Post: #401

This in not much about no contact, but it involves my ex-fiance and I want to know opinion of somebody else.

Me and my ex broke up this March. It was because she was suspicious on me for acting longer time weird. So she looked to my phone and the rest you can gues..
Few months before, it was Autumn, she got into financial problems. I must say, she never sucked my money, willingly was paying 50/50 and sometimes invested even more. But she got a new job and didn´t earn normal money for months. She had a stable income at insurance company and changed to company, where were different terms and she couldn´t get into it. So she told me, and we started to immediately think, what to do. She could go back to previous company, but her boss offered her some "change" and she decided to try it for some months more and she accepted, because she has this attitude and would feel like giving up. When she finally changed the job, she got girls problems and had to go to surgery.
During these few months, she humiliatedly asked me for money she needed to survive. But at this phase, I was preparing to leave my military job job and was stacking up money for survival. I decided to do so in September and had 5 months to build some base money. I was living almost like a monk. I was sleeping in sleeping bag on the old folding armchair in my office, minimalizing spent money and eating only food on discount. I´ve stacked nice money, but big part went to support her.
It´s important to say, that since beginning she always talked about taking a loan from me, precisely tracked every unit of the money. I was always telling her, that I don´t want the money back, I said "once you don´t have, next time it can be me". And the most importantly, I counted on her as a future mother of my children and wife and I didn´t have need to take money from her.
Even after breakup, she started to talk about giving me my money back. Honestly, I was thinking, that break-up would be just temporary thing.

Now it will be 9 month since breakup. We have been meeting each other, but now it had faded, from her side. When we met, she always acted like perfectly she lives, but as I know her and there were still some emotions between us, she always confessed, that she still struggles with money.

I got proper job since June and until June I spend significant amount of saved money to survive. Now I have stable income, not really bad, but I have struggle to save something. In comparison to what I saved before, it´s nothing and in case of losing or changing job, I would barely survive.

And I started to think about asking for my money. I like her, she have always been good partner and it was me, who caused the end (I had really issues back then and beside compensating my broken ego with other girls, I also wrote bad things about her to my former best friend). And I wouldn´t want to cause her another problems by demanding money from her........ but in case she have new fucker, let him to take care about her.

Post: #402

How do you guys act on holidays time? I am sure coming Christmas I will get my ex gf bs "Merry christmas" message, which will probably leads to further conversation about how I am doing etc.

She does not even know what part of the world I am in right now and would like to keep it that way as she still has a big emotional effect on me, should I just ignore any message I get or keep it polite and wish happy holidays back but not answering any following message?

Post: #403

@wellrockthecity block her number. It’s the most simple and effective way

Post: #404

Fuck fuck fuck.
I was in the mall. I had some free time so I decided to have a look on some coats. I found one really good but I decided to let it go through my head, because I don´t like wasting money. As I am going to buy something for breakfast, I met my ex-fiance with some guy. At the moment I realized it´s her with some guy, I almost passed out. Luckily there was a free bench, otherwise they would pick up me from the floor. That feeling was unbearable. When I catch some oxygen, the first thing, that came on my mind was fuck it let´s buy the coat. As I took it in the shop and went to the cashier, I met them there again. Fuck it really stings.

Post: #405

I’m struggling with no contact and thought best to post to you guys rather than send any more texts.

Long story short, before A couple of months ago I caught my ex who was living with me (dated for two years, I paid the rent due to some circumstances I won’t get into) in some lies where she said she was asleep when she was really out at a friends in the middle of the night when I was out of town. She then pulled some seriously disrespectful shit and I ended up throwing her out of my house and breaking up with her.

I’m talking literally bagging up and throwing her stuff out. She started partying like crazy after the breakup, and is now in with a group of people who are club promoters, club girls, etc. and is in the scene now, so to speak. She’s one of those super hot chicks who can kinda get into any club for free, etc. and she’s taking full advantage. I’m in a big US city with a major nightlife scene.

Anyway, I went no contact for a couple weeks. But I gave in and saw her when she texted me she was by my house. I told her wanted to get back with her. Huge mistake, I know. She then Went on about how I deeply hurt her by kicking her out, said I should’ve tried to talk things out with her aince we’d been together for two years, all this shit, trying to flip it around on me.

Anyway, It all culminated with me sending her a horribly mean text, saying all her club friends are trash, the people she hangs out with are toxic, she’s living a fucked up life since the breakup, I really went in. She obviously hates me after that and after yelling at me we haven’t spoken since.

I know this girl is all wrong for me. But I’m finding it so hard not to text her and apologize, say I want another chance, all the typical things my logical brain knows I shouldn’t do.

