Post: #101

(09-23-2017 09:57 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  Here's a great example of the sort of puzzle I rarely encounter in gaming anymore, because the solution isn't based on pulling levers, physics, or moving blocks. It's assumes that by this far into the game, the player will recognise how Lara moves in a clockwork, almost mathematical manner.



I think the designer overestimated the audience there. It sounds like most players get stuck, so do what I did the first time I played it: burn through their medipacks until they can pick up the needed Lead Bar and jump into the water to put the fire out.

The second time, I sat down and figured it out. All you have to do is start in the right place, and never let go of the Jump and Forward keys. She'll do her runs and leaps in a predictable order and make it just in time.

Did anyone ever figure out a way past the Lightning Ball in the 'Thor' room in 'Saint Francis' Folly'? I could never identify any solution to that other than taking a severe health hit each way.

Funny you mention this, I bought the original trilogy on GOG.com, and I'm up to the third installment right now. It amazes me how fresh and fun and immersive the first game is to this day, and how levels are well crafted and interesting, despite the outdated graphics. This time around I actually did manage to grab the lead bar without medpacks. As for the Thor room, just keep to the edge of the room and jump over the silver tile and you shouldn't take any damage.

Post: #102

(09-23-2017 09:57 PM)AnonymousBosch Wrote:  Here's a great example of the sort of puzzle I rarely encounter in gaming anymore, because the solution isn't based on pulling levers, physics, or moving blocks. It's assumes that by this far into the game, the player will recognise how Lara moves in a clockwork, almost mathematical manner.



I think the designer overestimated the audience there. It sounds like most players get stuck, so do what I did the first time I played it: burn through their medipacks until they can pick up the needed Lead Bar and jump into the water to put the fire out.

The second time, I sat down and figured it out. All you have to do is start in the right place, and never let go of the Jump and Forward keys. She'll do her runs and leaps in a predictable order and make it just in time.

Did anyone ever figure out a way past the Lightning Ball in the 'Thor' room in 'Saint Francis' Folly'? I could never identify any solution to that other than taking a severe health hit each way.

I wasn't able to solve this particular puzzle but I did figure out the Thor room. If you watch the lightning ball, it fires in a particular pattern. If you jump to the left or right then jump forward into the next room (following the pattern, and without stopping), you won't get hit.

Like how the torch puzzle relied on the players noticing that the game had grid-based movement where your jumps would always work if you did them in the right spot, this puzzle relies on the players noticing that Lara moves faster when she's jumping instead of running.

Honestly, I wasn't a huge fan of Tomb Raider when it came out (never played the sequels), mainly due to the awful controls. I always thought the grid-based movement was a band-aid by the developers to hide the fact that they couldn't design Lara to move with any more precision than a tank. I also hated the "crystal" save system, where you could only save twice or three times per level (though from what I know, the PC version lets you save wherever you want).

In hindsight, though, you're right. Tomb Raider was pretty revolutionary and the absence of games like it today speaks to a generational shift in mass media. The idea of quietly, patiently exploring an unknown area, fighting off the occasional enemies and solving puzzles with no more hints then contextual environmental clues that you should be paying attention to anyway is anathema to kids these days, who just want to press X to win.

I first noticed this shift ten years ago when BioShock was released. The System Shock games were the epitome of nineties exploration gaming: you're cast into a hostile environment full of creatures that want to kill you and you need to solve puzzles, gather equipment, and explore your surroundings to win. It took me forever to beat System Shock 2 on normal difficulty because hoarding ammo and medipacks was essential, as was spending your cybernetic modules wisely: screw up and it's back to the beginning. And even though it was hard as hell, I loved exploring every nook and cranny of the Von Braun, looting corpses, finding hidden weapon caches and hacking vending machines for discounts.

When I first fired up BioShock and went to the options menu, there was an option to make plot-critical items glow brightly, as well as an option that would show an arrow on your HUD telling you where to go for your next objective.

"What the hell?" I thought. "Who needs an arrow to tell them where to go or flashing highlighters for stuff you're supposed to pick up? You're supposed to figure all that out yourself."

Alas, every game of that type has both those features now and you can't turn them off. Couple that with smaller environments (what's the point of all this advanced graphics technology if it can't make areas as big and varied as the Engineering level of System Shock 2?), no RPG elements, and a bogus moral choice system that was completely broken (if you save Little Sisters instead of harvesting them, you end up getting more ADAM, defeating the point of taking the virtuous route), and you have the modern game in a nutshell.

