Post: #101

I held back from jumping into this thread to see where it was going.

I wasn't surprised.

-Control
-Frame
-Psych
-Disrespect

Bitches literally say random shit all the fucking time. It never ceases to amaze me what I hear come out of their mouths.

Some of that shit is just literally in the moment, especially with movies, tv, tabloids and all that other bullshit.

You'll never be able to control what a bitch says - you shouldn't.

It should already be ingrained of how a woman acts with you from the get go.

I've never had a woman say anything like that in front of my friends.

They might of said they thing such and such actor is hot which I drop an actress or model I'd love to bang. (In Private)

In the given case of the OP - me being the sarcastic asshole I am, I'd of dropped a funny diss.

"Better step up your game" -with a shit eating grin - would be perfect and right up my ally.

Checks her, makes her hamster spin, and starts qualifying herself.

Your friends will probably laugh, she gets embarrassed. It's a win/win.

She can't come back at you without looking stupid.


Anytime a woman says something annoying I just pull sarcastic asshole comebacks - you know what i get ? A playful slap/punch on my shoulder.

Life goes on, and bitches have ADD and talk about something else a minute later.



Also,

WIA is spot on how this shit is with females.


Think about it - you reacting to her comment like that.

Shows weakness, jealously, and insecurity - over a guy she'll never meet or fuck on TV.

Lashing out on her doesn't do any good. Also doesn't help in front of your friends.

If you have to pull her aside and be "hey babe earlier tonight I didn't like...." like WIA said.

She's rolling her eyes in her head and seeing you as a weaker man.



Sometimes the best reaction is a non reaction or a funny retort.

Getting super alpha red pill brah serious about every little thing she says is crazy.

Post: #102

^ Agree.

IF you think the girl is worth keeping around as an LTR, I'd go even further, and lean to the funny retort over the non-reaction. The funny retort sets boundaries that the non-reaction doesn't, but most importantly, it's funny.

"Yeah, he's a good-looking guy. Wasn't he with Kate Upton? Man, I'd love to get my hands on those ... interviews of her." Most importantly, your grin should look exactly like this handsome motherfucker's:

Post: #103

If you can think of a funny retort on the fly, by all means spit it out. I'd do the same.

But wit isn't exactly my strongest suit. I know, from experience, that the last thing you want to do here is have your lips quiver and eyes dart from side to side as you try to THINK of a clever retort.

If you're one of those people, then your default reaction should be a non-reaction, or at least an ambiguous raised eyebrow.

Again, if a good retort immediately comes to mind, that doesn't give away any butthurt, then shoot.

Post: #104

(03-29-2016 12:03 PM)kaotic Wrote:  I held back from jumping into this thread to see where it was going.

I wasn't surprised.

Yep.

(03-29-2016 12:03 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Getting super alpha red pill brah serious about every little thing she says is crazy.

It's not just crazy. It's insecure which means it is literally the opposite of game. I can't even understand how guys are relating the "it's disrespect so she must be put in her place" comments with Roissy. Is this the same Roissy that says aloof and indifference are the most basic fundamentals of game?

WIA talks about “too much red pill not enough game”. I can’t speak for anyone else but that used to be my biggest problem so I get it. An easy cure is to spend 5 to 10 hours practicing game in real life for every 1 hour you spend reading the manosphere.

Post: #105

(03-27-2016 02:54 PM)Anabasis to Desta Wrote:  If it was just me and her i wouldn't give it a second thought.

Last night however i had a couple of people over. Some random show was playing on the muted TV & she said "Oooooh wow, he is soo hot" and did that hand fan to the face theatrical gesture. I pretended not to have heard or seen anything but everybody's eyes in the room darted towards me to gauge my reaction. Kept it cool and finished my cigarette.

It was one of those situations where if i said something I'd be dubbed as insecure and the fact that i didn't say anything was slightly value lowering as well.

What would you have done?

