Post: #51

I understand your points of view. I mostly share them. No need to hammer away.

Please share your experience with long distance MLTRs. Does ANYONE want to go into ANY detail about THEIR experience?

It seems contradictory. I'm not trying to have long distance relationships. Yet I'm always traveling. And I don't plan to ever stop. So what am I supposed to do. Stop communicating with every girl I meet? Never see them again? Common...

What I don't care about is what I already guessed and accepted from day one about this particular girl. Yes the sponsorette angle has been a new experience for me so I'm on a learning curve.

That's why I'm asking advice. But also asking about other experiences I've had in general. I seem to have a year cap on MLTRs. I know a lot of that is due to full time travel. I usually only see girls a few times a year...

Overall it's basically the same problem I've had with all MLTRs. After about a year it gets real difficult to maintain a close but casual relationship. All sorts of drama starts to happen.

I don't care about anyone telling me what I'm supposed to feel. I LIKE having genuine feelings for women. There's lots of girls I don't connect to and it ends after a bang or two.

Others I try to keep in my life. With most of these chicks the problems are actually small. Our time together is 98% awesome. I gloss over that 98% with a statement like "we traveled to EVERY destination in Laos and Chiang Rai". Then I expound on the shitty 2% drama. Because that's what I want to learn, share, improve.

I'm able to compartmentalize enough to keep myself from being taken advantage of monetarily.

Still I'm not dropping a good chick that I have feelings for. A lot of these chicks are great despite their flaws. They love and take care of me. Trustworthy. Cook. Clean. Fuck. Massages. Give me keys to their place. Help me wth translations, paperwork, hold onto my stuff, etc.

It's not one-sided. They have open invites to travel with or visit me. But they hardly do because of work, money, etc. So I'm usually traveling to them.

Rarely like with this chick I get a prolonged trip. It's unique. But now I've seen everything in her country she's getting antsy.

My girl in Tokyo said the same thing after I lived there many times. I went to Osaka and did everything there. She was like now you have little reason to spend time with me bc you've seen everything. And I'm always gonna be working. Really she got pissed I was fucking half of Osaka. She tolerated the oltr if she had plausible deniability about being my only girl in japan.

Only solution is for me to settle down with her and/Or take care of her. It's a glaring issue they get faced with. We both know how unlikely that is.

I've been trying to find ways around this. To extend beyond the year time frame. Beyond the "you've done everything in my country/region issue".

Thoughts? Experiences?

Post: #52

Man what a heartbreaking month keeping in touch with this Laos girl. We both love each other. One of us revives chatting everyday. I could see myself married to her if I was 30 years older and ready to settle down in Laos.

But we both know it's not in the cards. So many long video and messaging sessions. Theres no resolution but to be friends. Even that is tough bc her bf is jealous.

He deletes me off her phone and social media. Then she adds me right back. He will make her send messages in front of him that she is done with me. Then when he's gone she adds me back and sends me messages saying she doesn't feel that way.

My strong feelings for her are why I haven't let this go. But I was curious how it would play out. I hope it will be a valuable experience in the future. Going forward I'll have to consider outside factors a lot more. And maintain my exit strategy of ongoing friendship. Usually the bf comes later after our feelings have already died down.

One thing I still can't comprehend is why an expat who speaks the language and lives there would go to so much trouble for one girl. He's settled there forever. Given two months of sweet talking he could get any local chick. I thought for sure if I turned her back a few times he'd give up. This last time I'm not even physically there.

Once I had her back, I explored getting her stateside. I thought she'd have fun on my summer road trip. She'd never qualify for a visa by this summer. Then my van died anyway.

I pushed her to work and save so a visa could be a future option. She'd have to show money in the bank and economic ties to Laos.

So for 2-3 weeks she went to a seamstress to apprentice. She stopped talking to the expat bf living in Laos. It drove him nuts. He kept giving her ultimatum deadlines then moving them.

