Post: #26

(10-19-2015 07:23 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

(10-18-2015 09:25 PM)Adrenaline Wrote:  Australia is hell for solo game. Girls will find you weird or creepy if you go out alone and get the idea that you have no friends. It's especially bad in any smaller city outside of Sydney and Melbourne. In saying this, I've done some damage in nightclubs on Saturday nights because most places are packed out, everyone is drunk and girls don't even really notice you're alone so I would avoid weeknights and focus on weekends for a start. It is a long road, and I wish I could say eventually you'll get there, but not everybody is cut out for cold approaching solo. I'm introverted at heart with slight anxiety so I know where you're coming from. When I drink I'm VERY successful. When I don't, I'm terrible. Drinking is only a temporary solution to a permanent problem, and I wouldn't recommend it to you, but at the moment it gets results and that's why I keep doing it. Without alcohol, I would probably have to find other ways to meet girls outside of night game and drunken cold approaching (Joining clubs, casual sports teams in mixed gender venues, social circle etc) and you sound like you might be the same.

One tip: You seem like you're going out on a sole mission to pull girls. This always leads to disaster because your mindset is wrong and women can sense desperation from a mile away. Go out to have fun. Talk to strangers (men and women), make contacts with bartenders/bouncers etc, dance to good music, make a fool of yourself and have the ability to laugh at it. Then at least at the end of the night, if you don't get anywhere, you can think to yourself that you had a fucking good time anyway.

Which city are you in?

Am currently in Launceston, Tasmania.

Going solo in a small city is definitely a steep learning curve. I think that a wingman would greatly help things, but here, no one is bothered about game when they have their social circle.

When you say you get drunk, are you just a little buzzed or visibly drunk?

Wow, there's a major problem right there. Tasmania is probably the worst place in Australia to game, especially solo, and that's saying something. Launceston only has 100,000 people and as you said, social circles are definitely tight. You need to get out and move to a bigger city if you're serious about game because eventually you're going to run out of options.

On a Saturday night, I've measured what I need to drink to get to the optimal level, which is about 10 shots of vodka with soda water or orange juice in pre-game then 4-6 drinks over the course of the night while I'm out. It gets me drunk enough that I don't give a fuck about approaching women and can tear up the d-floor solo while at the same time having no risk of passing out, getting myself in trouble etc. I never go home without at least a few numbers/kisses and more often then not, a little something extra

Post: #27

(10-19-2015 10:00 AM)HankMoody Wrote:  My two cents...

It's easier to start gaming with online dating. OkCupid worked well for me. Once you get a few bangs under your belt, approaches are way easier. Women aren't a mystery, they all respond to the same shit, and you're not worried about rejection.

My cold approaches didn't get good until I'd had some bangs. In the long run, cold approaches are way more efficient than online dating because you don't waste time with all the messaging bullshit. However, at first it's a great way to get some hands on experience with women face to face.

What do you think about Tinder?

Post: #28

(10-19-2015 08:21 PM)Adrenaline Wrote:  

(10-19-2015 07:23 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

(10-18-2015 09:25 PM)Adrenaline Wrote:  Australia is hell for solo game. Girls will find you weird or creepy if you go out alone and get the idea that you have no friends. It's especially bad in any smaller city outside of Sydney and Melbourne. In saying this, I've done some damage in nightclubs on Saturday nights because most places are packed out, everyone is drunk and girls don't even really notice you're alone so I would avoid weeknights and focus on weekends for a start. It is a long road, and I wish I could say eventually you'll get there, but not everybody is cut out for cold approaching solo. I'm introverted at heart with slight anxiety so I know where you're coming from. When I drink I'm VERY successful. When I don't, I'm terrible. Drinking is only a temporary solution to a permanent problem, and I wouldn't recommend it to you, but at the moment it gets results and that's why I keep doing it. Without alcohol, I would probably have to find other ways to meet girls outside of night game and drunken cold approaching (Joining clubs, casual sports teams in mixed gender venues, social circle etc) and you sound like you might be the same.

