Post: #1

Emphasis on social.

If you ever moved to a new location, it's relatively simple to get a new gf. But your boys, your circles, don't rebuild as easily.

In the context of a relationship, a player can find himself getting more involved in her circles, friends, family, work, hobbies... Take it from me, this is less than optimal.

And putting your "alpha foot down" and not going, or forbidding her to go, or attempting to occupy all of her time is a recipe for disaster.

The opposite, an active social life is the key this particular problem.

So back to the question, do you currently have an active social life that does not involve game?

WIA

Post: #2

(01-14-2015 04:24 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  Emphasis on social.

If you ever moved to a new location, it's relatively simple to get a new gf. But your boys, your circles, don't rebuild as easily.

In the context of a relationship, a player can find himself getting more involved in her circles, friends, family, work, hobbies... Take it from me, this is less than optimal.

And putting your "alpha foot down" and not going, or forbidding her to go, or attempting to occupy all of her time is a recipe for disaster.

The opposite, an active social life is the key this particular problem.

So back to the question, do you currently have an active social life that does not involve game?

WIA

Yes, absolutely. It would be strange and unique if my social circle did not eclipse the social circle of a girl I'm dating.

My social circle is a gift that keeps on giving in terms of social proof and in terms of automatically enforcing no doubt in a girl's mind that I have a multitude of options.

I like a term that DistantLight (I believe) coined in the context of high end nightlife which is that of a "connector" so I'll steal it here for my general social life. I am a connector in many of the social circles and have good relationships with many more connectors (and am close friends with a few of them) so my social "net" as it were is wide.

Post: #3

No. Work, gym and game.

A social life would be nice though. I've tried meetup for some investing meetups and other things but they've never amounted to much or any friendships in my area. I attribute this half to me for not being outgoing enough and half that the people who have attended these events have been free-lunch losers or people who already have so much going on in their life.

Personally, I've found that people are willing to accept you into their social life in big cities because everyone moves into the big city and knows how it is to start fresh. Moving into smaller places no one has ever been in that place before so I've never been proactively invited out and have to invite myself. That's been my experience but I'm sure it's different with others.

I guess I have not tried hard enough. I'm beginning some volunteering and group fitness classes and a few other tricks so we'll see how that goes. I'm much more interested in building a social life than game right now, because in the end sex is just sex.

Post: #4

Yes, but I don't find it as fun.

It involves tons of a couples and has even since I was in college. Having to hear all their bullshit drama.

I'd like to get to a place where I have a hand picked group of guys around me that all want to get rich and bang lots of chicks but even the guys that were born with this in them still get into relationship drama and their bitches get knocked up.

I really need to get back to playing music in a band and make the music scene my social group, but I am having too much fun being an anti-social gamer right now. I still get a huge high off going out alone.

Post: #5

I only see my main girl once or twice a week, that's perfect for both of us. Gives me alone time and time to bang other girls.

I don't go out much on the weekdays unless there is a birthday, date/bang a new notch, bang plates, or something special.

I keep my weekends usually with my boys or activities (then again I work weekends
also). My weekend job is a throwaway, so I take time off when I want too. Most my social life happens at night shows/bars/sports.

-I love going to live shows, we have a few rad venues here for it.
-I'll get up early sometimes on the weekends and go shooting with some gents.
-I also love going to events like Coachella, Stagecoach, Punk Rock Bowling.
-I'll free climb at an indoor 24/7 gym once in awhile.
-I constantly go to hockey and baseball games (the rink and the field are literally half a mile away from my work).

I feel like if you only live to game or your wife or girl, you're losing out on so much.

We're losing a bit of life everyday, why the fuck don't we take full advantage of what we have left ?

Post: #6

My game is my social life.

That's not particularly a good thing but it gives you more time to focus on your goals.

Post: #7

Mid 30s here. Many of my closest friends have gotten married and started families. I've had to work on building new groups of friends in the last half decade. I've got a few social circles, and sometimes mix them together.

a) Group activity crew of girls and guys (2:1 ratio of girls): This core group started almost a decade ago. Mostly cali transplants here in NYC. This is a good group of 15 friends that are connected to my brother and I, and we've built it up over the years by adding some new folks. We do lots of dinner parties, birthday and holiday parties, happy hours, boozing, and events like Montauk summer rentals and camping.