This ones easy. Look over at her and real matter of factly say, "yeah I'd fuck him too". Her mind is now off of tv guy.

Post: #106

@kaotic

Quote:If you have to pull her aside and be "hey babe earlier tonight I didn't like...." like WIA said.

Who's saying that? Those were WIA's words.

Quote:You'll never be able to control what a bitch says - you shouldn't.

It should already be ingrained of how a woman acts with you from the get go.

Agreed. The responses here for the most part have been reactive which is missing the larger point here. Tight game is not finding yourself in this situation in the first place. (The situation in the broader sense, meaning finding yourself negatively affected emotionally by something, anything that comes out of her mouth, not this specific situation)

Quote:Bitches literally say random shit all the fucking time. It never ceases to amaze me what I hear come out of their mouths.

"I like turtles" = random comment

"Did you hear what sarah did omg that betch!" = random comment

"That guy is so hot!" fan gesture = Not random.

There's nothing "random" about the comment she made; it's a deliberate attack on his standing.

@birthdaycat

They are attributing the dismissive, agree and amplify type comments to Roissy, though they are not coming from the same abundance mentality he preaches.

Post: #107

(03-29-2016 01:22 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  There's nothing "random" about the comment she made; it's a deliberate attack on his standing.

How do you know it's a deliberate attack? We know nothing about her body language, tone of voice, if she has been drinking, if she is insecure or jealous, etc.

She is a woman. Sometimes she gets emotional and sometimes she does dumb things. She might speak before she thinks. She might forget for a split second that she is surrounded by more people than just her 4 girlfriends. She might be jealous because another girl was flirting with her guy and she responds with a comment like that without even knowing why she did it.

We talk about women being immature, overgrown children, and their actions being dominated by their flighty emotions but as soon as a woman says something negative some of you guys think her brain magically turns into a logical supercomputer that will test a man's "alpha" in every conceivable way.

But it doesn't work like that in real life.

These automatic assumptions that women are always up to no good and testing you with everything they say and trying to take advantage of you with everything they do - that is the scarcity mindset - that is "too much red pill not enough game" - that is why you need to take a break from all the culture wars and theory in the manosphere.

Post: #108

(03-29-2016 01:22 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  @kaotic

Quote:If you have to pull her aside and be "hey babe earlier tonight I didn't like...." like WIA said.

Who's saying that? Those were WIA's words

Yeah I'm quoting WIA on how he thinks it's ridiculous and hilarious that sounds that a man would do that.

Quote:"That guy is so hot!" fan gesture = Not random.

There's nothing "random" about the comment she made; it's a deliberate attack on his standing.

He isn't standing on much if she's saying that, but you'll hear girls say that all the time, I don't care if you're a 10 on the scale, she sees some famous dude on TV and she'll STILL say that.

Now I've never been in that sort of situation personally, but can tell you I grimaced when a girl said watching TV in front of her man.

The only out I see in this is retorting with something funny as fuck that will shut her up.

When it comes to bitches I'm always easy going and funny, plus being a sarcastic asshole.

Just like was said, in the beginning, if she knows you're witty, intelligent, and can think of comebacks on the fly - she won't fuck with you.

I had this happen yesterday with an 18 year old giving me sass - I shut her ass down with good comebacks and she said "you win".

Always make sure a bitch knows not to poke the bear.

Post: #109

(03-29-2016 01:22 PM)Red_Pillage Wrote:  @kaotic

Quote:If you have to pull her aside and be "hey babe earlier tonight I didn't like...." like WIA said.

Who's saying that? Those were WIA's words.

Quote:You'll never be able to control what a bitch says - you shouldn't.

It should already be ingrained of how a woman acts with you from the get go.

Agreed. The responses here for the most part have been reactive which is missing the larger point here. Tight game is not finding yourself in this situation in the first place. (The situation in the broader sense, meaning finding yourself negatively affected emotionally by something, anything that comes out of her mouth, not this specific situation)

Quote:Bitches literally say random shit all the fucking time. It never ceases to amaze me what I hear come out of their mouths.

