Post: #26

Nobody who's never contemplated suicide really understands what it's all about. They tend to toss out clichés that the person should "just do (x) or (y), because what have you got to lose?"

When you hit an ultra-serious slump in your life it's like the world shrinks around you yard by yard until you're literally living in your own head driving yourself insane with negative thoughts. Your only interactions with the world exist to fulfil what obligations are required to keep you alive. Food. Water. Shelter. Addictions. Everything else is an insane asylum that you build in your own head. A mentally constructed padded cell full of the ghosts of your past and the horrors you perceive the future to hold.

I only escaped that place when I found something worth dying for, and when you find something worth dying for it's not hard to flip it into something worth living for.

But that's the trouble. Everyone's exit door from that place is different, so what worked for me won't do it for the next guy.

Post: #27

It isn't because men "struggle to meet" the masculine ideals set out by society, but because society actively cockblocks dudes trying to improve themselves.

The job market is/was complete shit, so a lot of young men who would derive pride and confidence from holding a real job and being able to provide for themselves live, in their single mom's basement while she gets banged by her biker boyfriend. lozlozlozlozlzolzolzozloz. Kidding, but the job thing is true. I remember feeling like a complete failure when I was 22 because I couldn't even get a job at Mcdonalds right after the economy collapsed.

The dating market is abysmal for many men in the west. Unless you were one of those dudes who was constantly hustling from an early age the deck is stacked against you. I always try and tell my younger family members to make sure they're hitting the gym, thinking of side hustles and planning their future. If you aren't, you'll get left in the dust and with today's hypergamous dating market, you better make sure you're solid, becuase if you're not solid to the core it shows in your game.

The west is a great place to live in many regards, but you better not let yourself slip behind or you can find yourself in a situation that looks quite hopeless.

Post: #28

In rational human beings, suicidal thoughts and/or actions occur when hope for a happy and successful future is lost. These feelings often intensify with age. Every man worth his salt has felt this at some point in his life... its the nasty byproduct of ambition and the loneliness brought on by the modern Western lifestyle.

Take the forums advice and blast out of your bubble. Go to SEA or Eastern Europe, bang some sluts or better yet, find someone of value there. You need to immerse yourself in a traditional culture to regain your sanity. No different then how zookeepers do their best to recreate the wild with their animals. All of us in the West live in an unnatural environment and its no surprise depression is so common among us.

Post: #29

(09-10-2016 10:09 PM)Fortis Wrote:  It isn't because men "struggle to meet" the masculine ideals set out by society, but because society actively cockblocks dudes trying to improve themselves.

The job market is/was complete shit, so a lot of young men who would derive pride and confidence from holding a real job and being able to provide for themselves live, in their single mom's basement while she gets banged by her biker boyfriend. lozlozlozlozlzolzolzozloz. Kidding, but the job thing is true. I remember feeling like a complete failure when I was 22 because I couldn't even get a job at Mcdonalds right after the economy collapsed.

The dating market is abysmal for many men in the west. Unless you were one of those dudes who was constantly hustling from an early age the deck is stacked against you. I always try and tell my younger family members to make sure they're hitting the gym, thinking of side hustles and planning their future. If you aren't, you'll get left in the dust and with today's hypergamous dating market, you better make sure you're solid, becuase if you're not solid to the core it shows in your game.

The west is a great place to live in many regards, but you better not let yourself slip behind or you can find yourself in a situation that looks quite hopeless.

Isn't this the truth. If a guy is a virgin, his peers will call him a loser or accuse him of being gay. Yet if he tries to get laid, and he's not in the top 20%, his peers then call him a creep, a pervert, and a potential rapist.

Because of this, a lot of men turn to pornography, which is like heroin and crack for the human brain. It is simply just a quick fix to a bigger problem.

I'm 24 years old and I've had days myself where I felt like ending my life because almost nothing was going right for me. I didn't feel like I would ever go forward in life because I just fell back into a state of complacency when I should have been busting my ass to do more to fix my situation.

But life is an uphill battle, and I intend to turn it around before it's too late.

Post: #30

(09-10-2016 09:42 PM)Soothesayer Wrote:  Mickey Rourke talked about his own suicide attempt. His dog saved him from it. Came right up to him as he sat contemplating death in his closet and said with his eyes:

"If you off yourself here, if you leave me like this, who will love me? Who will feed me?" Mickey put the gun down and decided to live on.