I’ve been reading this thread for weeks and not following the advice, so I thought maybe if I post and get some of you guys to yell at me that I would smarten up and get over it. I’ve been hooking up with some good looking girls since, but finding it tough not to go back and hit this one up. Thanks for reading guys.

Post: #406

made it to day 33 of no contact

still difficult, had to contact each other numerous times due to legal stuff and all that stuff. moved on to another chick or 2 yet sometimes she will pop in my head and i have to remind myself not to engage her again as it will be great being together then all her bs will come right back out like it did before.

Post: #407

I am on day 30 of no contact with a BPD girl-Stay strong fellas!!!!!

Post: #408

(02-05-2019 04:37 PM)Scooby6987 Wrote:  I’ve been reading this thread for weeks and not following the advice, so I thought maybe if I post and get some of you guys to yell at me that I would smarten up and get over it. I’ve been hooking up with some good looking girls since, but finding it tough not to go back and hit this one up. Thanks for reading guys.

How old are you?

You lived with this chick, and I'd wager the girl you're pining over is hotter than the girls you are hooking up with.

No surprise then, that the urge to text her back is so strong. Banging other sloots isn't going to erase the memory of a girl that you lived with. Only time will do that.

Look man, first things first. Give yourself a break for the shit you said to her. Undoubtedly it wasn't the mature thing to do, but you need to let yourself off the hook. You made a dumb decision in a moment of heightened emotion. We all do it.

That isn't an excuse to make a second - and even dumber - decision and reach out.

You want to punish yourself? Fine.

Run. Fast. Until you can't run anymore. Yell at the top of your lungs. Be unapologetically loud.

Your ex girl isn't going anywhere. Her looks are going to fade. Her "friends" are going to use her, and abuse her. You don't need to be a part of that.

You want another chance? You've got one. You've got the chance to make a great life without a very toxic woman bringing you down. Make the most of it. Don't text her back.

Good luck, not that you'll need it.

Post: #409

You’re right. I’m 27, have a 6 figure salary and live in a big city, I know I’ll be just fine and will bounce back, it’s just amazing what your emotional brain can do to your logical brain when you’re not careful.

At the end of the day, it’s her loss. Always gotta remember that I suppose. Thanks man.

Post: #410

(02-05-2019 04:37 PM)Scooby6987 Wrote:  I’m struggling with no contact and thought best to post to you guys rather than send any more texts.

Long story short, before A couple of months ago I caught my ex who was living with me (dated for two years, I paid the rent due to some circumstances I won’t get into) in some lies where she said she was asleep when she was really out at a friends in the middle of the night when I was out of town. She then pulled some seriously disrespectful shit and I ended up throwing her out of my house and breaking up with her.

I’m talking literally bagging up and throwing her stuff out. She started partying like crazy after the breakup, and is now in with a group of people who are club promoters, club girls, etc. and is in the scene now, so to speak. She’s one of those super hot chicks who can kinda get into any club for free, etc. and she’s taking full advantage. I’m in a big US city with a major nightlife scene.

Anyway, I went no contact for a couple weeks. But I gave in and saw her when she texted me she was by my house. I told her wanted to get back with her. Huge mistake, I know. She then Went on about how I deeply hurt her by kicking her out, said I should’ve tried to talk things out with her aince we’d been together for two years, all this shit, trying to flip it around on me.

Anyway, It all culminated with me sending her a horribly mean text, saying all her club friends are trash, the people she hangs out with are toxic, she’s living a fucked up life since the breakup, I really went in. She obviously hates me after that and after yelling at me we haven’t spoken since.

I know this girl is all wrong for me. But I’m finding it so hard not to text her and apologize, say I want another chance, all the typical things my logical brain knows I shouldn’t do.

I’ve been reading this thread for weeks and not following the advice, so I thought maybe if I post and get some of you guys to yell at me that I would smarten up and get over it. I’ve been hooking up with some good looking girls since, but finding it tough not to go back and hit this one up. Thanks for reading guys.

SMARTEN UP AND GET OVER IT!!!
(hey you asked for us to yell)

Seriously, it'll take a few months to get your head back on straight. After my hot but toxic ex and I split up, I felt kinda dazed and weird. No contact was no problem, I'm just talking about my own feelings. It took about 3-4 months before I felt my testosterone return, and then I was finally ready to look for other women to fuck.

As far as no contact goes... maybe you're looking at this girl as your equal. She's not. She's a club chick, you're a professional, so she's beneath you. Internalize that attitude of superiority, begin to view her and other women from that point of view, and you'll see that their little games, and your youthful angry responses, are pointless.