He'd show up at her family's house where they have weekend parties. Shit talk me and make her offers. He was sending me weird messages which turned nasty. So I just blocked him.

I'm surprised she lasted this long. I knew I was just torturing myself. But I had to follow through. I really saw potential with this girl. I'd hate myself in ten years if I didn't let her know how I feel and lay out options. If she didn't take them well at least I tried.

I thought there was a small chance a few things could go my way. First she'd recoup some of her PS scam investment by the cutoff in June. Failing that she'd borrow money from family, rent her extra rooms, or sell her moto. Get through her training and start a business.

Nope. In the end, it came down to being lazy and wanting money from a guy. She couldn't accept I really cared about her bc I didn't pay up. She would tell me how the other guy is "good to her" (which mostly meant support).

Meanwhile I'm "cool" to her. I made her pay for her own food and bus while we traveled two months. She claims to have spent most of her reserve capital ($700) on our trip. Leaving her with only $500 liquid cash.

She did start her seamstress course. Verified by random video chats over two weeks. Even caught her a couple times at the PS office trying to get her money back (with half of Laos). It'd be a pretty elaborate scam for her to orchestrate this.

I wouldn't send her money to pay. I knew it'd become an ongoing payment. The course was 15,000B. Plus extras for cloth and string materials each week. Then $200/month for her housing costs. Who knows what else. After 3-6 months she'd need to buy the machines for a few hundred bucks. Not going on that hook.

Sad to watch a sponsorette who made poor financial decisions. She's trying to transition into a home business. I give her 50/50 chance. Less now that she didn't have to front the investment. I told her she wouldn't be serious if a guy paid. It's play money to her.

She knows this expat will tolerate endless shit and take care of her. Kinda sad, but it's about what I figured.

I did offer to make a personal loan which she rejected bc she didn't want to pay me back. After the boyfriend paid her fee, I had canceled my road trip and junked my van.

I made one last offer to make an investment in her business in exchange for her sponsoring my business visa. Then I'd get a year in Laos with multiple entry/exit. She was upset I didn't think of that earlier. Felt it was too late.

I knew the expat bf would pay the 15,000B. I knew she'd claim no choice but to be his gf. She kept saying her life as not about the money.

She won't take money from a guy that's not her bf. But when the deadline to pay for training came she took the money from him. Then she's officially his gf again. She refuses to acknowledge the blatant contradiction.

I'm not shocked or surprised. I just had to give her the option to act differently. Now I did I can move on.

This month was super difficult for me. Coming back stateside off 6 months of travel is always a downer. Bouncing between NY & LA a few times Fucked with my head.

Was always a now or never thing. Literally moving location every night or two. Same as when I'm traveling abroad. Or I'd have a week but be upstate at my family place.

Helped my sister move to San Fran. Then my buddy move down from there to LA. We winged each other downtown. Came close with some makeouts but didn't pull. Just felt like it was a waste of time. Asians or thick latinas. Might as well go to South America or back to Asia.

My camper died and I didn't feel like it was worth repairs. Called off my trip to Pacific Northwest. Will save two grand/year in storage alone.

Everyone tells me to put down roots in NY or LA for a bit. Then I'll kill it. My buddies pull decent chicks online, but it takes him 3-4 dates over a month. When they go out they never SNL.

For the quality they pull I get the same or better while traveling abroad. Putting roots down in either city seems like a step backwards to my 20s. I've done everything sightseeing there already too. No adventure. And way more expensive.

I wish I could say this pattern is gonna change but I don't think so. It's getting irksome knowing exactly how every situation is likely to play out unless I put unwarranted time/money into it.

-I get the two week vacation with a westernized chick who pays for herself. Then wants me to marry her and settle down.

-I get the 3 month adventure with a foreign girl who pays a little for herself. Then wants me to settle down and marry her.