"I like turtles" = random comment

"Did you hear what sarah did omg that betch!" = random comment

"That guy is so hot!" fan gesture = Not random.

There's nothing "random" about the comment she made; it's a deliberate attack on his standing.

@birthdaycat

They are attributing the dismissive, agree and amplify type comments to Roissy, though they are not coming from the same abundance mentality he preaches.

Exactly

"Ya'll...I'd love to suck that guys cock" Isn't a random comment. In the context presented by OP she may as well said that...IMO

My perspective isn't from a fragile ego or insecurity in myself. It's from a deeper understanding of where that vocal carelessness comes from in her . Disrespect, thoughtlessness, etc. stems from a lack of appreciation (appreciation...another topic worthy of in depth discussion)

I've only ever had one girl come out with something similar to this so for some to say "it's common"...well not in my world. I find it more than a bit surprising that some would.

Biggie or no biggie...We'll have to agree to disagree on this one

Post: #110

(03-29-2016 01:49 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  My perspective isn't from a fragile ego or insecurity in myself. It's from a deeper understanding of where that vocal carelessness comes from in her . Disrespect, thoughtlessness, etc. stems from a lack of appreciation (appreciation...another topic worthy of in depth discussion)

I've only ever had one girl come out with something similar to this so for some to say "it's common"...well not in my world. I find it more than a bit surprising that some would.

Biggie or no biggie...We'll have to agree to disagree on this one

I can agree with that is absolutely true, it DOES go deeper than a random comment.

I think this should be discussed in depth.

I suppose anytime I ever heard it is at my friends house grabbing a beer in the garage when their wives watch that The Bachelor show.

I've never heard my guys gals say that in passing at a bar or out and about.

Papaya meeting you, I know you're a no bullshit kind of guy, I get the vibe you'd smack that shit down immediately after it happened or nexted her.

I can see why - I just haven't experienced a bitch shit testing me like that.....yet.

I know I'd go the route of negging her ass in front of everyone if she disrespected me - making her look stupid at the same time.

I've done something similar and got called an asshole for it, of course I just laughed.

Post: #111

(03-27-2016 03:05 PM)PartManPartMonkey Wrote:  You have a few options if you want to save face:

1) Take your belt off and spank her right in front of everyone

2) Pull your pants down and demand she give you a blowjob right in front of everyone

3) Get up, walk over to the TV, pick the TV up, and then throw the TV out the window (bonus points if the window is closed)

"What would El Mech do?"

All of the above then use her credit card to pay for a new TV and window

Post: #112

(03-29-2016 02:39 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(03-27-2016 03:05 PM)PartManPartMonkey Wrote:  You have a few options if you want to save face:

1) Take your belt off and spank her right in front of everyone

2) Pull your pants down and demand she give you a blowjob right in front of everyone

3) Get up, walk over to the TV, pick the TV up, and then throw the TV out the window (bonus points if the window is closed)

"What would El Mech do?"

All of the above then use her credit card to pay for a new TV and window

El Mech punishing one of his bitches:

Post: #113

@birthday

Quote:How do you know it's a deliberate attack? We know nothing about her body language, tone of voice, if she has been drinking, if she is insecure or jealous, etc.

Have you ever heard a woman who respects and admires her man, whom she holds in high esteem speak this way? Me neither.

Quote:She is a woman. Sometimes she gets emotional and sometimes she does dumb things. She might speak before she thinks. She might forget for a split second that she is surrounded by more people than just her 4 girlfriends. She might be jealous because another girl was flirting with her guy and she responds with a comment like that without even knowing why she did it.

Quote:We talk about women being immature, overgrown children, and their actions being dominated by their flighty emotions but as soon as a woman says something negative some of you guys think her brain magically turns into a logical supercomputer that will test a man's "alpha" in every conceivable way.

