Post: #1

I was going to call it an approach thread, but wanted to give it a different name, different frame. I'm interacting with people, not just "approaching" women.

Yesterday, talked to another girl in the mailroom, used my line saying I just moved in and how she liked the apartment. She was there only a month, and then segued into where she's from (dallas). Went on a bit about the Houston vs Dallas rivarly. Then I let the conversation trail off because I wasn't interested in pursuing it further.

Today, at the airport waiting for boarding, I noticed a girl holding her electronic boarding pass on her smartphone. I had a paper pass.

"Excuse me, is that a boarding pass on your phone?" (Yes) "I'm curious, how do you do that?" She explained how she gets her passes on her phone, and then I say "that's pretty saavy. I still use paper, so I feel old fashioned". She laughs, I smile. Then we talk about where we're both headed. We live in different cities, so I let this one trail off as well.

Gotta run, will post more later.

Post: #2

Two more, during my layover!

Went to an airport cafe and ordered my lunch. There was a woman sitting 3 seats from me (at the bar), and when I got the sense that she was about to leave, I said "excuse me, is that a good piece of luggage?" Great opener. I tried to do my elderly ramble, but she was rambling more than I was that I could barely put in a word! I "complained" that mine doesn't roll smoothly and the wheels often get stuck, and she was talking about how hers roll really smooth. Then we started talking about baggage size limits imposed by the airlines - I bought my luggage a month before the airlines pulled a fast one on all of us by making the size limits smaller, I said "are you kidding me?!" and we both laughed. This was a Seinfield-esque conversation.

After she left, another chick, an even better looking one, sat next to me. I waited until I finished my salad, and noticed that she had two iphones. I opened with "I see you have two phones. One personal one for business?" She smiled and said "one personal one work". Then I rambled a bit about how my iphone 4s still works after 4 years, but have been wanting to upgrade to either a 6 or 6+, and she was lapping it up. The conversation took an unexpected turn when she asked if the iphone connects to my cochlear implant, and I said yes. Her mother also has a cochlear implant, and has been using it for a year. We talked about that for several minutes, and segued into where we are heading, and what she does for work (medical devices and technology). What I'm typing here doesn't do it justice at all, it was actually a very interesting conversation! Had she lived in the same city as I do, I would 100% for sure have gotten her number.

Haha, this shit is FUN! I don't understand why I've practically got my panties in a bunch about approaching girls!

Post: #3

Nice start, go for the number whenever possible

Post: #4

Did a few approaches at the grocery store. I think the grocery store environment is really tough because people are constantly moving around and I couldn't crack 2 minutes. One approach I bailed too early because I forgot my true intent, last one below.

1. Tried to use the "excuse me, this egg carton says vegetarian fed, do you know what that actually means?" but the girl didn't hear me saying "excuse me" and kept moving. Didn't want to chase her down from behind, so I moved on.

2. There was some older but still fuckable chick giving out wine samples. I went up and asked for a sample, spent a minute shooting the shit about wine. But she tried to sell me a bottle, and I was holding up a line behind me, so I said "no thanks I've gotta go shop around. but I may come back for another sample... again and again and again" with a wink She laughed. Although this went nowhere, I chalked this down to practice.

3. I was looking for a large pot to cook my signature chili recipe, but I couldn't find it in the store. So I went up to this young girl, college age I think, and said "excuse me, do you know which aisle I can find a large pot?" "a pot?" "Yeah, a large one, I have a recipe I want to try, but I can't find it here." She looked annoyed and started to look for it. Because of her annoyance, I said "no no nevermind, I can ask some store guy here, thanks anyway" and bailed. Kinda bitchy so I didn't want to continue with her.

4. I used the same line above on another girl, and she was much more receptive. I had already asked the store guy, and he directed me to the aisle, where I saw the girl. I said "I already asked some store guy where it was, and he told me I'd find it here." She pointed to a smallish pot, and I said "well it may not be big enough. I'm cooking this new recipe that I came up with myself..." (dropping bait hoping she'd bite) She smiled, but didn't bite fully. She said I could find it at a store one block away, and I said "yeah I'm gonna go there, thanks a million!" then I started walking away. 3 steps later, I realized that I bailed too early because I forgot my true intent. I turned back, but she was already walking the other way. Didn't want to go back and re-approach from behind because that would look lame and incongruent, so I laughed at myself. Learning experience!