On the subject of pets, take care to make arrangements before your expiration day comes for the sake of your furry faithful ones. Dog. Cat. Parrot. Whatever.

If you fly to the Philippines to escape the matrix, ensure that your cat or dog will be looked after if (heaven forbid) the plane goes down into the ocean. A church member (or even a maid) being told you're going to be out of town and they should check up on them wouldn't be a bad idea.

Dogs just know!

Post: #31

I still struggle with it, even though I'm probably supposed to be past it by now. Heck, now I'm partially afraid and embarrassed to even bring it up even though it's still sometimes there.

Post: #32

I attempted suicide in 2012. I tried to OD on all my meds. A friend noticed that was I really down, called me that night, and then after figuring out I just took a ton of pills called the ambulance and I was taken to the hospital's psych ward after being in the emergency room . I had to drink some charcoal. I was on an IV for about 2 days. Then I was in the psych ward for about 2 weeks. Its hell being in one. Since then I've been determined to keep moving forward with my life because I only have one and I want to prove to myself that I can be successful or at least be happy where I am at. I still have to live with the diagnosis of being bipolar that I had previous. Being on permanent disability and hardly being able to enjoy much of anything on any given day is hell. But I want to exist. I want to prove people wrong. Hence why I have been going to the local university to take classes. I might as well.


I've dealt with episodes of depression that have lasted for months. Its difficult snapping out of it. I have a cycle and I eventually do come out of it. It takes a long time to break out of the cycle of depression though. One problem being the hopelessness has been a factor in my life for years. Years. But whatever. I just try not to be an asshole and just live in a pleasant manner.

I don't think its just a matter of weakness. When your mind is battling you constantly every day, you're isolated, your life prospects look pretty dim then being strong can be difficult. I think what's essential is to reach out to people and for the people in your life to be compassionate and empathetic. Say if I knew a friend was really down I would maybe go on steam or WoW with him and just have some good old fun. If he's a sports fan watch a game together.

My reasons for living are how my family would feel if I killed myself. It would be one the worse things I could do. Just leaving them without me suddenly. I also want to prove the haters wrong about me. I want to live a happy life as revenge. I don't want to be stuck in hell because of other people.

I'm starting to see things from more of a larger perspective than that which I had 4 years ago. There are much bigger issues that affect multitudes of people. Mine aren't overly important in the grand scheme of things. In other news I enjoy reading this forum. It has helped to open my eyes. There are lots of people that are like minded and are great people. I think the point is that the world doesn't revolve around you and your effects on other people can be immense. Don't self pwn.

Post: #33

The real hopeless victims of mental illness are to be found among those who appear to be most normal. "Many of them are normal because they are so well adjusted to our mode of existence, because their human voice has been silenced so early in their lives, that they do not even struggle or suffer or develop symptoms as the neurotic does." They are normal not in what may be called the absolute sense of the word; they are normal only in relation to a profoundly abnormal society. Their perfect adjustment to that abnormal society is a measure of their mental sickness. These millions of abnormally normal people, living without fuss in a society to which, if they were fully human beings, they ought not to be adjusted.

-Aldous Huxley

Post: #34

That's a great quote.

Post: #35

If'n you're into poetry. Here's something to leave you with a tough case of melancholia. It's from TS Eliot. Read it out loud. Seriously.

The Hollow Men

The last four lines is an abject lesson in what not to let happen to a man's life.

Post: #36

(09-18-2016 03:18 PM)Private Man Wrote:  If'n you're into poetry. Here's something to leave you with a tough case of melancholia. It's from TS Eliot. Read it out loud. Seriously.

The Hollow Men

The last four lines is an abject lesson in what not to let happen to a man's life.

Good poem, and you can say the same (what not to let happen to a man's life) for his poem The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock.

There was a guy I knew when I was 17, he was 20 and we worked at the same job for a while. He was one of those guys that you remember. He was magnanimous and charismatic with everyone, trained and competed in martial arts, smart as hell and tutored people on playing the piano, and had a gorgeous and charming girlfriend. Someone that seemed to just have it all.