For a guy who reads a lot of Heartiste you seem to be missing a few of the basics; IE that women are actually very pragmatic in their mate choices, due in part to their constant fitness testing of their men, a topic which your namesake has hammered on relentlessly.

Quote:These automatic assumptions that women are always up to no good and testing you with everything they say and trying to take advantage of you with everything they do - that is the scarcity mindset -

Not scarcity, it's the acceptance of the fact that woman are in fact hypergamous and that are in fact running a much different script than we are as far as their sexual strategy is concerned. That's called realism, not "scarcity mentality".

Tolerating disrespect / playing into their frame would fall under scarcity for obvious reasons.

Quote:that is "too much red pill not enough game" - that is why you need to take a break from all the culture wars and theory in the manosphere.

This i certainly agree with.

Post: #114

(03-29-2016 01:49 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  "Ya'll...I'd love to suck that guys cock" Isn't a random comment. In the context presented by OP she may as well said that...IMO

My perspective isn't from a fragile ego or insecurity in myself. It's from a deeper understanding of where that vocal carelessness comes from in her . Disrespect, thoughtlessness, etc. stems from a lack of appreciation (appreciation...another topic worthy of in depth discussion)

I've only ever had one girl come out with something similar to this so for some to say "it's common"...well not in my world. I find it more than a bit surprising that some would.

Biggie or no biggie...We'll have to agree to disagree on this one

To me you're expecting a whole lot of perfection from a flawed creature. Especially you guys dating chicks 22 and under. Biologically Her brain hasn't fully formed much less her understanding of society and social graces.

Like you guys have never heard chicks honestly ask the question, "Was that wrong?" Her whole young life is spent trying to navigate murky social waters.

If a chick is generally impulsive and driven by emotion, how can she then be logical and weigh all of her words for social impact?

Birthday cat is right.

And I'm the odd the man out for not liking chicks under 25.

To think that some chick who's only real talents are starving herself and putting paint on her face it pains me to see my brethren put on tilt because of an outburst of what they themselves view as mental children.

WIA

Post: #115

(03-27-2016 02:54 PM)Anabasis to Desta Wrote:  If it was just me and her i wouldn't give it a second thought.

Last night however i had a couple of people over. Some random show was playing on the muted TV & she said "Oooooh wow, he is soo hot" and did that hand fan to the face theatrical gesture. I pretended not to have heard or seen anything but everybody's eyes in the room darted towards me to gauge my reaction. Kept it cool and finished my cigarette.

It was one of those situations where if i said something I'd be dubbed as insecure and the fact that i didn't say anything was slightly value lowering as well.

What would you have done?

Yeah. He is hot. Kinda like Ricky Martin. I bet they both suck a mean dick.

Post: #116

(03-29-2016 04:06 PM)vinman Wrote:  

(03-27-2016 02:54 PM)Anabasis to Desta Wrote:  If it was just me and her i wouldn't give it a second thought.

Last night however i had a couple of people over. Some random show was playing on the muted TV & she said "Oooooh wow, he is soo hot" and did that hand fan to the face theatrical gesture. I pretended not to have heard or seen anything but everybody's eyes in the room darted towards me to gauge my reaction. Kept it cool and finished my cigarette.

It was one of those situations where if i said something I'd be dubbed as insecure and the fact that i didn't say anything was slightly value lowering as well.

What would you have done?

Yeah. He is hot. Kinda like Ricky Martin. I bet they both suck a mean dick.

Doubling down on the fuckery, I knew I liked you for a reason !

Shit like that just absolutely destroys a hamsters frame of thought.

Post: #117

Not to sound Internet Tough Guy, but...

I would have half-smirked, raised an eyebrow, and cooly examined her.