Post: #5

Cleanslate. I know this is your interaction thread but would you mind if I gave you some advice that will save you a lot of time and put you in a much better position for getting numbers and lays?

Post: #6

(02-14-2015 08:06 PM)LINUX Wrote:  Cleanslate. I know this is your interaction thread but would you mind if I gave you some advice that will save you a lot of time and put you in a much better position for getting numbers and lays?

Of course by all means, advise away! that's what I'm here for

Post: #7

Quote:"Excuse me, is that a boarding pass on your phone?" (Yes) "I'm curious, how do you do that?"
"excuse me, is that a good piece of luggage?"
"excuse me, this egg carton says vegetarian fed, do you know what that actually means?"
"excuse me, do you know which aisle I can find a large pot?"

You're approaching these women asking for advice, directions, and questions that you can find out yourself." Nothing about these interactions scream. "I am confident." "I am masculine." "I am reliable." "I have other options." Never ask a woman for her help or her opinion on anything. Women are tired of weak, hippie, hipster, pussy-ass men. That's why they lay in bed at night and masturbate to fireman and assholes.

Do this for one day and I promise that you will never go back to the old method of opinion/advice opener crap. Find a woman that you like. Approach her and say, "Hey, I saw you over here, and I wanted to say hi, what's up with you?" If you do this, unless you're ugly as hell, you will get much more numbers and lays. Is she turns you down, you didn't do anything wrong, she just wasn't down to fuck or she wasn't available at the time or she wasn't interested in you and you saved yourself 20 minutes of your important time.

Post: #8

Good luck CleanSlate! As an introvert, even starting regular conversations was difficult for me in the beginning. But with more practice, your skills and anxiety will decrease by a lot

Post: #9

(02-14-2015 08:15 PM)LINUX Wrote:  Do this for one day and I promise that you will never go back to the old method of opinion/advice opener crap. Find a woman that you like. Approach her and say, "Hey, I saw you over here, and I wanted to say hi, what's up with you?" If you do this, unless you're ugly as hell, you will get much more numbers and lays. Is she turns you down, you didn't do anything wrong, she just wasn't down to fuck or she wasn't available at the time or she wasn't interested in you and you saved yourself 20 minutes of your important time.

Thanks for your input, much appreciated. I was actually following Day Bang with those openers, but I understand there are different schools of thought on game, especially on openers. I'll switch gears and use that direct opener and see if I get better results that way. If I do, great! I'll continue down that road.

Oh, does this also apply to night game as well?

Post: #10

Oh ok, I understand. I've never read any of Roosh's stuff so I'm not trying to say it's wrong. I guess I just go about it differently. There seems to be different methods that work for different people.

Post: #11

(02-14-2015 08:51 PM)LINUX Wrote:  Oh ok, I understand. I've never read any of Roosh's stuff so I'm not trying to say it's wrong. I guess I just go about it differently. There seems to be different methods that work for different people.

True, and I do hope being more direct works for me - we'll find out soon enough, won't we. It's more in line with my personality because I'm more about the straight-line-from-A-to-B no bullshit approach to life, in general.

Post: #12

(02-14-2015 08:51 PM)LINUX Wrote:  Oh ok, I understand. I've never read any of Roosh's stuff so I'm not trying to say it's wrong. I guess I just go about it differently. There seems to be different methods that work for different people.

I think it's cool you have your own style and it's great that it works for you.

Another forum member, Giovanni, is also more "direct" based his posts I've read.

All the same it wouldn't be bad idea to read "Day Bang"... to give you an idea of the method behind it.

To paraphrase, you're simply "warming up the caat" with the style Cleanslate is using.

Post: #13

Quote:What I'm typing here doesn't do it justice at all, it was actually a very interesting conversation! Had she lived in the same city as I do, I would 100% for sure have gotten her number.

Have you thought of not ditching the girl just because she doesn't live in the same city? It could be a good way to practice text and phone game and if you play your cards right she might eventually travel quite some distance to see you. If she does count on her being DTF. Of course a local girl is much easier but if you want practice..

One advantage of gaming girls far away is that should you have any problem that you act needy, that should be less prevalent as you know that you probably can't just see her tonight or tomorrow anyway.

