Post: #1

Interested in hearing anecdotal evidence.

I've read numerous studies which reveal that many women have rape fantasies. I've personally come across a few women who have asked me to do some crazyish stuff (tying them up, spitting on them etc.).

I think i'm relatively vanilla in my tastes and desires (apart from breaking standard convention on liking skinny women) so I am curious if my performance in the bedroom may not be fulfilling all womens sexual desires.

I'd harbor a guess that most women have fantasies that they just don't vocalize.

Do you ever ask the women what their fantasies are?

Post: #2

I do a lot of BDSM and in my experience only about 20% of women have strong kinky fantasies. Best predictor of kinky is Openness To Experience and to a lesser extent Introversion. Also. women get less and less kinky with age.

80% of women are perfectly happy with Vanilla sex, but they will accept and even often enjoy mild things like spanking, pulling hair, handcuffs etc... so it’s worth introducing them in your game for variety. For example I have a Vanilla plate and I give her a BDSM training once in a while to punish her for something or other.

Also note that kinky doesn’t necessary mean masochist. Some kinky women dislike pain and some not-kinky women like pain (the latter is rare though).

Post: #3

Girls think about sex just like guys do or more than us.


Women have fantasies, ESPECIALLY with the introduction of the book/movie 50 Shades of Grey.

Women rarely vocalize it, so you have to feel a woman out during the numerous times you bang her.


There's a few tiers and guys all have different definitions of bdsm/kinky

I think these are kind of standard levels with grey areas:

Tier 1 "Standard Play":
-Getting their ass slapped so red
-Choking
-Slapping their face
-Cumming on their face (or wherever)
-Anal
-Lingerie

Tier 2 "Early Adventure"
-Using cuffs on a girl
-Bed restraints
-Using a whip
-Using female toys on her that you own
-Harder slapping, possible bruising on the ass (or something similar)
-Threesomes
-Punishment

Tier 3 "The great beyond"
-Using ball gags
-Using leashes
-Latex suits (or restrictive outfits)
-Master/slave (relations)
-Daddy Dom/Little girl (relations)
-Using additional pain techniques (ex nipple clamps)
-Introducing a third (female unicorn) (relations)
-Introduction to more toys and bdsm tools of the trade


Now that that's out of the way.

Montrose is right kinky girls are mixed, some do enjoy light pain, others do not.

Only a few of the girls I've had these sort of relations with like more than the average pain.

Most want the kinky side of being dominated and feeling sexy and some light pain.

Most girls girls sit in Tier 1 with a few features from Tier 2, occasionally you'll find that wild and out girl all about Tier 3.



Slowly introduce and escalate things you'd like to do to her, occasionally voicing it in post sex bliss and see how she reacts.

You can feel out girls for most the stuff in Tier 1, Tier 2 might take some vocalization but mostly during sex, Tier 3 usually requires more trust and more vocalization of the stuff you do together.


It's a mans job to bring a girls inner hoe/bdsm girl out - doesn't matter if she's a fuck buddy or an LTR - she'll thank you for satisfying her deepest desires/needs without having to ask you, instead you showed her a whole new world and she'll come back for more.

Post: #4

Let’s say you meet a girl who has her own toys and is experienced with tiered 3. Would you ever use her own toys on her? Or toys bought for her by other men?

Post: #5

(09-13-2018 11:42 AM)ballsyamog Wrote:  Let’s say you meet a girl who has her own toys and is experienced with tiered 3. Would you ever use her own toys on her? Or toys bought for her by other men?

Absolutely.

You should absolutely use the toys she has on her, you should absolutely she be making her cum multiple times, hopefully squirt, then proceed to fuck the absolute shit out of her.

One of my plates has plugs, cuffs, and a few vibrators.

We use them all them all the time to make her cum a few times before I fuck her.

I think I know what you're getting at here.

And no, you aren't a cuck or beta for using her own toys or toys another guy bought for her to get her and then fuck her. (if that's what you're getting at)

That's like asking, would you ever let a girl wear lingerie that she bought for herself or another guy bought her. Of course you'd let her rock that right before you took it off and fucked her.

Post: #6

I live in a more conservative society than you American guys, but in my experience, most of the girls won't complain (heh) to Kaotic's Tier 1 "standard play", and a decent percent will enjoy it.

I'd say only about 10-20% of girls here would want Tier 2, you would come off as perverse and strange to others; and as of Tier 3, maybe 1% . It's not even about (not) being kinky, it's about Slav mentality. If you asked my average countryman (or countryperson, it's more inclusive) about it, they would say things like "why?", "decadency", "why complicate and use ropes and cuffs, tie my hands with your belt and fuck me". We simply aren't on that level yet.