Or take Deus Ex: Human Revolution. The original Deus Ex: again, an open-ended game about exploring large, expansive environments and dealing with enemies. Human Revolution? It has an instant takedown "press X to win" button. Now, instead of methodically sneaking up on your enemies to conk them out with a crowbar or baton, which requires actual skill, you merely get within B.O. sniffing distance and let the game do the work for you.

I watched a YouTube video of Tomb Raider: Anniversary and even that game, released in 2006, exhibits the problems of modern gaming. The original game had a bare bones plot that didn't make much sense (e.g. why would Natla betray Lara over the Scion?), but no one cared because it was confined to between-mission cutscenes that were short.

The remake shoves cutscene after cutscene of contrived plot in your face, complete with quick-time Simon Says button presses and boring dialogue. Previously quiet moments of revelation and horror in the original game (such as encountering the T-Rex in the Peru levels) are turned into cutscenes that sap the joy of discovery and replace with it mere spectating. Even Lara destroying the Scion and causing Atlantis to self-destruct is turned into a cutscene in which the player has no input. The gameplay itself is less about exploration and more about Prince of Persia-style jumping around.

This seems to be part of the pathology of millennials in general. Not only do they have no curiosity about life, they don't even have curiosity when it comes to hobbies. They don't want to explore, discover, and learn on their own: they want to be spoon-fed and given participation trophies. Note the insipid rise of Steam Achievements and the like around 2007 as well, as well as the fact that they've been retrofitted into rereleases of older games. They can't even experiment with juggling gas canisters with the Gravity Gun in Half-Life 2 without getting a pat on the head for it.

As for the Tomb Raider movie, when the first one came out, I snuck into it with a couple of friends after going to see another movie (which I can't even remember, that's how irrelevant and forgettable it was). I'd have forgotten Tomb Raider too had it not been for something hilarious.

At the beginning of the movie, there's a shower scene with Angelina Jolie. About midway through the movie, there's another shower scene. The camera starts out at the top of the stall, slowly pans down... and it's a man.

At the sight of this, some guy in the audience yelled out, "Ew, gross!" and the entire theater groaned in disgust.

Now that was funny.

Post: #103

(09-28-2017 01:19 PM)FilipSRB Wrote:  As for the Thor room, just keep to the edge of the room and jump over the silver tile and you shouldn't take any damage.

Thanks. I looked into it based on what you said and just tested it out. Skirting the edge of the room initially works, but jumping over the silver tile usually took damage. From a website: you skirt the room then stand on the edge of the tile with 1 grid between you and the silver floor tile along the wall.



Then hit the Walk + Forward + Jump keys all at once, which triggers the (rarely used for me) Diving Forward Roll, and you don't take any damage. Works on right or left side, going in and coming out.

Amusingly, the players outsmarted the designer, since, according to this interview, there is supposed to be no solution:

Quote:Toby: In the original, the idea of the two sections of the Thor room was, the first one was obviously, [just essentially, kind of, really] basically just a random death machine. So you had this checkered pattern on the floor and [you know] I think you were supposed to be able to tell where the next lightning bold was supposed to come and then try and avoid that area but in reality you just had to run across as fast as you possibly could in case you get fried.

Botta: This is quality design. Random death.

Toby: Random death machine. Do you realize how much time we had?

Post: #104

Coming out soon!

Quote:grossed $14 million worldwide and received mixed reviews, with critics calling it a "derivative bore."

Quote:Rotten Tomatoes, the film holds an approval rating of 52% based on 82 reviews, and an average rating of 5.2/10. The site's critical consensus reads, "Tomb Raider reboots the franchise with a more grounded approach and a star who's clearly more than up to the task -- neither of which are well served by an uninspired origin story." On Metacritic, which assigns normalized rating to reviews, the film has a weighted average score of 47 out of 100, based on 29 critics, indicating "mixed or average reviews"

Post: #105

(09-20-2017 11:35 PM)Sidney Crosby Wrote:  She has a good face and a schnoz that looks good on her but in that picture she looks like a 12 year old boy.

Looked hot in Man from U.N.C.L.E though, good makeup and clothes.

I'm surprised Gal Gadot didn't get this gig.

GOTTA disagree with you on the above Bolded point. Vicander is tiny, and every time Armie Hammer was in a scene with her, showed - painfully, ridiculously.