Post: #14

(02-14-2015 09:27 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  Have you thought of not ditching the girl just because she doesn't live in the same city?

No I haven't thought of it... but sure, I can go for #s next time. I travel a lot for work, 1 week a month on average.

Post: #15

Any and all the rejections I have had the past two weeks does not compare to the bitter taste of regret for not approaching this girl who was giving IOIs at a wine bar tonight. I talked myself out of it (too tired, not pretty enough, other dumb excuses, etc). At one point, her eyes were saying "hey I'm here, when are you gonna come and talk to me?" And I didn't. Ugh, dammit! The taste of a dozen rejections is sweet compared to the taste of regret. Next time I hesitate for one second, I'll remember this, and get myself going!

Post: #16

Rambling like that is fine if you actually feel like chit chatting. Like you said talking with girls IS fun.

If you are interested in those girls however and you just "use" rambling to game then you have to convey your interest in a way that she girl will understand your intentions. It doesn't have to be blatant compliment. Basically what I'm saying is that real game starts once show intent. Before that moment it's only a random conversation going nowhere or leading to a pity phone number at best.

It's exactly like with working out. Real work out starts when your muscles start to burn. That's when progress starts and you grow. All the work before that moment is just a warm up. Same with game.

But since it's INTERACTION thread then it's fine. Probably lots of helpful conversational wisdom will be shared here.

Post: #17

@Cleanslate good on you for starting this thread. It means that you want to improve.

Few things.

-I think indirect approaches are good in the beginning but you HAVE to transition into a number or instant date. Not alw ays easy because you are gauging her interest level as a newbie and given your experience it may not be accurate and you may eject or ask for the number too early.
-Direct approaches are great because your intention is out there. However, it's tough to recommend if you're in the minority (looks like a guy the girl is not used to or the town is not used to) and/or just not particularly good looking.
-I sometimes go with a hybrid and ask for an opinion or directions to "soften" the cat (as Roosh will say in Day bang) and then I throw in a more direct compliment eventually (but quickly transitioning into) "I couldn't let you go without saying hi" (aka intention). Sometimes I do this in the exact reverse which can also work.

All I'm saying is that if you are comfortable and are having fun with the conversation, it's cool but transition into direct soon enough or even just go for the number. But try to always go for the number regardless if you're interested. It may seem awkward with most of them but it has to be done or you won't have any chance of seeing the girl again. I've ejected too but recently it's only been when I'm truly not interested.

Post: #18

Good post, Cobra. I was thinking along the lines of going hybrid... either start out direct, then soften up by rambling about stuff... or if I can think of a good situational opener, I'll use that and then go direct soon afterward.

I have no problem opening, that's the easy part. I can do it to anyone. I've already used Linux's direct opener today even. It's what comes after that I struggle with. It's the pushing the interaction as far as it will go and getting the # that I'm struggling with now. I eject too early because I feel awkward, not because I'm not interested in the girl.

Post: #19

There is also something called subtext which is important to understand.

Actors use this all the time.

Your words might be "indirect" but your intent is very clear vis a vis body language.

Post: #20

(02-14-2015 07:29 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  Did a few approaches at the grocery store.

Grocery store openers are easy!

Just comment on the item she is looking at.

A few examples:

(07-11-2011 02:02 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  Grocery Store: You see a cute girl looking at a food item. You immediately go over and grab the same item. You look at her and say...

"Aren't these good"
"These are soooo good"
"How do you prepare yours?"
"How do you make this?
"You eat this stuff?"
"How do you eat this and stay so skinny?"
"These are great with salami"
"I love these with mozzarella"
"Its better with milk instead of water"
"How do you eat this stuff and stay in shape"

Remember, you can always talk to her casually, walk away, then.. Re-approach her.

*****

Here is a post about "showing intention" vs "direct" vs "indirect":

(03-08-2013 10:57 PM)Irishman Wrote:  How much intent do you show the first time you meet?

(03-11-2013 02:03 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  It depends. Sometimes, I go direct. Other times, I go indirect. It just depends on my vibe, the situation, and the girl.

If we are sitting together on public transportation, I know I will have 10-20 minutes to chat, so, I will not be in a hurry, I will just go indirect and try to have a lively, entertaining, engaging, funny chat with her.

After 10 or so minutes of that, I might say..

