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Agreeing for a date and then flaking
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EmotionalGeek Offline
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Post: #1
Agreeing for a date and then flaking
On Friday I met a girl in a club. Spend and two hours with her talking. During the talks I did a lot of kino (wrapping my hand around her, touching legs and face) but no make out. We exchanged numbers.

At Monday I have following sms exchange:
Me (9:01): Hi Martha, How was your weekend? /Geek
Martha(9:06): Hi Geek, It was ok, How was yours?
Me(9:36): good, maybe You want to grab some coffee and tell me about it?
Her(9:47): I want to. I love coffee Smile.
Me (9:47): Tommorow at 18?
Her(9:51): I would preffer at 17
Me(9:51): ok, let's meet at 17 on X-Y crossing
Her(9:51): I don't know what's located there and I won't manage at 17. Lets meet at coffe shop in A mall or B.
Me(9:59): A mall is only about 500 meters from X. Let's meet at X-Z crossing. It's nice weather and it will be much more pleasant outdoors.
Her (10:01): I don't know this city that well so I don't want to find crossings. So maybe we meet at the C park. It's near to E.
Me: (10:05): ok, let's meet at park at 17
Her(10:05): Ok. See You!
Her (11:20): I won't meet you. Best wishes.

So I do not really understand why she flaked after about 90 minutes without any reason. For me it's like she suddenly changed her mind. Also I would like to know whether there something I can do so she changes her mind.
05-22-2017 05:30 AM
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GillesDeleuze Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Agreeing for a date and then flaking
After I read your post I immediately looked at the flag of the country you are in...it all made sense.
05-22-2017 06:49 AM
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Bland Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Agreeing for a date and then flaking
I'm far from an expert at this, but I don't put up with that level of resistance to the plans I'm trying to make.

I don't know if that's the right advice though because the last two times I put my foot down and basically said, "Take it or leave it," they ended up leaving it.

I figure I probably saved myself some time though because if they're not going to follow you when you're leading them on the first date, they're probably not going to follow you into your bed.

I'm interested to hear what some of the more advanced guys say about your situation.
05-22-2017 07:45 AM
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ksbms Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Agreeing for a date and then flaking
She just fucked with you for the sake of it or proper crazy.

Next.

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05-22-2017 08:26 AM
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not_dead_yet Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Agreeing for a date and then flaking
(05-22-2017 05:30 AM)EmotionalGeek Wrote:  On Friday I met a girl in a club. Spend and two hours with her talking. During the talks I did a lot of kino (wrapping my hand around her, touching legs and face) but no make out. We exchanged numbers.

At Monday I have following sms exchange:
Me (9:01): Hi Martha, How was your weekend? /Geek
Martha(9:06): Hi Geek, It was ok, How was yours?
Me(9:36): good, maybe You want to grab some coffee and tell me about it?
Her(9:47): I want to. I love coffee Smile.
Me (9:47): Tommorow at 18?
Her(9:51): I would preffer at 17
Me(9:51): ok, let's meet at 17 on X-Y crossing
Her(9:51): I don't know what's located there and I won't manage at 17. Lets meet at coffe shop in A mall or B.
Me(9:59): A mall is only about 500 meters from X. Let's meet at X-Z crossing. It's nice weather and it will be much more pleasant outdoors.
Her (10:01): I don't know this city that well so I don't want to find crossings. So maybe we meet at the C park. It's near to E.
Me: (10:05): ok, let's meet at park at 17
Her(10:05): Ok. See You!
Her (11:20): I won't meet you. Best wishes.

So I do not really understand why she flaked after about 90 minutes without any reason. For me it's like she suddenly changed her mind. Also I would like to know whether there something I can do so she changes her mind.

I am recently back on the market and, like you, my text game is horrible. I was flaked on myself last week, so don't consider my advice to be useful or any good.

You met her in the club and did some kino, maybe enough to get her interest. The texting seems kind of dry to me. Maybe a little more flirting? A little more seduction? Something in there to remind her about whatever she felt for you Friday?

Agree with the other posters though -- her level of resistance to your plans is a yellow flag. The only time that hasn't been a flag for me is when the girl was a lot younger than me, and a little skittish about meeting an older man.

Good luck.

"I'm not worried about fucking terrorism, man. I was married for two fucking years. What are they going to do, scare me?"
05-22-2017 09:15 AM
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Ensam Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Agreeing for a date and then flaking
Don't be so accommodating. Never be afraid to walk away from a date if she's changing too much. Tell her that's the only time you're free and hit her up in a few days if you really want to. For chicks I don't know the first date is always inviting them along to stuff I'm already doing. This solves the venue/time negotiating problem. It also establishes that I'm busy doing cool things and I'm inviting them into my world. If they show up and you want to spend time with them then bounce to a place were you can be one on one. You can also invite multiple girls to the same event and if more then one shows up have your pick. Greatly reduces the anxiety about if a girl is gonna show up and I swear they can smell that shit on you even through text.
(This post was last modified: 05-22-2017 09:37 AM by Ensam.)
05-22-2017 09:35 AM
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Simeon_Strangelight Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Agreeing for a date and then flaking
(05-22-2017 05:30 AM)EmotionalGeek Wrote:  On Friday I met a girl in a club. Spend and two hours with her talking. During the talks I did a lot of kino (wrapping my hand around her, touching legs and face) but no make out. We exchanged numbers.

