Post: #26

No, below average. The main reason for this is that until about age 25 I was socially awkward so I didn't connect with and hang on to the people I met before that. And I lack both the desire and ability to go back on those leads after the fact.

After that though I made this one solid friend through our mutual like of clubbing and through him I entered his circle of male friends from his part of the city. So I'm plugged into this one circle of dudes. They're good, fun guys, not beta; they picked up cold in the mid-2000s, but the problem now is that they're washed up and can't compete in the hyper-competitive environment of the '10s. Before, they eschewed befriending and orbiting girls because they could just go find them in the clubs, but it's not that easy anymore. And thus while I have male friends, I have no female friends.

As Roosh has said, "Back in 2002, having a social circle didn’t provide huge benefits because attractive girls were more accessible in night venues, but we’re seeing a shift to where having a deep roster of friends and high status within that social group will be necessary to get access that was essentially 'free' before." So social circles are a requirement now. And this is a problem, because social circles are really hit or miss; they're a real slough. They vary in size, in permeability, in quality. They could be great or they could be lame as shit. They are huge, uncertain time investments. They could be a complete waste and you have to put up with a lot of bullshit along the way. For late 20s, more introverted, logically-minded, non-clownish guys like me with a perhaps over-inflated sense of dignity for this day and age, they are a daunting prospect. If only I could just do 30 approaches at the bar and reliably 'cash out' with a cute, thin prospect every time and forego all this social orbiting BS ... but no it's not like that anymore.

So but now that I acknowledge this reality, what am I doing? Early in 2014 I made some minor efforts but they fizzled out due to circumstance. I live in a very socially cold city - it's tough to meet people. For now, I am not trying to make any inroads anymore because I am currently in a transition/"time out" period in my life. I plan to do a lot of traveling in 2015 and perhaps relocate to a new city. I could start afresh in the latter. It would be interesting to see how it goes. As for other community/"red pill" guys, fuckin' lol, don't kid yourself, most I've met are just losers or weirdos.

Post: #27

I maintain social circles purely for the logistic benefits / social proof effects of having a social circle.
Most men have no sense of honour or virtue and thus I have no real bond with over 90% of the guys in my circles.

That being said, the few men that I truly consider my friends I see at least a few times a week outside of gaming women at clubs / daygaming. This is my true inner circle and although hard to find people like this, it is very important to have them in your life.

Most friends come and go, and most are snakes.

Post: #28

I do, but not active enough.

I need to work on building one more this year. I should definitely head to some forum meetups in NYC for a high quality group of guys to be involved with.

Post: #29

Men in prior generations bonded through mutual activities, especially those that involved risk, mutual relience on each other, and shared benefits from cooperation . Hunting parties, war buddies, teamates in school sports, etc. Its the same reason for most of us our best buddies came from early in life, when we relied on each other. As guys get older and independent, and most adult lives tamer, the oppurtunities to have these bonding experiences tend to diminish.

Nowdays most of my closer guys friends are either college/HS buddies or guys that I do outdoor sports with.. whitewater kayaking, rock climbing, mountain biking. Everyone else in my social circle is more of a friendly acquaintance, but thats fine with me.

Post: #30

I used to. But then I moved to a place that has a small town vibe.

Almost everyone has lived here their entire lives. I'm afraid there isn't much room for new people in their sphere.

It also doesn't help my cause that everyone here is blue collar and I'm a city guy.

Post: #31

Good introspective question

Most of my life I've had a small number of friends and always male who jive with my interests at the time. I've had to move over continents multiple times through different schools and such so I've haver had a fundamental base of friends.

Now in my mid 30s - most of my social circle are dudes who are surfers since that's my passions and are less than 5. I don't really keep woman as friends. I can see what they bring to the table besides being good for value in a social setting.

It's interesting for me to see how the shift been for me over the last 10-15 years wrt social circle & friends

- 15yrs ago: if you had a good sense of humour and were cool we d be friends
10 years ago: if you liked going on and getting chicks pre-mystery we d be friends
- Now most of my friends are married or want to get there and almost all are red pill marrying international girls.

So now I'm solo from a game perspective and my social circle is connected to my passion.

I don't gets bored being alone.
My goal is - anyone added to my time should be a value- add for one or my interests - surfing, financial freedom and game.

As an aside - in LA most social circles are mini villages. I've flown in an out of different ones and it's crazy how long these mini villages stay togther and only hang out in groups. Very melrose place

/pardon typos commenting from mobile/

Post: #32

I have been nomadic since I left for military after high school here in Finland. Since I was 19 I have lived in Milan, Italy and three cities in Finland. In Italy Erasmus/student life provided more than enough social life. In Finland it was sports. Playing team sports in competetive level exposed me to many opportunities socially also. Team parties and meeting new people there or through strictly sports related occasions. Landed a few jobs while studying through owners or directors of the teams.

Now since being in Helsinki it is still mostly through sports. I coach semi pro and play for fun with expats from all over the world. We have lots of parties, thus I meet lots of new and cool people all the time. I rarely stay at home for more than one evening during the week.

-Hankk

Post: #33

Another problem is that so many dudes are so blue pill/PC/SJW these days. You can make a new buddy, but then watch this guy drop everything in his life to appease some girl that's a 5 on a good day and it just makes you sick. Sometimes the lonely road is the most peaceful road.

Post: #34

^speakeasy...I never found being around blue pill guys to affect my own romantic life. Of course the discussions with them is outside the game/red pill stuff.

