Post: #1

Texting a girl at the moment,we talked about going out a while back but because we've both been quite busy it never happened and I hadn't spoken to her again until today. I sent her a text this morning asking her when she was taking me out for a drink and she's replied:

"You should be a gentleman and buy the drinks on the first date... "

That's not going to happen, I'm not being her personal ATM for the night especially as I'm not even sure whether I like her that much anyway. How do you reply telling her that you'll go out but you're not paying without looking like a cheapskate?

Post: #2

I would respond:

"OK. You got it! I'll buy the drinks on the first date like a gentleman, my bar is now open, come on over Monday night for a drink on me. Needless to say, now you should respond like an upscale lady and accept my invitation......my adress is 123 Mainst St,"

Notice I said Monday night for a good reason: it takes away her need to make a decision, and she likely has nothing to do reducing her flakiness to zero.

Have fun with this, but put her on the spot playfully while escalating to a sexual vibe!

Do not take her out for drinks if she declines!! If she does, tell her you'll buy her an ice cream cone on the first date instead. It sends a message that you are in control and call the shots.


Mixx

Post: #3

"I'm not even sure whether I like her that much anyway."

This is the hidden key.

I wouldn't take any girl out for drinks that I didn't think was fly and I didn't want to swoop. (Nor would I waste anytime with, unless she offered me something in other ways).

It sounds like she isn't that fly and you don't want to swoop her that bad.

Try Mixx's angle or go out and find more girls.

Side note:

The whole dilemma in this thread is more evidence why texting is weesh when swooping girls.

The whole issue could have been avoided with some strong Phone Game.

Post: #4

appearing cheap = refusing to offer her a 5$ beer or 7$ alcoholic drink on a date (avoid dinner dates).

frugal (i.e. reasonable) = refusing to take her out to a fancy restaurant to wine and dine her if she aint your sweetheart.

Post: #5

Ignore what she said. Proceed as usual, set the date. She's probably the type who will say no if you suggest you won't pay. Make her come to your hood for drinks.

If you really want to avoid paying, you could try sitting at the bar early and get a drink before she arrives, and then she'd have to get one herself.

(07-30-2011 12:49 PM)metalhaze Wrote:  appearing cheap = refusing to offer her a 5$ beer or 7$ alcoholic drink on a date (avoid dinner dates).

frugal (i.e. reasonable) = refusing to take her out to a fancy restaurant to wine and dine her if she aint your sweetheart.

It's not about paying or being cheap. Sprezzatura is the name of the game.

You're going up to the bartender, you order drinks, you pay. It's awkward to split apart.

Or you take a table, waitress and all. She drops the bill on the table, you continue shooting the breeze for a minute or two. This gives her a chance to volunteer to split. If she doesn't, don't flinch. You throw in your card regardless.

You go to the froyo shop. Get in line ahead of her, and pay for yourself. She won't ask you to whip out your card again to pay for her froyo, unless she's a total bitch. A bitch will think a man not paying is a "dealbreaker."

If I can smoothly avoid paying, I do. Otherwise, I pay, and I don't mind so much because she has driven 20-40 minutes to see me.

Pretty sure your girl is a bitch though. And a tease.

Post: #6

(07-30-2011 01:16 PM)basilransom Wrote:  Ignore what she said. Proceed as usual, set the date. She's probably the type who will say no if you suggest you won't pay. Make her come to your hood for drinks.

It's often a bad sign if a girl can't even be playful at the text stage (setting the date) and immediately resorts to bitchy challenges to your manhood ("a real gentleman" type of shit). I didn't even see a smiley after that statement. This is definitely a flake risk.

Your best best to salvage is to do as Basil said and ignore the remark. At the bar, jump at the opportunity to "buy the first round," implying she will buy the second. If she doesn't volunteer to buy the second and things are going poorly, you can bail with minimal expense. If things are going well, and she seems like a genuinely cool girl, it won't kill you to buy another drink to keep things lubricated. Or if does offer to pay the second, you can do something I often do for subsequent rounds: offer to share a drink with her. It saves you the cash and gets her psychologically ready for fluid exchange with you.

Option II is to have her meet you at your place where you'll have a "starter drink" before going to you "favorite place in your neighborhood." This allows to you work some classic game techniques in your lair.