Recently I looked him up to see whatever became of him. Turns out he had become an Army Ranger and did multiple tours in Iraq.

And then killed himself last year. Left behind a wife and young daughter. Hard to believe.


It's interesting to look at the suicide rates in the U.S. since the 1950's.. The overall rate has been steady, but the rates for older people are roughly half compared to then, whereas for teenagers the suicide rate has tripled. My guess is that it does have a lot to do with increased isolation in society, this is known to increase the risk of suicide.

Post: #37

Stay strong, bros.

My only advice would be to try and take yourself beyond where you are. For me, that meant leaving my hometown and moving to a new country so that I could force myself to be reliable and strong.

Post: #38

(09-18-2016 06:36 PM)Chevalier De Seingalt Wrote:  Recently I looked him up to see whatever became of him. Turns out he had become an Army Ranger and did multiple tours in Iraq.

And then killed himself last year. Left behind a wife and young daughter.

Sorry to hear that.

Do you know if the VA had him on psych drugs?

I have strong opinions about this. The VA creates a suicide culture. I don't think its a conspiracy and they do it on purpose. I think the way the PTSD situation is handled improperly.

I was in George W Bush's Navy, so I didn't deal with it. Nowadays PTSD is forced down your throat everywhere you go. Veterans get junk mail asking about it. I go to the VA to get my shoulder looked at, and five different people ask me if I need to talk about suicidal thoughts. Its bizarre.

About a year ago I heard about my friends little brother who had become an officer and sent to Sigonella NAS in Sicily to basically oversee mail distribution on the base. He had never seen any type of combat whatsoever, and Sigonella is gorgeous, I've been there.

This dude got into a minor car accident and threw his back out. It was during duty hours. Through the course of his physical therapy he must have said yes to the psyche drugs. Now he's full service connected disability. He moved back in with his mom. Stupid.

Aloha!

Post: #39

Chicane, were you like this when you were younger? And stop calling yourself an old man your not 80 are you? You are a man, there is nothing stopping you from getting married now and having kids if thats what you want. Just remember that where you are now is not the world, its all bullshit, that is absolutely not what the rest of the world is like.

I feel where your coming from though, im getting it to. What helped for me was finding a real purpose, getting the hell of the internet so much, not comparing myself to others unless its to my benefit. And really just gettting out of my head and among people, just go out and watch life, its great if your in a big city, im not right now so it sucks a bit. Its hard to break out of that rut, damn hard, but once you do, and you can, dont let yourself slip back.

Post: #40

(09-18-2016 07:13 PM)Kona Wrote:  Do you know if the VA had him on psych drugs?

I have strong opinions about this. The VA creates a suicide culture. I don't think its a conspiracy and they do it on purpose. I think the way the PTSD situation is handled improperly.

I was in George W Bush's Navy, so I didn't deal with it. Nowadays PTSD is forced down your throat everywhere you go. Veterans get junk mail asking about it. I go to the VA to get my shoulder looked at, and five different people ask me if I need to talk about suicidal thoughts. Its bizarre.

About a year ago I heard about my friends little brother who had become an officer and sent to Sigonella NAS in Sicily to basically oversee mail distribution on the base. He had never seen any type of combat whatsoever, and Sigonella is gorgeous, I've been there.

This dude got into a minor car accident and threw his back out. It was during duty hours. Through the course of his physical therapy he must have said yes to the psyche drugs. Now he's full service connected disability. He moved back in with his mom. Stupid.

Aloha!

Not sure if he was on psych meds but I doubt it, he was the type to refuse anything like that.

I have some indirect experience with VA culture and I'm surprised they only asked you 5 times, someone must've been slacking. The bureaucrats decided they need to fix the suicide problem and as usual nobody is paying attention to what is actually happening on the ground. I would be curious to know more about what you think they should be doing differently for PTSD.

A large medical organization recently recommended that all patients be screened for depression at every primary care visit. So we're all going to be getting used to getting asked if we're depressed and suicidal every time we throw out our shoulder or our favorite little slut gives us the clap again

Post: #41

(09-19-2016 03:26 AM)kazz Wrote:  Chicane, were you like this when you were younger? And stop calling yourself an old man your not 80 are you? You are a man, there is nothing stopping you from getting married now and having kids if thats what you want. Just remember that where you are now is not the world, its all bullshit, that is absolutely not what the rest of the world is like.

