Post: #1

All of the first date threads I see here revolve around getting the girl back to your place to bang, but I'm sure there are plenty of guys who either don't have the logistics for this or simply prefer the long(ish) game. I wanted to create a space to share thoughts on running the ideal first date when the goal is to bang her another day. Some principles I've picked up:

-Venue bouncing is still key, as it keeps things fresh and gives the date a slightly adventurous feel girls love. I find that if I stay in one bar for a long time, the conversation inevitably descends into forced bullshit like work and those boring-as-fuck "getting to know you" questions (e.g. "so what kind of TV shows do you like?"). Unfortunately, it seems every girl I meet takes an hour and a half to finish one drink and I haven't found a way around it. Another obstacle is that it can be hard to find a nice downtown area with multiple venues to hit if you live in the burbs, but at the very least there should be a nearby park you can bounce to after the bar/coffee shop/whatever.

-Physical escalation is a must. These suburban dates can easily take on a very platonic/asexual vibe if you're not careful. Plan your venue bounces such that the last place you're at is somewhere conducive to being physically close--a park bench works just fine--and don't be afraid to make blatant moves. I've seen some guys recommend starting out with inadvertent touches and working your way up, but I've found that suddenly holding a girl's hand or putting your arm around her with no buildup works just fine if you're connecting conversationally.

-According to Heartiste, it's a bad idea to force the kiss close. A kiss is great if you can make it seem like a natural progression, but it's awkward and unpleasant if you do it because you feel like you need to. I can confirm that I have, in fact, banged girls that I didn't kiss on the first date.

Others who don't go for the bang on day 1, please feel free to chime in with your thoughts and experiences.

Post: #2

Why is your goal to bang on another day?

Logistics? Work the next day?

I think the goal is to push the interaction as far as you can on the first date and leave it up to her to deny you. I don't discount long game but I think it should be used for social circles for when you hang out in groups or at places you frequent often.

Other than that and/or terrible logistics there is no reason not to push the interaction as far as you can. If you know you can't get the bang though just focus on building the sexual tension higher and higher then suddenly cut it off. Leave no release. That will make her crave you, your touch and it will dominate her mind. Then date 2 will be a layup.

Post: #3

Yeah, in my case logistics are no good for first date bangs. I would think that's the case for any guy who lives in a suburban/rural environment, which is the majority.

Also I wanted some discussion on the elements of a first date that don't involve trying to pull the girl back to your place, which is lacking on here as far as I can tell (link me if I'm wrong).

Post: #4

In this type of scenario, a nice car is probably a prerequisite. I live in a walkable city environment so I just have girls park at my place then walk to the date spot with me.. then walk back to my place after. My resources go towards my apartment and I drive an old ass Honda for commuting to work that none of my girls have ever seen.

In the rare case that I do need a nice car, I just rent one for $50 or so. You can go through traditional rental agencies or apps like Turo which are kind of like the AirBnb of cars. This could be very useful for dating in suburban environments.

So in your situation, I would advise meeting for drinks for the first date, and as logistics apparently won't be on your side, use this time to showcase you're a cool fun guy and just keep it casual and focused on having fun. You definitely should try to get a kiss on the first date so you don't get friendzoned. Even if it's just a peck. You can ease into it. Halfway through the date, play a game or make some kind of bet where you get a kiss on the cheek if you win the game/bet. It can be as simple as thumb wrestling if your delivery is good.

Then, make the 2nd date cooking dinner at your place. Tell her you're cooking your famous pizza and she has to bring one special ingredient of her choosing to add. Boss her around and make her your little helper in the kitchen.

And of course the beauty of this 2nd date is you won't need to worry about getting her back to your place because well.. she's already there.

Post: #5

This is a good idea for a thread. Sometimes the whole "escalate , escalate, escalate!" thing can get over done. Especially by a newbie reading this stuff.

