Post: #1

Without giving too much away, there's a guy I'm friends with/semi-work with who keeps going after my scraps. He has a huge circle of friends, and twice within the last year I've met a girl he was friends with, then hooked up with her and dated her for a bit. Then when things went cold he'd decide it was okay for him to try and pursue them, always with long-term relationships in mind. Most recently he proudly declared to a group of people, myself included, that he was essentially in love with a girl he had known for years that I happened to have recently been in a fling with. I've told him I'm not comfortable with it because I don't want to hear about or see this girl in order to get over her and move on, and it just reeks of boundary-crossing and thirst on his part. But he's still intent on going out with her and talks to her all the time.

In my opinion, if a guy hooks up with a girl or dates her then she's damaged goods. She may be hot as shit, but this goes against the abundance mentality that guys should have when it comes to women.

What do you guys have to say about situations like this?

Post: #2

While it may bother you, i'm of the belief that once the contract between you and the ex is over that she is fair game for anyone including your friends. You should get over her and take solace in the fact that you hit it and quit it first.

It sounds like there's a bit of oneitis with this previous girl. Do you still have feelings for her? Did things end on a poor note with her?

If you want to be really devilish, tell your buddy about how you used to blast raw inside her when he starts to talk about her. That'll most likely shut him up.

Post: #3

^ I'm on the other side of the fence. There are too many girls out there to be swooping up your boys' exes and creating unnecessary tension and awkwardness. If it's just some broad you both banged and you're eskimo bros then thats one thing whatever, but fucking with girls that your friends have history with is not cool in my book.

Post: #4

(01-11-2016 12:15 PM)The Beast1 Wrote:  While it may bother you, i'm of the belief that once the contract between you and the ex is over that she is fair game for anyone including your friends. You should get over her and take solace in the fact that you hit it and quit it first.

It sounds like there's a bit of oneitis with this previous girl. Do you still have feelings for her? Did things end on a poor note with her?

If you want to be really devilish, tell your buddy about how you used to blast raw inside her when he starts to talk about her. That'll most likely shut him up.

I'm not gonna lie, there was a bit of one-itis and things ended on a really weird note. Right now I'm trying to focus on moving on, but that's impossible when he's trying to bring her into his life. It's just too soon for me to be able to process all this.

EDIT: And due to how often I'm around this guy, I don't want any unnecessary tension. I can get rid of the girl, but I can't afford (Or want to) get rid of the guy.

Post: #5

(01-11-2016 12:27 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  

(01-11-2016 12:15 PM)The Beast1 Wrote:  While it may bother you, i'm of the belief that once the contract between you and the ex is over that she is fair game for anyone including your friends. You should get over her and take solace in the fact that you hit it and quit it first.

It sounds like there's a bit of oneitis with this previous girl. Do you still have feelings for her? Did things end on a poor note with her?

If you want to be really devilish, tell your buddy about how you used to blast raw inside her when he starts to talk about her. That'll most likely shut him up.

I'm not gonna lie, there was a bit of one-itis and things ended on a really weird note. Right now I'm trying to focus on moving on, but that's impossible when he's trying to bring her into his life. It's just too soon for me to be able to process all this.

It's alright bud, oneitis happens to the best of us.

Go with the General's advice up top then, talk with your bud and say you need some time to let go before he brings her up.

If this dude is a true friend he'd understand. He's probably just dumb and is trying to make conversation. He might view you as some sort of "player" and looks up to you in that girl/relationship department and is just looking for things to talk about.

Post: #6

This can usually be avoided if your friend would have just asked ahead of time if it's cool with you, but maybe he didn't think he had to because he introduced you to her or something. I don't know, I don't see this happen all that often since I got out of the office environment.

When it comes to shorter term relationships that don't work out, the best line I've ever heard that gets me to snap out of it if thoughts like yours ever start creeping in is this:

"She was never yours, it was just your turn."

Post: #7

If you truly have an abundance mentality you would have a Give a Phuck frame and attitude.

There is only two types of poontang - Tang YOU bang and Tang you do NOT BANG...

If you are not banging it why do you GAF???

Get over it by getting OVER another Bangler and hitting it. NEXT.

Life is short BANG hard!