One tip: You seem like you're going out on a sole mission to pull girls. This always leads to disaster because your mindset is wrong and women can sense desperation from a mile away. Go out to have fun. Talk to strangers (men and women), make contacts with bartenders/bouncers etc, dance to good music, make a fool of yourself and have the ability to laugh at it. Then at least at the end of the night, if you don't get anywhere, you can think to yourself that you had a fucking good time anyway.

Which city are you in?

Am currently in Launceston, Tasmania.

Going solo in a small city is definitely a steep learning curve. I think that a wingman would greatly help things, but here, no one is bothered about game when they have their social circle.

When you say you get drunk, are you just a little buzzed or visibly drunk?

Wow, there's a major problem right there. Tasmania is probably the worst place in Australia to game, especially solo, and that's saying something. Launceston only has 100,000 people and as you said, social circles are definitely tight. You need to get out and move to a bigger city if you're serious about game because eventually you're going to run out of options.

On a Saturday night, I've measured what I need to drink to get to the optimal level, which is about 10 shots of vodka with soda water or orange juice in pre-game then 4-6 drinks over the course of the night while I'm out. It gets me drunk enough that I don't give a fuck about approaching women and can tear up the d-floor solo while at the same time having no risk of passing out, getting myself in trouble etc. I never go home without at least a few numbers/kisses and more often then not, a little something extra

Unfortunately, I am contracted here for a minimum of 2 yrs so it looks like the best strategy is to get into a social circle first. But still, I have to get over the approach anxiety as well for the sake of gaining confidence.

Like you mentioned before, drinking as a crutch to approach is never advisable in the long term. For me, I just have one or two beers before going out to get into the relaxed mood but not sure if that is really lessening the anxiety or making me more sleepy later into the night though

Post: #29

This weekend has also been barren in terms of game results. Went out solo on fri and sat nights. On both the days, I had coincidental meetings with some of my mates.

Went to an irish pub on fri. I made the very amateur mistake of not getting a drink at the start, chose to get a seat as there was a good band playing. Got a drink later during the break and shortly after bumped into a friend of mine. It was fortunate in a way because I then saw a real life approach in close up. We chatted for a while and later, he approached a couple of girls with that playful and fun vibe that the forum has been talking about. A 5.5 and 6.5. Kudos to him, he got them to buy him drinks. I was talking to a friend of his and now that I think about it, maybe I should have joined the conversation with the girls. Got the introduction later, danced for a while. Unfortunately, the 5.5 got interested in my friend rather than the 6.5, the spinning moves that he executed got her very hooked. The 6.5 then started having a serious conversation with my friend's friend who, to me seemed like the ultimate beta with he being the short dude with the beer belly, he talked about religion and politics to me before hand, refused to dance and resisted physical contact with the girls. Came out being the outlier, I probably cockblocked my self but unsure what I could have done better except, joining the conversation above. Left shortly.

Saturday was worse. Went to a club, immediately bumped into another mate who was there alone. Decided to build the social circle first as I will be here long term and so went around with him. He seemed more interested in drinking (and didnt even engage long with girls who recognized him) so that might have affected the motivation to approach further.

Two queries that you guys can help me answer. First, girls seem to congregate in the smoking corner a lot. But I dont smoke, so would it be strange being there and not smoking?

Second girls sometimes smile at me at venue. What would the best response be? Should I start approaching? So far, I have been smiling back, thinking they are just being polite because we just happen to be near each other.

Thanks!

Post: #30

(10-25-2015 12:55 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  This weekend has also been barren in terms of game results. Went out solo on fri and sat nights. On both the days, I had coincidental meetings with some of my mates.