Not much game involved when I hang with them but these peoples are social and connect the rest of the group to other crews. Lots of couples now so I prob hang only once ever week or so. Once in awhile they bring in new people that can be gamed up. I'm actually made good friendships with the boyfriends of my homegirls in this crew.

b) Small inner circle that I hang out with the most, 2-3x a week: Includes brother, closest buddies, main wing, and a few folks I've met in the last half decade, who are also a part of the above. One of the girls here gets me connected to some cool nightlife scenes. I can game around this crew anytime.

c) Roosh crew. Most of our hanging out is game related. I've thrown meetups to connect the NYC forum members and make some new friends. I've actually grown some good friendships here in the last year with a few of the guys. I probably hang with someone from the RVF at least one a week.

With these 3 groups I could hangout with trusted friends or have an event to go to almost every night if I wanted to(I don't). In Manhattan its easy to hang with these social circles since many friends live within a half hour subway or even a 10 minute walk from my pad. These social circles has enriched my life with a calendar of fun events, numerous drinking buddies, a good support system, and introductions that have even resulted in a few bangs.

There is only so much time in a week, so I actually try to find balance between social circle/friends, game/dating, and doing the solo thing and working on myself.

And I actually never hang with my girl's friends. She's 19 and has partied with all 3 groups above and enjoys it, sometimes more so than her group.

Post: #8

I was quite socially active several back. Around 2011-12 or that started to drop off sharply. Most of it was just due to my social circle getting into their mid 30s. People were either getting married, having kids, busy with work, and even the people that were still single just weren't going out much anymore. I started just doing a lot more things I enjoyed by myself like cycling. Now that I'm in a new town, I've met some people, but I don't have any robust social life. After 35 it's really tough to build that and you just come to accept the fact that you'll probably never have the social liveliness you had in the college and post-college years.

Post: #9

I have a very active social life and always have.
I'm lucky in that I've always been outgoing, like keeping in touch with people and have an easy time making friends so I've always had a big social circle.

However this does inhibit my gaming as I don't like to approach in front of my friends and since I only usually go out to pubs/bars/clubs with friends it means I don't really night game much.
It also takes up a lot of my time in general as I'm usually spending 3 -5 nights a week doing something with friends (dinner, movie, playing sport, watching sport, etc). This makes it hard to slot in dates which is why right now I've settled on a couple of regular plates I see every week or two and then I go on a date with a new girl once a week.

Post: #10

My biggest problem with most social circles is I really enjoy 1 or 2 friends from each of mine.

Then for some reason those ones I try to bring together from different social groups and they don't get along due to conflicting personalities. So I've never had that group of 4 or 5 guys come together that I really enjoy hanging with all of them 100 since college (even then too many of them were owned by their chicks). Add to the fact to hurt this more the chances of these guys being good at or even being open to game makes the situation worse.

Sitting around and watching a UFC match or going to a pub with 8 or 10 people with some mixed couples and fake laughing at some dumb broad's poor attempt at a joke because she is your friend's hoe is not much different than stepping up on that high chair and pushing my head through the loop.

Post: #11

I haven't met any men I consider worthy of friendship honestly. I do my own thing.

Post: #12

No. I have a select few friends I meet briefly for a beer once or twice a week, maybe watch a movie with - and on average once a month or so do something else with, like going to a club or hiking or a short one day road trip - but I prefer solitude most of the time for most of the things I enjoy doing, whether it's reading, hiking, going to the gym, traveling or just relaxing on the couch.

A few hours in the company of other people and I'm usually longing for some time to myself - and that preferably includes multiple hours a day behind closed doors in my own home, or hotel room if I'm traveling.
(Contrary to the opiniosn of most manosphere guys though, it's usually easier for me to meet women than men these days that I can effortlessly have long conversations with, often equally superficial with both genders, but more fun with the girls as there's playfulness and flirting.)

I used to be more social 15+ years ago, but more because it came naturally with school, high school and university (I work freelance from home, so no co-workers for the last many years), than because it was something I actively desired to a great degree.

While I can certainly see the benefits relating to status and thus easier access to women, that comes with having a strong social circle, those benefits (and in the end, for me it would really mostly be for the women) just don't weigh strongly enough for me to want to commit the amount of effort and time it requires to build and maintain an even remotely substantial social circle. I quite like passing through life making mostly very temporary acquaintances.

