Post: #1

Hey guys,

I'm not sure where I went wrong in a text interaction after a first date with an online girl. First date was at two venues. quick drink at the first one, venue switched, k-closed, made out. Connection level was medium, but it was ok. It went like this:

me: hey, nice meeting you the other day, want to go out again?
her: ok!
me: tomorrow?
her: sure.
me: ok, meet me at [venue near my place] at 8:30pm.
her: no, [inserts name of venue near her place].

(I'll spare you analysis of what such rude reply does to my desire to do anything with her but bang her once).

I'm not going to her area, because she lives with two dudes, that's a dead end and I'll just be buying her a drink and wasting my time.

me: take a cab?
her: no, come here. what will it be?
me: I'm not coming.
her: why?
... pause ...
her: [disses me about how I don't want to come to the venue and calls me homophobic, because it's a half gay bar]
me: unnecessary drama. I asked you out and I'm not going to bus around town to make it happen. A cab is a click away.
her: [blah blah blah, good luck with your life]

Hm. Not sure if I could've done it some other way. She wanted to go out again, but I guess not enough to do it on my terms.

Post: #2

Don't say "nice meeting you the other day" (-1). Don't ask two questions right away (-1). Don't use questions marks (-2). Another question mark (-2). A blank statement "I'm not coming", sounds maybe sorta butthurt (-1).

The scorecard doesn't look good at this point, noted by her short responses. Here she's down to 4 characters "why?". Your comment about her being rude is accurate, and I agree. You saw the writing on the wall at that point.

She sounds like a bitch anyway tho. A girl who says "no, come here" is a stupid bitch. She has neither the decency nor the intelligence to be polite. My comments are not hard and fast rules, but if you take all of them in the context you had, they kill her tingles.

Post: #3

Arguing with her was rather unnecessary and it definitely did not aid your cause.

You should have calmly asked her WHY she didn't want to come to the place you suggested. Perhaps she had a valid reason. At the very least you should have given her a believable lie as to why you couldn't go to the place she suggested.

I reckon you were trying too hard to be Alpha that you appeared to be too much of an asshole and her clearly feminist attitude couldn't handle it. Yes she was rude, but I'm positive that she interpreted your attitude as rude too.

Personally, if she outright refused to come to the place I suggested, I would have reluctantly agreed to go to her gay bar BUT I would flip the script and flake on her 5 minutes before the date was supposed to begin. She would most likely be pissed but that emotion could easily turn into attraction. I would then proceed to set up another date at the bar you suggested. If she starts again with her rude bullshitting and shit testing then I would be forced to push the NEXT button.

Post: #4

You needed to drive the interaction.
Taking the logistics into account was good, but not leading was a sign of beta behaviour that she attempted to manipulate.
I'd next her. Plenty more out there.

Post: #5

Belongs in this thread:
/thread-28919-page-36.html

Also, bitch shield came up quick ! I would've laughed at her calling me a homophobe, flaked last minute (great idea Sydney).

Personally she sounds like a cunt already, I'd of nexted her.

Post: #6

Thanks for the replies, these are useful points of view. I'll be stingy on the question marks next time . I took her rude reply as a green light to experiment with little extra rudeness and assertiveness myself, as there was obviously not much value to be lost.

I'll post in the other thread next time.