Post: #26

Thanks guys for all your input!

I believe it's psychological, maybe i'll keep some ed drugs handy for the next time this might come up just to break through this self fulfilling prophecy because after so many years of this happening i go into new experiences with someone new with all this bullshit in my mind from the past.. and also thanks for the links above i'll re-read the old threads..

Post: #27

(03-05-2017 07:45 AM)Spaniard88 Wrote:  There's no such thing as bad head.

knock on wood lol

Post: #28

Filio be careful of creating a psychological dependance on the drugs.

If you take one and it works, then the next time if you dont have one itll be one extra factor that you will worry about.

Since there is nothing wrong physically id say avoid the drugs.

Post: #29

(03-08-2017 03:21 PM)filio Wrote:  Thanks guys for all your input!

I believe it's psychological, maybe i'll keep some ed drugs handy for the next time this might come up just to break through this self fulfilling prophecy because after so many years of this happening i go into new experiences with someone new with all this bullshit in my mind from the past.. and also thanks for the links above i'll re-read the old threads..

Bruh, how old are you? I would not go anywhere near that shit if you don't have to. That being said, I don't even take Advil for headaches so I'm not hatin' on people that do take it.

I've been in your position before and have, for the most part, overcome it. The following are my recommendations:

First and foremost, no-fap is a must, this is the foundation. Your dick has to actually be sensitive enough to spring up amidst natural anxiety. If you're fapping daily no-fap for a week minimum. You'll notice that if you no-fap for 1-2 weeks after chronically masturbating that it feels good just to grab your dick without looking at anything. Now just imagine if a cute chick was doing it.

Second, (or if fapping is not an issue) you need to control the pace of the entire interaction leading up to and including the sex itself. What do I mean by this? Well it depends on your experience level. There are guys here that can go straight to a girl's place (or have them come over) without ever meeting them and spit game, get their clothes off, get hard, and blow their back out without issue. I'm not there yet and it sounds like neither are you.

So here's some ways you can do it:

If a girl wants you to come straight to her place or go to yours without meeting previously, casually slow down the pace and say "hey let's grab a drink at such and such." Usually that alone works and builds her comfort as well since you don't come across as horny and desperate, so it's a win-win. If she questions it just joke about how you have so many leads that you need to screen her or make sure she's not a catfish (FYI if you got her from online game there's prob a good 40% chance she's fatter in real life compared to her pics anyway so you may reconsider the whole thing - this gives you an easy out, another win-win). Maybe there's a venue you're used to and comfortable with, try to go there. For me the venue doesn't matter, but it gives me a chance to at least run through a slapped together routine of mine, get comfortable around her, and gradually ramp up the sexual tension. If we've been talking for a bit already, I'll usually open with a casual one-arm hug, say what's up, and start some sort of conversation. From there I can feel out if she's normal, aggressive, or passive which is important. If you show up to a girls place and she's real aggressive, shit testing you left and right, that dick probably isn't coming up even if you do manage getting her clothes off.

Next, advance things to either her place or yours. When it comes to the sex, you still need to control the pace as well and know what you like and want. If she tries to do something different just don't let her. In my case for example, I haven't met a girl yet that can give me a decent blowjob without significant training. As a result, I just don't let a girl blow me the first time, because I know chances are that I'll go limp if she does. If she drops to her knees and tries to be a little porn star I just pick her ass back up and continue doing whatever we were doing previously. For me, I just like some good kissing, a handjob to get me hard, start with some missionary, and go from there. This is my sex profile, and by God, we're sticking to the fucking profile. A handjob is also something that you can easily control, either by putting your hand on hers or giving verbal commands, so it's an excellent go to. Plus if you're used to fapping it's very predictable.

Moral of the story, get a routine down for the lead-up to the sex and the sex itself. The less experienced you are, the slower the pace needs to be. The vast majority of girls have no fucking idea what they're doing in bed and require training, so don't expect them to blow your mind. Also we're all different and prefer different things. Hope this helps, best of luck.

Post: #30

I've always had large issues with keeping a boner while using condoms. The problem is not the condom itself, I'm not allergic to the material or stuff. The problem is those fucking seconds that you have to pause for grabbing, opening and mounting the fucking condom, while you have the girl staring at you and how you do it. They always look at you while you're doing that. Hell, why can't they just close their fucking eyes and rub their own pussy until you're done with it, and stick it inside her.

I never understood why, but I have deep issues with being watched while doing that, and immediately my rock hard boner will go soft and tiny like whilst watching granny porn. It's bad with girls that I'm fucking repeatedly, but even worse with new girls who I fuck for the first time. I just can't have them watch me putting on a condom.