Post: #13

My social life is my game. When you create the bubble, pussy will come to you. Don't chase something that should be so far down on your priority list.

Post: #14

My social life is kind of anormal. I study a lot and spend most of my free time reading. My few close friends all work in high finance or management consulting so it's hard to hang out with them as they're either working or pitching/closing deals abroad.

Post: #15

Yes and No.

I work a lot, but I go on dates during the week days (mon-thurs) and try to spend time with my friends on the weekends. I'm also not adverse to a night in just reading a good book and relaxing. Balance in all things. If I go out too much, I lose something. I feel stupider and less spontaneous, but if I stay in too long I become sort of strange. I naturally revert to a state of introversion, so I keep the wheels greased with dating, drinking and such.

Post: #16

Great thread. For me the answer is Barely.

I used to have a great crew of drinking buddies from college that I lived with after graduation. Collectively we didn't have much game, but we were good-looking, fun, and douchey enough to attract average chicks at most DC bars. We got completely shitfaced every weekend and always had a great time. They also loved lifting, playing/watching sports, gambling, doing all the standard fun bro stuff. They were all hilarious too - love those guys.

I got into the forum and self-improvement after my long time girlfriend dumped me at 24. I realized my crew got way too drunk, had no real ambitions, and absolutely hated anything or anyone new. I still hung out with them all the time, but I think I started to look down on them a bit for being so close-minded. I read all of Roosh's books, started going out solo, did the approaches, became addicted to game, and got reasonably good. Then I quit my job to start my own business in a new city. I'm nowhere near as close to them now, but I still visit when I can and still call them my best friends.

In my experience, Quality friends > Quality lifestyle > Quality pussy. Recent high school and college grads - if you have dudes you really get along with, do yourself a favor and invest the time needed to maintain the friendships. They're truly special.

Post: #17

I have a very active social life, but more and more I've drifted away from a lot of my old male friends over time. I've got to the point know where all my good guy friends now are guys from game, and I've merged them into my wider social circle. I lied about how I met each of them though.

I just find it hard to respect guys who are beta, and you can't have a good friendship with someone you don't respect. Not saying all the game guys I've met have been cool (far from it), but cool guys from high school and university have been pretty scarce. I can be friends with western slut party girls or whatever no problem, but not beta's... Maybe because the former can be actually fun to be around.

Post: #18

I'm 32 yo in Washington D.C.

The worst thing is the guys here. We complain about the chicks, but the guys here are busted and completely clueless. Sorry I haven't run into any forum members here (Are there any left?).

I've had a good number of friends in the international community (Europeans) that I can relate to on a lot of levels, but outside of those friends (who are mostly connected to my past LTR, so they're fading away), I have one closer friend here I've had for years but I don't respect him very much because he's beta male feminist. The only thing that ties us together is the fact that he has mystery man alooftitude that makes him an accidental alpha with the babes. No game whatsoever. Kind of proves the value of being emotionally aloof, even if your ideas are completely pedestalizing.

Deluge is right about it not being easy to be friends with someone you don't respect. My American "friends" here are nearly all journalists, nearly all buy into the SJW worldview, and frankly are kind of pretentious. But this is D.C., I can't vouch for the rest of the country. Baltimore was a notch or three better for friends...

But outside of game, I have a ton of interests... cooking, guitar, seeing music shows, movies... Now that I'm newly single, I want to pursue all of those things and game.

Thing is... I've been in the game for a while, but I haven't made an effort to reach out to ya'll. I have one close friend in Texas that introduced me to all of this. Trying to move somewhere else to escape this place and build my social life from there...

And Travesty -- that's my goal: "I'd like to get to a place where I have a hand picked group of guys around me that all want to get rich and bang lots of chicks"

Post: #19

I have a small cadre of like-minded pals I chill (and occasionally party) with, including some coworkers. We watch a lot of movies, drink and bullshit, yak about chicks, and talk about history.

If we do go out it's to a quality bar/restaurant type place, we almost never go out for the purpose of meeting girls and never go to douchey meat-market drunk-bars or nightclubs where we don't know the staff.

We all have different hobbies, but we support each other and so act as accountability partners for developing our passions.

My roommate doesn't drink and likes to keep it quiet (work, gym, repeat) so that keeps from dragging me into any disruptive life patterns, also we don't have drunks coming around at late hours like I've seen before with roommates who are too apt to party.

I'm comfortable enough with my introversion that I don't acquire fake friends just to have people around.

