doc holliday
Alpha Male
   
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RE: Long Distance Plate Spinning (Help Needed)
(05-01-2017 12:10 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote: (04-30-2017 07:28 PM)Tigre Wrote: What would it take to just unfriend each other on social media?
(04-30-2017 08:17 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote: Just to repeat - if you take social media out of the equation - you don't have a problem!
..
Its purely the social media giving you all the drama!
I'm going to go against the grain here and say social media isn't the problem. At least not in this situation. Most of the time when a guy posts about 'his girl' putting up pics of other guys on Facebook, ect, there is a fair number of replies telling him that social media is the problem, when it's really just a symptom.
Yeah, bitches attention whore on social media. But bitches attention whore anyway.
If a chick is yours, she isn't posting pics of her going out with other guys on facebook. It's really that simple. The problem here is that she doesn't care about OP.
Chicks who are enamored with their man don't play them to the left and make that an obvious fact. When they create a situation like this, where the OP is left wondering why "she cares but doesn't care" or "is invested but won't invest" or "gets mad when I am with someone else but she's also with someone else" i can only refer to Rollo's article of The Medium is The Message.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying social media isn't A problem with women per se. It certainly is. However it's not the source of the narcissistic behavior. It simply exacerbates it. Saying the OP just shouldn't creep on her FB (albiet correct) does not address the fundamental problem which is his feeling the need to creep on her FB.
He can't unsee the pics she's posted of her with other guys, so that genie is out of the bottle, re-applying the blinders at this point does nobody any good.
What he needs to accept is that she does this type of thing for a reason.
Now what that reason is specifically isn't for me to say, but I'd wager that she's not doing it to get a reaction out of him. Even though that's what he wants to believe.
OP, you need to define your terms. Then make a decision, and act on it. Stop trying to straddle the line here, you're only going to drive yourself crazy. You're all over the map on this. You love her, you dont. She was going to send you the money, but didn't. You care, but you don't. Don't try to have it all, because you can't. It seems to me the OP has more interest in looking 'internet cool' to RVF (see the numerous justifications above on why he's not a sponsor and how she's actually really into him and how we're the naive ones here for doubting that) than actually getting what he wants, whatever that is. More on that later...
Now for this post:
(05-01-2017 10:26 AM)Jack_Smith Wrote: Here's a thought -
Give her up for 30 days.
No contact. No social media. You can even tell her that you're going to be off the grid for a couple weeks if you want, but just give her up 100% for 30 days and see what happens.
I am on Day 13/30 with my #1. Here's why.
No big current issue, but I got oneitis pretty bad in the Fall and worked my ass off to break out of that, fuck other girls, and etc. She's been preoccupied with exams/school and wasn't down the last two times I hit her up. No big. She's got legit shit going on, proposes other dates when she can't make it, invests when we hang , dresses for me like a good little sub. All good. Also, I am not her BF, nor do I want to be, have fucked other girls and have another girl currently in play.
So what's the problem?
I caught myself really feelin it the last time she said no. Then ruminating over that shit. Then checkin her out on social media (totally retarded, I don't even facebook). This type of hamstering, left unchecked, will turn one into a bitch.
Simple solution - just take 30 days off.
I don't see the point in any of that. Again you are addressing a symptom and not the problem. Some of you guys act as if enjoying time spent with your chick is a sin or something. I really don't fucking get it.
What's wrong with enjoying the company of your chick?
What's wrong with just letting things develop naturally?
What's with the constant need to qualify one's statements about your relationships with stuff like "i'm not her bf" and "i've fucked other girls so i don't get oneitus"
Whether it's to prove your alpha status to RVF, or to yourself, that seems to be the motivation behind such statements.
The entire purpose of game and self development is to improve ones life, improve ones social skills and results with women. So what good is any of it if we get so hung up on "not being her bf" ect (and making a point to pad out and qualify our statements here with that claim, in order to not seem beta) when the end result is you end up losing a chick you actually do care about, even if you claim you don't? The proof is in the putting, and there's a whole 'lotta putting here in this thread.
Bottom line, OP, and Jack Smith, is if you don't invest in a chick, eventually...eventually, they move on. Tight game will extend this grace period, but only for so long. So either decide you want to be with a chick or don't and when the time comes to make that decision, make it. Or it will be made for you.
Overgaming and internet alpha'ing is a real thing.