At Monday I have following sms exchange:
Me (9:01): Hi Martha, How was your weekend? /Geek
Martha(9:06): Hi Geek, It was ok, How was yours?
Me(9:36): good, maybe You want to grab some coffee and tell me about it?
Her(9:47): I want to. I love coffee Smile.
Me (9:47): Tommorow at 18?
Her(9:51): I would preffer at 17
Me(9:51): ok, let's meet at 17 on X-Y crossing
Her(9:51): I don't know what's located there and I won't manage at 17. Lets meet at coffe shop in A mall or B.
Me(9:59): A mall is only about 500 meters from X. Let's meet at X-Z crossing. It's nice weather and it will be much more pleasant outdoors.
Her (10:01): I don't know this city that well so I don't want to find crossings. So maybe we meet at the C park. It's near to E.
Me: (10:05): ok, let's meet at park at 17
Her(10:05): Ok. See You!
Her (11:20): I won't meet you. Best wishes.

So I do not really understand why she flaked after about 90 minutes without any reason. For me it's like she suddenly changed her mind. Also I would like to know whether there something I can do so she changes her mind.

The problem is in the first sentence already. Flaking is normal and happens to the best, but you were talking for 2 hours in the club? Club "talks" are escalated fast and heavy. Read Roosh's works and especially Nick Krauser's - you can find countless date routines, games that sexualize the encounter really fast. After 2 hours at meeting at a club you should have your dick pressed to her ass and start kissing her. Then you should have at least attempted to invite her to your hotel/place to talk in more quiet and better surroundings. If your logistics are not prepared, then it is another red sign.

Now after having done all this in the club for 2 hours one of 3 things would have happened:

A) She would have been horny and decided to go for it - at least makout
B) She would have been horny, but she is in a LTR and would have ejected - you were just time-filler
C) You are not her type and she would have ejected

Either way you would have found out faster and would not have wasted so much time.

Most often in clubs I made the bigger mistakes of not having escalated fast enough with some girls.

By the way - Polish girls can spend hours talking with you and not being interested in you sexually because they have a boyfriend etc. But they are quite easygoing if you can get them excited, occasionally you have some LMR, but that is gone after date 2 at the latest.
05-22-2017 03:24 PM
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UlteriorMotive Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Agreeing for a date and then flaking
(05-22-2017 05:30 AM)EmotionalGeek Wrote:  Me (9:47): Tommorow at 18?
Her(9:51): I would preffer at 17
Me(9:51): ok, let's meet at 17 on X-Y crossing
Her(9:51): I don't know what's located there and I won't manage at 17. Lets meet at coffe shop in A mall or B.
Me(9:59): A mall is only about 500 meters from X. Let's meet at X-Z crossing. It's nice weather and it will be much more pleasant outdoors.
Her (10:01): I don't know this city that well so I don't want to find crossings. So maybe we meet at the C park. It's near to E.
!
Her (11:20): I won't meet you. Best wishes.


I've bolded the parts you should have shot down.

The first time she changed the time you should have said, I can't do any earlier and stood your ground.

She saw over text that she can get her own way without even giving up her lady cavern.

“It is far better for a man to go wrong in freedom than to go right in chains.” Thomas Henry Huxley

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05-22-2017 03:46 PM
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realologist Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Agreeing for a date and then flaking
Damn. I'm so tired of another newbie use the fucking word kino again like it's some ancient forbidden PUA art that makes a girls panties drop in 30 seconds or less due to the gushing from her insatiable pussy.

First things first drop the PUA lingo. All kino is is touching. Something completely normal in people. We all crave it.

Now on to your game. Recognize the logistics and the scenario. It's Friday night, at club, weeks over and she needs to unwind. Has a few drinks. Sees a random stranger she finds attractive and decides what a way to start the weekend. Going out, drinking and getting fucked by a random stranger. But he won't pull the trigger. She wanted to get fucked that night not at the end of the weekend. You were no longer a stranger in the night club that she made bad decisions with. You lost that opportunity as soon as you didn't take it that night.

Other than that no real criticisms but be aware of what's going on, what day it is, what she has to do tomorrow before you decide whether to throw the hail Mary or have a long sustained drive to score the touchdown(ie. fuck that chick.)
05-22-2017 03:56 PM
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Post: #10
RE: Agreeing for a date and then flaking
There could be a million reasons but here's my quick feedback:

2 main points...assuming your goal is sex

#1. Why are you asking a girl you met in a night club out for coffee? I know others do but personally I dont EVER do coffee, lunch or anything daytime (with few exceptions*) pre bang.

Daylight+Sobriety+Public place = Cock blocks. Even worse theyre self inflicted cockblocks

The following should be required reading:

Tuthmosis New Recipe First Date

If I had to limit my game advice to only one thing Id say that single post is the one I would choose

#2. 7 texts in the span of an hr? You just converted yourself from "mysterious/ fun club guy who might make my pussy tingle" to "just another nice thirsty dude with lame text game" who bores me in about 60 min. Not just because the frequency makes it apparent that meeting her really matters to you: ergo you dont have much else going on in terms of options as well as too much nice guy compliance/ direct answers / and no innuendo.

All those things are basically pussy anesthesia


* Exceptions: Day time activities are limited to things that are going to demonstrate high competency (teaching her to surf, snow board, guitar...anything you're really good at) or high social value (you're giving a speech, or something where you are the leader).

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- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


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"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
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(This post was last modified: 05-22-2017 04:11 PM by PapayaTapper.)
05-22-2017 04:08 PM
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