He starts over touching, putting his arms around, or otherwise blows out the girl. He may try to bounce her to his place on a first date when she's not giving any signals she's ready for that. I did that some at first, blew out some girls who were initially into me and went through the whole learning curve.

I like to let a woman give me signals if at all possible before anything more than light arm, or small of back touching (when she's walking out of the venue) and certainly kissing.



Many girls aren't ready to be brought to your place on a first date. If you push too hard, they'll just blow out and there will be no second date. It's all about that cliched term "calibration", but it's so true. You have to become adept at reading the girl, her feedback. In close conversation, is she looking at your lips any or at least looking deeply into your eyes?

Or, is she talking to you while averting her eyes alot and still seems stiff?

Now sometimes, these girls who seem a bit more distant or 'non touchy' will agree to bounce to your place.

But usually, their body language and eye feedback and what they say ( I have to get up early for work) are congruent with their willingness to go to your place. i.e., they're not ready to do it.

It's never a bad idea to suggest going to your place to "check something out" you talked about earlier on any and all dates.

However, if she declines, I usually say 'cool, let's get another drink' or call it a night soon thereafter. Hopefully, I'll be able to secure a good kiss which often will lead to a second date.

As far as not forcing the kiss close", you must always go for a kiss at the end of the first date if you haven't already kissed earlier in the date.

If she won't kiss you back or you get the cheek, in my experience, she is NOT romantically interested and is just using you because she had nothing else to do that night/ wanted free drinks/ wanted validation, whatever.

I've never banged a girl who refused my kiss on the first date. If she doesn't kiss you or kisses you in a stiff non-yielding way, I wouldn't ever contact her again.

You buy her drinks or take her out for a nice time and she can't kiss you? Time and money waster right there. Fuck that.

Post: #6

I think this thread is great. Especially for those of us who aren't drinking. I think same night lays are exceedingly rare on non-alcoholic first dates. I've never had one. Hell, second dates are only 50/50 after non-alcoholic first dates.

Recently, I've been viewing first dates as more of a connection building opportunity personally and not really having any outcome in mind. I'll meet for coffee midweek. Then if the logistics are right a walk in a nearby public area or something similar. If there's a connection then fantastic and I'll seed a day 2. Of course, girls being girls day2s are far from guaranteed even when there's good chemistry. A couple weeks ago I had a really good first date with a cute russian girl. At the end she wouldn't stop sucking face after I walked her to her car. We had some good banter SMS exchange over the next few days, planning for a second meetup when our schedules allowed. Then all of a sudden she ghosts - completely MIA. It's like WTF and pretty frustrating.

Post: #7

^^^^^^

I've been thinking about this recently, and I've come to this conclusion. One day, maybe not today or tomorrow ,when those girls have gotten older,they're going to look back at the times when they were chased after and long for those times to return.

They're going to wish they could connect with the charming young man that grabed their number in a coffee shop. Though as much as they wish they could rewind time, they can't . It will all be just big "what if"

It's like this, I remember growing up and hearing old laidies talk about the boy down the street they knew when they were young. Often times they'd speak about him as if they missed fleeting opportunity.

Most females don't realize it's over until it's over. At the time it's over for them it just begins for men.

All I have to say to them is : sucks to suck

Post: #8

(03-21-2016 05:36 PM)robreke Wrote:  As far as not forcing the kiss close", you must always go for a kiss at the end of the first date if you haven't already kissed earlier in the date.

I've wondered about this ever since reading that Heartiste post. He as a point. If you haven't been able to build up a lot of physical escalation throughout the date, is it really best to force in a kiss at the end? It comes off as awkward and contrived. As I said earlier, I have ultimately banged girls I didn't kiss on the first date.

Post: #9

(03-21-2016 09:19 PM)Delta Wrote:  

(03-21-2016 05:36 PM)robreke Wrote:  As far as not forcing the kiss close", you must always go for a kiss at the end of the first date if you haven't already kissed earlier in the date.