Post: #8

He was friends with the girl even before you met her.. From another perspective you should be asking him if he's ok with you trying to bed her, since he may already be working on doing so.

I do understand your point, just giving you another view on the whole situation.

Post: #9

Sounds like your scene is too small, like a college or a small town.

WIA

Post: #10

(01-11-2016 12:05 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  Without giving too much away, there's a guy I'm friends with/semi-work with who keeps going after my scraps. He has a huge circle of friends, and twice within the last year I've met a girl he was friends with, then hooked up with her and dated her for a bit. Then when things went cold he'd decide it was okay for him to try and pursue them, always with long-term relationships in mind. Most recently he proudly declared to a group of people, myself included, that he was essentially in love with a girl he had known for years that I happened to have recently been in a fling with. I've told him I'm not comfortable with it because I don't want to hear about or see this girl in order to get over her and move on, and it just reeks of boundary-crossing and thirst on his part. But he's still intent on going out with her and talks to her all the time.

In my opinion, if a guy hooks up with a girl or dates her then she's damaged goods. She may be hot as shit, but this goes against the abundance mentality that guys should have when it comes to women.

What do you guys have to say about situations like this?

Let me get this straight:

-OP bangs a chick that his buddy was friends with
-OP doesn't like when buddy goes after his leftovers

Did you ever think maybe your friend had the feels or maybe even fucked the girls you did in the past year ?

So maybe he thought it was fair game to go after your sloppy seconds ?

How good of a friend is this guy ? This sounds like he's a social circle friend, not a dude you regularly confide with.

Get over your ex, it's over dude, game/fuck other girls. Take her off the pedestal. NOW. You need to accept you might see some exes every now and then.

Personally I'd question if this guy really is a friend or not, thing is, you both banged within your social circle.

You've told him how you feel and he's still pursuing.

A guy is going to fuck, who he wants to fuck.

A man will know when not to cross the line.

I think we need a little bit more detail on your "friend" before we make a better consensus.

Post: #11

How old are you OP?

Post: #12

(01-11-2016 01:20 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Let me get this straight:

-OP bangs a chick that his buddy was friends with
-OP doesn't like when buddy goes after his leftovers

Did you ever think maybe your friend had the feels or maybe even fucked the girls you did in the past year ?

So maybe he thought it was fair game to go after your sloppy seconds ?

How good of a friend is this guy ? This sounds like he's a social circle friend, not a dude you regularly confide with.

Get over your ex, it's over dude, game/fuck other girls. Take her off the pedestal. NOW. You need to accept you might see some exes every now and then.

Personally I'd question if this guy really is a friend or not, thing is, you both banged within your social circle.

You've told him how you feel and he's still pursuing.

A guy is going to fuck, who he wants to fuck.

A man will know when not to cross the line.

I think we need a little bit more detail on your "friend" before we make a better consensus.

Some more backstory - This is a guy who I talk to pretty much every day and who I see in person fairly regularly. Even knowing him for a few years he had never talked about this girl before, I had never seen her in person before, I had never seen her presence on social media, etc. She was an absolute stranger to me. He would also talk all the time about girls he was interested in, and never once was her name brought up. It's only after I hooked up with her that suddenly her name is brought up more frequently and this guy gets the hots for her.

It's a tricky situation in terms of abundance mentality - I'm thinking this guy should have an abundance mentality where he doesn't need to get my leftovers, while at the same time I should have an abundance mentality where I don't care about this girl and whether or not she hooks up with my friends. This situation has produced more drama than it needs to, and I think it's best if we both just let her go.

Post: #13

(01-11-2016 12:05 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  Without giving too much away, there's a guy I'm friends with/semi-work with who keeps going after my scraps. He has a huge circle of friends, and twice within the last year I've met a girl he was friends with, then hooked up with her and dated her for a bit. Then when things went cold he'd decide it was okay for him to try and pursue them, always with long-term relationships in mind. Most recently he proudly declared to a group of people, myself included, that he was essentially in love with a girl he had known for years that I happened to have recently been in a fling with. I've told him I'm not comfortable with it because I don't want to hear about or see this girl in order to get over her and move on, and it just reeks of boundary-crossing and thirst on his part. But he's still intent on going out with her and talks to her all the time.