If Lara Croft doesn't have big tits, she's at least gotta have impressive height - Gal Gadot has both.

Post: #106

I think Vikander is a fine actress but she comes across as too much of a generic tomboy. Sort of a more butch J-Law. Gadot may not have much more of a feminine figure but she comes across as more feminine and exotic because of her egg-shaped head, curved hairline, and expresssive arched eyebrows. She just looks like a star.

I could see Vikander playing a Sarah Connor type but she's just not larger-than-life enough to be Lara Croft.

Post: #107

Screenrant - 2.5/5

Quote:Tomb Raider probably won’t go down as the film that finally broke the video game movie “curse”, but it does show that video game adaptations can make for decent (if disposable) genre entertainment. The movie is lacking in substance, yet it avoids getting bogged down in a convoluted mythology – something that has tripped up other video game adaptations in recent years – and should offer a perfectly enjoyable watch at home, since it’s not necessarily worth a trip to the theater. It remains to be seen if Tomb Raider gets the sequels that it wants, but at least Vikander has proven that she has a future as a credible action hero on the big screen.

https://screenrant.com/tomb-raider-movie-reviews/


FandomWire - A Relic of the Past Best Left in its Sarcophagus

Quote:By the final act, I’d thrown my hands up in confusion or out of sheer exasperation more than I ever have in a theater, and I surely wasn’t alone, as there were multiple scenes met with audience giggles that most definitely weren’t meant to illicit such a reaction.

Tomb Raider is one of those movies that’s so bad that it may find an audience in those looking for laughable B-movie action, but it most definitely won’t find many serious defenders of the material. It’s a film that will equally disappoint general audiences and gamers alike by virtue of how truly unremarkable and gob-smackingly dumb it is. Powerful female lead or not, this one just isn’t a step forward in any way.

Sorry, gamers, but it looks like you’re going to have to wait on that curse being lifted a little longer…

https://fandomwire.com/2018/03/14/tomb-r...rcophagus/


Rolling Stone 2.5/4 (the fuck is a 4 star rating...?)

Quote:Which underlines the overall problem here: No matter how much Uthaug tries to add elements to make this a sleeker model, the movie keeps bumping its head against a ceiling of limitations and expectations. If you make a Tomb Raider film, you have to bring the fun of playing the game with the thrill of watching those exploits transcend the interactive experience. Like most attempts to translate your favorite console-jockey titles to the multiplex, this never figures out how to properly split the difference. Tomb Raider may be a less camp, more cunning take on the arts and Crofts that have made the brand a hit, but to call this a better-than average videogame movie is to damn it with faint praise. Don't hate the players. Hate the genre.

https://www.rollingstone.com/movies/revi...ew-w517292


Hollywood Reporter - Nothing new, except a compelling Vikander.

Quote:When all the one-dimensional supporting characters and familiar action moves fall by the wayside, the one thing left standing is Vikander. Slim and not tall, she doesn't cut the figure of a muscled powerhouse, but here she fully embodies physical tenacity and grit, along with absolute determination not to give in or up. The film strains credulity even for a vid-game fantasy by letting the leading lady recover awfully quickly from bad injuries, but other than that Vikander commands attention and is the element here that makes Tomb Raider sort of watchable.

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/review...ew-1094069


Sounds hollow.
No surprise, as it's a Hollowood production.

Post: #108

Philly Voice triggers feminists for naming the elephant in the room, that Vikander has no fucking boobs...

http://www.phillyvoice.com/tomb-raider-g...ara-croft/

Note the bottom of the article:

Quote:(Editor's Note: This review previously made references to Vikander's appearance in comparison to Angelina Jolie. After consideration, we have removed that mention.)

Gutless fucks. Here's what the original article said:

Quote:“Vikander’s appearance is also markedly different than Jolie’s. She never comes across as having an ounce of sex appeal and, at times, looks like she could be 16,” Maida wrote in his withering review of the film.
“Toss in the lack of curves and Warner Brothers could have decided to gender bend and make a film titled “Luke Croft” — and it would have come across the same way. They would not have had to change the script at all. Such interchangeability is not exactly empowering for women.”

God save us from people who mean well. -storm

Post: #109

Lara Croft should have the body of a gymnast or ice skater. Same goes for Gal Gadot. I know her character is a goddess, but come on. I couldn’t take Batman seriously if he had the frame of Michael Cera or Aziiz Ansari.

Post: #110

This is all just the next step towards Tranny Tomb Raider...