Rhyme or Reason's post here should be stickied and read by everyone in the game forum. Nothing wrong with having some feelings for a chick and enjoying her company. Another thing I'd add is why is that dudes take so much pleasure in fucking other dude's gf's and then laughing at the poor guy behind his back. I've never understood how that makes you more "alpha". To me it makes you an insecure fucking asshole.
(This post was last modified: 05-01-2017 01:44 PM by doc holliday.)
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| 05-01-2017 01:43 PM |
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This Is Trouble
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kaotic
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RE: Long Distance Plate Spinning (Help Needed)
Dude just this thread is more work than she's probably worth.
This sounds like an awful headache with you repeating over and over about her.
You can't have your cake and eat it in this scenario.
My "different hoes in different area codes" was a figure of speech, not to be taken literally.
In you case you have different girls in different countries.
With these types of girls you lock them down as a sure thing when you come to town - you do this by maintaining a friendly but infrequent texting/messaging with them.
These girls you filter should know the score when you come to town and when you're away.
I've use, "When I'm with you I'm with you, when I'm not, I'm not." To decent effect on woman
It's PAINFULLY clear that's not the case with this girl in question.
You're literally trying to have a relationship with this girl while traveling to other countries.
It's IMPOSSIBLE, and worse yet you've let a TON of emotions get involved between you two.
To matters even more worse, there are other men involved, what you two do with other people is an obvious open secret.
A hottie with options ISN'T going to wait around for you unless you got some A grade game man.
OF COURSE she wants monogamy, she openly admits, the other guy is a "safe bet" meaning she's "settling" for this dude. AKA she'd dump his ass in a minute if you committed, but let's be real, you won't, she's isn't wifey material.
You need to understand, if you travel alot, the relationships you have will just be flings, the women will be fleeting, unless they tag along with you on your trips.
There's alot you need to admit and accept in order to see what this whole relationship with this girl is.
Fundamentally - you've got the game lifestyle and seem seasoned.
From a game perspective, you've got alot to work on, especially figuring what a women is to you in a given situation.
My Year in Review Guides 2014|2015|2016
Podcast with H3ltrsk3ltr, Cobra, and Vinman.
IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO LEAVE RVF FEEL FREE TO DIRECT MESSAGE ME SO WE CAN STAY IN TOUCH
(This post was last modified: 05-01-2017 05:01 PM by kaotic.)
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| 05-01-2017 04:57 PM |
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kaotic
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RE: Long Distance Plate Spinning (Help Needed)
One can dream that's absolutely fine, but going back to the same result with her over and over, that's called insanity dude.
The juice isn't worth the squeeze, if you're this successful, it shouldn't be hard to find another hottie like her on your travels.
You've got the time, money, and resources.
Hell it'd be amazing if you wrote up a data sheet on you became so successful and how you were able to retire so early.
My Year in Review Guides 2014|2015|2016
Podcast with H3ltrsk3ltr, Cobra, and Vinman.
IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO LEAVE RVF FEEL FREE TO DIRECT MESSAGE ME SO WE CAN STAY IN TOUCH
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| 05-01-2017 05:38 PM |
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RatInTheWoods
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RE: Long Distance Plate Spinning (Help Needed)
(05-01-2017 12:10 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote: I'm going to go against the grain here and say social media isn't the problem. At least not in this situation. Most of the time when a guy posts about 'his girl' putting up pics of other guys on Facebook, ect, there is a fair number of replies telling him that social media is the problem, when it's really just a symptom.
If a chick is yours, she isn't posting pics of her going out with other guys on facebook. It's really that simple. The problem here is that she doesn't care about OP.
This chick isn't his, I don't think the OP is delusional enough to think she is his.
Not the way it works with chicks in Asia. Sure she's like to marry and defund him, but her heart is not his.
In some ways they both similar to each other, simply using each other in an loveless display of resources for GFE transaction, in travel format. Common setup in Asia.
But Asia has the added layer of "face", and when I say social media is at the heart of the problem, I mean she is losing face when her girls see the dude being a butterfly.
When you are "playing the game" (GFE for resources) in Asia, you have to play the game. You can't pretend she isn't your soulmate, can't mention other girls etc etc
Also, shes lost interest because hes been tight, asking for money and not paying for the honey.
Couple this with a new meal tick on the scene, and well shes lost to him.
They only way you will get her back on tour is if you cut the media feed, AND it fits in with Beta boyfriend being back in Denmark... AND you start paying for shit again.
Then she love you long time like before.
(This post was last modified: 05-01-2017 06:41 PM by RatInTheWoods.)
