Post: #1

Some context: In general, whenever I go out to eat I tip very well. More than most people.
Fast forward to a month ago:

I love spanish food, been looking for a new spot close to home. I found a new spot within a few minutes drive from my house. I went in, ordered some items to go, paid with my amex and tipped big using cash. The bartender/waitress was a hot one, dominican with a heavy accent. She can barely speak english but its good enough to where she doesn't need a translator or anything. She was surprised at the tip but i told her it was hers. She gave a big smile.

A week later I go back, order some food to go, and as I'm waiting she makes small talk. She recommends some food items blah blah blah. She asks me when is she going to see me again, I say tomorrow.

Next day i go in, same routine, order food to go. She asks me when is she going to see me again I say give me your number and I'll see you Friday for breakfast. She writes down her number.

I call her and its the wrong number.

2 days later I go in, I'm like WTF, she says she must have gave me the wrong number. I order food, she writes down the right number, and we make plans again to go out. she told me to text her to make sure it goes through, and she gets my text, and she responds while she's standing next to me.

3 days later I text, we make plans. All in agreement.
On the day of the date I call her, no answer. I text, no answer. I text again, no answer.

2 days later I go to see whats up, she gives me an excuse about some girl called her cell and for some strange reason she thought it was my girl so she got scared and deleted my number, blah blah blah. I giver her my number and we make plans AGAIN. she gives me her address and she says come pick me up and we'll go out. I tell her, look, you need to make sure you're there 'cause i'll be picking you up on Sunday we can't have disconnect like before. She says ok dont worry just come pick me up.

On the day of i drive out to the address she gave me. i text her no answer. i call her no answer. i text her again, no answer. i honk my horn, no answer. I"m like WTF WTF W--T--F!!

It's been 2 weeks and I haven't gone back to get my usual spanish food, nor have I gone to see her and find out what the excuse is this time.

When did I lose control?
How can i salvage this, or is it even salvageable? I REALLY want to smash i mean she got a banging body. If it wasn't for that I wouldn't be here making this thread. I've been pretty stern with her and in control, but obviously i lost control somewhere. DAMNIT.

she is about mid 30's, a bit older, has a daughter.

Post: #2

-You're putting pussy on a pedestal.
-She flaked on you not once but THREE TIMES
-She's playing you for tips man, she's a BARTENDER/WAITRESS.
-You're a mark she wants keep coming and guess what, you want to go in again and get closure.
-You're rewarding her flaking by going in to see her again.
-Dude she's fucking mid 30's with a KID. You can do better.

You weren't stern with her or in control AT ALL. You don't want to hear this but you were feeding out of her palm because YOU WERE CHASING HER.

Don't ever talk to her again and don't ever go into that restaurant again or at least for a long while.

Bitches that flake don't ever deserve another phone call, ESPECIALLY after you drove to her pad and she didn't hit you back.

This is how tricks try turning John's out for money, gifts, etc, without giving up the pussy.

You lost control the minute you fatly tipped a hot girl. She knew she could coddle you for awhile and make you keep coming in.

My LTR is a bartender and sometimes waitress - she knows how to strike up a conversation and let the man do all the talking, letting him think he's flirting with her. Especially the older guys.

TL;DR Bartender/Waitress plays dude to keep coming and promising to meet him outside of work.

Post: #3

epic fail on my part

Post: #4

Post above me is good advice just a few additions:

Fool me once shame on you.
Fool me twice shame on me.
Three hasn't been documented before lol

You didn't do everything wrong but you're close...

For one you did great by tipping generously. Keep it up if financially viable. It sends the right signal to all relevant parties including yourself.

You kept going in after being disrespected by a fool.
Your limited time on earth is VERY valuable (for both sexes).
Internet meme but it's literally PRICELESS: once it's gone no money/wisdom can buy it back.

So don't let anyone steal it & certainly don't tip any fools with your most priceless item (time).

And here's the most important four letter combination that's gonna skyrocket your game once you stop "yeah, right!"ing it and actually internalize and start practising 365 days: NEXT.

Post: #5

This is like a shot for shot of the episode where butters "dates" one of the raisins girls.

As someone who spent an obscene amount of money chasing strippers in his very early 20s, beat yourself up till you remember not to fall for it again and move on.

Life experiences, brohan.

Edit: shut up, olive.

Post: #6

Yeah, I think you fell into her "Hot Service Industry Chick" game.

These are the rules:
You tip her graciously.
She offers nothing other than work place service.
As such, she can give you the run-around endlessly
(fake phone numbers, flaking, excuses etc)

You went after a chick who is likely saturated with offers at her work place
& you ended up an orbiter.

