Baldrich
Banned
Posts: 294
Joined: Sep 2015
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RE: Thought about Spain after living there for 10 years
(08-13-2016 11:58 AM)Gopnik Wrote: I'm a Spaniard myself, so I feel like I should probably chime in on this one.
First of all, I think although the OP comes accross as bitter and jaded from his time in Spain, there's definitely a lot of truth in what he writes. Most Spaniards do have a group-think mentality and they are usually not as ambitious or career-driven as other Europeans. To illustrate this point, one of my childhood friends, a top tennis player at the time, rejected a full scholarship to study in a New York university, just to stay close to his girlfriend, family and friends. In addition, service is usually very bad and general politness and manners are not something you should expect.
The problem with discussing these things is that most spanish people don't even notice them. I actually didn't start realizing this stuff until I moved abroad.
I think however that Bladrich's main problems stem from not having met enough like minded people and perhaps having wrong expectations of the country. This actually reminds me a lot of my attitude towards the UK, where out of bad luck and bad choices on my part, I rarely managed to really "click" with locals.
In terms of your career, it's obvious that there's better places than Spain. Still, I'm a bit surprised and think maybe you were just unlucky as I personally know plenty of young, ambitious dudes from my country (perhaps you should reflect on how you've been networking all this time or how you've tried to meet Spaniards that are less "average").
At the end of the day, Spain is a relatively big country and despite most people being mediocre, unambitious and tied to their family, hometown and friends, you can still meet people of all walks of life.
Now, about the women... Spanish girls are NO WAY NEAR as feminists as anglo girls. I'm 100% certain of this. The only girls who regularly post feminst stuff on my fb are always from the UK. In addition, anglo girls are a lot more vocal about their views, as they are regularly fed feminist BS by their universities, the media etc. It is true that this is unfortunately changing and Baldrich is right to point out that Spaniards are importing the WORST stuff of modern American culture. Slowly but gradually, I'm starting to notice more SJW girls in Spain but things are way better than in England for example. In terms of their looks, perhaps I'm biased as I haven't travelled that much around Spain myself, but Valencia has a decent supply of hot local girls and I disagree with those saying they have unpleasant, rude, manly mannerisms. It's also definitely possible to meet "traditional" girls. And by traditional I mean that they are relationship oriented, as it is the case of many Spaniards.
In terms of gaming them, it's usually better to be very indirect and try to act more "sociable" and friendly as opposed to flirting with them just straight away. It's also a lot better to meet them through social circle but I do agree that they're generally quite complicated. The cool thing about Spain however, is that even in 3rd tier cities, you can find girls from just about ANYWHERE in the world. Colombians, Romanians, Russians, Poles, Dutch, Germans, Belgians, English, Irish, Americans... There is a massive influx of Erasmus students, girls doing a gap year or working as au pairs or just visiting for a couple of weeks. In Spain you can really carve out a niche in case local girls are not really your thing. One of the best Spanish players I know, regularly gets laid with latinas and Romanians for example.
In fact, you can easily spend years in Spain meeting quality girls from anywhere but Spain and there's particularly a lot of latin clubs in all major cities where latinas are A LOT friendlier than Spanish (Spaniard) girls.
As for the culture, I think Spain might not be a place to relocate permanently unless you really get to meet people who are "outliers", who you can relate to. Personally, I love going back to my home town and hanging out with my childhood friends. We all go way back and have similar mindsets, we are all very politically incorrect, but after a while, I do feel an urge to leave and experience new things.
It is true that Spain has fewer "clubs" where people meet to share an interest, like a reading club as you mention. I think this is partly because of the University system in Spain, where unlike in other countries, you are not really encouraged to pursue other stuff outside your studies. This being said, there's intellectuals in all major cities and again, I think you must have been doing something wrong in terms of trying to meet these people and connect with them. Even then, there's plenty of foreigners in Spain, so you could have always hanged out with more cultured guys from other countries.