In my opinion, if a guy hooks up with a girl or dates her then she's damaged goods. She may be hot as shit, but this goes against the abundance mentality that guys should have when it comes to women.

What do you guys have to say about situations like this?

There's a lot of minutiae at play in smaller social circle dynamics so it's tough to generalize. That said if I go to the extent of discussing an issue with a guy/friend (which I don't do lightly) asking him not to talk about it in front of me and he ignores it... then that's a sign of disrespect. Personally I'd have to drop a version of "Yeah I'm happy for you,..so how do you like the taste of my dick when you kiss her? You've done it a couple times now so you must"

Post: #14

Realistically, won't most of us be taking somebody's sloppy seconds in the long run, whether you know the guy or not? With virgins becoming such a rare and steadily decreasing thing, most of us when dating a girl will logically be taking a woman who has been fucked by at least two or three other men, right?

Post: #15

(01-11-2016 02:09 PM)rw95 Wrote:  Realistically, won't most of us be taking somebody's sloppy seconds in the long run, whether you know the guy or not? With virgins becoming such a rare and steadily decreasing thing, most of us when dating a girl will logically be taking a woman who has been fucked by at least two or three other men, right?

Yes BUT it IS different when a friend of yours, who you told not to go after an ex fuck buddy/GF/LTR etc, and STILL goes after her.

I accepted long ago that literally every girl I've banged but 1, have been fucked by another dude. That's fine and dandy - but it IS different when your best friend fucks your ex. (Which happened to me)

OP's situation is a bit different, it seems like he knows this guy on a regular basis but isn't the best of friends with him.

He told him to cool his jets on this girl, and the guy went to afterburners.

Regardless best friend or not, it's clear this is a man you can't confide in.

Thing is, if it was a serious LTR like my last, I'd have issues with it. If it was just another girl I fucked, I just laugh knowing that I blew my load on her face.

Post: #16

Guys can get killed over doing shit like this.

Only a year or so ago some guy at one of the gyms I go to walked inside, straight up to his mate and beat the crap out of him for texting his ex.

Post: #17

(01-11-2016 01:54 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  

(01-11-2016 12:05 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  Without giving too much away, there's a guy I'm friends with/semi-work with who keeps going after my scraps. He has a huge circle of friends, and twice within the last year I've met a girl he was friends with, then hooked up with her and dated her for a bit. Then when things went cold he'd decide it was okay for him to try and pursue them, always with long-term relationships in mind. Most recently he proudly declared to a group of people, myself included, that he was essentially in love with a girl he had known for years that I happened to have recently been in a fling with. I've told him I'm not comfortable with it because I don't want to hear about or see this girl in order to get over her and move on, and it just reeks of boundary-crossing and thirst on his part. But he's still intent on going out with her and talks to her all the time.

In my opinion, if a guy hooks up with a girl or dates her then she's damaged goods. She may be hot as shit, but this goes against the abundance mentality that guys should have when it comes to women.

What do you guys have to say about situations like this?

There's a lot of minutiae at play in smaller social circle dynamics so it's tough to generalize. That said if I go to the extent of discussing an issue with a guy/friend (which I don't do lightly) asking him not to talk about it in front of me and he ignores it... then that's a sign of disrespect. Personally I'd have to drop a version of "Yeah I'm happy for you,..so how do you like the taste of my dick when you kiss her? You've done it a couple times now so you must"

In all honesty I'm probably just overreacting. He says he talks to her all the time, but he's waiting for the "right time" to make a move. Could be now, could be months down the line. But from what he said she's been talking/bitching about me to him, so I think he's just an orbiter that's being lead on and thinks there's something there.

I had a situation like this in college where my roommate decided to go after a girl I had hooked up with and got insane oneitis for her. The creepiest part was when he asked me what I did to get with her. And much drama ensued, so I'm sure you can see why I want to avoid this issue as much as possible.

Post: #18

(01-11-2016 02:22 PM)Lex S. Wrote:  In all honesty I'm probably just overreacting. He says he talks to her all the time, but he's waiting for the "right time" to make a move. Could be now, could be months down the line. But from what he said she's been talking/bitching about me to him, so I think he's just an orbiter that's being lead on and thinks there's something there.

