Post: #1

i work at a nightclub as a bouncer all night girls come up to me n flirt. however when i see a girl i want to go for they view me as a player (or an big thug), since so many girls flirt. so my main question is what do i do to grab that special hot chick n not go home with a tip drill?

i need some help from other big guys-n when i mean big i mean muscular n grizzly bearish

Post: #2

I'm a pretty big guy and I've always noticed that there seems to be a bit of an intimidation factor for girls, Ive noticed the more funny and animated I am the more responsive they are. They look at you and make a knee jerk decision, you have to show them that you arent the big dangerous thug that they think you are.

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Post: #3

VK had a post recently that hit on this. If you know what "type" you're perceived as, you can do things that go against it to come across as unique or soften your image if need be. Maybe humility and politeness would be a good approach to take for a big, intimidating-looking bouncer.

Post: #4

I had this problem when I discovered the weight room. When I joined the Army I was 5 ft 10 and weighed 140. After Infantry Basic I was 6 ft 1 and 165. I gained 7 pounds a year for 4 years. At 22 I started hitting the weights hard and went up to 220. I was still pulling in the girls at this point, but when I got above 225 that changed. If you're not a professional athelete and you're above 225 with single digit body fat people think that you've just gotten out of the joint. Especially being dark skinned with a shaved head (thank God for Jordan being bald, otherwise I would've gotten NO traction). I had to chage from the "cocky" game to the funny/ articulate/ cool game.

You have to be less intimidating to the fairer sex. Ladies love teddy bears, but nobody wants a grizzly. You can look at me and know that "I ain't the one to fuk with", but I come across as laid back and approachable. Smaller guys can play aloof, but as a big boy you have to experiment with being playful, and not inspiring fear. I'm not saying be a chump, but you have to be mentally flexible to get inside the perimeter. I use the buddy zone to my advantage. I'm friendly to all without actually being friends with any. I did the door security at Latin clubs, and I never let my target audience see me lose my cool. If I had a bangin hood rat that was into me I would show some of the street side. If I had a educated professional I would show the well traveled articulate side. You have to cater the game to the target audience. The educated girls were easier to disarm because they thought I was a slacked jawed booger eater to begin with. It was when I would engage them in a discussion and take them on intellectually, and use humor is when I got the goods. Old Samurai saying, "a warrior that only knows one way is easily defeated" . You have to be able to modulate your style from hard to soft, and vice versa. Show more than just muscle.

Post: #5

While being big and intimidating can be a problem, you can compensate it with some vulnerability game, or just softening up a bit. Not to sound grumpy, but I'd rather have that problem than the one that can't be fixed, like for example being short.

Post: #6

Your mind matters too. Offer chicks a sample of your intelligence. Drop some knowledge on them hoes!

Post: #7

(05-11-2011 09:37 PM)gringochileno Wrote:  VK had a post recently that hit on this. If you know what "type" you're perceived as, you can do things that go against it to come across as unique or soften your image if need be. Maybe humility and politeness would be a good approach to take for a big, intimidating-looking bouncer.

When we roll out he's gotta counteract all that big guy intimidation with a small dose of nice guy. It all goes back to what image you're trying to project.