As for the tipping, I don't have any concerns about it.
If it serves you, go ahead.

But forget this chick, really write her off.
Next time you see her, don't be an ass, play it cool
Enjoy your meal.

Post: #7

Burn the restaurant down.

There's really no other logical solution.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #8

(12-10-2015 02:42 AM)kaotic Wrote:  ...
You lost control the minute you fatly tipped a hot girl.
...

+1000

Post: #9

Use your massive tips... to buy the restaurant then have her blow you to keep her job

Post: #10

Made a vital mistake writing no down. Always save in your phone and call her then and there. That way you save face in chasing money leeching lizards

Post: #11

What you did wrong:
Tip for take away. Are you getting service from the waitress? She was even surprised when you gave it.

Post: #12

You went wrong from the very beginning, interpreting the banter of service worker as interest in you. Then you went wrong believing she actually wrote her own number incorrectly by accident and them returning and forcing her to text you right in front of her. At that point she's embarrassed and doesn't want to say no, so she gives the real number, agrees to meet up, when she never wanted to in the first place.

If it was me, as soon as I found out the number didn't work, that would have been it. You don't go back to a girl and say 'wtf you gave me the wrong number'. If I saw her again, and only if she said something about me not calling her, then I'd say hey I would have but the number you gave me didn't work.

Post: #13

She deserves player of the month award

Post: #14

(12-10-2015 05:07 PM)GlobalMan Wrote:  You went wrong from the very beginning, interpreting the banter of service worker as interest in you. Then you went wrong believing she actually wrote her own number incorrectly by accident and them returning and forcing her to text you right in front of her. At that point she's embarrassed and doesn't want to say no, so she gives the real number, agrees to meet up, when she never wanted to in the first place.

If it was me, as soon as I found out the number didn't work, that would have been it. You don't go back to a girl and say 'wtf you gave me the wrong number'. If I saw her again, and only if she said something about me not calling her, then I'd say hey I would have but the number you gave me didn't work.

Sexual overperception bias big time. It's useful to pursue 'false positives' for some, usually short, period of time because you never know until you try to open the box, but after the box have been proved to be unlockable, time to find another shiny box.

Post: #15

Cat, ball of string?

On a slightly different note.
I always find it amusing how sexy & sultry a stripper can be when she thinks she can get a high paying private dance out of you.
Yet when you respond with - 'nah, not tonight.'

The sudden muted change in behaviour & body language from said stripper is priceless.

Post: #16

^ Yeah, I've seen that and it is a neat trick. If I remember correctly back to my strip club crashing days, though, the way to get through it is you've got to string her along long enough to like you before you let on that there's no way you're going to pay. And be A LOT more playful than "Nah, not tonight."

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #17

In your mind...."I'm the cool mack daddy big tipping smooth player gaming the lowly waitresses"

In her mind......"He's a nice guy who's another big tipping chump that thinks he's going to impress me and get into my pants buts its OK because I'm supporting a daughter but now it's getting creepy because he didn't take my fake number hint and now oh my god he's back and wants my fucking address how do I make this fucking stalker leave me alone?!!!"

If you want big tips to work for you then get to know and tip the bartender well at a local spot you frequent . Nothing like having the right bartender as your ally when it comes to gaming chicks in that venue

Post: #18

Invest your efforts in other girls and forget about her. Remember the Law of Abundance. There are more where she came from.

Post: #19

(12-11-2015 08:25 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  In your mind...."I'm the cool mack daddy big tipping smooth player gaming the lowly waitresses"

In her mind......"He's a nice guy who's another big tipping chump that thinks he's going to impress me and get into my pants buts its OK because I'm supporting a daughter but now it's getting creepy because he didn't take my fake number hint and now oh my god he's back and wants my fucking address how do I make this fucking stalker leave me alone?!!!"

If you want big tips to work for you then get to know and tip the bartender well at a local spot you frequent . Nothing like having the right bartender as your ally when it comes to gaming chicks in that venue

Believe it or not, getting a fake number isn't necessarily the kiss of death. This one time years ago, I gave a girl my number and she gave me a fake number. The number she gave me had the right digits which were in her phone number, they were just in the wrong order. The next day she called me and we immediately began a sexual relationship that lasted at least three months. I really don't know if she meant to give me a fake number or was just too stupid to get the sequence of her number right.

O.P., just find another Dominican or other Latin restaurant and rinse and repeat. This one's a lost cause. It was actually a lost cause weeks ago. Next time, give her your number too. I don't remember reading that you did that.