Post: #1

As someone who grew up having a bunch of nerdy interests ranging from anime to video games to fantasy I've associated with a lot of other people with similar interests. I've gone to cons, done all night gaming sessions and participated in various aspects of geek culture over the years. As I've gotten older and delved more into self-improvement I've still retained a lot of interest in various nerd things but I've been feeling more alienated from the social scene that comes along with the fandoms mainly because I feel like that am less and less able to relate to the people who are involved in these activities. A big part of it is cause lots of the people in these scenes seem to stop mentally maturing past age 22. Peter Pan syndrome is a noticeable feature among a lot of people involved in geek activities. When I'm talking about acting immature, I'm not just talking about doing stuff like cosplaying but just the general behavior these people display in every day life. A lot of these people seem to have less control over their emotions and are less able to deal with adversity on average when compared to non-geeks.

Along with this, I noticed that a lot of geeks on average seem to suffer from various mental issues - whether it be self-diagnosed or not. The girls especially seem to be prone to either depression or BPD. Again, this seems to be related to the immaturity I discussed above as I get a very emo teenager vibe when it comes to the way they tend to talk about their mental illnesses. Also I noticed that geeks seem to be disproportionately involved in various SJWs causes and again it seems to link back to their frozen in adolescence brains - it's very reminiscent of the activist types I knew when I was younger but this mentality now instead of being limited to teenagers seems to be extending to people in their late 20s and early 30s.

So what do you guys think is the explanation for all of this? i can think of a couple - a sheltered society that allows people to extend their adolescence into their late 20s, helicopter parenting leading to stunted social growth, the prevalence of people going out of their way to avoid discussing anything that could cause discomfort or mental distress etc.

Post: #2

Seems simple, people who withdraw from the real world have a harder time dealing with it.

Also, outcasts are more likely to bond with other outcasts, and hating regular society is the glue that holds the friendship together. Think the weirdo table in high school that the cool kids wouldn't be caught dead in.

Post: #3

I thought that said Greeks! I was getting my popcorn ready for another controversial thread, I'm disappointed now.

Post: #4

Not more immature just socially awkward.

Post: #5

Self-improvement stuck out to me in your post because you followed it up by saying you could no longer relate to the other geeks anymore. I was talking with a friend about this, but interests like video games, DnD, reading comics/manga, etc. are permeated with social recluses. While these types of people are fully capable of changing their lives for the better, most of them are comfortable with where they are and don't see a reason to do something different.

I take it when you started to work on yourself more, you took more risks and did more things outside of your comfort zone. Undoubtedly, I'm sure you've been talking to way more people and getting social edge over your competition. Which leads to a deeper divide forming between you and your community of nerds. Your road to self-improvement has given you a clearer view of your fellow geeks, and you can't help but notice them for who they are.

I'd say it's a positive sign you're growing through experience.

Post: #6

Geeks don't understand austerity, which is why they let themselves go in the first place.

Neither do Greeks, it would seem.

Post: #7

Interesting thread.

(08-15-2016 10:03 PM)Repo Wrote:  Seems simple, people who withdraw from the real world have a harder time dealing with it.

Also, outcasts are more likely to bond with other outcasts, and hating regular society is the glue that holds the friendship together. Think the weirdo table in high school that the cool kids wouldn't be caught dead in.

I'd say this is the main reason. I was a huge nerd in my youth. It varies from person to person, but my geekiness was a way of coping with frustration, anxiety, loneliness, and my overall inability to socialize properly and live life the way a normal adolescent should. When I needed a safe haven from the real world, I found it in watching Star Trek, obsessively playing video games etc.

Eventually I got out of this perpetual loop of misery and reduced my interest in geeky stuff, but then I found out I have problems relating to my old friends. They've remained more or less the same, whereas I grew and matured. I've adopted a compromise of sorts - I still hang out with them, but only in activities I enjoy as well. I'll go on a hiking trip with them, or go grab something to eat in a new restaurant in town (they're not complete idiots after all). On the other hand, playing board-games with them on a Saturday night or watching the latest comic-book inspired Hollywood movie - no thank you.

OP, what's your relationship with your old friends from your geeky days? Do you still hang out with them, or did you ditch them?

