Post: #26

Yes, just do it.

I've had cases where the girl just treats the first date as your 'proving ground' where you 'demonstrate' yourself and build the rapport, and then on agreeing to the second date she's already made up her mind and it's basically a shoe-in. Especially any girl who strikes you as 'methodical' (of which in Japan there are many, for instance).

Regarding pulling from the brunch or whatever 'non evening' date you're doing, just ask the question. She either feels like spending time with you alone, or she doesn't. From my limited experience with early dates, there is no noticeable difference in results.

Given the way she initially responded to you, I would say this one is "warm" and you should take this initiative so you stay fresh in her mind, even if a bang is precluded by timing etc. She sounds very "on the market" and if the first meet is dragged out too far it might not happen.

Post: #27

^^ I'm torn on to do it or not. I'd say go with what seems congruent with your life.

Here's what I think. Don't do things you wouldn't normally do to get laid (to a certain extent). For instance:

1. I never do dinner to get laid. Why? I don't eat dinner out much unless it's me and some buddies grabbing beers and food after golf, or something like that. I don't make plans for dinner and go out with a person, unless it's an even with a group. So for me, planning a dinner with someone, even a day or two before, doesn't align with my day to day life.
That said, I had a 9 month fwb where our first night was sushi dinner on a Friday. But...I wasn't planning on it. We were just planning on drinks, but ended up ordering sushi. <--*THAT* aligns exactly with my life.

2. I grab drinks all the time. On rare occasions when I don't have anything going, I love going out on a Saturday afternoon for drinks if a chic is down with it.
Hell, a chic I just started seeing (banged last weekend for the first time) I had met up for drinks the previous Saturday afternoon for a drink. We'd previously made out a bit, and she'd told me how much she wanted me, but she didn't give it up for a few weeks.

Do you normally make plans to do brunch or lunch or linner or dinner or whatever? If it's seems reasonably normal for you, go ahead and do it. If you're living on the cheap and that's not congruent with your life, I'd say no.

This is all part of developing an identity with women. Once you're comfortable with your identity (you've gotten laid and it works for you), you won't have to ask these questions on the forum, because you'll be really sure of yourself.

Post: #28

Hey guys thanks for all the replies/support.

So I managed to shift the meet up to tomorrow at 5pm. Somethings tells me she is hesitant to meet up at night, because either she is A) seeing someone or B) hesitant to meet guys alone in an African country where she is a minority PHD American Chinese/Japanese grad student doing her thesis.

I do feel she is attracted in some way at least, as she was cool with my counters and apologized for being complicated? The dinner offer is quite rare for me actually, but the reason I did it was to come off a little softer judging her background & niceness & her possibly being scared off, as guys can get quite aggressive out here. If I was in DC/Toronto/Dubai I would have definitely gone for a drink approach.

I will let you guys know how it goes tomorrow. But to be totally honest she did indicate she has to get back to her place for a dinner meeting 6ish?

Its a bit confusing, & my getting laid expectations are neutral but i will give you guys the feedback.

(10-07-2015 11:36 AM)heavy Wrote:  ^^ I'm torn on to do it or not. I'd say go with what seems congruent with your life.

Here's what I think. Don't do things you wouldn't normally do to get laid (to a certain extent). For instance:

1. I never do dinner to get laid. Why? I don't eat dinner out much unless it's me and some buddies grabbing beers and food after golf, or something like that. I don't make plans for dinner and go out with a person, unless it's an even with a group. So for me, planning a dinner with someone, even a day or two before, doesn't align with my day to day life.
That said, I had a 9 month fwb where our first night was sushi dinner on a Friday. But...I wasn't planning on it. We were just planning on drinks, but ended up ordering sushi. <--*THAT* aligns exactly with my life.

2. I grab drinks all the time. On rare occasions when I don't have anything going, I love going out on a Saturday afternoon for drinks if a chic is down with it.
Hell, a chic I just started seeing (banged last weekend for the first time) I had met up for drinks the previous Saturday afternoon for a drink. We'd previously made out a bit, and she'd told me how much she wanted me, but she didn't give it up for a few weeks.

Do you normally make plans to do brunch or lunch or linner or dinner or whatever? If it's seems reasonably normal for you, go ahead and do it. If you're living on the cheap and that's not congruent with your life, I'd say no.