I've wondered about this ever since reading that Heartiste post. He as a point. If you haven't been able to build up a lot of physical escalation throughout the date, is it really best to force in a kiss at the end? It comes off as awkward and contrived. As I said earlier, I have ultimately banged girls I didn't kiss on the first date.

I think going for the kiss signifies to the girl that you are physically attracted to her, and she's going to want to know that. It's also going to give you a good sign if she's into you and that there'll be second date.

Post: #10

I agree with robreke. While 1st date/ SNL seem to be the accepted gold standard in the forum it's likely counterprodcutive in many instances...except for the few who have that skill set and logistics.

I'm definitely a 2nd, or even 3rd date bang niche game guy. Almost always have been. My conversion rate on 1st dates/meeting is really low (I'd say about <10% alsthough I've been on a bit of a 1st date streak lately) but jumps to about >90% on 2nd. That's because my game is primarily about logistics and letting my pad and my lifestyle do most of the heavy lifting. First date I focus on real rapport and comfort building with some low key kino and sexual tension (NO KISSING...I repeat NO MAKEOUT unless we ARE in a bang location ie my couch. This is where I disagree with others...but it's just my personal style). with the 2nd date being the goal from the onset. Since 2nd date is always at my place I pretty much know (with very rare exception) that ass is mine

Post: #11

(03-22-2016 11:12 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  NO KISSING...I repeat NO MAKEOUT unless we ARE in a bang location ie my couch.

This is amazing, and kudos to you for making it work. The only chicks I haven't kissed on a first date (regardless of whether I'm about to lay them) are those where it was going nowhere anyway due to a lack of chemistry or attraction.

I'm always a little concerned that even if I'm not going to get the bang due to logistical reasons, that not initiating a kiss makes me look too passive. Kissing cements the attraction and the man-to-woman vibe. But like I said, kudos to you for making it work. I think ultimately if there is attraction on her part the kiss/lack of a kiss won't matter. Taking it to the point-of-no-return may be detrimental, of course.

Post: #12

(03-22-2016 11:12 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  First date I focus on real rapport and comfort building with some low key kino and sexual tension (NO KISSING...I repeat NO MAKEOUT unless we ARE in a bang location ie my couch. This is where I disagree with others...but it's just my personal style). with the 2nd date being the goal from the onset. Since 2nd date is always at my place I pretty much know (with very rare exception) that ass is mine

It makes sense from the perspective of Tuth's First Date Bang recipe - the idea that once you've kissed outside of your pad, the next logical step for her when you invite her back is something sexual. If you haven't kissed and invite her in, she still has plausible deniability in her head that "at most we'll make out."

So do you usually just run the 1st Date Bang routine when you go for the 2nd date?

Post: #13

(03-22-2016 11:31 AM)griffinmill Wrote:  

(03-22-2016 11:12 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  NO KISSING...I repeat NO MAKEOUT unless we ARE in a bang location ie my couch.

I'm always a little concerned that even if I'm not going to get the bang due to logistical reasons, that not initiating a kiss makes me look too passive.

I think a lot of it depends on the rest of your vibe. An inexperienced guy who clearly looks like he wants to try a kiss but pusses out or does something extremely uncomfortable is going to be penalized. A guy who clearly has some talent with women is instead going to make them wonder.

I think building rapport and comfort is key. If you can't do those things and then don't escalate anything they just think you're clueless.

Post: #14

Dont over look efficiency by knowing your (desired / intended )audience. The more you get up to bat the more hits you're going to get ...My game works best with certain types of chicks.,,,not at all with others. I don't waste time pursuing the type that I know likely won't....unless I detect a chink in their armor.



Screening for the tell tale signs of those, where and when they go improves my efficiency...A lot



I posted the following re this topic in another thread. It really is about developing your own style and playing to your strengths and competencies.