Post: #8

This is spot-on. I have slowly become unable to associate with anyone geeky - i.e. anyone who takes the geeky hobbies like D&D, movies or videogames seriously. We simply don't have anything in common anymore. The things that motivate us and cause us to emotionally react (or react at all) are simply too different.

Playing WoW? All fine.
Raging about why hunters are overpowered or being butthurt about what alignment a D&D character is?

Post: #9

I have a pair of geek friends who dress up for SF/F/comic-book movies, go to Disneyworld-Universal at least once a year, fill their house with related toys and memorabilia, and spend all their free time watching genre shows on TV or playing video games. She presents otherwise as normal, but he has the giggling goofball persona and affect of a stereotypical teen geek, complete with mule-laugh.

They're both mid-30s.

It's a life-style they enthusiastically share in common, so I guess it makes a strong relationship. But the life-style is patently immature when you observe it from outside. They both have jobs, but they have difficulty prioritizing other adult responsibilities, like basic home maintenance and value improvements (the house is picked up, but they frequently lament about it needing paint, the garage cleaned, the kitchen tile repaired and any number of small to medium tasks that they could learn to do themselves but leave to their parents to do or hire out for them). They do little cooking at home, mostly gimmicky things like GoT themed recipes or one-off attempts at some fancy dessert, instead eating greasy takeout from the gas mart down the street while playing video games or watching TV. They lament being short on cash, but then impulsively splurge on some piece of memorabilia on Ebay. They want kids, but keep putting it off ("There's things we want to do and see before we have a baby"). Which is too bad because they're good people, the type for whom having a baby is often the catalyst for personal maturation and "putting away childish things".

Post: #10

The Star Wars prequels came out when I was in my early twenties, and they were a huge wakeup call for me. Prior to that, I'd been a huge Star Wars fan. I didn't own all of the EU books, but I did have a lot of them. After High School, I started developing a life and a social scene, and while I still played D&D one of the house rules was that you needed to be at least 30% as cool as the character that you played; generally after gaming we'd all head out to the bar to talk to chicks.

Then the prequels came out and were a hot mess. I still haven't bothered to see the third one (and I really don't care whether or not it was the best). The prequels forced me to realize that Star Wars was just fiction. Some pretty cool fiction, no doubt, and an imaginative universe, but it was neither great literature nor was it great science fiction.

As a teenager and young adult, fiction is there for you to model yourself off of; that's fine and healthy. But obsessing over it past those ages is unhealthy. Instead of pretending to be a badass in a video game, or projecting into a fictional character, why not become a badass in real life?

Post: #11

Something I've noticed that is a lot of geek material, even those meant for "mature audiences" tend to be pretty adolescent in general. There's two comic series I've enjoyed in the past "Y The Last Man" and the currently running "Saga" which are great example of this. Mark Miller's works would be another example. There's lot of "adult" themes in these type of series such as swearing, graphic violence and tasteless humor but it's all presented in a very teenage juvenile way. Don't get me wrong, I've still enjoyed these series but it's always in a very escapist mindless brain candy manner, so basically in the same way people enjoyed "kiddy" comics in the past despite the fact these comics are being presented as serious literature - hell they're even called "graphic novels" instead of just plain old comic books. I still see these sort of stories in the same way I would see the old X-Men cartoon from the 90s only with more cuss words and gore and other so called "adult" themes like turning some character gay or whatever.

Another thing I noticed, especially among girls is how they will fangirl over stuff that's obviously for kiddies. I'm not talking about say a Transformer reboot that's aimed to appeal to the nostalgia of adults but material that's designed specifically for people from 8 to 12 years old. Look at Tumblr and you'll see tons of women in their 20s obssessing over shows on Nick or Cartoon Network. There's a huge tendency for these girls to slide towards infantile behavior and it isn't merely reflected in their choice of entertainment but permeates through all of their behavior.

Post: #12

(08-16-2016 03:28 AM)Khan Wrote:  Interesting thread.

(08-15-2016 10:03 PM)Repo Wrote:  Seems simple, people who withdraw from the real world have a harder time dealing with it.