Went to an irish pub on fri. I made the very amateur mistake of not getting a drink at the start, chose to get a seat as there was a good band playing. Got a drink later during the break and shortly after bumped into a friend of mine. It was fortunate in a way because I then saw a real life approach in close up. We chatted for a while and later, he approached a couple of girls with that playful and fun vibe that the forum has been talking about. A 5.5 and 6.5. Kudos to him, he got them to buy him drinks. I was talking to a friend of his and now that I think about it, maybe I should have joined the conversation with the girls. Got the introduction later, danced for a while. Unfortunately, the 5.5 got interested in my friend rather than the 6.5, the spinning moves that he executed got her very hooked. The 6.5 then started having a serious conversation with my friend's friend who, to me seemed like the ultimate beta with he being the short dude with the beer belly, he talked about religion and politics to me before hand, refused to dance and resisted physical contact with the girls. Came out being the outlier, I probably cockblocked my self but unsure what I could have done better except, joining the conversation above. Left shortly.

Saturday was worse. Went to a club, immediately bumped into another mate who was there alone. Decided to build the social circle first as I will be here long term and so went around with him. He seemed more interested in drinking (and didnt even engage long with girls who recognized him) so that might have affected the motivation to approach further. Met some other who kept complaining how girls were not receptive and unfriendly to them. It looks like uni girls will be more receptive if you bring along some female friends.

Two queries that you guys can help me answer. First, girls seem to congregate in the smoking corner a lot. But I dont smoke, so would it be strange being there and not smoking?

Second girls sometimes smile at me at venue. What would the best response be? Should I start approaching? So far, I have been smiling back, thinking they are just being polite because we just happen to be near each other.

Thanks!

I am finally starting to realize that game is not for all guys. A part of game has to do with personality which is difficult to change if one has grown up with that since childhood. Also, going solo in a small city does not help. I think I need to devise a step by step strategy to build the confidence if I am ever going to be decent in this.

Thanks for your suggestions!

Post: #31

(10-25-2015 12:55 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  This weekend has also been barren in terms of game results. Went out solo on fri and sat nights. On both the days, I had coincidental meetings with some of my mates.

Went to an irish pub on fri. I made the very amateur mistake of not getting a drink at the start, chose to get a seat as there was a good band playing. Got a drink later during the break and shortly after bumped into a friend of mine. It was fortunate in a way because I then saw a real life approach in close up. We chatted for a while and later, he approached a couple of girls with that playful and fun vibe that the forum has been talking about. A 5.5 and 6.5. Kudos to him, he got them to buy him drinks. I was talking to a friend of his and now that I think about it, maybe I should have joined the conversation with the girls. Got the introduction later, danced for a while. Unfortunately, the 5.5 got interested in my friend rather than the 6.5, the spinning moves that he executed got her very hooked. The 6.5 then started having a serious conversation with my friend's friend who, to me seemed like the ultimate beta with he being the short dude with the beer belly, he talked about religion and politics to me before hand, refused to dance and resisted physical contact with the girls. Came out being the outlier, I probably cockblocked my self but unsure what I could have done better except, joining the conversation above. Left shortly.

Saturday was worse. Went to a club, immediately bumped into another mate who was there alone. Decided to build the social circle first as I will be here long term and so went around with him. He seemed more interested in drinking (and didnt even engage long with girls who recognized him) so that might have affected the motivation to approach further.

Two queries that you guys can help me answer. First, girls seem to congregate in the smoking corner a lot. But I dont smoke, so would it be strange being there and not smoking?

Second girls sometimes smile at me at venue. What would the best response be? Should I start approaching? So far, I have been smiling back, thinking they are just being polite because we just happen to be near each other.

Thanks!

Hey guys, just to bump the thread up a bit.. What do you guys think of gaming at the smoking corner for non-smokers? Girls do seem to congregate in the smoking corner a lot. But I dont smoke, so would it be strange being there and not smoking?

Post: #32

If you were going to do that, carry a sweet zippo lighter with you to help girls light up their cigarettes. If they ask why you're not smoking, just say you're trying to quit but you still enjoy the smell of them.