I feel where your coming from though, im getting it to. What helped for me was finding a real purpose, getting the hell of the internet so much, not comparing myself to others unless its to my benefit. And really just gettting out of my head and among people, just go out and watch life, its great if your in a big city, im not right now so it sucks a bit. Its hard to break out of that rut, damn hard, but once you do, and you can, dont let yourself slip back.

Here in Western Society, if I was to marry someone 25 years younger than me, young enough to have children without being in the high risk category, the social pressures on my wife would be unrelenting in trying to demonize me and break up the marriage. This is the reality.

Post: #42

Like many others on this forum I could never marry or be in a LTR with the standard western women. That is depressing. Why worry about social pressures? You choose who you let in and who you dont. Dont let anybody get in the way of your dreams. They are yours and fuck anybody that tries to take them away from you. Besides in a big city no one gives a shit about anyone else apart from some gossip to make their insecure selves feel better.

Post: #43

There's a common theme in this thread that I can weigh in on personally.

Finding a decent wife and maintaining a good marriage is incredibly difficult in the cities and suburbs.

Personally I can vouch for finding a good wife in the city and maintaining a good marriage in the country. Modern society has become a wasteland of lost souls. Out in the sticks there's peace and quiet. Go far enough that you have shitty television reception and you're better off still.

If any of you get a chance to wife up some hot, young filly then get out of the city while you still can. Even if you have to commute a ridiculous distance, you can be reasonably certain that your wife isn't fucking the pool guy while you're away.

Post: #44

Can't embed videos from youtube for some reason...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izpMS_QbNwQ

This is a beautiful, high energy song that gives me strength and I hope it will gives others the same.

Post: #45

(09-19-2016 11:21 AM)Chevalier De Seingalt Wrote:  I would be curious to know more about what you think they should be doing differently for PTSD.

First, quit handing out the meds so freely. Something I've realized about veterans is that a large portion of them feel they are entitled to a lifetime of doing nothing once they separate. A whole lot of guys do everything possible to get on disability. They do to the va seeking that, then they put the guy on the zombie drugs, and the next thing you know the guy really is disabled.

People need to actually have PTSD before you give them the medicine. I wouldn't put a bandaid on my knee because I might skin it next week so why get a guy on Zoloft before you know what he has.

I also think there needs to be a clearer definition of PTSD and figure out why some get it and some don't. Me, I'm fine. My uncle that was in the jungle for three years in Vietnam watching people die everyday, he's fine. A guy I knew who was a load master on a c17 and never set foot in Iraq or afghan has it. He can't tell you why.

It just doesn't make sense.

Aloha!

Post: #46

(09-18-2016 12:03 PM)dain_bramage Wrote:  My reasons for living are how my family would feel if I killed myself. It would be one the worse things I could do. Just leaving them without me suddenly. I also want to prove the haters wrong about me. I want to live a happy life as revenge. I don't want to be stuck in hell because of other people.

I was in a military school for middle school. My second year there, I was in charge of first ears on my hallway.

One trouble kid confessed feeling depressed and told me he was gonna run into the woods until he got too lost to go back and until he dropped.

I told him that before he do that, he picture the faces of his entire family as his funeral. His Mother, Father, brothers, sisters; everyone. His face contorted into a pained expression and I never had a problem with that kid wanting to run away ever again.

G

Post: #47

(09-18-2016 07:13 PM)Kona Wrote:  

(09-18-2016 06:36 PM)Chevalier De Seingalt Wrote:  Recently I looked him up to see whatever became of him. Turns out he had become an Army Ranger and did multiple tours in Iraq.

And then killed himself last year. Left behind a wife and young daughter.

Sorry to hear that.

Do you know if the VA had him on psych drugs?

I have strong opinions about this. The VA creates a suicide culture. I don't think its a conspiracy and they do it on purpose. I think the way the PTSD situation is handled improperly.

I was in George W Bush's Navy, so I didn't deal with it. Nowadays PTSD is forced down your throat everywhere you go. Veterans get junk mail asking about it. I go to the VA to get my shoulder looked at, and five different people ask me if I need to talk about suicidal thoughts. Its bizarre.