Also, outcasts are more likely to bond with other outcasts, and hating regular society is the glue that holds the friendship together. Think the weirdo table in high school that the cool kids wouldn't be caught dead in.

I'd say this is the main reason. I was a huge nerd in my youth. It varies from person to person, but my geekiness was a way of coping with frustration, anxiety, loneliness, and my overall inability to socialize properly and live life the way a normal adolescent should. When I needed a safe haven from the real world, I found it in watching Star Trek, obsessively playing video games etc.

Eventually I got out of this perpetual loop of misery and reduced my interest in geeky stuff, but then I found out I have problems relating to my old friends. They've remained more or less the same, whereas I grew and matured. I've adopted a compromise of sorts - I still hang out with them, but only in activities I enjoy as well. I'll go on a hiking trip with them, or go grab something to eat in a new restaurant in town (they're not complete idiots after all). On the other hand, playing board-games with them on a Saturday night or watching the latest comic-book inspired Hollywood movie - no thank you.

OP, what's your relationship with your old friends from your geeky days? Do you still hang out with them, or did you ditch them?

I don't really have much contact with them anymore. I didn't intentionally ditch them, it's more like we just drifted apart. There is one friend I still keep in contact with who's heavily big into geek culture - he goes to multiple cons a year and actually also runs panels that have become kinda well known on a small time level on the con circuit. I'll hang out with him on one on one but when he invites me to do stuff that involves a bunch of the other geeks that we both know then I'll decline. I've pretty much straight up told him that I can't really stand being around all of those people for more then 20 minutes at a time. There actually has been times where I've brought them to meet up with some of my more "normal" friends which actually ended up reflecting badly on me because they'll be spazzy and obnoxious the entire time. The females in this group also pretty much all identity as feminists so that's another nightmare.

Post: #13

Yes. I think I was still watching DuckTales in Junior High School. Meanwhile the cool guys got to stick their fingers up girls' vaginas.

Post: #14

I d say one reason the social mis-adaptation syndromes such as SJWism,"alternativeness" and basement dwelling/geekism often go hand in hand due to their stemming from the same root: a failure to adapt to the reigning social context and instead of seeking a solution, glorify the issue.

Here s a theoretical scenario:

In the early nineties,James is a fat kid,his parents don't know much about nutrition or don't care.
His obesity increases his fear of interacting with his peers because he is aware of being "different" (fat) in a negative way (fat kids look funny and they can t take too much exercise) which may be reinforced by active taunting from his peers.
This leads James to seek alternative ways to fill the void of not being involved in a social life,so he finds comfort in hobbies that provide escapism from reality: *take your pic here: comic books,movies,novels,model building, circuits.food.etc* which further isolates him from the social context.
The pleasure with no drawbacks that he derives from engaging in such a hobby as he grows up and through the standard schooling system leads him to increasingly justify his hobbies as he is more and more obliged to interact with society -those de luxe marvel action figures arent free- which is a collective entity that demands of only nominally to know of it's composition.
But because James never actively participated in formative social activities his understanding of social dynamics continue to be at the level of when he was a child and "turned away"
Just as with any other sizeable group james finds like-minded with whom he can commune in equal or similar interests without fear of social reprisal (playing D&D and eating pizza all.night)
Eventually some of these people will actually reproduce and/or attain a position of influence in society (say like a politician, radio host or some other media type celebrity) which allows them to further their self-justification cause,often with a vengeance.

I'd say this applies to most sjws ,hippies and geeks I ve met and why so many times members of this cliques are inter-exchangeable...

Post: #15

Geek culture used to be cool. I spent an inordinate amount of time playing video games, watching star trek, and obsessing over new tech (computers/ pdas).

The reason it was cool was because it wasn't mainstream! I was the first kid with a smartphone. I remember people making fun of me for having a smart phone. Palm and Windows Mobile were the shit and i know for a fact everyone was envious of my ability to play emulators, watch movies, text, and do everything on that device.

Nowadays, geek culture is mainstream and flooded with know-nothing sycophants who are all astoundingly liberal.

I grew out of all of those hobbies. I tried watching Star Trek TNG recently and couldn't stomach it. It seemed too idealistic and just childish like how a kid would envision a utopia.