Post: #33

Two scenarios for which some replies would be helpful:

1. Loud club - Its exasperating trying to get a girl's attention here. Is it better to minimize the speaking and bring her to the dance floor ASAP? What is the most impactful thing I can say here?

2. Rather quiet bar with no dance floor, just additional sofas and tables for seating - Girls are usually sitting in groups here intent in conversation. Say, I open a pair. How do I continue when our conversation is dying down(apart from getting the number)? Is this kind of venue even good for nightgame?

Thanks!

Post: #34

(11-08-2015 03:34 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  Two scenarios for which some replies would be helpful:

1. Loud club - Its exasperating trying to get a girl's attention here. Is it better to minimize the speaking and bring her to the dance floor ASAP? What is the most impactful thing I can say here?

2. Rather quiet bar with no dance floor, just additional sofas and tables for seating - Girls are usually sitting in groups here intent in conversation. Say, I open a pair. How do I continue when our conversation is dying down(apart from getting the number)? Is this kind of venue even good for nightgame?

Thanks!

Suggestions on the above, anyone?

Post: #35

I think my queries above are not clear so perhaps I should clarify them further. I think some thoughts on the sequence of events in the following scenario might guide newbies like me before it starts to flow naturally.

SCENARIO 1: In a club setting where it is too loud to talk for long, what is the sequence after the initial approach(ie. after the 'Hi, how is it going?' part)? Is it worth continuing with conversation or would it be better just leading her to a dance?

Say, we went for a dance. There are contrasting opinions on whether this should escalate to a kiss, or leave the kiss to a more private place. What is the experience you guys had with this?

Now, after the dance. is it better to change the venue or go for another drink in which case, would it now be fine to buy her a drink(without losing frame)? Keep in mind that buying a drink would mean talking and that is hard to do in a club.


SCENARIO 2: A beer garden kind of setting with soft music where girls tend to sit in small groups pre drinking and usually quieter than a pub scene with no dance floor. After opening a pair or group of three and ramblng about the usual stuff for maybe 15-20mins, is it wise to start escalating or would it be better to suggest a venue change to a club or a pub (where there are more distractions such as noise, people etc.)?

All suggestions including other approaches to the above mentioned settings are welcome!

Post: #36

Went for a night out after a long time. No results to show but realized two situations that I have to to know how to handle if I am to progress. I am still going out solo.

1. In a pub scenario, with a small dance area. Girl comes over to buy drinks at the bar for her friends. I am posted at the bar. The issue here is that she has to go back to her friends. Just saying 'Hey, how's it goin?' does not go far. She says 'Hi' and goes back to her friends with the drinks. How do I continue the conversation and what could be some possible follow up actions to sustain the interaction?

2. At the dance floor. I am moving to the music. Girl in front of me looks around and spots me. Then turns back and shortly after, it seems like she is moving back into me. Happened more than once so I don't think I am imagining things. In this case what should I do to start the interaction?

Thanks for the suggestions guys.

Post: #37

Are you in melbourne? I'm going out tonight, hit me up if you are...

Imo, just keep going out and approaching. Mass approach. At the moment you are thinking on a micro scale, "What does this girl think etc". Stop trying to analyze every small detail of what is happening and let the conversation flow. Always approach, don't look for signs, just do it.

Post: #38

(12-19-2015 10:20 PM)JayD Wrote:  Are you in melbourne? I'm going out tonight, hit me up if you are...

Imo, just keep going out and approaching. Mass approach. At the moment you are thinking on a micro scale, "What does this girl think etc". Stop trying to analyze every small detail of what is happening and let the conversation flow. Always approach, don't look for signs, just do it.

Unfortunately no, am based in Launceston.

Social circle is very strong here and I have been going out solo so I am thinking that a screw up with one member of the group is going to decrease my chances with a good number of girls at the venue. Many a times, I open at the bar with a 'Hey' or "Whats up?' and all I get is a smirk or a terse reply. Girls are just intent in getting the drinks and going back to their friends.