"hey, wanna exchange numbers sometime, we should get coffee or a beer or something"

Thats indirect. Not much intent shown at the start. I chatted first, them showed intention at the end.

Here is another example:

I am walking through the mall. I see a cute girl walking into a store that I am walking out of..

"excuse me miss, can I ask you something, i know this is totally random but I noticed you walking out and i wanted to come say hi and flirt with you for a minute, my name is gio, whats yours?"

Thats direct and I showed my intention from the beginning.

It really depends on the circumstances and the situation.

If I am dressed up and feeling sexy and I see a girl who is dressed up and looking sexy, I might just walk right up and say..

"hello, you look nice today"

Direct and intention shown. I don't have to play games. She looks good, I look good. I can get right to the point.

If I was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and shopping at the grocery store I might not be so direct. If I see a girl at the grocery store, I might just say..

"hey, are these tomotoes good, im making salsa but i don't know which ones to use"

Thats indirect with no intention shown. I will try to get a chat going and build a connection using humor and things that we have in common.

I can also go direct in the grocery store..

"oh my god, you eat that stuff, how do you keep your body in such great shape if you eat that?"

Direct and intention shown .

I can also use mixed or "hybrid" method, which is indirect language but direct body language..

For example, "Damn, its so hot today"

As I say "Damn", I'm looking at her waist. Then I slowly move my eyes up her body and slowly say -- "its so hot today", then look her in the eyes without any fear or embarrassment and say --"I need to get some ice cream". I want her to feel the sexual charge I have for her.

Tonality is very important with this type of approach. The way you talk and your body/eye language is almost more important then what you say.

Direct and indirect are not our only options, there are other variations and mixtures of both. For example, your opener can be..indirect..

"Excuse me, how do I get downtown from here" -- But then your next sentence can be direct -- "Actually, I don't mind being lost, who are you little lady?

There is also the Krauser type approach which I really like..

/thread-14130-...#pid267823

Sometimes, I just tell them they have a nice ass..

/thread-4382-p...#pid259511

Every situation is different. Sometimes I show intention right away, sometimes I don't. There is a time for everything. Experiment with all styles to find the methods that YOU ARE MOST COMFORTABLE WITH.

When you see a girl you like -- Don't hesitate. Go talk to her in whatever style you can!

(03-08-2013 10:57 PM)Irishman Wrote:  Are you going direct, more of a friendly vibe or do you switch it up.

I switch it up. I think I already answered this ablove ^^

(03-08-2013 10:57 PM)Irishman Wrote:  Could you break down one or two of your successes.

Sure.

Here are a few of my favorites..

/thread-14257-...#pid316026

/thread-14130-...#pid391063

/thread-1623-p...l#pid13274

100% Day Game.

^^The full thread is HERE.

Post: #21

(02-15-2015 01:00 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  Any and all the rejections I have had the past two weeks does not compare to the bitter taste of regret for not approaching this girl who was giving IOIs at a wine bar tonight. I talked myself out of it (too tired, not pretty enough, other dumb excuses, etc). At one point, her eyes were saying "hey I'm here, when are you gonna come and talk to me?" And I didn't. Ugh, dammit! The taste of a dozen rejections is sweet compared to the taste of regret. Next time I hesitate for one second, I'll remember this, and get myself going!

I know what you mean and it sucks. Fortunately for me it doesn't happen that often. Ironically, the more I like the girl the bigger the risk is that I talk myself out of it despite overt IOI.

If you the next time manage to 'talk yourself out of not to approach' then it would be appreciated if you could make an update as to how you did it.

Post: #22

^^

I am by no means a player ( yet ) but if there's one thing I've managed to surpass is approach anxiety . The way I do it is quite simple , when I see a girl I'm extremely attracted to I ask myself a very simple question :

" Are you , or are you not the shit ? "

One thing I've noticed after having 150 approaches under my belt is that the rudest rejections/blowouts come from 5s -6s and 7s .

I consider myself to be a male 6 . The other day I saw my " dream girl " on the other side of the street . I had already gotten a number earlier that day so I tried to talk myself out of it by saying " go home , you've already done your daily approach , it's cool "

But then my player instincts kicked in and said " What have you really got to lose ? Are you or are you not the shit ? "

Then I said " Fuck it " Turned around and crossed the road .

Long story short , I ran over and caught up to her and got her number despite her boyfriend shit test .

