Post: #1

I suppose some of you are wondering why I haven't posted as much since November.

Well, my life has definitely had a change in direction. I used to be religious about condom use. If the chick attached to the vagina I was having sex with was risky enough, sometimes I'd put on two or three rain-jackets.

I decided to try rawdogging on my birthday back last June. It was exhilarating! After one time, I couldn't stop.

Well, what goes up, must come down. That's how Suits Jr happened. The girl said she was on birth control. I think she lied. It is what it is. All's fair in love and war.

Anyway, I manned-up and married her in January. My Malaysia trip was actually for my wedding. It was a destination wedding.

Baby arrived in February. What a treat! A lot of guys knock the responsibility of parenthood, but you can't judge a book by the cover. I don't sleep much anymore, but it's worth it! I can't wait to start training Suits Jr in all the game techniques I've learned living in Asia. Couldn't be happier.

Having a kid and wife who doesn't work isn't cheap, but money can't buy happiness.

Life with the missus is an adventure! I get sex at least once every three weeks and she has promised me a blowjob on my birthday!

It's just like they say. Marriage takes work! There's give and take. Nothing worth having in life is easy.

All I can say is that the playboy lifestyle is over-rated. You guys really need to stop banging forgettable pussy and learn a lesson from respectable choices I've made. But that's neither here nor there.

I've done a lot of thinking over the last ten months. I've realized that people are our most valuable asset and that everything happens for a reason. I've also learned that you have to live every moment like it's your last.

I know that there are other strong, masculine man who have also chosen the correct path in life and become fathers. Great minds think alike. For the rest of you, I just want you to know that God has a plan for you. Seeking a righteous path isn't always easy, but if at first you don't succeed, try try again. This stuff isn't rocket science.

Marriage and strong, stable families have been the bedrock of society for thousands of years. Let's not re-invent the wheel. But that's just my personal opinion.

Sure, the playboy phase of my life had its fun moments, but when it ends (and it should, if you're a real man), don't be sad because it's over, be glad that it happened. We are where we are. To be fair, I think that I deserve any think bad that happens to me. I've hurt and taken advantage of a lot of women in my pursuit of momentary pleasure. What goes around comes around. Be careful what you wish for.

It's not all bad, though. Nice guys finish last. Well, I feel like I finished in first place. Having the responsibility of a family has also helped me to be a more effective man. I've learned to work smarter, not harder. And after all, Rome wasn't built in a day.

Sometimes you just gotta go with the flow and accept the direct that life has taken for you and help it to mold you into the person you were always meant to be. I've learned to think outside the box, to take lemons and make lemonade, and to fail harder. I've also learned that perception is reality, patience is a virtue and that God never gives us more than we can bare. Marriage and fatherhood might be a lot of responsibility, but it's also served as an inspiration to learn how to not only work harder, but also play harder. And sometimes the best things in life are free.

The best part of being a family man is that now I have a partner in life. And there's no "i" in team.

I know some of you may be worried about me, but just think about how much worse others have it. My life isn't bad. We've split up the chores. My wife cooks a delicious dinner about once a month and I cook the other meals. I've hired a maid to do our laundry and clean house, as my wife is busy writing her novella and just to prove that masculinity comes in many forms, I do all of the diaper changes.

I wish I had time to write more, but Suits Jr is crying again (still hasn't adjusted to a regular sleep cycle) and I gotta go be a father. Such is life. It's always darkest before the dawn.

For those of you who aren't ready for the challenge of manning up that I've presented to you in the post, I'm sorry that it wasn't what you wanted to hear. I know that the customer is always right, but with all due respect, remember that all men are created equal and people regret the things that they didn't do. Everything always works out in the end. Don't be afraid to take a leap of faith. Sometimes you just have to dive in with both feet.

Members with at least 1 rep point are welcome to PM me if interested in receiving mentorship on how to be a real man in this age of broken promises and widespread fear of commitment.

Thanks in advance for all the congratulations.

Post: #2

Nice try...

Post: #3

I got about 2 paragraphs in before it dawned on me

Post: #4

OP or otherwise.
It's probably best if everyone turns off from the ol' inet on April 1st.

Post: #5

Post: #6

Damn it Suits way to do it in the most obvious way. Should have just told everyone you've been downgrading to 3s. Much simpler way more believable.

2/10 I'm disappoint.

Now to wait on El Mech's thread

Post: #7

Have fun stormin da castle!

God save us from people who mean well. -storm

Post: #8

Congratulations! Not to steal your thunder, but I just got engaged to this little number:



She told me to wire her $10,000 and I did, so she's flying over from Japan and we're gonna get hitched!

Post: #9

Anywhere else, and on any other day, you'd be believed.

Gosh I love this forum.

Post: #10

Oh yeah...

Suits wife is a bonafide 10/10 tranny.

Met them over drinks while he dropped by Penang.

True story.

Not sure about the kid though...

Post: #11

Post: #12

(04-01-2017 02:21 AM)DrugAdvisor Wrote:  Not sure about the kid though...

I'm actually not entirely sure he's mine.

But it doesn't really matter. Fatherhood is a noble calling that transcends DNA tests.

Post: #13

Interesting work of satire.

If it is truth, then your path to the Blue Pill is already cemented. Have fun cooking, working and changing diapers.

Also - waifu is lying, you will never get that blowjob on your birthday.

Post: #14

Nice try Suits but what about blowjob week?

Post: #15

(04-01-2017 03:24 AM)Oz. Wrote:  Nice try Suits but what about blowjob week?

I have successfully introduced threesome saturday. The least a married man has to have is 52 threesomes each year.

Post: #16

I am Suits child's mother, Transsexuals can get pregnant you guys!

Post: #17

Post: #18

Not a joke: I'm married (to a filipina) and it's certainly not once every three weeks. How about twice a day.

Post: #19

(04-01-2017 03:55 AM)DeusVult Wrote:  Not a joke: I'm married (to a filipina) and it's certainly not once every three weeks. How about twice a day.

Hope you're taking zinc supplements.

What's your job, man. Doorstop?

Post: #20

I worked in academia but am currently unemployed. And living off severance.

When I was working it was once a day.

Post: #21

(04-01-2017 03:55 AM)DeusVult Wrote:  Not a joke: I'm married (to a filipina) and it's certainly not once every three weeks. How about twice a day.

Honeymoon?

Post: #22

I just stormed into my apartment drunk from a night out with most venues consisting of 90% dudes and then you drop this shit on me.

I'm currently eating oatmeal to thwart a hangover and i'm still very triggered right now.

Post: #23

Obvious April 1st joke is obvious.

Post: #24

Checks date... Nice try, Suits.

Post: #25

Got a quarter of the way through before I realized...