/thread-49521-...pid1085806

Quote:This model works way better for me. I've said it before but I stink at first date bangs unless there's alcohol or weed in the mix. But second date conversion rate is way higher. The time between 1st and 2nd dates is like a "cushion" or passive comfort building period. I had a feeling that's what Travesty was encountering. The 20 yo is just not slutty enough to throw down on a first date...insufficient comfort. I also had a feeling he'd close her if he got her back...and he did

Quote:Well my game is pretty "niche" for lack of a better word...so I'm not sure how much of this will be helpful to you. I'm 44 so I've been "gaming" chicks since long before I even knew that I was gaming (or it was called that) . I'm only into younger women but I'm 6ft 3 keep in shape and look younger but my logistics are by far my best asset. I live in an upscale beach community and my house is literally within 2 blocks of 11 different bars, restaurants, cafe, etc... My front patio faces a street where people often park when going to those venues. (I often sit outside and work on my laptop. I have one buddy that refers to my patio as "spider game" with me just waiting for "victims" to walk by. Patio/spider game is a whole other post)

Long story short on first dates I usually try to hit two or three of those venues (where bartenders and staff know me...big plus) then bounce to my house. If we're drinking and I can get them to my house it's usually a done deal. Once they are there I have tons of DHV material: pics of where I've traveled, with other hot chicks, I keep a surfboard and snowboard in the corner of my home office that's plainly visible when I give "the tour". There's even a pic of me with a well known celebrity (another story) clearly visible when someone comes out of the bathroom. You might say I'm playing "Most Interesting Man In The World Game" at my house. Girls eat that shit up.

But if I get them home and make a move but see I'm not going to close I usually wrap it up quickly with something along the lines "Hey, I've had a great time but I've got an early day tomorrow. We should hang out again...buh bye". I won't let it linger and let it get awkward. The trick is to make them know they fucked it up...even if they dont know how exactly

I'll then open it back for a 2nd date a couple days later with a text something along the lines of the "I had a dream about you" I suggested above or "You still want to learn to surf?" ...calibrated to the girl and whatever is 1st date specific. IE tailored to whatever happened (kiss, petting, finger bang) etc. Second date is just a funnel for getting her back to my house. I've gone as far as 4 dates to close but those have been rare and actually been a long time.

Like I said it's pretty niche to me but I hope some of that helps. I guess the short answer[b] to getting 2nd date is to remain enough of an interesting mystery that the hamster wants more[/b]

Post: #15

When do you decide to invite a girl to your place on a first date? Are you calibrating? Only if you get a make out? or very strong IOIs are present?

Or, do you always invite a girl to your place on the first date regardless of what her "feedback" is giving you? i.e., always go for the first date bang.

Are you ever the one to "call" the end to the first date even if it's going okay, because, you don't sense she's ready to come to your place yet, but you want to leave her "wanting more" and go for the Second day?

Is there anything to lose by inviting her to your place and getting turned down on the first date as opposed to "waiting" to ask her on a day 2 or beyond?

Seeking general consensus...

Post: #16

I'm actually at a point now where I want to get to know girls better before I bang. Plus not banging on the first date takes a lot of the pressure off of me and the experience is a lot more pleasant. Still happens on the first date but now that I date mostly foreign/international types I don't even worry about it. 2nd date is a must though.

Post: #17

(03-19-2016 07:18 PM)Delta Wrote:  All of the first date threads I see here revolve around getting the girl back to your place to bang,

With good reason. If you're personality game isn't at the tip top yet, you can take advantage of hormones and the "feeling in the air" to have sex, and then she invests in you. That gives you breathing room for the next bang, FB status, or put her on track for an open an LTR.

But...I see where you're coming from

(03-19-2016 07:18 PM)Delta Wrote:  but I'm sure there are plenty of guys who either don't have the logistics for this or simply prefer the long(ish) game. I wanted to create a space to share thoughts on running the ideal first date when the goal is to bang her another day. Some principles I've picked up:

I've devolved
1) Back in the day - night game to 1st date to 2nd date/3rd date then bang
2) Then it was night game to ONS
3) Now it's social circle/day game to 1st date.