I'm not the sort of guy you have to worry about when I'm emotional; I'm the sort of guy you need to worry about when I'm calm. If you piss me off enough to get me angry, it means I still care about you and I'm not going to hurt you; if you piss me off enough to make me calm, it means that I now consider you a threat, or an enemy, or a liability. I go into survival mode, and I don't care two figs about how it affects you.

After the friends left, best case scenario, I would have told her that if she every broadcasts that she's a slut in public again that I'm done with her. If she doesn't like being called a slut for squirting pussy juice in public like a cat in heat then that's her problem. Worst case I immediately next her, and come up with an excuse to kick her out the door.

That sort of behaviour is way out of line.

Post: #118

One thing I think we're disregarding here is the frame of the relationship... *before* all of this happened.

I don't think girls come out of the blue with highly disrespectful behaviour. It's usually a progression. If you've allowed minor disrespect in the past, it's possible that it's escalated to this point.

A girl that's strongly into you and fully accepting of your frame wouldn't disrespect you by mistake. If were a slip of the tongue, she'd correct herself instantly.

I'm no master on this topic by that's my 2c.

Post: #119

I'd just point out how hot some actress on TV is; if she gets angry over you doing the same thing as her then that's a bad sign, and I would be leery about seriously dating her.

Post: #120

Women like the security of a man who can put them in their place and check them when they misbehave.

If she can walk all over him, how can he protect her and her family? How can he stand up to other guys? They will intentionally try to push your buttons to see what you're made of.

Hell, this isn't exclusive to women. It's common throughout all walks of life, it's part of human nature. As young as two, kids will test their parents to see what they can get away with. Even adults do it at the office and at the bar. People are always pushing limits.

If a chick openly disrespects me, we both know exactly what she's doing.

I can tolerate a lot, but disrespect is one of those I can't. If it's someone I could care less about, I laugh it off, ghost, and never think about it again. If it's a close friend or someone I've already established rapport with, it's a different story.

I don't think coming up with a witty line would work for my personality, it would just feel like I'm deflecting and forgiving her shitty behavior, and I'd feel weaker as a result. I know some of you guys can pull it off with detached confidence but I don't think I could.

If I'm being openly disrespected by someone that I've spent time with and established some level of trust with, its going to affect me and I'm gonna say something about it. At that point her options are to fall in line, or walk.

There's a right way and wrong way to go about it. If I were to go to her with some weak ass Dr Phil "Honey, we need to talk about our feelings, I was really hurt when you blah blah" of course she's gonna see me as a bitch, rightly so. On the flipside, I can look her dead in the eyes and tell her I know exactly what she's doing, and I won't tolerate disrespect from anyone. She can either cut that shit out, or get the fuck out.

To give absolutely zero fucks about anything a woman does will show them you have options and she's replaceable. It will play into her insecurities and make her wanna chase what she can't get for a while. And she will also know you don't give a fuck about her. I don't know if I'd want to keep a woman around who realizes that and still kept the chase alive.

I think women crave a sense of being owned by a powerful man. Checking her bad behavior shows her that yes, you care enough about her that she can push your buttons, but no, you won't let her walk over you. It shows that you've got standards, and you're ready to drop her over them if she gets out of line. If she respects you at all, she will be afraid of losing you. Fear and power are related, and power is an aphrodisiac to women. Shit testing is part of a woman's nature, and will happen at some point to men that aren't ultra alpha players. If she learns her lesson and shapes up, she's worth keeping around a while longer; if not, she's worth dropping.

Disappointing to say, but the norm for women's behavior is so shitty right now, it's almost never even worth the effort.

Post: #121

I'm not exactly sure how my words got so twisted around by others.

WIA, you're conflating insecurity with self respect.

I have self-respect and I won't be around people or allow them to be part of my life if they disrespect me.

I will tell them about it and expect them to either shape up or I'll ship them right out of my life.

It's not about control at all, it's about self-respect and not wanting to waste my time.

I've had these conversations with parents, siblings, coworkers, plates, LTRs, neighbors, etc...