Post: #111

(03-16-2018 05:17 AM)CynicalContrarian Wrote:  This is all just the next step towards Tranny Tomb Raider...

You mean "Testosterone raider".

Post: #112

(03-16-2018 05:17 AM)CynicalContrarian Wrote:  This is all just the next step towards Tranny Tomb Raider...

The thing is, feminists have only taken this so far. They've sucked away the idea that female heroes should have T&A, but in its place you're left with a waif look. That's still intimidating to your average land-whale with problem-glasses. I mean, is it fair to project unrealistic ideals of being so thin???

Really the last stop on this cultural devolution that demands that our female stars be dragged down to everywoman status will be land-whales. We almost saw this in the casting of Amy Schumer as Barbie.

http://variety.com/2017/film/news/amy-sc...202015233/

Again, the main problem is feminism represents entitlement culture, which in turn is a combination of pathological laziness and bad self-esteem. To be shown examples of women who are "better" in some shape or form is to make women feel worse rather than to be something to aspire to. When you aspire it means you're conceding that you're lacking something. This also explains why Shape of Water cleaned up, because a homely mute woman doesn't threaten women. Presumably, it's SJW, but it's specifically because she's at the bottom-most peg of the RMV pecking order that makes her a suitable SJW protagonist. The only avenue in which women on screen can be seen as "better" is their martyrdom and/or whining/resisting/pleading/ball-kicking against TPTB.

I mean, as far as guys, sure, I do feel inadequate watching a movie like 300 which has slow-mo scenes of rippling and oiled sixpack, but I don't feel that heroes should be anything other than larger than life, no matter how inadequate it might make me feel.

Post: #113

Gal Gadot is teaming up with Reebok

Wtf. Apparently being bone-thin with some “exercise” makes one a fitness model.

Post: #114

(03-16-2018 09:53 AM)questor70 Wrote:  

(03-16-2018 05:17 AM)CynicalContrarian Wrote:  This is all just the next step towards Tranny Tomb Raider...

The thing is, feminists have only taken this so far. They've sucked away the idea that female heroes should have T&A, but in its place you're left with a waif look. That's still intimidating to your average land-whale with problem-glasses. I mean, is it fair to project unrealistic ideals of being so thin???

Really the last stop on this cultural devolution that demands that our female stars be dragged down to everywoman status will be land-whales. We almost saw this in the casting of Amy Schumer as Barbie.

http://variety.com/2017/film/news/amy-sc...202015233/

Again, the main problem is feminism represents entitlement culture, which in turn is a combination of pathological laziness and bad self-esteem. To be shown examples of women who are "better" in some shape or form is to make women feel worse rather than to be something to aspire to. When you aspire it means you're conceding that you're lacking something. This also explains why Shape of Water cleaned up, because a homely mute woman doesn't threaten women. Presumably, it's SJW, but it's specifically because she's at the bottom-most peg of the RMV pecking order that makes her a suitable SJW protagonist. The only avenue in which women on screen can be seen as "better" is their martyrdom and/or whining/resisting/pleading/ball-kicking against TPTB.

I mean, as far as guys, sure, I do feel inadequate watching a movie like 300 which has slow-mo scenes of rippling and oiled sixpack, but I don't feel that heroes should be anything other than larger than life, no matter how inadequate it might make me feel.

That's what women mean when they say "I love (celebrity X) because she has a realistic body". Ironically what they mean is they "love" her because they love their body less than the body of (celebrity Y) who's really hot. But being both pathologically jealous and self-deluded they prefer to condemn the superior girl and praise the inferior one because they don't feel threatened by her. Their motto is" If you can't measure up don't try to improve yourself; just lower the bar to your level and try to protest those who are better into disappearance". That's why the obesity epidemics can only lead to morbid obesity being the only acceptable look for women.

Post: #115

This movie just hit DvD.

I was pleased to see that the New Tomb Raider is definitely no Mary Sue and she fails as often as she succeeds. That part is good.

Vikander Is too old and too flat for the role. She’s miscast.

But the movie probably flopped because Vikander keeps getting the shit beat out of her over and over again all movie. Watching women get abused over and over again just isn’t fun. It wasn’t fun in Theron’s Atomic Blonde and it wasn’t fun here.

While this physical abuse isn’t fun to watch, even that’s probably an improvement over watching Angelina Jolie Steven Seagal her way through scores of baddies and never get touched. This movie wolnt inspire drunk girls at the bar to pick physical fights with large men.