This is all part of developing an identity with women. Once you're comfortable with your identity (you've gotten laid and it works for you), you won't have to ask these questions on the forum, because you'll be really sure of yourself.

Post: #29

^ Oh so you're really Tanzanian? Awesome, the forum plot thickens.

Post: #30

haha yes with indian background as well. People usually tell me I either look like drake or jay sean or a mix of both

(10-07-2015 12:38 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  ^ Oh so you're really Tanzanian? Awesome, the forum plot thickens.

Post: #31

(10-07-2015 12:44 PM)everydayisanew1 Wrote:  haha yes with indian background as well. People usually tell me I either look like drake or jay sean or a mix of both

(10-07-2015 12:38 PM)Phoenix Wrote:  ^ Oh so you're really Tanzanian? Awesome, the forum plot thickens.

Crazy ! Glad to have a Tanzanian on board.

Out of curiosity what ethnicity is she ? Is she born there ? Where was she raised ?

If she isn't your standard western woman it might give us some insight and some others might give better advice.

One thing you don't want to do is "scare the cat" before. Just play it cool.

Post: #32

So I meet up with her, she texts me she has shown up early. Turns out she's Korean.

She greets me with a handshake? Very smart, cute, and nice freckles. I joke around with her about how Asian girls have crazy fast metabolisms.

Still not sure if she met me more on a professional level, or she's attracted to me. But I generally do well with Asian babes.

We chat for an hour & we both agree we need to run, I pay the coffee bill ($5) she tells me she will get me coffee next time we meet.

No sex, No Kino.

Thoughts guys?

Post: #33

So you guys chatted for a whole hour and during that time did you escalate at all? You said no kino but was there intense eye contsct. The fact that she greeted you with a handshake rather than a hug was a negative sign in my eyes. I would have found someway to turn that in a hug before we even sit down otherwise I'm wasting my time and will leave right there on the spot kf she refuses to give a simple hug as she is already setting the frame for the meet up. Did she hug you goodbye after the coffee meet up? Did the conversation turn sexul at any point? From the looks of it nothing happened and you would be wasting your time pursuing her. Let her chase you. Why put effort onto someone who is not putting effort into you.

If you don't know where you stand with someone then it's time to stop standing and start walking.

Go out and approach other girls and game accordingly while maintaining an abundance mentality.

Post: #34

Important: What did you two talk about ?

Also, answer the questions LA Savage asked and we'll reply with what to do next.

Just from an initial conclusion, sounds like a lost cause.

Post: #35

(10-08-2015 12:53 PM)everydayisanew1 Wrote:  

So I meet up with her, she texts me she has shown up early. Turns out she's Korean.

She greets me with a handshake? Very smart, cute, and nice freckles. I joke around with her about how Asian girls have crazy fast metabolisms.

Still not sure if she met me more on a professional level, or she's attracted to me. But I generally do well with Asian babes.

We chat for an hour & we both agree we need to run, I pay the coffee bill ($5) she tells me she will get me coffee next time we meet.

No sex, No Kino.

Thoughts guys?

Yeah not much detail here but I get the feeling you didnt get anywhere because you didn't lead it anywhere. Might that be the case? If she'

That said I take the "she tells me she will get me coffee next time we meet." as a possible positive. I'd run with that and see where it goes. If she's shy nervous that might be all the indication that's she's attracted top you you're going to get

No more coffee date though...I would invite her for drinks and a walk or something low key and near your place if possible. If it;s going well see if you can get her to your place

Post: #36

Greeting with handshake is not super unusual with Asians. They are not openly affectionate with strangers, and this is a customary Western greeting. Don't read anything into it. My gf tried that with me on the first date and I brushed it off and hugged her.

The thing you didn't do is lead. Lead lead lead. It's 100% on you. This is really really basic stuff conceptually, but not always easy to do. Doing well with Asian babes means what? You sleep with them? Anyway, this sounds like a lost cause, but if there's a second date, you better go for it.

Post: #37

ok so like you guys I thought it was a lost cause & already set up a date with a half sweedish half latina babe but funny enough I get a text this morning about how she wants me to have a wonderful time with my guests coming over (I had mentioned I had guests coming over in our convo).

I love how Korean girls are so polite and considerate