I was seeing a very young girl for most of last year. She had nothing to offer except her beautiful face and her awesome ass. She started to give me some shit one day, first time ever. I turned to her and simply said, "I'm smarter than you, I'm taller than you, I'm stronger than you, I'm faster than you, I'm funnier than you, I'm wealthier than you, I'm older than you, I'm more talented than you. Don't ever forget that." I held her eyes so she knew it. Dickish thing to say? Maybe. But that's the harsh truth. Her little tantrum ended immediately.

Also, if you're only 27, it helps to get a little older. (I'm 43.) You're at the age when it's natural to start hardening yourself, all thanks to lessons like this one.

Post: #411

The “I’m smarter than you, funnier than you, etc. “ was some Patrice O’Neal shit” hahaha thanks man

Post: #412

(02-05-2019 04:37 PM)Scooby6987 Wrote:  I’m struggling with no contact and thought best to post to you guys rather than send any more texts.

Long story short, before A couple of months ago I caught my ex who was living with me (dated for two years, I paid the rent due to some circumstances I won’t get into) in some lies where she said she was asleep when she was really out at a friends in the middle of the night when I was out of town. She then pulled some seriously disrespectful shit and I ended up throwing her out of my house and breaking up with her.

I’m talking literally bagging up and throwing her stuff out. She started partying like crazy after the breakup, and is now in with a group of people who are club promoters, club girls, etc. and is in the scene now, so to speak. She’s one of those super hot chicks who can kinda get into any club for free, etc. and she’s taking full advantage. I’m in a big US city with a major nightlife scene.

Anyway, I went no contact for a couple weeks. But I gave in and saw her when she texted me she was by my house. I told her wanted to get back with her. Huge mistake, I know. She then Went on about how I deeply hurt her by kicking her out, said I should’ve tried to talk things out with her aince we’d been together for two years, all this shit, trying to flip it around on me.

Anyway, It all culminated with me sending her a horribly mean text, saying all her club friends are trash, the people she hangs out with are toxic, she’s living a fucked up life since the breakup, I really went in. She obviously hates me after that and after yelling at me we haven’t spoken since.

I know this girl is all wrong for me. But I’m finding it so hard not to text her and apologize, say I want another chance, all the typical things my logical brain knows I shouldn’t do.

I’ve been reading this thread for weeks and not following the advice, so I thought maybe if I post and get some of you guys to yell at me that I would smarten up and get over it. I’ve been hooking up with some good looking girls since, but finding it tough not to go back and hit this one up. Thanks for reading guys.

It's not easy, but you'll learn that no contact is generally the best course of action. If not with this one, then hopefully a future one...

Bagging up her shit and dropping it off in the immediate aftermath of a breakup is a powerful move. It reinforces to her and yourself that you're a man of action, that you're strong enough to let her go and that you're willing to get on with your life.

Sending barbs or having a fight with a girl after a break up is a rookie move. She's not part of your life anymore, she's not in your world, and you shouldn't be giving her meaningful attention. Withholding your attention reinforces your own self-respect. It also indicates to her that she's beneath you by sub-communicating that she's a nonentity and that her antics have no effect.

Also, I'm willing to bet that you've likely read part of the situation wrong: She doesn't hate you for texting her some mean shit... She loves the drama. She gets extra attention, an emotional high, and fodder for gossip with her friends. No contact has the additional benefit of depriving her of this and in getting her out of your head by not letting her further stir your emotions.

It's going to hurt detaching from this girl if you really adored her at one point.

No way around it, especially if she's hot and you know that she's out and about 'having fun' and probably getting railed by other guys. Keep in mind that all of these girls have options and a huge rolodex of suitors, even the busted ones! It's painful to think about, and more so when you don't have ready replacement, but that's just how it is.

Regardless of what she does, you now have an opportunity to forge yourself into something stronger. You do that by taking the right action in the face of emotional turmoil. DON'T CONTACT HER, DON'T ASK HER FOR ANOTHER CHANCE, DON'T GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE.

If you're able to go through with it, your future self will be proud of your present self, and you will justifiably see yourself as a stronger man.

Good luck, hang in there.

Post: #413

(02-05-2019 07:15 PM)Scooby6987 Wrote:  The “I’m smarter than you, funnier than you, etc. “ was some Patrice O’Neal shit” hahaha thanks man

Was it? I didn't know that. I made it up on my own.
I need to dive into his stuff. Everyone says Patrice was really sharp.

Post: #414

You guys are the best. The messed up thing is I know all of this. I just wish I went no contact immediately and held onto all my self respect. But it is what it is.