I do get eye balled sometimes at the dance floor and then the chick turns back and then it feels like she backs into me, not sure if this is just my imagination. Have you gotten such an experience? Looks like a green light to me to do something but grinding from the back might seem sleazy especially if I have not talked to her or have danced with her in a normal manner.

What do you think? But yes, approaching is the best way to improve at the expense of looking very conspicuous here.

Post: #39

(10-29-2015 01:13 PM)Remington Wrote:  If you were going to do that, carry a sweet zippo lighter with you to help girls light up their cigarettes. If they ask why you're not smoking, just say you're trying to quit but you still enjoy the smell of them.

Ha, I wonder where you got that idea? And where were you this past meetup?

Post: #40

(12-20-2015 01:14 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  What do you think? But yes, approaching is the best way to improve at the expense of looking very conspicuous here.

Wait a second. The social circles are very strong, yet you're worried about looking conspicuous when you've already admitted you look conspicuous?

You have nothing to lose, approach!

If the girl is looking at you and then turning around and in ANY way closing the gap to you on the dance floor, you need to go dance closer to her at a minimum. Act like you are interested in dancing with her, but you're not convinced she's worth dancing with completely. If you're physically imposing/muscled up then you can get away with being more aggressive, but I would DEFINITELY approach without worrying about how they're going to react. If they react negatively learn what works and what doesn't. If they react positively, great.

The thing you have to realize is that if you don't approach them it's actually WORSE than getting blown out, because you don't learn anything and you're a complete pussy on top of it. Why even go out solo if you're not going to take a risk. It's not like anyone knows you or is going to laugh at you (not that this should matter all that much anyway).

Post: #41

> Many a times, I open at the bar with a 'Hey' or "Whats up?' and all I get is a smirk or a terse reply.

So what were you expecting, a blowjob? If you don't have the looks you need to run your mouth and game her at least a minute before you can expect her to start properly contributing in the conversation.

Post: #42

(12-20-2015 09:27 AM)reino341 Wrote:  > Many a times, I open at the bar with a 'Hey' or "Whats up?' and all I get is a smirk or a terse reply.

So what were you expecting, a blowjob? If you don't have the looks you need to run your mouth and game her at least a minute before you can expect her to start properly contributing in the conversation.

I was of the opinion that what you say would be important and should be shortattention grabbing rather than just droning on for 2 mins esp in a loud scenario like a club.

Post: #43

(12-20-2015 06:57 AM)Gmac Wrote:  

(10-29-2015 01:13 PM)Remington Wrote:  If you were going to do that, carry a sweet zippo lighter with you to help girls light up their cigarettes. If they ask why you're not smoking, just say you're trying to quit but you still enjoy the smell of them.

Ha, I wonder where you got that idea? And where were you this past meetup?

Yea man, stolen straight from you haha. And I live a ways away from DC for the time being so getting to that area is not easy.

Post: #44

I am starting to realize that my conversations with girls need a lot of improving even though I have been lurking in the forum for months now. The problem is not the approach, at times, it's the girls who approach me but it's the convo sustaining part which is letting me down consistently. After chatting for a while, I can feel them starting to move away, then I rush to end it early before they end it..

So, I have been observing the following tips mostly taken from 'Bang' and RVF when talking to chicks. Please do correct me if any of this is not the way to go about this.

1. Agree and amplify their opinions

2. I don't offer them solutions to their problems, rather I give them a listening ear and nod as if I understand their problems/difficulties

3. I bring a lot of cheerful energy into the interaction and I slot in a joke or 2 but not too much

4. I look them in the eyes when I talk to them, but only try to maintain eye contact 70% of the time when they are talking to me// I am not sure if this is making me look artificial though

5. I initiate new threads of conversation. I am not sure if waiting for her to start a new conversation might be better after talking for about 5-10 minutes.