Post: #7

Just be honest from the start and refuse the date because you are broke.
I remember when I was unemployed some girls even offered to pay for the whole thing, or suggested to go to some cheaper place...

Another option is going on some sort of date that doesnt require money, such as, hiking, running, surfing or any other activity from your region

Post: #8

Think of it from her point of view.

You were cockier than most in your initial txt. You asked HER to buy YOU drinks. She is teasing you back in a playful way. Take it as such. Don't take her so seriously.

Post: #9

(07-30-2011 01:16 PM)basilransom Wrote:  You go to the froyo shop. Get in line ahead of her, and pay for yourself. She won't ask you to whip out your card again to pay for her froyo, unless she's a total bitch. A bitch will think a man not paying is a "dealbreaker."

I tried this once with a chick and while I was placing my order she loudly told the cashier, while standing behind me in line:

"And I'll have a small mint chocolate chip"

that annoyed me so I told the girl to hand me the $ she was gonna use to pay for it. She gave me the $ but only after she tried to give me attitude and shit for it

Post: #10

Quote:It sounds like she isn't that fly and you don't want to swoop her that bad.

This is true, I actually couldn't give a fuck about her, I'm messing around more than anything.

Quote:Just be honest from the start and refuse the date because you are broke.

I'm not broke, you missed the point. I have money, I don't mind spending it but I won't pay for a girls night out. She wants to go on the date so she can pay her own way or stay home.

Quote:that annoyed me so I told the girl to hand me the $ she was gonna use to pay for it. She gave me the $ but only after she tried to give me attitude and shit for it

That reeks of cheapness.

I thought I'd have a list of golden replies to chose from by now, there's really not much. I want to text her back to put her in her place if nothing else. No one has suggestions?

Post: #11

I have this problem every time i go out. I'm traveling on a budget and every dime i spent means that i have less money for the remaining places i visit.
This morning me and my girl (22 year Peruvian hottie) were hungry as fuck when getting out of bed. We walked along the street and she saw a pizzahut. Lets go there she said.
The food is good and all but i spent 60 soles ( over 20 dollars) on one big pizza and some lemonade, Thats 60 % of my daily budget in one meal.
I try to even out the money by eating cheap food when alone but it still sucks. I hate it when i spent a shitload of money in a poor country where food is cheap.

I wrote a post on how to date cheap a while ago :
http://www.aroundtheworldin80girls.com/2...el-my-way/

Post: #12

Once met a Persian girl who was 29 or so, which is ancient among Persian girls, and she told me she lets the men pay because it empowers them, and preserves their manlihood.

(07-30-2011 06:23 PM)Gringo Wrote:  This is true, I actually couldn't give a fuck about her, I'm messing around more than anything.

I thought I'd have a list of golden replies to chose from by now, there's really not much. I want to text her back to put her in her place if nothing else. No one has suggestions?

Maybe you shouldn't post threads then.

And you can't put a woman in her place over text.

Post: #13

Quote:This is true, I actually couldn't give a fuck about her, I'm messing around more than anything.

On one hand you don't care about her,

Quote:That reeks of cheapness.

And on the other hand you deeply care about not looking cheap.


No wonder you don't know what to do, you're a walking contradiction.

Post: #14

(07-30-2011 06:23 PM)Gringo Wrote:  I thought I'd have a list of golden replies to chose from by now, there's really not much. I want to text her back to put her in her place if nothing else. No one has suggestions?

I don't know about the other guys, but I find this somewhat offensive. Dudes give what they have, man. I wouldn't put it down simply because it doesn't meet your unrealistic standards.

Post: #15

(07-30-2011 08:14 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

(07-30-2011 06:23 PM)Gringo Wrote:  I thought I'd have a list of golden replies to chose from by now, there's really not much. I want to text her back to put her in her place if nothing else. No one has suggestions?

I don't know about the other guys, but I find this somewhat offensive. Dudes give what they have, man. I wouldn't put it down simply because it doesn't meet your unrealistic standards.

Ha! Diddo for me too!

Man up and tell her to come to your place and tell her to stop acting like spoiled brat! If she declines...NEXT!!!