Post: #415

YouTube “you’re better than her” Patrice O’Neal.

Post: #416

One thing I’ve also realized is social media can totally set you back when you’re trying to get over a chick. It just has to be a rule that you never look at their Instagram or Facebook or whatever ever again, at least not for a really long while.

Out of sight, out of mind, ignorance is bliss, etc.... cliche but true as can be.

Post: #417

(02-05-2019 07:43 PM)arafat scarf Wrote:  If you're able to go through with it, your future self will be proud of your present self, and you will justifiably see yourself as a stronger man.

Very wise quote.

Post: #418

(02-05-2019 04:37 PM)Scooby6987 Wrote:  I’m struggling with no contact and thought best to post to you guys rather than send any more texts.

Long story short, before A couple of months ago I caught my ex who was living with me (dated for two years, I paid the rent due to some circumstances I won’t get into) in some lies where she said she was asleep when she was really out at a friends in the middle of the night when I was out of town. She then pulled some seriously disrespectful shit and I ended up throwing her out of my house and breaking up with her.

I’m talking literally bagging up and throwing her stuff out. She started partying like crazy after the breakup, and is now in with a group of people who are club promoters, club girls, etc. and is in the scene now, so to speak. She’s one of those super hot chicks who can kinda get into any club for free, etc. and she’s taking full advantage. I’m in a big US city with a major nightlife scene.

Anyway, I went no contact for a couple weeks. But I gave in and saw her when she texted me she was by my house. I told her wanted to get back with her. Huge mistake, I know. She then Went on about how I deeply hurt her by kicking her out, said I should’ve tried to talk things out with her aince we’d been together for two years, all this shit, trying to flip it around on me.

Anyway, It all culminated with me sending her a horribly mean text, saying all her club friends are trash, the people she hangs out with are toxic, she’s living a fucked up life since the breakup, I really went in. She obviously hates me after that and after yelling at me we haven’t spoken since.

I know this girl is all wrong for me. But I’m finding it so hard not to text her and apologize, say I want another chance, all the typical things my logical brain knows I shouldn’t do.

I’ve been reading this thread for weeks and not following the advice, so I thought maybe if I post and get some of you guys to yell at me that I would smarten up and get over it. I’ve been hooking up with some good looking girls since, but finding it tough not to go back and hit this one up. Thanks for reading guys.

Successfully have made it a week with no contact, no social media snooping. Will post here instead of sending a regretful text. I’ve realized you just have to let the past and everything that was done/said and get in that “move forward” Don Draper mindset. Onward and upward!

Post: #419

(02-07-2019 11:07 AM)Scooby6987 Wrote:  Anyway, I went no contact for a couple weeks. But I gave in and saw her when she texted me she was by my house. I told her wanted to get back with her. Huge mistake, I know. She then Went on about how I deeply hurt her by kicking her out, said I should’ve tried to talk things out with her aince we’d been together for two years, all this shit, trying to flip it around on me.

Anyway, It all culminated with me sending her a horribly mean text, saying all her club friends are trash, the people she hangs out with are toxic, she’s living a fucked up life since the breakup, I really went in. She obviously hates me after that and after yelling at me we haven’t spoken since.

Youre doing the right thing. You caught her in a lie...no telling what you didn't catch her lying about.

You should get yourself tested for STD's to be safe. Your emotional brain doesn't want to hear that right now but its a prudent move given this girl's proclivities for associating with scumbags and douchettes.

Most major cities have free clinics where you can get tested anonymously

Anytime you feel like getting back with her picture her sucking some dirtbag's dick while he laughs in your face.

Fuck that ho...only figuratively

Post: #420

(02-07-2019 11:23 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  [quote='Scooby6987' pid='1935493' dateline='1549555657']

Anyway, I went no contact for a couple weeks. But I gave in and saw her when she texted me she was by my house. I told her wanted to get back with her. Huge mistake, I know. She then Went on about how I deeply hurt her by kicking her out, said I should’ve tried to talk things out with her aince we’d been together for two years, all this shit, trying to flip it around on me.

Anyway, It all culminated with me sending her a horribly mean text, saying all her club friends are trash, the people she hangs out with are toxic, she’s living a fucked up life since the breakup, I really went in. She obviously hates me after that and after yelling at me we haven’t spoken

Youre doing the right thing. You caught her in a lie...no telling what you didn't catch her lying about.

You should get yourself tested for STD's to be safe. Your emotional brain doesn't want to hear that right now but its a prudent move given this girl's proclivities for associating with scumbags and douchettes.

