Voss' Never Split the Difference were probably the two best. Everyone would benefit from reading those, and they are easy to read. I don't know if everyone would benefit from the other books I read but I did because I have an academic bent. How to Win Friends and Influence People is good too because it implants the idea that how you approach things matters, even though there are only a handful of actionable ideas in that book and they are modest. Also good is Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich which is not about getting rich but is about your mindset.

Third, I asked for advice. This is hard to do, and in my life I did it sparingly. I wish I had done it more and earlier. Realize that when you ask someone for their advice, it is very flattering to them. So don't be so reluctant. Even if they don't have any advice to offer, you make an ally of the person you ask.

Finally, I volunteered. I stumbled into this and never anticipated the benefits. When I was in high school, they forced us to do community service and I viewed it as forced, free labor. When I gave voluntarily, I got so much more out of it. I got to see things from a new perspective. I also was an example for my son and several of his friends. I also honed my leadership and communication skills. There were huge, positive ripple effects from my service. But none of it was ego driven, it was all behind the scenes, unexpected. As an aside, Tucker Max wrote a book about finding a lifelong partner called Mate and he recommends volunteering as a way to meet women. He said he was cleaning up volunteering at the Humane Society. I didn't read the book so I can't recommend it but I did listen to a podcast interview of him describing the book.

Post: #17

^I have thought about finding a potential wife through volunteering at homeless outreach organizations. Unfortunately, I can’t help but feel that volunteering alone does not make that person good. who knows if that girl has ulterior motives to find a certain kind of man? Who knows what she does the other days of the week?

Perhaps game has made me cynical, but I just feel like it’s hard to know a good girl when I see one. And I haven’t even really had my heart broken!

Edit: If I volunteer with the intent of finding a wife, what is stopping a woman from volunteering with the intent of finding a husband? Two people playing a game of virtue signalling when really they just wanna fuck...seems twisted to me.

Post: #18

(10-26-2018 05:55 AM)BasketBounce Wrote:  ^I have thought about finding a potential wife through volunteering at homeless outreach organizations. Unfortunately, I can’t help but feel that volunteering alone does not make that person good. who knows if that girl has ulterior motives to find a certain kind of man? Who knows what she does the other days of the week?

Perhaps game has made me cynical, but I just feel like it’s hard to know a good girl when I see one. And I haven’t even really had my heart broken!

Edit: If I volunteer with the intent of finding a wife, what is stopping a woman from volunteering with the intent of finding a husband? Two people playing a game of virtue signalling when really they just wanna fuck...seems twisted to me.

Ulterior motives might be the least of your concerns when it comes to volunteering. Recent post from another thread:

(10-25-2018 06:53 PM)Robert High Hawk Wrote:  

(09-27-2018 11:41 AM)chicane Wrote:  

(09-27-2018 11:23 AM)Jetset Wrote:  Volunteering and other charity events are gold, as long as you don't let it start to look like you don't have anything better to do. Botanical gardens, galas, art walks, etc.

If you have a nice place to live and a channel to network with a political candidate and offering to host a meeting for his campaign. I worked on a congressional campaign once and had married voters, their daughters, donors' wives, everybody coming on to me. It was ridiculous.

No, they aren't. They are full of feminists, soyboys, SJWs, self hating white people, LGBTQP freaks and a lot of other people who despise straight white males, particularly those of us who are unapologetic about it. 35 years ago it was great. 15 years ago it was tolerable. Today it is a fucking nightmare.

100% my brother. I happened to stumble upon an animal shelter charity event at an outdoor restaurant/cafe. Total fatties and unsexies there. When I was in college waayyyy back when, there were plenty of lovely girls you could meet volunteering. At least from my observations today, that is not the case.

I suspect it's because we've become so polarized as a society, that charitable endevours have been usurped by the hardcore lefties. Also we've become much more narcissistic as a society, so those that DO volunteer are more virtue signaling about it, and the others are too obsessed with themselves to really want to sacrifice anything (such as time) for others - I mean it's way easier to just press the "like" button on an emotionally moving video about a charity than actually spend time on one.

Post: #19

(10-19-2018 08:16 PM)TheFinalEpic Wrote:  In every single way.

I'm healthier. I am stronger, both physically and mentally.

I have better relationships because I have an abundance mentality: I cut off those that aren't worth it, and I keep a circle of amazing people around me.

This makes me happier. I am more confident.

I'm wealthier, and continue to make more money yearly due to the fear of rejection being completely eliminated from my inner being.

I can help others, and help them to realize their potential.

I can go anywhere in the world and not be lonely, because i know that a new friend or a new love is one word away.

I travel more, and have experienced more, and continue to have amazing experiences.

I am learning constantly, I don't go a day without wonder, and learning something new.

I am a better man:

I will be able to raise a son as a son, a daughter as a daughter.