I've been with more than several girls whom I fucked hard, Tier1/2, but when we talked about extreme things, comments would usually be like "Latex suits? That's just nasty and strange. Ew."

Gee, I know what my older buddies or dad would say - something along the lines of: "if you need vibrators and leashes to make her happy, you're not a real man". Just whisky and doggie style and pound that pussy, man.

Really, I think sex is being dehumanised, it's about people, not about gadgets. There is nothing wrong with brutally fucking a girl, spanking, biting and pulling her hair - you're supposed to do it. However, things like ball gags, daddy/daughter, latex suits are just over the top in my opinion. You know why you're turned on by them? It's because of fucking porn.

I've read some studies about why Westerners are obsessed with kinkier stuff - Tier 3, incest, interracial, threesomes etc. It's because you've been so saturated and overwhelmed with regular porn that your brains are no longer stimulated by it, instead you must find new, taboo stuff because new things excite your brain. If you tell any Slav that you like watching incest porn, he'll ask what the hell is wrong with you...

Hell, if I fucked any Slavic girl and told her to call me daddy, she would also ask what the fuck is wrong with me, because it would also sound very paedo and creepy in my language. No one plays the daddy/girl game here, it just sounds wrong - HOWEVER, girls here play the domination game in other ways, and ask you "is that all you can do, tough guy?", when you start fucking her hard followed by "oh yeah boss", "I'm all yours", etc. Cultural differences, eh.

Additional anecdotal evidence... you know who likes cock the most?
Feminists, leftists and "good" girls.

Post: #7

(09-13-2018 01:28 PM)BlackHussar Wrote:  Really, I think sex is being dehumanised, it's about people, not about gadgets. There is nothing wrong with brutally fucking a girl, spanking, biting and pulling her hair - you're supposed to do it. However, things like ball gags, daddy/daughter, latex suits are just over the top in my opinion. You know why you're turned on by them? It's because of fucking porn.

I 100% agree with you here brother.

Porn is dehumanizing us, it's putting us into categories, and rewiring our brain sexually.

Girls are surprised to learn I don't watch porn or jack off.

They have an "Aha!" moment and realize why I don't, after we're laying there after we have sex. Because it's intense, fun, high energy, and more intimate.

I'm more nurturing and loving post sex and I always want to make a women feel like a sexy goddess to my sex god self.

Tier 2 and 3 aren't necessary, but a man should know how far they can take it with women.

You should be able to put that dick down on a girl, along with your hands and tongue. She should be satisfied with that, but sometimes it isn't enough.

Post: #8

I believe most women want at least the Tier 1 kinky stuff, but I'm finding that more and more younger women (college-age) are already into Tier 2/3.

(09-13-2018 11:42 AM)ballsyamog Wrote:  Let’s say you meet a girl who has her own toys and is experienced with tiered 3. Would you ever use her own toys on her? Or toys bought for her by other men?

If she's experienced with Tier 3 she'll probably want you to use her own toys on her anyway because of hygiene.

Post: #9

I think sex has a visceral aspect (the immediate physical sensations) and more of an emotional aspect (the cuddle hormones). The physical tends to be used to compensate for the lack of the emotional. So I really think of the kinky/gonzo stuff as a symptom of increasingly depersonalized sex in which the partner disappears and only the actions have meaning. I can understand the ritualistic/symbolic aspects but overall it just doesn't appeal to me.

Post: #10

I want nothing to do with a woman that is that mentally fucked that she "enjoys" being spat on her face or choked during sex.

Those sorts of things are the opposite of what I like to do during sex.

Post: #11

(09-13-2018 05:15 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I want nothing to do with a woman that is that mentally fucked that she "enjoys" being spat on her face or choked during sex.

Those sorts of things are the opposite of what I like to do during sex.

You can screen girls all you want but vanilla sex can get boring faster for a woman than a man.

Ever notice dudes complain more about not getting as laid as often when they're married or in an LTR?

So do you write off sex all together because isn't feeling it?

Sure you can spice things up with lingerie, but that only works for awhile..



So what happens when your wife or LTR wants to explore more stuff? AKA "Spice things up!"

"Drop her bro, don't be beta?"™

It's not all black and white.

I can understand a girl getting spat/shit/pissed on, that's another Tier of domination. Usually you can see that from long ways away.

Post: #12

My dream is to get me some sex slave, the more I approached this goal the more horny I was on a daily basis but I never asked women I banged if they wanted to be my sex slave, that's stupid to even think about it.