Mixx

Post: #16

This doesn't apply to the OP, but I think guys are taking the "don't spend money" shit too far.

There are plenty of situations where you shouldn't be dropping big bills on a chick, but a lot of you come off looking broke, which is worse than looking cheap, especially for those on here who like Latinas.

Post: #17

(07-30-2011 01:16 PM)basilransom Wrote:  Ignore what she said. Proceed as usual, set the date. She's probably the type who will say no if you suggest you won't pay. Make her come to your hood for drinks.

If you really want to avoid paying, you could try sitting at the bar early and get a drink before she arrives, and then she'd have to get one herself.

(07-30-2011 12:49 PM)metalhaze Wrote:  appearing cheap = refusing to offer her a 5$ beer or 7$ alcoholic drink on a date (avoid dinner dates).

frugal (i.e. reasonable) = refusing to take her out to a fancy restaurant to wine and dine her if she aint your sweetheart.

It's not about paying or being cheap. Sprezzatura is the name of the game.

You're going up to the bartender, you order drinks, you pay. It's awkward to split apart.

Or you take a table, waitress and all. She drops the bill on the table, you continue shooting the breeze for a minute or two. This gives her a chance to volunteer to split. If she doesn't, don't flinch. You throw in your card regardless.

You go to the froyo shop. Get in line ahead of her, and pay for yourself. She won't ask you to whip out your card again to pay for her froyo, unless she's a total bitch. A bitch will think a man not paying is a "dealbreaker."

If I can smoothly avoid paying, I do. Otherwise, I pay, and I don't mind so much because she has driven 20-40 minutes to see me.

Pretty sure your girl is a bitch though. And a tease.

True, all good advice. I personally have seen some guys who take the NEVER pay thing too far and they appear broke, specially if they are in their 30s and constantly complain about how everything is expensive.

Post: #18

This is why texting is a crock of shit unless its something really specific. Like an address or a quick note. But to test the waters for a date?

Tone is everything and you lose that in a text.

Maybe she was joking?
Maybe she was serious?
Maybe it was a shit test?
Maybe she has no interest?

You can spend hours analysing this shit like a chick, or you can phone her and judge how the call went by the tone of her voice and her levels of enthusiasm and leave it at that. At the same time, if you hit voicemail more than once and have left a message, you can move on if there is no response. Bitches will text you endlessly because bitches are tied to their phones, but they are chicken shit to take a phone call if they have caller ID and they have no interest. Use this to you advantage and filter.

Not only that, but everyone is texting. Do something different. If she asks why, just say "I dont have time for that texting bullshit. Its impersonal." If she is into you she is going to come up with a positive rationalisation anyway, if not it will be negative no matter what you say.

On a side note, if you invite anyone out for a drink or a meal, you expect to pay and you dont make a big deal out it. Man, woman, vegetable, does not matter. Basic manners that should not be thrown out the window because feminists or PUA's have a problem with it. At the same time, if she does not offer to buy the odd round or two, its a sign that you are dead in the water too IMO, so it allows you to test her too.

Caveman and old school at all times.

Post: #19

(07-30-2011 06:23 PM)Gringo Wrote:  

Quote:It sounds like she isn't that fly and you don't want to swoop her that bad.

This is true, I actually couldn't give a fuck about her, I'm messing around more than anything.

Quote:Just be honest from the start and refuse the date because you are broke.

I'm not broke, you missed the point. I have money, I don't mind spending it but I won't pay for a girls night out. She wants to go on the date so she can pay her own way or stay home.

Quote:that annoyed me so I told the girl to hand me the $ she was gonna use to pay for it. She gave me the $ but only after she tried to give me attitude and shit for it

That reeks of cheapness.

I thought I'd have a list of golden replies to chose from by now, there's really not much. I want to text her back to put her in her place if nothing else. No one has suggestions?

Dude your replies are constantly offensive and negative. If you haven't got anything good to say why write it? It's not the rooshvwhineforum. Sure I may not always agree with people's replies, but it doesn't mean I am going to take every given opportunity to shoot them down as you seem to do.

"I thought I'd have a list of golden replies to chose from by now, there's really not much"

Honestly?