I will be able to keep a wife when the time comes, because I know how to handle women.

I am the prize, any person is lucky to be around me, to have me as a friend, or as a lover.

I have vision for my life. I have purpose. I wake up every day with a smile.

I don't worry about little things, there is seldom a time you can get a rise out of me. Things are what they are, and what I can control, I control. What I cannot control, I don't let bother me.

I don't live with regrets.

I've learned to love life, and all that comes with it.

How did bettering myself improve my life? It saved my life. I am not the best I can be, I realize that every day is an opportunity to be better than yesterday's me. I will never be the best version of myself, because you don't stop growing until you pass on. I believe that I can achieve what I set out to do because where I was 5 years ago was a completely different man. I won't even be the same man tomorrow. If that doesn't make you feel powerful, I don't know what will.

Man, this was so inspiring. I feel the same way.
Leaving behind the small things, improving yourself mentally and physically, choosing better the people you sorround yourself,and in general making yourself a better man gives you the best feeling of satisfaction than any bang could give you.

Choosing life and choosing your own path with confidence will take you places, will open the doors and , of course, will open some legs.

Post: #20

Powerful replies throughout the thread and I am so happy I decided to bump it instead of folding.

I've had yet another epiphany lately about just how easy it is, mentally at least, to give into blue pill society and popular media. Here I am and I find myself giving in time and time again in regards to game, age and what comes for life as a single guy who is no longer young and in a school setting. Yet this is what not just me but most of us guys are taught and have thrown in our face time and time again, it even happens on here as I think that the college worship and college hype is abnormally unreal.

The more I think in terms of society the more it all makes sense and BlueMark's response was a real eye-opener. It is so easy to get sucked in and I have been facing that despite having taken the red pill in my opinion.

Here I am having a great deal of things going well for me yet some days I despair in regards to the future. I don't want to get married or even get into an LTR for the intimacy of it but I wonder just how much of an outcast it would make me because of the guys I see who are single after 30 are either bitter old dudes with not much going for them, MGTOW neckbeards that I would not want to be anything like and then the rare Dan Bilzerian.

But as other posters have said, it is hard for men who have made it past the age of 30 and live the life some of us idolize because they have to keep a low profile. I feel as if maybe such men are targets seeing what has happened to Roosh or maybe such men can't openly express their lifestyle as a bitter old cuck that got married and has kids that hate his guts.

This realization is a powerful one that maybe the guys out there living the life I idolize and dream of are the ones who are the least showy about it, except for Dan Bilzerian though, mad respect to that dude as much as some forum members hate him for their own reasons.

Post: #21

You are wasting your time if you think that anyone will approve of the player lifestyle. You are obviously caught in the middle and don't know where to turn. No one here can give you the answer you are looking for; you have to figure that out for your self.

Post: #22

@TheFinalEpic - How did you get to that mentality though? In my experience to gain such mentality in an area you can't just assume a mentality, you need to have had experiences that led you to having such a mentality.

(10-27-2018 09:51 PM)a beer is enough Wrote:  the guys I see who are single after 30 are either bitter old dudes with not much going for them, MGTOW neckbeards that I would not want to be anything like and then the rare Dan Bilzerian.

I think if you're not earning decent money by thirty then you should probably think about settling down. If you're attractive and have funds (I think most guys can be a 7.5 with fitness and a wardrobe) then you have little to worry about. There will always be some availability of women in your own country; and in terms of the usual destinations you will be able to pick something nice up without too much trouble whatever age you are.

I am just post thirty and about half of my social circle is married or as good as. One guy I know has turned 33 and he's really fucked - poor genetics, deep blue pill, soy-based mentality, receding hairline, growing belly and tits, currently no career path. If I try and drop anything in about the parameters of the game he gets upset. He'd rather live in the constructs of how he'd like the world to be, rather than how it actually is. And he's well on the way to ending up with a post-wall with kids and thinking it's a sweet deal.

***

As for bettering yourself, at the moment I'm working on Jordan Peterson's Self Authoring program. The first part of this is to write about 15,000 words about key experiences of your life and then analyse them. I didn't find that was enough words. So I've been writing out my entire life, which will be about 100,000 words in total. This had included lots of things I'd rather not think about, embarrassing things and things I thought were of little significance. When it's all put together you start to notice patterns. So far I've had three major epiphanies as to why I have turned out as I have.

I've thought of various experiences and thoughts from my past often, but it was only by writing them all down that I've been able to make any sense of them.

To give you an idea, if you ask someone, "Why do you like the music you like?"

They will probably answer something like, "I like it. It resonated with me." That doesn't tell you any more than you already knew. I find people can't give any meaningful answer to this question. It's just fluff.

But after doing this I can tell you why, on a very deep level, I liked the various types of music I've liked at various points in my life.

Undertaking this will help you better understand who you really are and shave away your false perceptions and willing blind spots.