-I devote hours everyday to picking up new girls. Can get almost every girl interested but I leave town the next day or two. And I don't speak her language.

-I choose a big city for 1-3 months. Bang a lot of 7s. A few 8s. If lucky a 9 with decent personality. Then one of first two scenarios happens.

Anyway sounds like I'm complaining. I'm not. Love my life and don't want to change it. Just a bit tired of the same pattern.

My advice to my younger self would be spend 6-12 months in the biggest city of each country. Be an English teacher if you have to. Learn the language. Take the pressure off always having to quickly hook 8-9s who speaks English. Be willing to take short trips of 1-2 weeks to different parts of the country. Not many women can get off for more than a few days.

Post: #53

Of all the sad-sack characters in this pathetic drama I think you and the bf have the most in common. You are both being played by this chick into thinking you each have (and invest in) a "relationship" with this chick. Girl game recognized.

My suggestion is you fly the "bf" over so you can sniff each others dick and commiserate over the snatch that some other as yet unidentified player is most assuredly pounding.

Post: #54

She's a semi pro from some 3rd world country..... NEXT

Post: #55

As always, OP does not disappoint with the read.

Why try to come between her and the BF sponsor, if you actually don't care, as you say? You like this girl, he might be the best shot she has at getting the sewing course completed, and when you do finally make it over odds are good that he'll turn a blind eye while you travel with her again. I've had a few girls I saw and will see intermittently (locally and across the country) and with all but a few I never added them on social media, that's tough to manage.

We text occasionally, I do care about them and want to see them again but there's no need for long chats several times a week. A few minutes of texting to let them know I was thinking of them while teasing them about their haircut or whatever, that's all it takes, none of this constant back and forth vying for dominance with some beta on the other side of the world. When they ask about me sleeping with other women one strategy I've used is to defuse with off the wall humor and turn the tables, eg, "That's my adoptive sister, we were working deep undercover gathering intel on Kim Jon Un for Dennis Rodman. Eww, I can't believe you thought I was having sex with her, you weirdo." It sounds like you're taking this whole thing very seriously, maybe that's the way you are, but it will lead to more drama, late night talks, and other BS.

The surest cure for getting out of your situation is to game other women. It's been said a thousand times here and that's because its true. You walked by five other unicorns in Whole Foods earlier today that could put your mind at rest, if only you approached them.

(04-30-2017 06:53 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  Basically it can only go one of two ways. You breed with her, or you let her go. Everything else is a dead end as far as life and reality is concerned, and life and reality will repel it. You don't want to breed with her because of the complications and costs involved, and that it will bring your Fun Promiscuous Travel Freedom Time™ to an end or at least heavily choke it. And you don't want to let her go because she's hot stuff. Sorry, but it will end up one or the other.

Greatest crux of a man's life, summed up beautifully right there.

Post: #56

This fuckin' thread again? Jesus christ.

MOVE ON MAN.

Either you start paying us shrink wages or take a damn hike with this crap.

Post: #57

Post some pics of the ltrs? Maybe other posters may be inclined to give more advice.

Post: #58

(06-12-2017 06:24 PM)JayD Wrote:  Post some pics of the ltrs? Maybe other posters may be inclined to give more advice.

There literally isn't any more advice to give regardless of what members have said.

He's dealing with a gold digger whose pussy is going to the highest bidder at this point.

He caught feelings and now got hurt by investing too much time, money, and emotions with her.

You cannot ever make a hoe a housewife.

Post: #59

I'm just fishing

Post: #60

I was able to diffuse her jealousy for months. But after our third trip it's gotten annoying. She brings up stuff like me just LOOKING at sexy girls walk by. Says I can get any girl. Blah blah. It's like a broken record and the BF loves to reinforce it. Telling her I'll forget about her.