I think I'm leaning back towards #1 nowadays.

(03-19-2016 07:18 PM)Delta Wrote:  -Venue bouncing is still key, as it keeps things fresh and gives the date a slightly adventurous feel girls love. I find that if I stay in one bar for a long time, the conversation inevitably descends into forced bullshit like work and those boring-as-fuck "getting to know you" questions (e.g. "so what kind of TV shows do you like?"). Unfortunately, it seems every girl I meet takes an hour and a half to finish one drink and I haven't found a way around it.

I avoid drink dates if I'm going to extend the screening/qualification period.
I've made bad decisions when I've had a few and she has had a few more.

Is her mind active? She's cute/fine off break, but rotation chicks need a brain now.

(03-19-2016 07:18 PM)Delta Wrote:  Another obstacle is that it can be hard to find a nice downtown area with multiple venues to hit if you live in the burbs, but at the very least there should be a nearby park you can bounce to after the bar/coffee shop/whatever.

Yeah, this is definitely macro-game.

If you're in a walking city, usually there's a few neighborhoods with enough density of cool stuff that makes it easy. And if you're really on your game, you live in that neighborhood.

In a driving city, you obviously have to limit the alcohol, but
- Day time - daytime event that's high energy, to slow down coffee/ice cream etc
- Night time - Dinner 1 place, dessert/drinks elsewhere

And if you really want to make the hamster spin, start @ 7 and end it at 10. Cut it off when you're having fun.

(03-19-2016 07:18 PM)Delta Wrote:  -Physical escalation is a must. These suburban dates can easily take on a very platonic/asexual vibe if you're not careful. Plan your venue bounces such that the last place you're at is somewhere conducive to being physically close--a park bench works just fine--and don't be afraid to make blatant moves. I've seen some guys recommend starting out with inadvertent touches and working your way up, but I've found that suddenly holding a girl's hand or putting your arm around her with no buildup works just fine if you're connecting conversationally.

Solid.

Two schools of though
- inadvertent to advertent touching.
or
- be bold

Both styles are purposeful. What you can't do is be timid with either.

And then when it comes to "kino", if you can hold a hand and then turn up the heat a bit, and you sense that she starts to withdraw -

Don't go back down to holding her hand, withdraw from her completely.

Make her miss you. Ideally she re-initiates the physical contact.

You always want to break it off first.

(03-19-2016 07:18 PM)Delta Wrote:  -According to Heartiste, it's a bad idea to force the kiss close. A kiss is great if you can make it seem like a natural progression, but it's awkward and unpleasant if you do it because you feel like you need to. I can confirm that I have, in fact, banged girls that I didn't kiss on the first date.

You can kiss way earlier in the date, just make it a light lip to lip kiss.
And then pulling back and not hammering it home builds mystery, or it makes her think that something's off because you're not acting like every other horndog out there.

(03-19-2016 07:18 PM)Delta Wrote:  Others who don't go for the bang on day 1, please feel free to chime in with your thoughts and experiences.

Good stuff.

Non-Bang 1st Date is really an intermediate technique.

You want to show that you aren't needy, but at the same time show that you're basically a "threat". This won't be hanging out with some loser, you're going to put her through the paces.

And for guys that like to "chooser" frame, if you take the bang off the table, and see what else she can do to impress you - it only amplifies the "judgmental" vibe. At the same time, you have to catch and release. You can't be "Mr. No Girl is Good Enough for Me" the entire time. She needs to feel like she's winning you over.

However, given that this is more an intermediate thing - guys just getting started SHOULD NOT DO THIS.

You're fooling yourself and not really gaining any skills. Without the killer instinct of 1st date bangs, the novice player is still a typical beta that she always dates.

WIA

Post: #18

This is going to be a long post...but I'll try to keep it focused on what I learned from my experience over the last two years.

I agree with a lot of WIA has to say, but I can tell you I was disappointed with my results from following the "1st date bang" model through most of 2015.