6. I never ask the name till the end.// And more often than not, they dont ask me mine. This is of course another sign that they are not interested.

7. Sometimes when they say 'Hi' when we meet again, I dont reply, I just smile/smirk.

8. I don't compliment them on their looks but on other things like their profession, their place of living etc.

9. I talk rather loud but not sure if this matters.


So, that is it for the list. I am not sure if the high energy talk, kind of decreases the emotional connection with her although people have suggested the clown/high energy game is the way to go when gaming girls.

Also, I have heard that putting the girl under the guy's judgement is another technique but I feel that sometimes runs against the 'agree and amplify' approach. What do you guys think?

Finally, how do we know if the girl had a good time conversing with us in the first instance and still into the guy, the next time we happen to see her?

Any other suggestion for improvement related to the conversation part of game would help. I have to get this straightened out before attempting anything else in game.

Thanks.

Post: #45

Hazaer; at least you're putting in the leg work. Re no 2; just don't go overboard and make the hamster work by asking: '...so how do you figure on sorting out your problems?'.

Personally I'm your average loner/introvert guy, and so my social 'calibration' is slightly off (due to spending time alone). I've found that talking to nearly everyone you encounter, i.e. checkout line, at events like car boot sales, etc, with no intention of gaming, has really helped me become more attuned to others.

Post: #46

I have a scenario that has happened too many times with me not doing anything about it.. What would you do and/or say if you just entered a bar solo, got a drink and are leaning by the counter and a chick dancing with her friends some distance away keeps checking you out?

Note that its pretty loud and difficult to talk unless you are practically shouting.

Thanks for all your suggestions.

Post: #47

(03-20-2016 07:13 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  I have a scenario that has happened too many times with me not doing anything about it.. What would you do and/or say if you just entered a bar solo, got a drink and are leaning by the counter and a chick dancing with her friends some distance away keeps checking you out?

Acknowledge her, wave or nod smiling. Then motion with your hand to her to come to you or stand up while holding eye contact and go up to dance with her.

Post: #48

You've been in this city for some time now. The social circle game sounds pretty tight but any luck breaking into at least one group so you can build a social circle for yourself? Going out with a group also helps boost confidence for newbies, it worked for me when I had to start from scratch moving to another city.

Post: #49

(03-20-2016 08:13 AM)XXL Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 07:13 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  I have a scenario that has happened too many times with me not doing anything about it.. What would you do and/or say if you just entered a bar solo, got a drink and are leaning by the counter and a chick dancing with her friends some distance away keeps checking you out?

Acknowledge her, wave or nod smiling. Then motion with your hand to her to come to you or stand up while holding eye contact and go up to dance with her.

Waving or smiling never worked for me somehow. They just pretend not to see and sometimes they give that creeped out look and often that seems to kill the attraction. But then, I have never followed it up with the approach partly because of that negative response.

Have you or anyone here had success with motioning her over? I would think that she would be very reluctant to move away from her friends especially if she is dancing with them.

Post: #50

(03-21-2016 07:48 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 08:13 AM)XXL Wrote:  

(03-20-2016 07:13 AM)Hazaer Wrote:  I have a scenario that has happened too many times with me not doing anything about it.. What would you do and/or say if you just entered a bar solo, got a drink and are leaning by the counter and a chick dancing with her friends some distance away keeps checking you out?

Acknowledge her, wave or nod smiling. Then motion with your hand to her to come to you or stand up while holding eye contact and go up to dance with her.

Waving or smiling never worked for me somehow. They just pretend not to see and sometimes they give that creeped out look and often that seems to kill the attraction. But then, I have never followed it up with the approach partly because of that negative response.

Have you or anyone here had success with motioning her over? I would think that she would be very reluctant to move away from her friends especially if she is dancing with them.

Also, when you say 'dance with her' do you go up to her, grab her hand and start spinning her around, or just dance beside her and introduce yourself and take it from there?