Politically, yeah, there's little hope and the fact that the younger generations voted en masse for Podemos (a radical left-wing party ) makes me feel even more hopeless. There's also not a debate culture like in the UK but at least universities are not SJW grounds and masculinity is not attacked as often.
What you mention about our perception of Americans is 100 % true. The redneck stereotype is quite wide spread and in my experience, a lot of Spaniards seem to forget how huge and varied the US really is. Basically, I'd say that in the Anglosphere, it seems that you get a lot of exceptional people on both sides (talented, intelligent, hardworking etc vs stupid, backwards...) whereas in Spain people are a lot more "average" and have a herd mentality.
(08-12-2016 07:34 AM)Lime Wrote: The best of a culture is usually the worst as well.
Good points about Spain (inexhaustive):
-Very open towards foreigners in nightlife, very friendly nightlife in general.
-Family oriented.
-Proud of their country.
-Not bashing their own culture.
-Cannabis smoking is tolerated, mostly.
-Cheap living.
-Good climate.
-Siesta.
This is absolutely not true. All left-leaning Spaniards regularly bash their own culture and history and even a lot of right-wing moderates do so too. There's no nationalism like in Poland for example and you are usually labelled a "facha" for displaying the national flag. Everyone loves complaining about our country but no one actually does anything. Only the left is a bit more active in this sense, but they're essentially in favour of establishing a country of civil-servants where everyone "works" for the government, which would only make people more lazy and turn Spain into Venezuela.
Gopnik, I'm not surprised at all about your friend the tennis player. That's exactly what I find exasperating. To me, a man who squanders good opportunities is, to some extent, a loser. And Spain is a country where mediocrity reigns supreme. Those are not my words, those are words of many Spaniards who have taught me that truth. Greeks who have emigrated tell me the same about Greece.
Re: Manners. One of the things that I find utterly unprofessional here is how even in company classes, the people working will openly mock American food and other countries. Some people on roosh think that's good and "politically incorrect" but it really is not "un-PC", it's just stupidity and ignorance. I get paid good money for what I do in companies so I just grin and bear it, but I am shocked sometimes when they say "oh you only eat hamburgers and other crap in the US". Or how they make racist comments IN PROFESSIONAL settings. This is one of the reasons why Spain still is not taken seriously for business.
Telling someone "allí no sabéis comer" is not only arrogant, but comes across for what it is: totally ignorant. The phrase, for non-Spanish speakers translates as "in the US you don't know how to eat!"
Just imagine what any corporation would do in the US if say, there was a Spanish instructor and Americans told him "paella is crap". It would not be tolerated. So yes, I find the atmosphere here unprofessional, ignorant and rude.
You say I had the wrong expectations. You are correct and I should also specify that my post is about the whole of Spain. There are regions of Spain, like Catalonia and Valencia, that I find REALLY TOLERANT, open-minded and modern. I really love Barcelona and Valencia...it is day and vanguard compared to Madrid and the central plains. I will write a post about that some other time.
Girls: They're not as feminist vocally because they're not as aware of the theories, but the girls I meet here (and trust me I meet a LOT OF WOMEN) always seem to bitch about their boyfriends or about how "they don't have to cook" or about how "men" need to do more around the house and how they tell their boyfriends to share the domestic chores, etc. Again, it also depends on the region too...I find madrileñas to be among the worst as well as vascas (but you know why I say this last part...because of their well-known manly features that other Spaniards always comment about).
I also find them "mojigatas" -- hypocritical when it comes to morality and meeting men. Many of them secretly think Scandinavian women are sluts because they have less complexes, but then when Spanish women travel abroad away from their village, they act just as bad if not worse.
1000000% agreement on foreign women in Spain. THE BEST. I always meet girls from Finland, France, Ireland...nice, cheerful, no bitter dark looks, no scowls or attitude....I like blondes anyway so that's also a plus...even though Barcelona and Valencia have plenty of blonde girls compared to the rest of Spain...but anyway, thanks for your post. Glad to see a local agree on many points.
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