I texted her and she didn't reply but how do you think my ego/confidence feels about knowing that I have the ability to go up to my dream girl and game her ?

" Go out of your way to open girls that intimidate you " I'm quoting a forum member but I've forgotten who . Either way that quote stuck with me .

Post: #23

Thanks Sensei and Giovinny, I will read your posts again so I digest them in their entirety.

More approaches from yesterday:

1. On a group bike ride's rest stop, I went up to this girl and said "Hey, I saw you here and wanted to say hi. What's up with you?" She smiled and said hi, but then I felt awkward and went into interview mode (primarily about biking), and ejected after a few minutes. Doing the opener itself is the easy part, but like some poster said, (WIA? can't remember who exactly) doing direct is like being thrown out of a comfortable bed into a cold backyard pool early in the morning. I'll need to do a few more of these just so I can get used to this.

2. At a coffee bar, I was looking for a seat to work on my laptop, and saw an empty seat across a small table from this girl (7). Asked her if this seat is available (yes) and I sat down. She smiled, I smiled back. IOI. But I wasn't in any hurry. Brought out my laptop and turned on the WIFI. Needed a password, so I asked her if she knew the WIFI password (no). So I asked her to watch my stuff, went up and ordered a coffee, and got the password from the barista. Went back to my seat and told her that I got the password, and she asked what it was. Then I went back to my laptop to do research on pimping my bachelor pad, while she read on her ipad. Half an hour later, I decided to re-open her, get her #, and then move upstairs. Here's how it went:

Me: "Hey, I need your opinion on something. See, I just moved to my new apartment close to here, and I am looking for an area rug. Tell me which one you like best" (I know I know I said I'll do direct, but bear with me, the context was perfect for such an opener... showed her 3 options on my laptop)
Her: "Hmm, I like that one best"
Me: "That's what I figured, I like those curvy patterns on that kind of rug"
Her: "It can be any color you want, too"
Me: "Like red, green...?"
Her: "Yes, any color"
Me: "Cool, I was thinking of going with a lighter color because my wood floors are dark, my couch is dark brown leather, and my entertainment unit is black..."
Then I change topics...
Me: "So you're from around here?"
Her: "Yes, I grew up here. What about you?"
Me: "I moved here 7 years ago from the east coast" (didn't specify exactly where I'm from, wanting to see if she'd take the bait and ask)
Her: "Do you like it here?" (according to Day Bang, this is a nibble, not a full bite)
Me: "Sure, I like it here. One thing I miss the most about the east... the 4 seasons."
Her: (nods in agreement) "We definitely don't have that here."
... then I ramble a bit about how Boston is getting all those blizzards, she talks about the time she's been to boston for work, I talk about how it's a big city with a small town feel, blah blah about travel for a couple minutes... then I ask her this:
Me: "So if you had a month of free time where you can do anything you want, where would you travel to?"
Her: (thinks for a minute) "I definitely would go out of the country. Probably Greece"
Me: "Oh yeah, you should go to Santorini, with all the white domed architecture against a backdrop of deep blue seas. I want to go there also, plus now it's cheap."
... then I close with...
Me: "Hey, I have a friend coming soon and I need to grab another table with two open seats, it was nice talking to you. You seem cool, let's go for a drink sometime." Hand over my phone and get the digits.

We'll see if this one pans out. I'll text her later today, and continue meeting girls as I've been doing.

Post: #24

^^ texted her today.

Me: xxxx! It's me cleanslate the guy at xxxx looking for the perfect rug. Wanted to say hi. How's your day going?
Her: well I hope my rug advice helped the search. my day is giong well, I was busy at work which passed the time quickly. how was your day?
Me: had the day off (yay me!) so I rode my bike a bit this morning when it was still warm. Let's have a drink at xxx, which day works better for you, tues or thurs?
Her: Tuesday works well for me, I get off around 5:30 so I could do maybe 7?
Me: 7 sounds perfect
Her: Great

Now I'm trying to decide whether to go for the bang at the end of tomorrow's date, or kiss her at the end and then go for a 2nd date. Thoughts?

Whatever happens, will keep finding more plates to spin till I have a nice harem that a good Muslim like me is supposed to have.

Post: #25

^^^^

Good textgame.

In my book you should always try for the bang. If you don't, she might punish you for not at least trying.