The nearest I got to this was when I endorsed a particular demeanor that she was receptive to but vocalizing this is the best way to kill the envy in the woman.

Women need to be deconstructed, rebuilt and then led, not to be asked about some fantasies she think she would like because she saw it on tv or on internet.

And the last thing is never believe those studies, they should never be taken as proof even if "true"...

Post: #13

I think women crave dominance universally, and to a less universal extent crave bdsm.

You should look for ways to be dominant, assert your authority. Small things matter. Telling her what to wear for you, where you are taking her, what you want her to do to you, etc. When I meet a woman on a date, I hug her and litterally sweep her off her feet. Its just a few inches, its momentary, but she feels my strength. I then look at her, smile, tell her to turn around, and compliment her on what she wore for me. Women spend an hour getting ready, and its partly for themselves and partly for you. You can claim that she did it all to please you, and then reward her for her efforts. It starts a compliance frame.

But you have to build some trust with most women before you being bdsm. Its going to depend on her prior experiences, her openness to new things, her trust/attraction to you. Perhaps counterintuitively, there is a positive correlation with education and intelligence.

Post: #14

(09-13-2018 05:15 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I want nothing to do with a woman that is that mentally fucked that she "enjoys" being spat on her face or choked during sex.

Those sorts of things are the opposite of what I like to do during sex.

Yep, there were a few of those "tier 1" things I really don't find at all sexy to do to a girl. Spitting wasn't on the list (that would probably be the worst of them), but choking and slapping I really don't consider particularly light kink.

Meanwhile cuffs, other light restraints and maybe a few toys seem much lighter on that scale to me and certainly for some of the girls I've tried that with, than being slapped and choked. The former is light play - and can be quite a turn on - the latter is light violence (which I'm obviously not denying a decent portion of girls might enjoy, but it's certainly a step up in brutality from cuffs and a dildo).

Post: #15

(09-13-2018 05:15 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I want nothing to do with a woman that is that mentally fucked that she "enjoys" being spat on her face or choked during sex.

Those sorts of things are the opposite of what I like to do during sex.

How would you even know though if you arent doing it? Most women dont ask for this to be done to them, them having to ask ruins the point of it. Plus many girls dont realize they love something until it's done to them.

Post: #16

(09-13-2018 07:21 PM)Repo Wrote:  

(09-13-2018 05:15 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I want nothing to do with a woman that is that mentally fucked that she "enjoys" being spat on her face or choked during sex.

Those sorts of things are the opposite of what I like to do during sex.

How would you even know though if you arent doing it? Most women dont ask for this to be done to them, them having to ask ruins the point of it. Plus many girls dont realize they love something until it's done to them.

Same argument could be made for a cleveland steamer session.

If you and the woman are into that shit (heh literally) then go for it, but I am not having that, or a woman that's into that shit in my bed.

Post: #17

(09-13-2018 08:14 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

(09-13-2018 07:21 PM)Repo Wrote:  

(09-13-2018 05:15 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I want nothing to do with a woman that is that mentally fucked that she "enjoys" being spat on her face or choked during sex.

Those sorts of things are the opposite of what I like to do during sex.

How would you even know though if you arent doing it? Most women dont ask for this to be done to them, them having to ask ruins the point of it. Plus many girls dont realize they love something until it's done to them.

Same argument could be made for a cleveland steamer session.

If you and the woman are into that shit (heh literally) then go for it, but I am not having that, or a woman that's into that shit in my bed.

Well I guess thats possible, but as I'm sure most guys who are into choking will tell you, virtually all women love that shit if its introduced right. Its been over a decade since I've had a girl not like it when I choked her.

Post: #18

(09-13-2018 08:14 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

(09-13-2018 07:21 PM)Repo Wrote:  

(09-13-2018 05:15 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I want nothing to do with a woman that is that mentally fucked that she "enjoys" being spat on her face or choked during sex.

Those sorts of things are the opposite of what I like to do during sex.

How would you even know though if you arent doing it? Most women dont ask for this to be done to them, them having to ask ruins the point of it. Plus many girls dont realize they love something until it's done to them.

Same argument could be made for a cleveland steamer session.

If you and the woman are into that shit (heh literally) then go for it, but I am not having that, or a woman that's into that shit in my bed.

Every girl is a slut for the right guy. You may not be choking her or spitting on her face, but I assure you she has had guys in the past who did and will have guys after you who will.