Post: #20

Quote:I don't know about the other guys, but I find this somewhat offensive. Dudes give what they have, man. I wouldn't put it down simply because it doesn't meet your unrealistic standards.

Easy tiger. No offense was meant so you shouldn't take any. At the point of me posting that only Mixx had actually came up with a reply, was just hoping some others might have a different take on it. Choices and all that

Quote:On a side note, if you invite anyone out for a drink or a meal, you expect to pay and you dont make a big deal out it. Man, woman, vegetable, does not matter. Basic manners that should not be thrown out the window because feminists or PUA's have a problem with it. At the same time, if she does not offer to buy the odd round or two, its a sign that you are dead in the water too IMO, so it allows you to test her too.

No if I ask my mates to go out for a drink, I don't pay for them. It's expected that we'll all pay our way. Why should it be any different with a girl who I don't know and who is happy to come out for a drink with me. I don't see any logic in why I would pay just because I asked. She wants to come along, she should want to come along regardless of whether I'm picking up the bill or not. If she asked me out I wouldn't have any expectations that she would be paying for it, we all know that would never happen anyway.

Anyone who's taken offense to my post, apologies, wasn't meant like that at all. Cheers for the input.

Post: #21

(07-31-2011 04:47 AM)Gringo Wrote:  No if I ask my mates to go out for a drink, I don't pay for them. It's expected that we'll all pay our way. Why should it be any different with a girl who I don't know and who is happy to come out for a drink with me. I don't see any logic in why I would pay just because I asked. She wants to come along, she should want to come along regardless of whether I'm picking up the bill or not. If she asked me out I wouldn't have any expectations that she would be paying for it, we all know that would never happen anyway.

Manners bro, and basic etiquette.

When you and your friends go out you are in a group and you buy rounds, its because you already know each other and there is familiarity. If you get a meal you either just split it down the middle or someone picks the check up. I agree with that.

But if you INVITE someone you hardly know for drinks, dinner, lunch, whatever? YOU OFFER TO PAY. Grab the check when it comes and insist on paying when they offer to get it. They are not your friends and its a gesture of respect and gratitude for their time. That goes for men or women and its basic manners IMO. No different to making sure you dont cut a fart at the dinner table.

Its basic hospitality. You entertain them. You make it easy for them and you make them feel comfortable, and in the process you charm them. That is what you are doing when you invite people out when you dont know them well.

I know this is contrary to PUA theory and many of the feminist bishes these days take offense to it, but to resort to throwing basic manners down the drain to impress a piece of ass or buy into a social expectation you have no respect for is ridiculous.

We all have our own ways I guess, so keep doing your thing if you feel it works for you. I use social settings as a way to measure people and the way people conduct themselves in a restaurant, bar or on a golf course speaks volumes.

Post: #22

Quote:I thought I'd have a list of golden replies to chose from by now, there's really not much.

What an asshole. I just suspended his posting privileges for one week and the first day he comes back he offends everyone who took the time to reply to his game 101 question.

He's not paying us yet he's getting mad that we didn't hold his dick while trying to get some girl... I've seen it all!

Post: #23

Gringo -

"No if I ask my mates to go out for a drink, I don't pay for them. It's expected that we'll all pay our way. Why should it be any different with a girl who I don't know and who is happy to come out for a drink with me."

Do your "mates" give you a blower at the end of the night also?

Read what Hooligan Harry says. He is smart.

You invited her. (Expect to pay).

You texted her (weak Game move.)

Post: #24

" if I ask my mates to go out for a drink, I don't pay for them. It's expected that we'll all pay our way. "

so you never pay your mates a drink ? 7$ wont break you, specially if you have a steady job.

Post: #25

(07-31-2011 06:05 AM)Roosh Wrote:  What an asshole. I just suspended his posting privileges for one week and the first day he comes back he offends everyone who took the time to reply to his game 101 question.

He's not paying us yet he's getting mad that we didn't hold his dick while trying to get some girl... I've seen it all!

You're right. Good riddance. After thinking about it, I realize this guy's been trolling and flame-throwing for a long time. He was a mini Bigbootyluvr, from a while back. He was the turd in the punchbowl in the discussion about age difference, insulting people left and right who said they found a girl who's under 18 attractive.