I got into game in mid-2014. Throughout 2015, I was operating all my dates with a first date bang mindset.

I track basic info (day/night, where I met them, did we go on a first date). I do this because I feel like I don't know where to improve, if I don't have a good picture for where I stand.

So as a beginner-intermediate gamer in 2015:

- I collected 170 phone numbers in 2015 (excluding my trips abroad).
- About 50% from night game and 50% from day game.
- I went on 40 first dates that year, mostly with girls I met during the day.
- Out of these 40 girls, I banged 4 of them.
- 3 were on a 1st date, and 1 was on a 3rd date.

So 4 bangs from 40 first dates. A 10% conversion.

Who were these girls?

Two of the 1st date bangs were Asian 20 year olds who I took to coffee, both early on a Sunday evening, we sat in outside in a secluded patio area. We kissed very briefly in the patio area, we chatted some more, and then I said, "let's go pick up a bottle of wine and get a drink at my place." In both of these cases, I did not follow Tuth's 1st date bang model. Rather, I made small talk for 30 minutes. Then I moved to "The Questions Game" which allows the conversation to get sexual in a way that's comfortable for her.

The last 1st date bang was a White girl I met at night, the day before Thanksgiving, maybe 23 years old, and it came as a surprise. We were on our date at a bar two weeks later and she made a very forward comment like, "You know Jagnum...you're very handsome." I've never had a girl compliment me on my looks. I could tell she was very interested. Also, she was highly responsive to my touch. It took everything I had to not kiss her in the venue, but it made for hot sex when we got onto my bed. (Tuth's advice came in handy here!)

The last bang in 2015 from a date was a 28 yo Latina. I brought her back to my place on the 2nd date, but didn't bang. She was out of the country for a few months. I ended up banging her on our 3rd date when I hit her up before Christmas.

--

So only four bangs out of 40 girls from 1st dates. A 10% conversion rate. I consider that pretty bad. Not to mention it was driving me crazy. I would ask myself, "But I followed the Tuth recipe perfectly..." Why are these girls not coming back to my place? And more importantly, why aren't they texting me after the 1st date?

From these 40 1st dates, how many many 2nd dates do you think I went on? Five, maybe ten? The answer is three. Three 2nd dates the entire year in 2015. I couldn't believe it at first, when I took a closer look at all of the girls I met in 2015, I realized it was true.

(One was a girl I already banged, one of the 20-year old Asians. The second was the Latina girl I mentioned, who I ultimately banged on our third date. The third was a Norwegian girl I met in March. We never had a first date, and then six months later I hit her up with a restart text on Thanksgiving. She's up to meet again. We went on two dates in December, but we only got as far as kissing on my bed...)

What did I learn?

I'm absolutely convinced that I lost most, if not all, of the girls I went on 1st dates with in 2015, by becoming too touchy before they were ready, and trying to get them to my place at all costs on the 1st date. It sucked.

If you've offered to go back to your place on a 1st date and she won't come into your house, or she comes into your house but doesn't have sex with you, the odds you'll bang her, let alone see her again, are very slim. This is for a 1st date. The reason is you've activated her "This guy only wants sex" by trying to end the date at your place.

When you have a short 1st date instead, you keep her guessing.

I think the 1st date bang works better for younger girls, under 21. They are flaky by nature, so strike while the iron is hot. They are hornier and more DTF than the over-22 girls who have had their fair share of cock.

I've met in person players on this forum who have had great success with 1st date game. I can see why they do so well. But I'm not one of them.

As a beginner and intermediate gamer, you should have a plan for each date. But read between the lines to see if a girl is DTF. How does she respond to your touch? If her body language is poor, don't push for sex that first date and end the date short. Is she touching you back, like running her hands down your arms at the venue? This is probably the biggest indicator she is DTF.