I had a situation like this in college where my roommate decided to go after a girl I had hooked up with and got insane oneitis for her. The creepiest part was when he asked me what I did to get with her. And much drama ensued, so I'm sure you can see why I want to avoid this issue as much as possible.

Sounds like the orbiter role and he's being used as a punching bag about you.

I'm assuming you have a do not contact rule with the girl in question ?

I'd stop talking about her in general to him, doesn't sound like she was that serious of a relationship or a fling then.

Either way, you know what kind of man you're dealing with, you obviously know that ex girl of yours has the potential to be a homie hopper, if she isn't already.

Post: #19

Quote:In my opinion, if a guy hooks up with a girl or dates her then she's damaged goods

Sometimes I wonder how the manosphere got to this point.

I hope you change this mentality because there are some good women out there who have taken a dick before.

Post: #20

I am calling it ahead at time that the tension and drama between you and your friend will grow.

You still have oneitis for this girl after calling her scraps and now your upset that your friend is trying to or is hitting it as well.

Hoes are going to be Hoes but will Bros be Bros when its time to show their true colors.

Bitches are scandalous and break up friendships between guys and girls all the time especially here in Los Angeles. I've seen it over and over again and it's unfortunate but that's what happens when you and your friend are not on the same page and the other gives into temptation. At least this girl is some hoe you use to fuck with and not your baby mama or wife.

I suggest you meet with your friend in person and talk to him man to man about the problem and try to come to a civilized resolution.

If he chooses the hoe over you then he is not your real friend and is really just someone you see on a regular basis.

Either you need to eliminate him from your life since you can't handle him seeing your leftovers, or you need to get used to it and accept if for what it is and just try to wish them the best and that your friend doesn't get her pregnant or wife her up.

Post: #21

(01-11-2016 02:28 PM)LINUX Wrote:  

Quote:In my opinion, if a guy hooks up with a girl or dates her then she's damaged goods

Sometimes I wonder how the manosphere got to this point.

I hope you change this mentality because there are some good women out there who have taken a dick before.

FUCK I completely missed that. It's supposed to say if a FRIEND hooks up with a girl. The forum won't let me go back and edit.

Post: #22

(01-11-2016 12:15 PM)The Beast1 Wrote:  If you want to be really devilish, tell your buddy about how you used to blast raw inside her when he starts to talk about her. That'll most likely shut him up.

On topic, this might be one of the cardinal by-laws in Bros Before Hoes. If he doesn't give a shit about it after you confronted him and still pursues her... next. He obviously doesn't respect his friends.

It's happened to me once. A (former) friend tried his luck with my first girlfriend right after we broke up. Like a pike waiting in the reeds, as I learned later that he fancied her all through the relationship. I wanted to put him through a wall when I saw him after that. He ended up never having a shot and tried to reconnect with me, like he'd done nothing wrong.

Post: #23

(01-11-2016 03:03 PM)DarianFrey Wrote:  He ended up never having a shot and tried to reconnect with me, like he'd done nothing wrong.

Bringing up the what I told earlier, my old best friend did fuck my ex when we were broken up. (18-20 years)

It's funny, i saw texts on my ex's phone, I immediately called him on my cell and called him out on it, he denied till he died, saying he could never do that and he's a brother to me.

The truth came out, I called my ex out on it in front of my friends, everything came out, drama ensued.

I ended up calling him out about fucking our friends sister, needless to say, a few bro's ended up not talking to each other again.

I saw him at the gym years later and said hi to him, walked right past me like I wasn't even there, guess he still holds a chip in his shoulder about nothing that even matters anymore.

Ends up locking down a single mother of 2, which cracked me up.

Post: #24

I would say drop this dude from your friend circle right away. Any time a guy talks to you face to face and acts like there is nothing going on while going behind your back to talk to your ex is a sleaze that shouldn't be trusted. Its disrespect from someone you think of as a friend.

On top of that your ex could be playing her own game of trying to make you jealous and hurt you. Your "friend" is an accessory to this little charade shes doing. If you can't trust the guy to not try and hook up with your ex then what can you possibly confide in him. Save yourself from future headaches, cut both these people out of your life, and move on to better girls and better friendships.

Post: #25

NEVER, repeat NEVER stir your mates custard.

Thats a binnable mate's offence.

This should go without saying.