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| 05-01-2017 06:38 PM |
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kaotic
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RE: Long Distance Plate Spinning (Help Needed)
OP your post isn't helping anyone - it actually shows how much simping you're doing and how much of a pedestal you're putting this gold digging whore on.
This is sadly hilarious - OP didn't learn A DAMN THING from the advice on this forum.
Still chasing a used and abused gold digger with a cucked boyfriend.
What a joke - good god social media is cancer.
Here are lessons player's should take away from this:
-Don't be a SIMP
-Screen girls carefully
-It's not your pussy, it's just your turn
-Always have different girls on deck
-Don't ever put a girl on a pedestal
-If you know a girl is a gold digger, don't give her shit, let her earn your lifestyle
-Avoid social media, and avoid adding hoes to your social media
-Long distant relationships DO NOT WORK
-Most of all: AVOID mistakes OP made.
My Year in Review Guides 2014|2015|2016
Podcast with H3ltrsk3ltr, Cobra, and Vinman.
IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO LEAVE RVF FEEL FREE TO DIRECT MESSAGE ME SO WE CAN STAY IN TOUCH
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| 05-11-2017 05:42 PM |
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Travel Museums
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RE: Long Distance Plate Spinning (Help Needed)
You guys have this ideal in your heads which is fine. I do too. But I'm not stuck on it.
I have to live in the real world. Most attractive SEA women who fuck with foreigners have a similar scenario. I stopped being so bothered by this shit. With this specific girl I figured as much from day one!
She has a combo of positive qualities that are hard to find. Especially when you're traveling around. Attractive, sweet, caring, paid for herself, is trustworthy not to steal, speaks English, gives amazing massage, never complains, not annoying, etc.
I don't know why some of you get so hung up on me paying $10 for guesthouses, or $100 for her ticket home. She paid me back.
On a previous trip I was gansta. I made her pay for my entire hotel stay. She did it without blinking in eye.
I'm not saying she's a "good girl" nor a "bad girl". That childish. Some guys go to SEA to find a traditional virgin and wife her. It's possible I guess. I'm not trying to do that.
Put yourself in this girl's shoes. She grew up in a village foraging for food and bathing in a river. You expect her to waste her youth and looks working in a factory when dudes be like let me buy you a house, car, sponsor your entire family? I don't.
At the same time she was lazy and dumb not to get some kind of education or skill that could make her independent. So she's stuck with no job skills and dependable way to earn decent money.
What I hope guys can take away from this is seeing both sides of the coin. This is an issue for guys getting involved with hot uneducated girls in SEA. I read the Bangkok and Fisto threads so I wasn't naive about it. It sounded like they loved every minute of it. Kudos. I had my fun too.
But now I have no interest partying instead of sightseeing and plugging away at average chicks who ended up stealing, blackmailing, etc. I want time to enjoy the travel.
I went to every single destination in Laos and Chiang Rai with this girl. It was awesome. The drama was annoying. So I'm just looking for better ways to manage it. There been some guts making comments on social media making things worse. I agree. I know it's a symptom. But I'm a millennial. I'm not ready to give it up.
I think what most some of you have a hard time understanding is my prioritizing the travel over new pussy (or maybe trying to find an educated chick on a gap year). I don't care much about having a two week vacation with a wealthy upper class girl. I did that many times already. They end up giving me the same girly routine too. Plus their personalities and massage sucks. I'll just take the massage and manage the drama. Sue me.
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| 05-11-2017 09:37 PM |
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thebassist
Chubby Chaser
 
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RE: Long Distance Plate Spinning (Help Needed)
I've got a somewhat different take on this whole situation. Maybe I'm being a bit of a white knight here (feel free to criticize), but here goes:
Like you said she has zero employable skills, and those half-hearted plans to learn how to sew for a living are most likely delusional, since I'd hazard a guess that the average Lao who earns a living sewing is living a lifestyle level with the poverty line.
Since you say you 'live in the real world', what do you have to offer this girl besides dick and good company? And what do you think is going to happen once her looks continue to fade (since it seems like she's approaching that stage), and you no longer want to fuck her? Given the amount of red flags that have been brought up over the course of this thread there's no way you're going to consider wifing her up or anything like that.