Something happened to me in college. I don't know where the demarcation was but i straight up vomed out all of my indoctrination. I wasted electricity, stopped recycling, thought most women were whores, and entered into the red pill anger phase before i discovered this site.

Taking up the gym as a hobby was the last straw for the old geek in me. I don't relate to any of those guys anymore.

I'd like to get stupid shredded and go to a con with some shirtless cosplay like the prince of Persia or something like that just to intimidate all of the leftover men. They really are a collection of sad individuals and the whole con atmosphere is just their Christmas where they all be sad leftovers together.

This guy is the epitome of what is wrong with the con scene. Go to 3:15 for what I'm referring to.




Very sad.

Post: #16

Good topic, I'll raise it from the dead.




There are many geeks over here that are both quite mature (sometimes way beyond their years), and those who are immature as fuck.




For example, when I was a kid, I was a geek of sorts - a quite mature one, due to rather traumatic childhood I had (my mind had to mature quickly, as a defensive mechanism of sorts). I simply could not relate to most of my generation back then, because nobody enjoyed playing video games (which used to be quite complex back then, unlike today), reading classical literature (read the Illiad when I was 4th grade, for example) and drawing (I liked drawing star ships, vehicles and armored knights).




I remember using my talents to annoy school staff, which I considered to be rather stupid (and I still do). I used to draw comics, in which I made fun on them. Topics were various - from Saddam Hussein and his army invading our school (made during the 2003 war) to aliens from some evil dimension impersonating our staff (there was a movie with similar theme, Faculty I think it was called). Eventually, the story got out, and I was asked to bring those comics, so that the staff can ''review'' them. I told them to fuck off. I can't remember what happened after that because it had no effect on my life.




I am quite sure that most nerds (older Millenial and up) were like me - interested in hobbies that were rather hard, or too silly for non nerds to ever comprehend (Star Trek lore, Dungeons and Dragons lore, WoW before it became dumbed down etc. ...), and resisting attempts to control us (by parents, schools etc.). Many of my ''nerd generation'' eventually joined Gamer Gate, the Kekistani Liberation Front and, eventually team Trump/Brexit. Some, like myself, were fortunate to discover the purple pill, and eventually, the red pill.




Unfortunately, some geeks went to far. Some took their hobbies way too seriously, and became something like that creature in the previous post. And others embraced their ''geek victimhood'' to the extreme, and became part of SJW stormtroopers, Alt Retards (the dumbest element of Alt Right) or, to quote Cappy...''VirginTOW's''.




Again, there are very mature geeks and very immature geeks. Today, I do not consider myself to be one of them, but I will always feel some kinship to that group.

Post: #17

Quote:I'd like to get stupid shredded and go to a con with some shirtless cosplay like the prince of Persia or something like that just to intimidate all of the leftover men. They really are a collection of sad individuals and the whole con atmosphere is just their Christmas where they all be sad leftovers together.

I've actually found more normal-ish individuals in wargaming spheres. You've got a lot of oddballs to be sure, but old-school wargames like Battletech, X-wing, and Warmachine tend to attract a somewhat older crowd and one that (due to nature of playing games that require more work to play) are usually a bit more sane.

Still the horriblness of the con atmosphere is awful. I plan on going to one this year (GenCon) because that's where most new releases and updates for wargames happen, as well as it being the best place to buy schwag.

Post: #18

I think a key factor in remaining a man-child is not having children yourself.

When you have children you are forced to grow up in order to be a suitable role-model. While yes, when your kids are young you wind up making goofy faces and watching Disney movies and what not, it starts to feel more like role-playing childhood than being in perpetual adolescence.

Then when your kids get to a certain age you go through your mid-life crisis and you begin to resent having to act so grown up and responsible.

I also think another key factor in staying a man-child is not being exposed to war or other serious hardships.

Sure, Episode I sucked and that killed a part of my childhood, but 911 is what really stuck a fork in it for me.

As far as escapism goes, nobody ever truly outgrows escapism. It just takes on new forms.