FYI, the sponsor is not the BF. The sponsor is an old man. He has pretty much been out of the picture for 3 years. He left her hanging for a few years thinking he'd be back. But he can't. So I do understand her financial situation. Poor long term planning. She was too dependent on him as a long term BF. I'm not condoning it. But he lived with her for 7 years of her youth. So she never really had to grow up. It is what it is. At least she got a house, car, moto, etc.

As for getting in the way of the current BF. I was with this girl for about a year before he came along. She only went with him bc I didn't come back to Laos on time. I went to Cambodia for two months first. She knew I was hooking up with girls there. She wanted to make me jealous and such. He's a placeholder and financial crutch. He doesn't like his status but he's older and ugly. I guess it's a good deal for him so he's not letting go. Of course he's going to do everything he can to stop her keeping in touch with me. I told him I wished him luck, but I know this girl so he'd need it.

I've been through these situations several times now. I'm trying to be different from what I've usually done. With my other long distance LTRs I was casual. I did essentially what other posters have been suggesting. It works for about a year. But after a few trips back and forth the girls get jaded. She sees me live in 5-10 cities in that time. Photos and videos. Other girls in them. Liking. Commenting. Etc. So they usually start dating (which I always tell them is OK). Then quickly get a boyfriend and cut me off. Occasional texts don't compete with a guy physically there with no plan to leave.

So I figure let me see what happens if I go the other direction. I let her know she's got a great combination of traits, looks, lifestyle that I feel is compatible with me. But still honest that I'm not coming back soon. And that her visa options as a Laotian are few. She's going to have to work and put away some cash. In the meantime I understand her wanting to date. I've always said that's better than her waiting around for me to show up.

I put off my trip to Sao Paolo to wrap up loose ends at home. I was watching my surfing van suck $150/month from my budget. It was getting destroyed sitting in storage in LA. I didn't keep up with maintenance on it. Figured it might have one last road trip in it, but my heart wasn't in it. Especially for the costs of getting it running right. I drove that thing all over the US for 5 years in my 20s. I think the next time I'll do that is when I'm 70. I'll probably be in one of those big class As, chuckle. Seriously you can do that shit at age 70. The national parks aren't going anywhere.

I tried the option of GFTOW. I've done that before. It works. Though a little boring to me. Given my lifestyle it takes away too much time and money. I'd rather explore other endeavors I enjoy. Last few weeks I got into cryptocurrency trading. I've finally gotten my knowledge and trades down where I'm earning a decent profit and not triggering taxable events.

Another thing about GTOW. It's not like I'm consistently banging 9s. With my $2k/month I could probably pull that off if I relocate permanently to one city. All I'd have to do is learn the language. But I like traveling around too much. It's a huge trade off. When I do it in NY or LA, I just end up thinking these women aren't worth the time, effort, money. I'd rather be overseas.

As for the Lao girl being a semi-pro. I don't think she's doing it now. I figured it's probably part of her past before she met her sponsor. He was her BF for 7 years and the guy lived with her. She wasn't fucking around on him. It's been free a few years since he left but her gave her a cushion and occasional money. Friends in Laos told me she's not a good girl. But that's pretty much bc she started dating this new guy while still talking to me. I had to play dumb with them but of course I already knew. When I asked what else they pretty much say that's it. And everyone knows she had an older guy lift her out of poverty and she never worked in all the years.

You can never really know what some chick is doing. But I don't think she's out whoring, nor stringing along other foreigners online. If she was getting cash she wouldn't need to BF an older expat for a measly $400. And this dude is like the KGB on her phone checking shit. I'm pretty sure he even has her password now because she often won't get messages I send her.

I think the problem is that Laos is a traditional country. The downside to a feminine woman acting like it's 1920 is that she's going to expect her man to provide for her. What I'm essentially asking her to do is be a modern woman financially but an old school woman in every other way. It's a bit off.

At the same time, I've been straight up with her that in the long run she'd be better off working and being independent. I'm not paying money to her after she did me dirty. Though again this is contradictory bc I fucked dozens of women in between seeing her. She's had one guy.