It's essentially making it clear what I will tolerate and cutting ties if it continues. It's a win/win outcome either way.

It's not, "my feewings are hurt when you talk about that guy" it's about making sure my expectations are clear.

I've learned the hard way that you can't control anyone; the only person in life you can control is yourself. A crucial lesson in life.

Post: #122

(03-29-2016 04:06 PM)vinman Wrote:  

(03-27-2016 02:54 PM)Anabasis to Desta Wrote:  If it was just me and her i wouldn't give it a second thought.

Last night however i had a couple of people over. Some random show was playing on the muted TV & she said "Oooooh wow, he is soo hot" and did that hand fan to the face theatrical gesture. I pretended not to have heard or seen anything but everybody's eyes in the room darted towards me to gauge my reaction. Kept it cool and finished my cigarette.

It was one of those situations where if i said something I'd be dubbed as insecure and the fact that i didn't say anything was slightly value lowering as well.

What would you have done?

Yeah. He is hot. Kinda like Ricky Martin. I bet they both suck a mean dick.

They probably both suck a better dick than you.

Post: #123

Somebody said something about a threesome earlier..

"Really? We should get ahold of him and have a threesome. An old fashioned spit roast. Maybe we can even get him to invite one or two of his buddies"

I would not be able to say this without laughing, which is basically claiming the stronger frame. Also you're underhandedly calling her a slut in front of her friends.

I probably wouldn't be able to think of this on the fly.

Edit: "he looks like a faggot to me" cue collective gasps at the F word

Post: #124

Two tenets to keep in mind:

1. Never ever be affected by what a girl says. Or at least let it be seen.
2. Encourage positive behavior, discourage negative behavior.

What this girl said isn't the most horrible thing in the world and she doesn't need to be checked on the spot. But, I wouldn't go so far as to say it is a neutral statement. It is in my eyes, without a shadow of a doubt, a negative statement. Ask yourself, does your ideal girl do this? And yes, I will say I have met and dated girls who would never, ever do this. Let's not pretend this is normal behavior.

You don't have to go scorched earth. But she'd lose some mental points with me. It would definitely change the way I treat her. Something like that would get her closer into simply being a girl in my rotation as opposed to my full-fledged girlfriend. Because I don't date girls who make it a habit to poke and prod your ego and masculinity in front of their friends.

Imagine her as a wife. Yeesh.

Post: #125

(03-29-2016 09:43 PM)Nascimento Wrote:  One thing I think we're disregarding here is the frame of the relationship... *before* all of this happened.

I don't think girls come out of the blue with highly disrespectful behaviour. It's usually a progression. If you've allowed minor disrespect in the past, it's possible that it's escalated to this point.

A girl that's strongly into you and fully accepting of your frame wouldn't disrespect you by mistake. If were a slip of the tongue, she'd correct herself instantly.

I'm no master on this topic by that's my 2c.

^^^This.

This didn't happen in a vacuum. There's a difference between a careless, even flippant remark from a girl and one that is a verbal slap in the face. Is it in itself a major offence? Of course not. But it's definitely symptomatic of a larger issue

As I said in a previous post: "disrespect is like a cancer". It will only grow if not "treated" or excised altogether

(03-29-2016 10:49 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  WIA, you're conflating insecurity with self respect.

I have self-respect and I won't be around people or allow them to be part of my life if they disrespect me.

I will tell them about it and expect them to either shape up or I'll ship them right out of my life.

It's not about control at all, it's about self-respect and not wanting to waste my time.

It's not, "my feewings are hurt when you talk about that guy" it's about making sure my expectations are clear.

I've learned the hard way that you can't control anyone; the only person in life you can control is yourself. A crucial lesson in life.

^^^This goes to my previous post about "appreciation". Most people don't really consider much less understand the word. But suffice it to say that if a girl/woman truly values you this type of peccadillo would never even arise because her consideration wouldn't allow it