I can tell you actually care for this girl and are quite emotionally invested in her. How are you going to deal with the reality of her getting older, and her realizing that she's going to slide slowly into poverty and drudgery, and that she's missed her last chance to snag a ticket out? It's the fucking third world man, I think you're forgetting this in whatever romantic notions you have for stretching out your relationship with this girl, but there are no fucking safety nets out there, especially once her looks have dried up. The whole time that she's going through this process she will put you through the emotional rollercoaster with her, as she comes to terms with the fact that she missed her chance. Once the panic truly hits, she will be doing absolutely everything in her power to get you to save her, since it would be because of you that she turned away the previous suitors who could have guaranteed some kind of security. You'd have to be one cold-ass motherfucker to just shrug it off, and just say fuck it, walk away, and leave her with the cold hard reality of being a post-wall woman with absolutely nothing to offer in a third-world country. Again, what do you think is going to happen at this point?
The best course of action would be to cut off your relationship completely (spend some time in the no-contact thread) and just let her snag up some foreign beta with whatever remains of her looks. Trust me, it will be easier on your conscience this way, rather than to squeeze out the last drops of fun and sex, and then be dragged along as you watch her life slowly descend into misery.
There was a pretty interesting thread a while back (I've searched but I can't find it), where the premise was that you should drop any girl that you're dating after a specified period of time (maybe 1-2) years if she's in her peak years as a female- the premise being that you are taking away her best future options for her by wasting away her youth with no intention of commitment (which is a huge shame if the girl in question has positive qualities). This should honestly count triple in a third-world country, where the implications of not being able to find a reasonable suitor for a woman with absolutely no skills are pretty fucking dire.
So in my opinion, if you do actually care about her well-being as you say, just walk away man. It will be better for the both of you.
RVF Fearless Coindogger Crew
(This post was last modified: 05-18-2017 04:30 AM by thebassist.)
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| 05-18-2017 04:24 AM |
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Gorgiass
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Travel Museums
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RE: Long Distance Plate Spinning (Help Needed)
I try to nut outside her pussy. No babies.
I do love and care for this girl. But common did you read all the shit she has gotten away with? It started long before me. She had a guy buy her house, car, parents house, educated all her siblings, and tried to get her to study in Univ 3 times. Offered his business to her before leaving.
Whiles she's a hard worker in some ways she's extremely lazy and stubborn in others. She's accelerated her own decline by not even exercising. I ask her what she did today. She never does anything besides hangout!
How do you help someone like that? With the constant lying too boot? You can't. You really can't. And yet I've still tried.
If anything I've done my part to straighten her out without being a total drag. I did offer her a free revenue generating website which she's to lazy to accept and put effort into maintaining. Even tried to SHOW her. At least she got a trip all around her own country. If she hadn't Fucked up she'd be getting one now all around the USA.
She's told me over and over she chooses me while one of her two facebooks still says she's in a relationship with another dude! Or in the same convo bringing that dude up right after saying she'll forget him.
She knows exactly what she's doing. So do I. She still can't figure out my tolerance/immunity to it.
You really think I'm to blame?
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| 05-18-2017 01:57 PM |
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Ringo
Alpha Male
   
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RE: Long Distance Plate Spinning (Help Needed)
What a clusterfuck.
What was the question again? Advice on how to manage the relationship?
The consensus is get out. Spare yourself from the drama and, more importantly, protect yourself from possible serious consequences. That's the general advice - you're just not listening.
You ramble back and forth too much and it's very hard to keep track. I guess it's just a symptom of how your brain and dick are hamstering in favor of keeping her.
No offense, it's hard to sympathize with you. You have money and time and can travel to exotic locations, yet you insist on putting yourself in a terrible position.
There's so many posts on this forum about guys with specific issues about girls. They think their situation is unique, but it's not.
Phoenix's post on Page 1 was excellent. Either you crap or get out of the pot.
There's no holding onto people, times, situations, locations. You can only enjoy the moment while it lasts because it's always changing. To expect anything else is half naiveté, half recklessness.
In your shoes, as soon as another dude contacted me I'd be like:
Maybe it's not apparent to you, but for many people here your situation is a mix of oneitis, arrogance and selfishness. I think you're just lacking enough distance from it to be able to see it for what it is.
Datasheets São Paulo, BR | Diamantina, BR | Osijek, HR | My most reliable opener
(This post was last modified: 05-18-2017 03:17 PM by Ringo.)
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| 05-18-2017 03:16 PM |
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Ringo
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RE: Long Distance Plate Spinning (Help Needed)
(05-18-2017 03:20 PM)Travel Museums Wrote: Or I don't care
Right. This is literally how much you wrote in this thread, and I might have missed a post or two:
Still think you don't care?
Datasheets São Paulo, BR | Diamantina, BR | Osijek, HR | My most reliable opener
(This post was last modified: 05-18-2017 03:37 PM by Ringo.)
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| 05-18-2017 03:37 PM |
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