I see so many people mindlessly going through a sort of post-college lifestyle of drinking and clubbing just because they think that's what's expected of them. It's not worth it, you can and will have a meaningful life if you work your passions and surround yourself with people who support you in it.

Post: #20

(01-14-2015 08:44 PM)Fortis Wrote:  Yes and No.

I work a lot, but I go on dates during the week days (mon-thurs) and try to spend time with my friends on the weekends. I'm also not adverse to a night in just reading a good book and relaxing. Balance in all things. If I go out too much, I lose something. I feel stupider and less spontaneous, but if I stay in too long I become sort of strange. I naturally revert to a state of introversion, so I keep the wheels greased with dating, drinking and such.

I'm the same way - my tendency is to stay in and away from people, but then I feel rotten, so I recognize I have conflicting internal incentives. I guess it's like exercise, it feels good to do nothing, until you get fat.

Post: #21

I mostly hang around with red pill friends here in Toronto, although I do have non-red pill friends as well that I chill with sometimes but not as often(from school). The non-redpill dudes are chill and none of them are beta. My red pill friends are ambitious and the perfect kind of people to surround myself with.

Post: #22

Even though back in school, I was always a very social and outgoing person, I've shed almost everything about the old me, and unfortunately the sociability went along with it. Ever since really getting into this stuff, it's real difficult for me to make friends and go out. Hell, it's hard to keep in touch with old friends. Outside of occasionally going out with a friend from work, I spend my time reading, here, writing, studying and working out. I don't even know if I particularly care that much, I had my time as a popular social guy.

Post: #23

I used to spend some time with friends when I was younger, and by and large it was a complete waste of time.
What do you actually get out of it? You spend X hours talking shit and then you go home. Whats the point in that?

As I see it, socializing must yield the following to be of any point:
Women - sex
Men - value (insight, network, business etc)

Women is obvious. I would happily spend 100% of my time with women. Having sex every day with attractive women = Phoenix at peak happiness.
Men should yield some kind of value. It could be insightful ideas or information. It could be a contact that comes in useful in the future. It could yield business leads. It could yield career advancement through meeting and making a good impression with the right people.

Note that hanging out with male 'buddies' detracts from both of those. You know everything your buddies have to say. They rarely have anything new to offer. You already have them as a contact. They are not going to be of any business use. Furthermore, if you are a growing man, who is improving himself, and they stay stagnant, they become merely a ball and chain on your foot. They become clueless critics. They become jealous. They become useless and a drag on you.

Also, the time you spend with them is also time that you cannot spend with women. Fuck that. If I could trade all the time wasted with buddies when I was young, for chasing women, I would.

Post: #24

Yes and no, I moved away from London where I had multiple social circles within which I used to engage. Now I sort of have one but we meet on average twice a month (small town with all blue pill guys who are saving for a Vegas expedition). The rest of my time is spent working and going to the gym.

I've decided to forego that pleasure (I'm sort of an extrovert) for now until my path in life is clear. It seems more people socialise via social media these days (it's not really socialising). However when I go on one of my euro jaunts, I hook up with social circles I've integrated into there. It's something me and MattC did well whilst abroad, we'd not just be daygaming, we'd be having fun with people we'd happily call friends. Whether that's handsome creepy eel in Split or Marko in Zagreb.

Many of my red pill aware friends are introverts and enjoy spending their time alone on their projects or playing games. That's fine, I don't really mind. I'm less orientated towards that though this spell being out of the social circle game has made me more of an introvert I'd say. I'm starting to loathe some social situations but I'm sure once I'm back within one of those aforementioned social circles, I'll start enjoying it again. I know people say that you only really have 5 best friends or something along those lines but I've kind of created that within multiple locations and I've kept in contact with them. 5 best friends in the City of London, a London suburb, my present location, Zagreb, Split, Madrid and my travelling red pill buddies. Make of that what you will heh

Post: #25

I'm heavily into photography as a hobby so all of my non game related social activities revolve around that. I have three other guy friends who are also photographers who I will hang out with a couple of times a month. However the rest of the time I'm either alone, with family or with the plates I'm currently spinning. A few years back I met a couple of guys in a singles Meetup group and we tried going out to game together a few times and it was a disaster. They either had no game and ruined any opportunities that came our way or they were horrible cock blocks. I like my game/social life balance now.