When you're a kid you have NO DEPTH. That depth then comes shrinkwrapped in the form of, let's say, the Appenices of Lord of the Rings or Mr Scott's Guide to the Enterprise. As you (hopefully) build life experience your thoughts start to shift away from imaginary worlds and making adventures in the real world yourself.

Those that continue to lose themselves the most in imaginary worlds are those who, like in Brazil, feel trapped by life's circumstances. Whether they are actually trapped or they just lack the ambition, courage, or ability to go out and be the protagonist of their own story is a matter of opinion.

You can't deny that someone like Elon Musk is a huge geek. He bought Roger Moore's 007 Lotus Sub , for instance, but he is a "high functioning" geek in the sense that he channeled his passion into pursuits that make a real impact in the world. Too many geeks don't find that kind of niche. They get lost in academia, for instance (like the Big Bang Theory guys) and so society sort of sees them as little more than dead-weight.

Post: #19

There's one big difference from the classic 80s to 90s geeks that had the pocket calculators, taped glasses and the modern blue haired geeks with hipster tattoos that I haven't seen pointed out too often.

Back then being a geek was correlated with also being academically successful. These people might have been deficient in some forms of intelligence such as social intelligence and what is commonly referred to as common sense but at least last the type of intelligence that allowed them to master STEM subjects which at least allowed them to productive members of society as adults.

Modern day geeks have all the shortcomings of the old school geeks such as the social retardness minus any of the positives such as being academically successful. In fact from my experience it seems like a lot of these people if anything actually seem to be even worse in academics that the average person. I see a good percentage of these people working in dead end unskilled labor jobs; very different from the Elon Musks and Big Bang Theory guys who at least have their book smarts to make them useful. I would prefer a guy that retreats into something like computer programming as opposed to retreating into blogging on Tumblr about children's cartoon shows.

Post: #20

I probably could still relate to my geek ex-friends in some ways. I definitely enjoyed discussing movies, computers, games, science and some comics with them. My problem is that they've all become radical SJW types.

Post: #21

(05-27-2017 12:37 AM)Wutang Wrote:  There's one big difference from the classic 80s to 90s geeks that had the pocket calculators, taped glasses and the modern blue haired geeks with hipster tattoos that I haven't seen pointed out too often.

Back then being a geek was correlated with also being academically successful.

Back then you only thought about geeks when the teacher couldn't get the movie projector to work.

Post: #22

I know a politician who is high up in the country he helps run. Senate/parliament level politician. Who in his spare times plays minecraft and attends those role play days for people into that sort of thing. I think it is cosplay? He used to play Everquest and Guild Wars. He's on his second or third term and in order to be a successful politician you need to be able to at least (fake) connecting with people. The guy is geeky for sure but is in no way immature. I would say that he is in fact an exception and generally speaking geeks do tend to be immature as what they geek about is stuff you would typically expect a child to play with. Pokemon fans are a prime example.

One thing I had noticed is that geeks tend to have a faggy/effeminate voice. I suspect a great number of geeks have some sort of developmental disorder which is why they tend to be immature. They've never actually grown up as their mental age has been stunted for whatever reason.

Post: #23

(05-26-2017 04:10 PM)Irenicus Wrote:  I used to draw comics, in which I made fun on them. Topics were various - from Saddam Hussein and his army invading our school (made during the 2003 war) to aliens from some evil dimension impersonating our staff (there was a movie with similar theme, Faculty I think it was called).

Post: #24

(08-16-2016 09:40 AM)Alsos Wrote:  I have a pair of geek friends who dress up for SF/F/comic-book movies, go to Disneyworld-Universal at least once a year, fill their house with related toys and memorabilia, and spend all their free time watching genre shows on TV or playing video games. She presents otherwise as normal, but he has the giggling goofball persona and affect of a stereotypical teen geek, complete with mule-laugh.

They're both mid-30s.

It's a life-style they enthusiastically share in common, so I guess it makes a strong relationship. But the life-style is patently immature when you observe it from outside. They both have jobs, but they have difficulty prioritizing other adult responsibilities, like basic home maintenance and value improvements (the house is picked up, but they frequently lament about it needing paint, the garage cleaned, the kitchen tile repaired and any number of small to medium tasks that they could learn to do themselves but leave to their parents to do or hire out for them). They do little cooking at home, mostly gimmicky things like GoT themed recipes or one-off attempts at some fancy dessert, instead eating greasy takeout from the gas mart down the street while playing video games or watching TV.

