Post: #1

I'm currently in the middle of an interesting situation. I feel like I need some advice as I'm unsure how to proceed on my own at this stage.

There's a girl who currently has an LTR who, from the available evidence, is strongly interested in me. On two separate occasions now we've spent considerable time alone and gotten very intimate. No sex yet - she says she isn't the type for a casual fuck. Naturally, I don't believe her - but still, she does seem to a bit more conservative than most girls I've been with before. She's Polish but has only been in the UK around 2 years (I think), has no piercings or tattoos and her hair is natural. She's pleasant enough, deferential, refers to me as the "decision maker", etc. On our first meeting I basically hit on her directly (was actually unaware she was seeing anyone), and despite some initial protest she was later very happy to be all over me.

I haven't had a relationship for almost 3 years now, so this kindof scenario is throwing me off balance a little bit. Is this LTR material? I would assume not as she's going to ditch the guy she is currently living with soon, apparently. Stands to reason that it would only happen to me if we got together. I admit I do quite like her. She *seems* like decent GF material, but is it too good to be true?

I would naturally be deeply insulted if she's put me in the beta/boyfriend box and is currently sleeping around. Fuck no, you don't get to do that and then come try and play house with me when you're ready. But I have nothing to go on other than my suspicions, which could well be true.

How should I proceed? Obviously with caution, but I haven't experienced this kind of situation since I "took the pill", and I dare not relapse into my old ways and once again go through all the pain I wanted to learn how to avoid. Or have I already begun to do that?

Post: #2

Personally I never decide if it's a LTR up front, which it sounds to me like that's what youre trying to do. I think that's a mistake when I see people considering this. There are way too many unknowns. Plus it's almost always a sign that you care too much whether it works out or not.

For me it's always been :

Step1 go for the bang.

Step 2 go for the hang & bang again if I liked bang 1 and she wants me to bang again.

Step 3 go for hang & bang again if I liked bang 2 and she wants to go again...rinse and repeat.

That just seems like the natural progression to me

If that goes on for whatever length of time you call an LTR then it is a LTR. Lo and behold... you've got a girlfriend.

Trying to make a predetermination that expectations will match with a subsequent reality is always a dubious proposition at best.

Edit: Just reread

(08-18-2015 04:28 PM)UroboricForms Wrote:  How should I proceed? Obviously with caution, but I haven't experienced this kind of situation since I "took the pill", and I dare not relapse into my old ways and once again go through all the pain I wanted to learn how to avoid. Or have I already begun to do that?

It sounds like you have a bit...but at least you're taking stock which is a big step!

Re Edit: If you're ok banging a chick with a BF then I'd say just go for the bang first and forget about what happens after.

Again me personally, as soon as it looks like I'm going to be having sex with a chick regularly or moving forward I always always always say "Hey, just so you know...I don't sleep with girls who sleep with other men". Just a statement...no response needed

Post: #3

How intimate have you gotten with the girl? Make out? BJ?

Post: #4

Only makeouts so far. It's worth adding that logistics have prevented the bang so far.

Post: #5

I'd say proceed with extreme caution! Sounds like she is branch swinging and never forget if she can do it to him she can do it to you as well. Bang if you want but don't take her seriously, just enjoy the ride without having any expectations.

Post: #6

(08-18-2015 04:28 PM)UroboricForms Wrote:  There's a girl who currently has an LTR who, from the available evidence, is strongly interested in me. On two separate occasions now we've spent considerable time alone and gotten very intimate. No sex yet - she says she isn't the type for a casual fuck. Naturally, I don't believe her - but still, she does seem to a bit more conservative than most girls I've been with before. She's Polish but has only been in the UK around 2 years (I think), has no piercings or tattoos and her hair is natural. She's pleasant enough, deferential, refers to me as the "decision maker", etc. On our first meeting I basically hit on her directly (was actually unaware she was seeing anyone), and despite some initial protest she was later very happy to be all over me.

I haven't had a relationship for almost 3 years now, so this kindof scenario is throwing me off balance a little bit. Is this LTR material? I would assume not as she's going to ditch the guy she is currently living with soon, apparently. Stands to reason that it would only happen to me if we got together. I admit I do quite like her. She *seems* like decent GF material, but is it too good to be true?

Girl sounds like a relationship hopper (read: dick hopper)

Your lack of an LTR in 3 years seems to hint scarcity. Have you banged much since your last LTR ? Are there any other girls in your picture ?

You've only made out with this girl and already have LTR thoughts ?

RED FLAG !

Take that pussy off the pedestal !

You shouldn't be even thinking LTR until you fuck her a few times and feel her out.

Sounds like right now, she's using you as this:



Just remember this:

What she did to him, she'll eventually do to you.

Now this isn't always the case, if I were you, I'd proceed carefully.

Bang her a few times, keep her around as a harem girl, I'd bang other girls on the side while doing this. Let her make the moves as in, "where is this going" "what are we" "are we official" "do you love me" etc etc. You can then decide what you want to do.

You can't trust these hoes !

If it's to good to be true....it usually is.

Post: #7

I'd go for the bang, but don't wait too long to become her human pillow. Next time, invite her over, escalate, and rip her clothes off.

Post: #8

She's trouble....I agree with the above posts. Hit it and quit it or keep her around for side action on the fly.

Do not even think of an LTR with this one. She WILL do the same to you.

Post: #9

This chick is stamped: BANG ONLY

She'll be a terrific fuck too when she is getting all wet about cheating on her boyfriend and trading up.

Post: #10

There's been an ongoing trend of guys asking "is she LTR material???" when they havent even bang her....

That question comes up, ask yourself this "What did she do to deserve your commitment?"

If "cheating on her boyfriend" and "holding out from sex with you" are on the list, you have a problem...

Along with what others have said, a girl who cheat on her boyfriend is automatically pump and dump material.

As to your question of "what is going on here", she is getting bored with her LTR and either looking for adventure fuck or monkey branching.

Beating a dead horse, but treat this girl just like any slut you meet in a bar. Isolate, escalate and fuck. Her being in a LTR is her problem, not yours.

Post: #11

Thanks for the wake up call guys. Since I became game aware I have only really used it for ONS, so finding myself in this position I was unsure how to think. Of course I was already suspicious of her but I don't want to slip up, sometimes I find myself missing the prospect of an LTR since it has been 3 years, I think I could do better at them nowdays running "LTR game" but with a girl like this it doesn't seem worth getting involved on any deeper level.

(08-18-2015 05:34 PM)kaotic Wrote:  Your lack of an LTR in 3 years seems to hint scarcity. Have you banged much since your last LTR ? Are there any other girls in your picture ?

I've had a few flings, before I really became game aware (all fizzled out), and a couple more since then. One other in the picture at the moment. I was completely put off the idea of an LTR when the last one broke down, but I find myself thinking I'd be up for the challenge now, armed with the knowledge of game of which I was utterly clueless before.

Post: #12

If I was you, I'd go on a tear and hook up with a bunch of girls. For me, one out of every ten girls I sleep with have the potential to be a mini relationship. I'm in one right now with a sexy little 22 year old. But, I sleep with other girls on the side because I'm not committed to her. She knows I'm not committed because we have talked about it a couple times.

Go to town with whoever you meet up with, be it at a bar, or online.