Laos isn't Thailand. This girl isn't keeping a stable of 10 guys. That being said she's used to a man providing for her while she does practically nothing. The dynamic really isn't that different than more westernized women I've dated in Asia.

Girls in Japan and China gave me keys to their apartments in big cities like Tokyo, Shanghai, Beijing, etc. Let me come and go. Never asked for money. Took me to dinner. Paid for themselves while traveling and doing stuff. But they still want me to make more of a commitment than I'm prepared to do.

This isn't an easy situation. The trade off to moving around is that you lose a lot of good women. Just trying to ask guys how they've dealt with similar situations. So far I just get:

-goldigger
-gftow
-shut down your social media except texts

Can anyone share a personal stories of dating multiple foreign women over the long term? You open yourself up to a lot of criticism. Who cares. Maybe 1% of this forum has this kind of quality problem. Gee I travel around and land decent to hot women in every country. And I'm annoyed that they don't want to wait for me longer than a year despite come and go privileges to their bedroom. I'm such a simp.

Post: #61

(04-30-2017 04:18 PM)Travel Museums Wrote:  She's probably the best girl I've found in SEA. She's not the hottest, but close. She's not the best personality, but close. It's the combination of both her looks and personality that makes her such a good companion. And she doesn't steal. Ever.

Oneitis.

Can you post a model's picture of what you'd consider a non-Thai ethnic SEAsian 9.

I've never seen one, and I've got a thing for Asians.

Post: #62

(06-15-2017 10:03 PM)Transsimian Wrote:  

(04-30-2017 04:18 PM)Travel Museums Wrote:  She's probably the best girl I've found in SEA. She's not the hottest, but close. She's not the best personality, but close. It's the combination of both her looks and personality that makes her such a good companion. And she doesn't steal. Ever.

Oneitis.

Can you post a model's picture of what you'd consider a non-Thai ethnic SEAsian 9.

I've never seen one, and I've got a thing for Asians.

I don't know what non-Thai ethnic SEA 9 means... Here's a pic of what I'd consider a 9/10. My girl is a little past her prime. A girl like the one in the photo is going to be working over a major city most of her teens and 20s. She's unlikely to travel on the back of a moto for months with no promise of a LTR or profit of some kind. My girls face is better than hers though. Just a quick search to give you a rough ballpark of my type. several other girls came up under hot girl laos. but they werent skinny enough for me.

There's a difference between oneitis and genuinely liking a woman because of her qualities and (rare) compatibility.

I had fun banging a bunch of woman several years ago when I spent a month living in Bangkok. Now I've seen everything I want to in BKK. I'm sure I could still get a $1200 apt, waste my days fooling around in an MMA gym, and get at least a few girls like in the pic on a rotation. Boring. I'm past that.

I want to travel around SEA.

It's difficult to meet a pretty local girl who's both skinny and will bang me on the first date (I l usually leave town in a night or two). Even if they do none of them can travel for more than a weekend. Rare for them to give a really good massage and not be a money girl. Or steal shit.

Everyone on this board talks about how they see studs with ugly local girls. Even in places like the phillipines. The general consensus is a foreign 8-9 dude will often be happily holding hands with a 5-6 girl.

Why do you think this is? Is it that every dude has NO GAME? No. That may be part of it. The other side of the coin? These dudes are tourists rolling through for a few days. They fire up tinder or go to the tourists spots. Who are they going to meet and interact with? Yup.

You do have to make an effort AND have game to land decent to got girls in Asia. They're not just lining up. And even if you do get them. What does it amount to? A bang or two? They take you to eat and drive you around in their imported car. How wonderful.

Maybe they go somewhere with you for the weekend. Now that's more like it. Now we are talking. But still, if it was so commonplace why do I never see good looking local girls with foreign guys traveling around in the smaller towns or doing zipline adventures together?