Most major cities have free clinics where you can get tested anonymously

Anytime you feel like getting back with her picture her sucking some dirtbag's dick while he laughs in your face.

Fuck that ho...only figuratively

Tough image!!! But yeah I’m taking it harder than I’d care to admit. But mostly I just miss the feeling of having a beautiful girl on my arm. It is what it is. This thread is probably saving me a lot of embarrassment. That’s for sure.

Post: #421

(02-07-2019 09:02 PM)Scooby6987 Wrote:  Tough image!!! But yeah I’m taking it harder than I’d care to admit. But mostly I just miss the feeling of having a beautiful girl on my arm. It is what it is. This thread is probably saving me a lot of embarrassment. That’s for sure.

There are literally 500 million other fuckable women in this world.
That's not an exaggeration. Think about that. There are 500 million attractive vaginas on earth.
Hop on the next bus. It'll be along in a minute.

Post: #422

(02-05-2019 04:37 PM)Scooby6987 Wrote:  I’ve been reading this thread for weeks and not following the advice, so I thought maybe if I post and get some of you guys to yell at me that I would smarten up and get over it. I’ve been hooking up with some good looking girls since, but finding it tough not to go back and hit this one up. Thanks for reading guys.

You fucking idiot. She is getting cream pied every morning and the only time she texted you was because she was alone after being pumped and dumped for the umpteenth time, and still high on drugs and emotional... and you're an emotional tampon.

Your loss for not banging her and choosing to get into dumb conversations about the dead relationship. You're soft. You fucking pussy. Shit or get off the pot. Either bang her or block her once and for all!

The relationship itself is dead, it's over and it won't be the same even if you tried.


Did that help?

Post: #423

(02-08-2019 03:25 AM)JackinMelbourne Wrote:  

(02-05-2019 04:37 PM)Scooby6987 Wrote:  I’ve been reading this thread for weeks and not following the advice, so I thought maybe if I post and get some of you guys to yell at me that I would smarten up and get over it. I’ve been hooking up with some good looking girls since, but finding it tough not to go back and hit this one up. Thanks for reading guys.

You fucking idiot. She is getting cream pied every morning and the only time she texted you was because she was alone after being pumped and dumped for the umpteenth time, and still high on drugs and emotional... and you're an emotional tampon.

Your loss for not banging her and choosing to get into dumb conversations about the dead relationship. You're soft. You fucking pussy. Shit or get off the pot. Either bang her or block her once and for all!

The relationship itself is dead, it's over and it won't be the same even if you tried.


Did that help?

In a fucked up way, yes. Yes it did!

Post: #424

Struggling and almost sent a text. Looked at my exes social media, saw her thotting it up and partying with her crew (see my previous posts above). I don’t know why it bothers me so much. She just looked so hot and I miss the bitch, even though she’s a dirty club slut.

Social media is a killer because you only see the good. I just have to get out of that scarcity mindset. Sorry if I sound like a bitch, but I’d rather post here than break no co tact.

Post: #425

My "stage 5 clinger" ex contacted me yet again Friday night. The pattern with these on again off agains is she attaches herself to the first guy who goes out with her and these guys, almost invariably, turn out to be mediocre or outright dysfunctional in the bedroom. So after a while she reaches out to me as if I'm her therapist to ask whether she should dump the guy, and of course, if she does dump him, then she knows she can enjoy a round of rebound sex before she ventures out again. And I'd be fine with that if she didn't always try to lock me down each time.

The difference is this time she wanted to cuck her fiance by cheating with me because he's mediocre in bed. She didn't come out and proposition me directly, but she was testing the waters in a way that made it clear that her conscience wouldn't have bothered her, so it was a pretty red-pill moment. Women have a laundry list of things they want to get from men and, push comes to shove, they have no problem taking a piece from one guy and a different piece from another. Sure, I could be opportunistic, but the fact is that unethical behavior like this turns me off. This was a woman I initially thought looked wholesome and pure. So these sorts of things are red pill moments.

Anyway, I encouraged her to teach him how to be a better lover, which was not the sort of response she was after. She basically wanted to get off on some sexting before going home (she's cohabitating with him). But I am not intentionally throwing fuel on that fire.

I'm 48 so I have to deal with older women, and I know quite a bit now about the mindset of women over 40. They are in sort of a perpetual state of panic about maximizing what they can still get out of their depreciating assets. They still want it all, but they can't have it, and that is what tears them up inside.

So it's kind of flattering that she keeps missing the sex with me, but I'm hoping she sticks it out with this guy, because odds are, he's the best she can get, and her leverage is going down like sands in the hourglass.