It is not even necessary to kiss a girl on a first date. I've banged girls I didn't kiss on the first date. If your first date is 45 minutes at the coffee shop in the early evening, it's best not to kiss her at all. She might expect you to take her to some other venue (like out to dinner...lol) after the coffee shop, but just tell her you have to go meet some friends. You'll leave her wanting more.

How do I operate now?

I really wonder something—if I didn't push so hard to go back to my place with all 40 of those girls, I'm convinced I would have had more bangs. But such is life. I'll chalk up to game all the hot girls I went out with on first dates, and never saw again.

At least where I live, pushing for the first date bang is the wrong strategy. Going in too aggressive on the first date with your touching or mention of sexual topics is a sure fire way to kill your chances at sleeping with her.

Nowadays, my ideal strategy is to run a first date like this:

1. Go to coffee shop and talk for 45 minutes. Be a little flirty. Acknowledge how "I know it's crazy we met on the subway, but there was something about you...I could just tell our conversation would be good." Cold read.

2. My other 1st date is to go to a weekly music night. We have the chance to talk for the first 30 minutes, then the music starts, so we talk less and maybe we dance for a bit with my hands on her hips, and then after one hour passes, I tell her I have to go home because it's late and I need to get up early.

(Note: With Option 2. make sure to ask her to the weekly music night or whatever fun event you'd go to anyway at the end of THE APPROACH. This makes planning the first date is as easy as, "hey, are we still on for live music?" She can either say "yes" and we work out details, or ignore your question and you know she's not interested.)

Keep the first date short. 45 minutes to an hour. One venue.

So far in 2016, I've made the mistake of going on longer one-and-a-half hour 1st dates, to two venues, with three very cute girls—one was a brunette 7 and the other two were blond 8's (fuck the blondes were hot). I wrote about those dates in this post:

/thread-24128...pid1245790

I'm convinced, that if I kept each of those dates to 45 minutes and one venue, I would have second dates instead of radio silence.

I'm in the camp with PapayaTapper, Robreke and OTSC. 2nd or 3rd date. Roosh says the same thing in Bang and Day Bang.

Don't make the same mistakes I made in 2015. Good luck OP.

Post: #19

Excellent post Jagnum! You are really working hard to improve your game and at the same time giving us a thought or two.

Post: #20

Reviving this old thread.

What are you guys talking about on first dates?

For me I want to leave the chick with a feeling of he's cool I want to fuck him.

I avoid talking about work but the chick usually brings it up.

I ask questions to get to know the chick like where's she's originally from.

Does she have any siblings etc.

Obviously we expand on each topic and I talk about myself as well.

How can I stear the conversation to make it fun and even slightly sexual.

I heard the question game?

Post: #21

(03-21-2016 09:30 PM)monster Wrote:  

(03-21-2016 09:19 PM)Delta Wrote:  

(03-21-2016 05:36 PM)robreke Wrote:  As far as not forcing the kiss close", you must always go for a kiss at the end of the first date if you haven't already kissed earlier in the date.

I've wondered about this ever since reading that Heartiste post. He as a point. If you haven't been able to build up a lot of physical escalation throughout the date, is it really best to force in a kiss at the end? It comes off as awkward and contrived. As I said earlier, I have ultimately banged girls I didn't kiss on the first date.

I think going for the kiss signifies to the girl that you are physically attracted to her, and she's going to want to know that. It's also going to give you a good sign if she's into you and that there'll be second date.

^ Co-signed.

I always go for the kiss at some point during the first date, or whatever you want to call meeting a girl for the first time. And I do it for all the same reasons you expressed.

(03-22-2016 11:12 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  I agree with robreke. While 1st date/ SNL seem to be the accepted gold standard in the forum it's likely counterprodcutive in many instances...except for the few who have that skill set and logistics.