This is the first part of self-improvement. Seeing who you are and then working from there.

It's relatively easy to have a red-pill view of the world, to see it for what it really is. But to view your self through the red-pill lens means honestly looking at the parts of yourself you don't like or would rather ignore.

The reason I'm doing this is because it's a precursor of the next stage, which is planning for my future. I've been formulating a rough outline of what I will do from next year, which will be a big leap and I have a mental block against doing it. I'm working on trying to fit my real shape into a planned future.

***

To do this:

1) divide your life into eras and period within them
2) start writing down your life, including that which you think isn't that important; 70% of what I've written is not important, but if I wasn't writing down everything I'd have missed out 70% of what most important
3) also keep two files to note down realisations and things you want to write about that come to mind that are in a different period - you will forget them otherwise
4) go through everything analysing what you were trying to trying to do and how it affected you

Post: #23

(10-28-2018 12:48 AM)Conquistador Wrote:  You are wasting your time if you think that anyone will approve of the player lifestyle. You are obviously caught in the middle and don't know where to turn. No one here can give you the answer you are looking for; you have to figure that out for your self.

If you are seeking approval for anything you do, you're doing it for the wrong reasons. Why do you care what others think should be the real question. Why are you in a position to try to please others?

If people care about this sort of thing, they weren't your friend in the grander scheme of things. Society by and large doesn't approve of masculine endeavors. Do you think that's going to stop a man from going where he wants to go, doing what he wants to do, and building the life that he truly wants?

Post: #24

Are you really a chubby chaser? Which apps do you use? What is your notch count?

Post: #25

(10-28-2018 05:13 AM)gework Wrote:  @TheFinalEpic - How did you get to that mentality though? In my experience to gain such mentality in an area you can't just assume a mentality, you need to have had experiences that led you to having such a mentality.

Of course, I was not born with this mentality, but circumstances in life teach you what truly matters, and how you can grow from each and everything you've been through. For me, the realization came when I knew that I was dying everyday of my life. I am the youngest I will ever be today, and one day, all of this will cease to exist.

So, what's stopping me from becoming who I envision myself to be?

The only thing a man can be is better than his previous self. I no longer compare myself to others, and I don't think small, because the world is an abundant, amazing place. Most people don't really exist to me anymore, I don't care about the opinions of people that haven't lived, or aren't truly living. Living comes from experience, and not being a slave to anyone or anything. You build whatever reality you want to live in. I don't live in a reality of bad people, constant worry, or a darkness that media outlets would have you believe is the "real world". I go outside and the sun is shining and birds are chirping. I have happiness in my life because I have chosen happiness.

Others come and go throughout my life, if they want to be a part of it, they have to make my life better in some way shape or form (if only it is that I enjoy their energy and company). There are plenty of amazing people out there, you just have to meet A LOT of people. Everyone puts on a mask as to who they are, and it is your job to take that mask off, find out what value they provide to your life, and then make a decision if they stay or go. Most people aren't worth your exceptionally valuable time. Most will suck your energy from you, create problems where there aren't any, and rain on a beautiful day simply because they haven't chosen to see light, they've chosen darkness in all things.

I used to be one of these people. Worried about the world, seeing the bad in everyone, and being a cynic about everything. That's a sad way to go through life, man. And the vast majority will go through life like this; they will look at why they cannot do something, instead of seeing the possibilities. They will be worried about dying in an airplane crash, when they forget we all die at one time or another. They think their best years are behind them, in the "glory days of highschool", and that everything is an uphill battle.

The common theme among the people that are in my life is that they believe things can be better. They may be a millionaire already, but they are still pushing for tomorrow. They may already by happy, but they continue to do things that make them happy. They continue to grow in all ways. Stagnation is what makes people depressed, not moving towards the person they can and should be will make them feel terrible.

This means that my pursuits are now fully for my enjoyment, and for creating a legacy that will outlive me. I don't have to waste time on petty things. I don't keep people around that don't make me happy. I don't do things that make me unhappy. I am living for me, and to help others. I work harder and longer than I ever have, and I have less stress than ever before (none at all). I get stressed when I am not becoming the man I can be, I feel amazing when I accomplish things that I set out to do.

And anyone can do this. It's a simple shift in mentality.

"Outside of getting laid..." Is this your only purpose in life? Do you not take pride in who you are as a human being? Do you not have ambitions, dreams, and a vision for what tomorrow can be? I don't get this question to be frank; after you've had sex with a couple dozen women, you realize that the process is replicable, and that the pursuit is hedonic in nature. You'll always want another girl, better than the last, it's how human nature works. So, you become a better man, and get the "better" girls. But in the process, you see who you can become, and that's awesomely powerful. You live a better life, have better experiences, and help others to become stronger versions of themselves. All of a sudden, you're changing the world around you and creating light where there used to be darkness. All because you wanted to get laid as a young man.