Post: #1

There is a situation that keeps bugging me for a few days and, because I cannot say for sure if I made the correct decision or not, I'd like to ask you.

A few years I met a girl. A bit taller than I am, about an 8 in my scale. We were in downtown Cluj, holding hands, making kinky jokes, she was giving me IOIs... the whole 9 yards. During this interaction, she tells me that we're going to spend the night at the place of a few of her friends and we're going to have our room.

As the time goes on, we're getting ready to go to her friends' place. At one point, we are in the bus station and I know that it's a very good moment to go for the kiss. But I also think like this: I can kiss her now, or I can wait until we get to her friends' place, in our room, then move for the kill. We can have sex without any problems.

What would you choose if you were in my shoes? I won't give you more details (for now), because I don't want to influence your answer.

Post: #2

Lay it on early dude. Nothing to lose, you're already spending the night. Hard one to fuck up.

A good temp guage is to give her hand little playful squeezes and look her in the eyes with a smile. If she gets flustered or can't fight a smile, yer in. Mayor of Poundtown.

Get it. Good luck...

Post: #3

Don't think too much. There is never a perfect time to kiss a girl. If you want to kiss her on the bus, kiss her on the bus.

Post: #4

Do whatever you need to - she essentially told you that the notch was guaranteed. As long as you don't fuck up, you'll be fine.

Post: #5

It's good to push for it early to show that you're willing to push for it.

Some people do reccomend keeping the make outs and stuff to a minimum to give you more plausible deniability when trying to take things to the bed. This girl seems like a sure thing anyway, so I don't think it'll matter either way.

Post: #6

What happened with the girl?

Post: #7

It doesn't hurt you to kiss her early. It can hurt you to not kiss her early.

G

Post: #8

I didn't get the part about "We can have sex without any problems.", But you are hesitating about the kiss.

There are mixed opinions in the forum. Some people CAN go for the kiss in the early moments but prefer to wait until they are in the private place and escalate directly.

Post: #9

Kiss when you want to kiss, do what you want to, Pick-Up is for faggots.

Post: #10

Thanks for your replies

(04-16-2017 10:05 AM)Cheetah Wrote:  What happened with the girl?

I chose the second route, to wait until we are in our room. Unfortunately, her friends arranged the logistics a bit different, so as the girls slept in a room and the guys in other room. Situation lost, set fucked up.

I always wondered if it was bad game from my part, or if I was plain unlucky, given how the situation developed. Now I know the answer for sure.

Post: #11

I always strike when the iron is hot. If I feel like I can get a kiss, I take it.

Never count your chickens before they hatch.

Post: #12

Was your goal to kiss her or have sex with her?

"When" you kissed her in this situation would of made no difference as your logistics determined whether you were going to bang or not....Unless you had an alternate plan to take her somewhere else

For future reference. You dont light the fuse on a firecracker until you want it to go off right?

Attraction+Comfort+Arousal+Logistics=Sex

When done properly its one seamless process. Interrupting that process just introduces many more variables that can potentially snuff it out

Generally speaking waiting until you are in the bang location until you "light the fuse" (with a make out) is way more effective. From what you've provided you were missing a key (in my opinion THE key) component of the formula

Post: #13

(04-18-2017 09:47 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Was your goal to kiss her or have sex with her?

Sex, of course.

(04-18-2017 09:47 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  From what you've provided you were missing a key (in my opinion THE key) component of the formula

Maybe I expressed myself poorly: the logistics were all set: an apartment of 2 of her friends (m+f). The 2 friends were going to sleep in a room and us together in a second room. Or so she told me. The logistics were real (she didn't lie), the only (unexpected) change was that the female friend would sleep with her and I was about to sleep with the chap (non-sexually, of course).

Post: #14

(04-18-2017 09:47 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Was your goal to kiss her or have sex with her?

"When" you kissed her in this situation would of made no difference as your logistics determined whether you were going to bang or not....Unless you had an alternate plan to take her somewhere else

For future reference. You dont light the fuse on a firecracker until you want it to go off right?

Attraction+Comfort+Arousal+Logistics=Sex

When done properly its one seamless process. Interrupting that process just introduces many more variables that can potentially snuff it out

Generally speaking waiting until you are in the bang location until you "light the fuse" (with a make out) is way more effective. From what you've provided you were missing a key (in my opinion THE key) component of the formula

I agree. I feel like I've lost a couple bangs to premature make out sessions. Tends to happen when you're drunk and in the moment.

Post: #15

(04-18-2017 11:13 AM)Zanardi Wrote:  

(04-18-2017 09:47 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Was your goal to kiss her or have sex with her?

Sex, of course.

(04-18-2017 09:47 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  From what you've provided you were missing a key (in my opinion THE key) component of the formula

Maybe I expressed myself poorly: the logistics were all set: an apartment of 2 of her friends (m+f). The 2 friends were going to sleep in a room and us together in a second room. Or so she told me. The logistics were real (she didn't lie), the only (unexpected) change was that the female friend would sleep with her and I was about to sleep with the chap (non-sexually, of course).

Then you failed in the seduction sequence along the way somehow. If you hadn't then she wouldn't have decided to sleep in the other room (And yes it was her decision) If you had created enough attraction then by definition she would have insisted on being alone with you. It happens

Post: #16

General consensus seems to be that you shouldn't kiss her at the venue, but hold out until you're in an appropriate place to bang. I have to say I agree.

Post: #17

(04-19-2017 10:33 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Then you failed in the seduction sequence along the way somehow. If you hadn't then she wouldn't have decided to sleep in the other room (And yes it was her decision) If you had created enough attraction then by definition she would have insisted on being alone with you. It happens

Seduction or attraction? If I am not wrong, the seduction part is when I take things to the next level.

However, I never thought about this situation from this angle. I my mind I thought that I had enough attraction to go for touchdown. So, the initial decision of when to kiss her wasn't the problem, but bad game was.

Post: #18

(04-20-2017 12:21 AM)Zanardi Wrote:  

(04-19-2017 10:33 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Then you failed in the seduction sequence along the way somehow. If you hadn't then she wouldn't have decided to sleep in the other room (And yes it was her decision) If you had created enough attraction then by definition she would have insisted on being alone with you. It happens

Seduction or attraction? If I am not wrong, the seduction part is when I take things to the next level.

However, I never thought about this situation from this angle. I my mind I thought that I had enough attraction to go for touchdown. So, the initial decision of when to kiss her wasn't the problem, but bad game was.

It's hard to say from the limited details. But based on what you did provide:

A) She stated before the date that you guys were going to be sleeping in the same room

B) You ended up sleeping in separate rooms

Logically something went wrong in between then. Right? Maybe bad game but a million other possibilities as well

Every situation is different, but generally speaking

Attraction+Comfort+Arousal+Logistics=Sex works best when seamless.

So back to your original question "kiss now or later?"

Kissing is different to us guys than it is to girls. We get turned on making out and consider that "progress" in the right direction. We are happy picking up right where we left off and continue forward to the bang

Remember: pretty girls in their early to mid 20's have likely been "kissing boys" for a decade (or more). Kissing in of itself doesn't mean shit to them

Kissing is however a key part of the "arousal" stage of the above sequence because it's part of the emotional intimacy component needed to allow some guy they hardly know to penetrate their body (much more vulnerability on their part means much higher level of trust/intimacy: aka comfort) .

If you interrupt that sequence then you are actually usually taking several steps back (for her) in that sequence.

Dont light that fuse until you want the firecracker to go "bang"

Now or later is really irrelevant. You wait to kiss when you are in the bang location

Post: #19

Kiss always