Post: #19

(09-13-2018 12:31 PM)kaotic Wrote:  

(09-13-2018 11:42 AM)ballsyamog Wrote:  Let’s say you meet a girl who has her own toys and is experienced with tiered 3. Would you ever use her own toys on her? Or toys bought for her by other men?

Absolutely.

You should absolutely use the toys she has on her, you should absolutely she be making her cum multiple times, hopefully squirt, then proceed to fuck the absolute shit out of her.

One of my plates has plugs, cuffs, and a few vibrators.

We use them all them all the time to make her cum a few times before I fuck her.

I think I know what you're getting at here.

And no, you aren't a cuck or beta for using her own toys or toys another guy bought for her to get her and then fuck her. (if that's what you're getting at)

That's like asking, would you ever let a girl wear lingerie that she bought for herself or another guy bought her. Of course you'd let her rock that right before you took it off and fucked her.

Yeah that makes sense, seem to be attracting a few girls that are into these

Post: #20

Thanks guys: that post on tiers is very helpful and makes a lot of sense.

The first tier is more or less what I was referring to. I made it to age 26 without knowing that women prefer more dominating men in the bedroom. I'm 32 now and still haven't ever gone out my way to improve. I just pin them down sometimes or slap their ass because it feels good.

Any more tips on basic domination in the bedroom? Anything you find that drives them wild?

Post: #21

Be physically imposing. Be intellectually dominating. Have a strong will and urge to subjugate.

Like how most people discover game they figure out some tricks, but the key is congruence and lifestyle. The difference from being a magician and a wizard. Houdini and Tesla.

Why do women like these things? Because it's a hormonal/bio/ambitionary indicator of superiority. It subjugates them and shows them their place. Shows them who they are and where they belong in a life of uncertainty and insecurity.

When youre choking a girl, slamming her pussy, telling her to beg for your cum right after spitting in her mouth and slapping her demanding she orgasm she knows her place. She knows at least that moment in time that she belongs to you, her place is as a sperm incubator for you, her insecurities are validated, and her worries are insignificant.

To the uninitiated amongst us that may seem bizarre, misogynistic, or outlandishly kinky. But every piece of evidence relating to our evolution and evolutionary psychology points that direction. The women that didn't crave that died. Along with their children and their blood line. Go ahead and get close to a woman that trusts you beyond shame and rationalization, try secret society game even she will admit it

The vast majority of women crave this shit. Beyond extremely isolated bloodlines and insular societies knowing little war, hardship, or strife which is the driving force of evolution and from which few are exempt.

Post: #22

I think today it's getting more common because women need a bigger dose of masculinity to feel polarity. Romantic sex comes in a high buy in relationship.

Post: #23

(09-14-2018 03:26 AM)Rorogue Wrote:  I think today it's getting more common because women need a bigger dose of masculinity to feel polarity. Romantic sex comes in a high buy in relationship.

If women are only tinder-swiping and fucking Chad they are already getting their share of choking and slapping and hair-pulling already. The need to "level up" the aggression is then a symptom of the hedonic treadmill. What they're not getting is romantic sex, and odds are they've never experienced it.

I don't see the point of applying all this game and then, when you get to the bedroom, play through a rote script that you don't enjoy. The sex is the payoff and it should be the flavor that you enjoy...otherwise why bother?

Sexual compatibility is a thing. It's not a man's role to tailor his sexual style to what women prefer to the point of not enjoying it anymore. The main impediment in getting women off is knowledge of female biology but the path of least resistance for guys who lack that knowledge and finesse is to just jackhammer the shit out of her. I think that has a lot to do with women wanting it hard. It's not just "dominance". It's because they need the peripheral stimulation since regular PIV sensations are mild at best compared to men.

Cosmo magazine aside, women gravitate towards whatever works best via a lot of dumb trial and error, and more often than not, they've built up a set of false assumptions along the way.

If you want to make an impact rather than just being filed as another Chad, show you know more than she does about her own body.

Post: #24

(09-14-2018 09:31 AM)questor70 Wrote:  If women are only tinder-swiping and fucking Chad they are already getting their share of choking and slapping and hair-pulling already. The need to "level up" the aggression is then a symptom of the hedonic treadmill. What they're not getting is romantic sex, and odds are they've never experienced it.

Hey, it's entirely possible to choke the stupid out of some broad, romantically.

Post: #25

I think that probably all women enjoy the show of the force by pulling hair, spanking or choking.

Recently I was with a girl and she said she wants me to be rude to her, so I did thinks as usually (mentioned above) and after that she told me she meaned something more (more rude). She said that if I am doing MMA, I should do it to her. Does she wants me to knock her out, break her arm or dislocate her ankle... or what?