Never any issues with keeping my dick hard without condoms. Neither in a relationship nor whilst fucking a new girl for the first time.

Post: #31

(03-11-2017 03:53 PM)goldenhinde Wrote:  I've always had large issues with keeping a boner while using condoms. The problem is not the condom itself, I'm not allergic to the material or stuff. The problem is those fucking seconds that you have to pause for grabbing, opening and mounting the fucking condom, while you have the girl staring at you and how you do it. They always look at you while you're doing that. Hell, why can't they just close their fucking eyes and rub their own pussy until you're done with it, and stick it inside her.

I never understood why, but I have deep issues with being watched while doing that, and immediately my rock hard boner will go soft and tiny like whilst watching granny porn. It's bad with girls that I'm fucking repeatedly, but even worse with new girls who I fuck for the first time. I just can't have them watch me putting on a condom.

Never any issues with keeping my dick hard without condoms. Neither in a relationship nor whilst fucking a new girl for the first time.

Hand it to her and tell her to do it. She will fumble around and you will end up doing it, and making sure it is on right, but she will be playing with it and keep you hard.

Post: #32

Condom? What's a condom?

Post: #33

The solution here is simple

1) Stop masterbating.
2) Cialias.
3) Find hotter girls.

Do at least one of the above. Do all three and you'll have the biggest boner going.

Post: #34

(03-11-2017 03:53 PM)goldenhinde Wrote:  I've always had large issues with keeping a boner while using condoms. The problem is not the condom itself, I'm not allergic to the material or stuff. The problem is those fucking seconds that you have to pause for grabbing......

That happened to me for the first time 2 weeks ago... I can't explain why. In this case it was the second time with this girl. At first everything fine... Then put on the bag, and went like spagetti. Took the shit off, and all fine again. put the condom back and not even 5 seconds passed and I was unable to drill. I hated it!.

Post: #35

While I think No Fap would help, the root is anxiety. I used to have this problem too. I got over it by just thinking of the woman as less than me. Porn seriously fucks with you in this way because you see women getting railed insanely hard by guys who get up no problem, last forever, and have huge dicks. This legit causes performance anxiety since you're comparing yourself to the top 0.01% of male sexual beings. Of course you can't realistically compare to them, they have gifted genetics, viagra, other drugs, camera tricks, practice and editing. So stop watching porn. Start thinking of how this woman is lucky to be lying naked in front of you. Take control of the situation and be confident. Realize that the average guy isn't amazing at sex and who gives a fuck if she's comparing you to her previous partners. Seriously, who cares? You're fucking her because you enjoy it, you enjoying it will help her enjoy it too. Practice helps too. If you're familiar with the process and intricate details leading up to sex then you'll be less nervous. Hope that helps.

Post: #36

normal with new girls. i have had this happen especially if we have been dry humping for a while and she dosent want to go all the way or shes on the rag.

Post: #37

To the OP.. You have been offered many solutions, and guesses as to cause.
Anxiety... all in your head... self fulfilling prophesy.. performance anxiety.. mental blocks.

And they are all correct, to a certain degree. But we need to FIX this!

Let me pose a test for you to try. Next time you are with a comfortable girl of yours.
One who you never have any issues or sexually related problems with, try this.

Just before you are getting ready to do the deed. Stop yourself, and try to replicate
your previous issues. Think about it, and see what happens. Do you lose your boner?
If not, you may have just ended that problem with other girls permanently.

If you still can follow through, and plow her into oblivion, which I bet you will..
it very well could be Problem Solved. You will have "adjusted" your frame.

Good luck bud.

Post: #38

By no means am I an expert but this has happened to me a few times. What do I do? tell her my snake ain't working right now and I just lay back with her and converse ( naked ). The whole point of this is to get comfortable and overcome any anxiety you still may have. Within 15-20 minutes you'll be jackhammering her sweet poon. Another tip is to stop worrying about your performance, unless you wanna make this girl a regular, the only thing that should be on your mind is busting YOUR nut. Also no pr0n helps. You can always see a doctor as it could be a more serious issue.

Take care fellow player

Post: #39

Thanks guys for the input, I'll try out your theory The Breeze thanks!
And will also leave the drugs at the pharmacy where they belong, i'm late twenties so no need for ed meds...

It's definitely the anxiety and comfort thing.. with some new girls it works after we've been talking for 30 minutes or so and just lay there naked, with others it won't work the whole first night... I guess I need more experience and more situations like this and will hopefully grow out of it some day...

cheers folks