You have to admit, its kind of a BKK phenomenon. I read posts by guys who will live in a city like Bangkok or Zagreb. Spend months there. Bang a dozen women. But barely see any local sights and hardly anything around the country.

To me it's a horrible trade off. And it mostly comes down time, money, and where you focus your drive. Pick up is great. But it's not everything.

You have a thing for Asians? You pull decent-to-hot Asian girls everywhere you go? Traveled all around different countries with dozens of Asian girls over the last several years? Lived with some of them?

I've done several write ups. Please share your stories about it. Love to hear what YOUR experience was like...

Uh yeah. If you actually went through this process over and over I think you'd reach the same conclusions as me. Or you'd at least understand my point of view without being completely dismissive.

Doctor says simple case of Oneitiis. Prescription is forget her and bang a bunch of new women. Uh yeah doc, you see I'm already doing that. It's boring. And often I'm in remote areas where that's not really something that's possible. I want to travel to small remote corners of the world on a motorbike with a bangable girl who doesn't annoy me.

So to explain the context again: I meet a girl who ticks most of my boxes. Only getting a short trip out of it wasn't enough. I carried it over until the next winter and got a second trip of a couple months. Looking to do the same thing next winter.

I understand game theory. It works for you in certain contexts and against you in others. If I was putting the blocks to this chick every Friday night I wouldn't need help. But I'm away for months.

In a lot of ways I'm usually trying to DLV. Otherwise she thinks i'm a rich playboy who doesn't give two shits about her. It's partly true I guess. I have real feelings for her, but during the rainy season I want to travel around to other areas of the world and meet women. Not ready to settle down.

Investing a little more emotional validation isn't a big deal to me. I don't care if it makes me look like a simp or whatever. I don't need the validation. What I need is to hear is stories from other expats/travelers who have multiple girls in multiple countries that they are cycling between.

I recognize the headache that I've created for myself. But I won't let that stop me from communicating and trying to see where things end up. I'm tired of letting go of every girl I meet. There's going to be some hassle involved. But if I actually get some prolonged adventure travel out of the relationship it's worth at least making an effort to hold on to her. At some point I would like to have one or two main girls who travel with me for 6-12 months. I'm 35 years old, man.

So you can call it oneitis. Or you can call it traveling to every corner of Cambodia and being disappointed. Poor quality with most of the bangable girls being prostitutes. Still having a couple upper class khmer travel with me, but feeling only so-so about them. Having a 7-8 girl i never met instagram close me and travel on a bus 8 hours to meet me. Then traveling together a few days only to send her home bc her personality wasnt great.

Or meeting lots of decent girls and banging them while living in Bangkok in my 20s. But none of them really wowing me as an LTR prospect. Nor having the free time and money to travel around the country with me. Then going to smaller cities and having mini bang marathons. But finding those boring and existentially unfulfilling. Wanting a real connection but knowing it's unlikely given I'm always moving on in a few days.

How about traveling around Laos and banging a bunch of young backpacker tourists in a few different cities. Even traveling together for a few days. But eventually fighting over dumb shit and being bored with them quickly.

I move around on a nightly basis. I don't do day 2s. I don't speak the languages. I don't create bullshit stories about being anything beyond a guy passing through. It's not worth my time.

So yeah if I meet a good girl who can accept all that and is down for adventure. I'm going to ask myself what I can do to keep it going.

Post: #63

Cat out of the bag! +1 for social media/internets being a huge part of the problem. Just got texts from this girl with screen shots of my laos data sheet posts from this very roosh site! she told me shed be with her boyfriend at a party tonight. probably not be able to text for a bit. these texts texts come occasionally and are always sent by him from her phone. don't know why he even bothered.

my last texts told her im leaving to brazil. always honest. not that it saves a man from being vilified. the same bullshit. over and over. she told me he is paying for her monthly living expenses now. i understand why he's unhappy but he is getting the pussy he's paying for, right?