That is not uncommon these days. Most people are terrible in their domestic skills. I say that having boxes that need to be sorted after a move from a month ago.

Quote:They lament being short on cash, but then impulsively splurge on some piece of memorabilia on Ebay. They want kids, but keep putting it off ("There's things we want to do and see before we have a baby"). Which is too bad because they're good people, the type for whom having a baby is often the catalyst for personal maturation and "putting away childish things".

Most people tend to buy frivolous shit regardless of whether it was cosplay memorabilia, old vinyl of some obscure band, or sports memorabilia. E-Bay is called EvilBAY for a reason. It is also very common for people to go on adventures in lieu of child rearing.

I would agree that they are engrossed in their hobbies and not looking at the big picture. It is kind of a defect in human nature in that far too many people prefer to escape for far too long into their own world if they can get away with it, which is easier to do these days as opposed to the past where you would either work very long hours or starve to death. The end of our civilization will be when everyone can afford a Virtual Reality pod in their domicile. A sense of moderation is a discipline that few people master.

Getting back to the general discussion: I tend to think that geeks are not particularly more immature on average. I think that a guy who spends a fortune on baseball cards, and the girl who spends a fortune on shoes, are equally immature with the geek who spends a fortune on Comic Books. It may be weirder to non geeks as the hobby taste of geeks are not main stream.

Post: #25

(05-26-2017 04:10 PM)Irenicus Wrote:  I used to draw comics, in which I made fun on them. Topics were various - from Saddam Hussein and his army invading our school (made during the 2003 war) to aliens from some evil dimension impersonating our staff (there was a movie with similar theme, Faculty I think it was called).

I did similar and mine were really more antiquated than they should've been = I graduated high school in 2003 and in one of my stupid drawings I made some reference to mining Haiphong Harbor during the Vietnam, so yeah. That was about 10,000 feet over nearly everyone's head.

I think the dividing line between geekdom and nerdism is A) The utility of your knowledge and B) knowing when to keep things to yourself. As someone said prior, traditional geeks/nerds were bookworms, academically-inclined to a fault. Many of these became literal rocket scientists, chemical/mechanical engineers, Bill Nye/Neil deGrasse Tyson types, etc.

My 'nerdity' existed in the form of automotive history, modern warfare, and geopolitics. Because of that, I was always able to relate to the majority of people on some level - granted, older people because young adults didn't necessarily care about how a Wild Weasel mission was flown, why Jimmy Carter gave away the Panama Canal, or the model years a Pontiac 6000 ws available with all-wheel drive - but people nonetheless. And as I age, I find that my peers generally aged into my interests on some level as well. Also, I now work in the retail automotive business, so my near-autistic enthusiasm for cars actually has a profit angle towards it.

Nowadays, geeks flaunt their intrinsic knowledge of completely immaterial genres, i.e. comic books, anime, WOW, D&D, etc. Knowledge of being a twelfth level mage (or whatever) has zero application outside of whatever turn-based die game you're playing.

I have an old friend from high school like this. He fits the beta geek description to a tee - pale complexion, neckbeard and all - though he is actually happily married to a similar beta geek female who, though not traditionally attractive at all, is truly a good person and they are a solid couple, so I cannot fault them for that. However, man, he is out there with his geekishness. He has collections on anime figurines, all that stuff. And I know he functions on some elevated level because he does coding and programming for automated warehouse conveyor systems, but some of the 'common sense' protocols just aren't there. I sold him a car and he came back every few weeks for some menial thing. How do I change my wipers? How do I change the clock? How do I check the oil? Can you guys check the oil for me? I saw the TPMS light is on. How do I check the air? Check the...what?

I know for myself, the turning point was a group of nerdish/geekish friends I gravitated towards. One evening senior year, they i asked if I wanted to come to a LAN party. I'm like...for what? "Oh to play World of Warcraft." I was like, "nah, dude...I'm good."

In retrospect that was definitely the fork in my path of life.