At one point, Vikander is impaled through the gut by some sort of metal spike and has nothing to wrap the wound with except her tank top. But the top never comes off. It’s one of those wounds that can wait hours to get treated.

Post: #116

Well, whether it's Tomb Raider 2018, Red Sparrow, Atomic Blonde or even Oceans 8.

What I note is that while these films can just about break even for costs, if not make a small profit.
None of these films 'set the world on fire' & they are all so readily forgotten so easily.

"Grrrl power!" can be a marketing gimmick on one hand, yet it appears chicks would rather salivate over the likes of The Rock or 'Thor'.

Post: #117

I saw this movie on the plane, have to agree with Rotten, she's no Mary Sue in it, but she's still flat and a bit old. The guys in the film (from what I remember) were all well-played, and no doubt the father element is what actually kept women sitting through this film, not Lara herself.

Overall not a bad film, certainly not as bad as TFA. Would consider watching sequel on plane.

Post: #118

Completely agree. Decent movie despite the lack of boobs, the character is well made and not an arrogant feminist engine of destruction like in many other adventure/action/fantasy movies, and even the plot was interesting. The movie was let down by shaky editing and jumping from scene to scene too much, sadly, so I don't think the franchise will be continuing.

Post: #119

I saw it a while back. Very generic story and lackluster acting, in addition to the obvious...well, missing pieces from the main character.

More rants (+ SPOILERS! ):

- Why does it always have to some apocalypse? That doesn't raise the stakes anymore. Audiences are de-sensitized to that fake threat. What are the odds that the final scene is the destruction of all life on earth?

- The threat is an ancient Japanese thing yet they had to shoe-horn Chinese characters, including the co-lead (?) due to that huge movie market. Fine get that sweet Yuan but couldn't you have made it an ancient Chinese site instead?

- The moral of the meta-story (i.e casting) seems to be that a woman can't be both attractive and capable. Shame on feminist Hollywood for being so misogynistic!

Post: #120

Allison Carroll got many a fap from me back in 2008.

Post: #121

I was given a lend of the new Tomb Raider film by a well-meaning family member weeks ago. I'll give it a watch (and a fair evaluation) eventually, but only when I've completely exhausted all other entertainment options.

But speaking of flatness, what the actual fuck is this shit!!;




The above is a publicity shot from the new Terminator film.

I think the idea is that these images are supposed to entice people to hand over substantial sums of their hard-earned money in order to go and watch the full movie in cinemas. This still photo is actually meant to make you want to see more.

Honestly, I've seen enough already. My mind is made up and my money is staying firmly in my pocket for this one.

I've only just got over what they did to Star Wars and then they go and do this ...

Also, I hear James Cameron is producing. Does he not realise that this garbage is fully capable of dealing retrospective damage to greats like his T1 and T2!? If the new Star Wars shit can erode fan-love for the originals (like it did for me) then the same can happen with the Terminator. It just becomes even more painful to watch old classics with the foreknowledge of what comes after.

Post: #122

(08-02-2018 08:00 AM)Richard Turpin Wrote:  I was given a lend of the new Tomb Raider film by a well-meaning family member weeks ago. I'll give it a watch (and a fair evaluation) eventually, but only when I've completely exhausted all other entertainment options.

But speaking of flatness, what the actual fuck is this shit!!;

Wow, I'm so glad they got Robert Patrick back! They even dyed his hair blonde, he looks great in sunglasses!

Seriously, which one is the guy in that photo? Did they finally decide to cast Ellen DeGenerate in something?

God save us from people who mean well. -storm

Post: #123

Pretty sure that middle chick is from halt and catch fire

Post: #124

(08-02-2018 08:00 AM)Richard Turpin Wrote:  I was given a lend of the new Tomb Raider film by a well-meaning family member weeks ago. I'll give it a watch (and a fair evaluation) eventually, but only when I've completely exhausted all other entertainment options.

But speaking of flatness, what the actual fuck is this shit!!;




The above is a publicity shot from the new Terminator film.

This picture just makes me confused and angry. The demographic of people possibly paying to see this movie is straight men under the age of 35. Why the hell would they pay to see a "Terminator" dominated by tranny freaks, old women, and "independent" black women.

I seriously hope this bombs hard, like all the other SJW freak shows they're trying to cram down people's throats.

Post: #125

(08-02-2018 08:00 AM)Richard Turpin Wrote:  

Nofap August.