I'm definitely a 2nd, or even 3rd date bang niche game guy. Almost always have been. My conversion rate on 1st dates/meeting is really low (I'd say about <10% alsthough I've been on a bit of a 1st date streak lately) but jumps to about >90% on 2nd. That's because my game is primarily about logistics and letting my pad and my lifestyle do most of the heavy lifting. First date I focus on real rapport and comfort building with some low key kino and sexual tension (NO KISSING...I repeat NO MAKEOUT unless we ARE in a bang location ie my couch. This is where I disagree with others...but it's just my personal style). with the 2nd date being the goal from the onset. Since 2nd date is always at my place I pretty much know (with very rare exception) that ass is mine

For me, it's all about making progress. As long as I get closer to sex with each date, I'm good. It's when things plateau, or certainly, regress, that I start losing interest.

First dates can be nerve-racking no matter how long you've been in the game, and as gay as it might sound, I don't mind not having sex on the first date, or at least not putting the pressure on myself to "make it happen." If it happens, it happens, but if not, it's not the end of the world. Ironically, I think letting myself off the hook for this has, at times, led to sex happeningly more easily than had I chosen to consciously push harder for it the first night. In other words, this shift in my thinking, or rather my expectations, has produced something of a serendipitous side effect of greater outcome independence which, in turn, has helped me to more easily secure same night lays.

Typically, I'm a second or third date (sex) guy myself. Just knowing she wouldn't be there unless she really wanted it makes it so much easier, and really takes the pressure off.

Post: #22

I don't bother going for the bang on the first date if I know the logistics aren't going to work or if I can tell from experience that she's probably going to need more dates. If you are still getting good though I advise you to try it anyway.

My go to for first dates if I'm not going for the bang is to take her for coffee somewhere that's really good (I live in the best coffee city in the world) then go for a walk through the botanical gardens and find a nice spot. Nothing too special. A venue bounce is key though. The more places the better.

Post: #23

Old thread perhaps, but gold material inside. My thoughts on the matter:

To bang or not to bang on 1st date
Like a lot of you, I used to want to bang at all cost on Day2. The problem are that I can't really enjoy the date since I got pressure to bring her to my place and if you do, you either bang her or never see her again. Besides, now that I'm at a more intermediate level, I use the day2 to screen more deeply the girl: I prefer to bang girls I have a connection with, not dumb sluts. My standards have risen indeed. If the girl doesn't meet my criteria (some are boring as fuck), next!
Say what you want, I believe day2 is too soon for some girls to bang (for my style of game at least). Furthermore, will you die if you bang on day3 and not on day2?

How I calibrate
Unless I have time constraints (I'm on vacation and I leave the next day, or she leaves my city the next day, etc), in which case I do try to bang on day2, I will aim to bang on day3 and at least kiss on day2. But, if my 1st date (day2) goes really well and the sexual tension is strong, I will probably try on day2 anyway. Happened to me several months ago: the chick did even suggest herself the pull (do you have movies at your place? hahaha I got How I banged you).

General highlights of my dates
Day2

• venue bouncing
• kino escalation : induce strong sexual tension
• deep connection : let her talk more, and dig more deeply
• Kiss her: to make sure no friendzone or that she's just a girl looking for attention/validation

Day3
I tell her to meet at X metro station (the closest from my place), meet her there and pull directly to my apartment.

Post: #24

Great thread. My social game is hit or miss now a days. I don't believe in "chemistry or any of that bs." I believe its up to the man to force the connection. Example from last night: her: "I don't like dark alchoal, I perfer mixed drinks" me: "I hear that (high five, followed by my fingers interlocking hers without letting go) I love ameroetto sours. (I actually only like them and prefer dark drinks like henny) I make the bomb ameroetto's at home. (Seed planted, no need to hammer it home) Can't believe our zodiac signs says were so compatible" blah blah blah you get the idea. I believe any man can "connect" with any female.

I've got most of my ons on the dance floor. Dance floor game is underatted if you ask me. No talking, just escalate. Purposely try and get them horny.

If its a daytime date, I'm shooting for 2nd or 3rd day bang. Night time date, straight to a night club with a dance floor.