[snip]

Aloha!

My theory is that it's an easy way to get people out, in an increasing downsizing military. Every time I visit the CTMC for so much as a minor check up, they immediately ask me if I have suicidal thoughts as part of the standard questionnaire.

G

Post: #48

(09-21-2016 08:13 PM)Geomann180 Wrote:  

(09-18-2016 12:03 PM)dain_bramage Wrote:  My reasons for living are how my family would feel if I killed myself. It would be one the worse things I could do. Just leaving them without me suddenly. I also want to prove the haters wrong about me. I want to live a happy life as revenge. I don't want to be stuck in hell because of other people.

I was in a military school for middle school. My second year there, I was in charge of first ears on my hallway.

One trouble kid confessed feeling depressed and told me he was gonna run into the woods until he got too lost to go back and until he dropped.

I told him that before he do that, he picture the faces of his entire family as his funeral. His Mother, Father, brothers, sisters; everyone. His face contorted into a pained expression and I never had a problem with that kid wanting to run away ever again.

G

Yeah. Thinking about the effects of our actions can be helpful when being in a sick state of mind.Good thing that kid never wanted to run again afterwards. The effect of just one person speaking to the suicidal person can sometimes be massive.

I see and talk with people with actual diagnosis as bipolar, schizophrenia, GAD, panic disorder. At least a couple times a week. When I have sat down with some they haven't seemed willing to perpetuate the suffering of others because of their own issues. They haven not wanted to cause more pain, just to ease their own.

I can talk quite a lot about the whole mental health kind of life, the difficulties finding women in such a messed up fish bowl, disability benefits, what have you. Once you dive down the rabbit hole you can hear some pretty amazing stories. Its a trip.

Post: #49

(09-20-2016 07:53 PM)Kona Wrote:  

(09-19-2016 11:21 AM)Chevalier De Seingalt Wrote:  I would be curious to know more about what you think they should be doing differently for PTSD.

.....

I also think there needs to be a clearer definition of PTSD and figure out why some get it and some don't.... My uncle that was in the jungle for three years in Vietnam watching people die everyday, he's fine. A guy I knew who was a load master on a c17 and never set foot in Iraq or afghan has it. He can't tell you why.

It just doesn't make sense.

Aloha!

It's like many human characteristics, distributed on something like a bell curve.

For instance, some people could run five miles a day for decades, others who are overweight with a weak heart would have a heart attack and die the first day.

Everyone has different stress tolerances, both genetically and environmentally/historically determined, for different stressors.

The agenda of government is not to protect the mostly working class who become grunts, it's to protect the assets of their owners. Every president we've had for a while was a draft dodger -- Bush II, Clinton, Obama I think there was no draft, Trump if he wins dodged the draft with BS medical exemption while playing college sports I think.

All the guys that went to war got defeated-- Kerry, McCain.

Post: #50

I get asked by the Doctor at my appointments each time if I have been feeling suicidal or paranoid. Its become rather routine. I don't feel suicidal. I am not suspicious of people for no reason and I prefer to think that I'm not the centre of attention or any kind of important person. The suicide issue I think can be attributed to the high and sometimes very extreme stress that men have been facing. Its getting harder to maintain a decent standard of living. We have women that are not mother of your child material that although plentiful they think of themselves as high class and look down upon the beta provider male. A man has to be in the right frame of mind to get anywhere and its even getting hard just to support himself without even the thought of being a provider. I think taking a red pill can sometimes have a very negative impact to the unprepared and ill equipped they may be overwhelmed and basically say, " Fuck it. I'm out! There's no hope"

I think we need to be empathetic and just make it known that we are friends and we care. When someone has a core group of bros its a bit easier to live with yourself. The whole tribe idea. What I've noticed in my magical adventures is that there are people that want to help someone going through hell. There are men that can sit down with a friend, brother, etc,etc and have a good talk about serious shit. Its a bit difficult to talk about some of the more pressing world politics issues with a lot of people for example but finding someone that can help is not nearly impossible as some may think.

I think this forum is serving a great purpose by bringing people together. For me personally its been very educational and also a bit of a hope bringer as there are people that can educate me and give good advice. Well have a good one guys. Cheers.