Regardless of the government policy and the biggest newspaper here, there seems not to be too many outspoken sjw's in Finland in general or in my social circles in particular.

Post: #35

Not much. As I'm older, it makes it tougher. The days of friends calling up left and right and showing up unexpectedly knocking on my door to motivate me to go out and chase tail and drink are all but over.

One of my last 'partying' friends did the ultimate blue pill move and he married some girl who already had two kids. She's a 5.5 at best. He promptly knocked her up before the wedding and they had a kid already as he wanted his own kid...but now he's stuck taking care of her two pups for another 15 years too. His attitude changed recently too as he doesn't randomly call like he used to and he's abrupt in his texts and interactions with me. I think I did something to piss off his fiancé when I helped them move recently. The new lady must have said something about me which changed his attitude. This is my intuition from interacting with her and him lately at a mutual friends so it isn't confirmed...but if so, it's another nauseating blue pill development in his life on top of the epic mistake of marrying a sub par in looks girl WITH kids. I give not two fucks.

I even told him before marriage he should get a pre nup , especially since she's got two kids. He didn't want to hear it.

My other friend just likes to sit at the house and drink a lot. His hobby is actually beer. He also has a girl friend who likes drinking too. Then another one of my 'best friends' also married a girl with kids years ago and all he does is go to gun shows on weekends and sell shit. I still stop in and hangout at his office every once in a while to talk about life. He's a pretty red pill alpha dude and was good with the ladies back in the day...but he's just settled now.

I am in my local rotary and also an alumni group that meets once a month and does projects every year for my old school.

The people I hangout with now are some chicks I've met over the years and I still have one guy friend who likes to drink. I'm traveling this year and based on my results, I may move .....NYC, Dallas....hell, who knows? Maybe Colombia or Ukraine, though I do have an established business here that produces wonderful residual income.

Post: #36

I enjoy game and life is far more enjoyable when beautiful women are involves BUT… social circle means far more to me than game.

Close male friends are there for life. The experiences and the relationships eclipse all the female interactions and sexual activities derived from game.

Combined together it creates my ideal lifestyle. If in some strange circumstance it was one or the other I would always choose social circle. For me - Strong social circle whilst being unsuccessful with women trumps the alternative.

Post: #37

My active social life is my game.

(01-14-2015 04:24 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  Emphasis on social.

If you ever moved to a new location, it's relatively simple to get a new gf. But your boys, your circles, don't rebuild as easily.

I know what you are talking about.

I've moved frequently in the last years, about once every six months on average. At the ripe age of 28, I'm finally settling down...if you can call committing three years to Beijing settling down.

It is hard to rebuild your boys, because in most places, most decent guys already have their group. Much easier to find a girlfriend.

It can be done, however, it takes a lot of work.

Quote:In the context of a relationship, a player can find himself getting more involved in her circles, friends, family, work, hobbies... Take it from me, this is less than optimal.

And putting your "alpha foot down" and not going, or forbidding her to go, or attempting to occupy all of her time is a recipe for disaster.

The opposite, an active social life is the key this particular problem.

So back to the question, do you currently have an active social life that does not involve game?

WIA

Agree.

But the personal social circle, while it gives you an alternative to letting a woman take over your life, can also add value that can help you get women.

Post: #38

(01-16-2015 04:39 PM)robreke Wrote:  One of my last 'partying' friends did the ultimate blue pill move and he married some girl who already had two kids. She's a 5.5 at best. He promptly knocked her up before the wedding and they had a kid already as he wanted his own kid...but now he's stuck taking care of her two pups for another 15 years too. His attitude changed recently too as he doesn't randomly call like he used to and he's abrupt in his texts and interactions with me. I think I did something to piss off his fiancé when I helped them move recently. The new lady must have said something about me which changed his attitude. This is my intuition from interacting with her and him lately at a mutual friends so it isn't confirmed...but if so, it's another nauseating blue pill development in his life on top of the epic mistake of marrying a sub par in looks girl WITH kids. I give not two fucks.

I even told him before marriage he should get a pre nup , especially since she's got two kids. He didn't want to hear it.

Jesus.

All you can do in these circumstances is apply Law 10 - Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky

Post: #39

(01-16-2015 04:05 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  Another problem is that so many dudes are so blue pill/PC/SJW these days. You can make a new buddy, but then watch this guy drop everything in his life to appease some girl that's a 5 on a good day and it just makes you sick. Sometimes the lonely road is the most peaceful road.

I've gotten pretty disgusted lately with guys implicitly assuming that a girl's time is more valuable than their own with the kind of accommodations they make for her, or the fact that they are willing to meet a girl several times before they've fucked her. If you're a guy who is somewhat successful, do you know how much money/opportunity you're losing on some bitch over the course of those outings? It's seriously weaksauce and a lot of guys still don't realize that if you're not fucking a girl shortly after meeting her, it's not happening.

This is game 101, but fuckable women are such a scare commodity in the U.S. most guys are getting blinded.

Post: #40

I think Patrice O'Neal said it best.. basically when you give a woman your time, and put yourself by HER side or allow her by your's, you're giving her everything she wants. That's security to women, all your time, which money and emotions then stem from, and by default becomes opportunity cost.

I don't care if you're fucking her or not, too much time spent on any single woman just fucks your life. That weaksauce turns into kryptonite real quick.

Post: #41

The importance of my male social life grows as I become older.

Finding girls is...easy.

On the other hand, finding quality men is not. I've known my four best friends since I was in middle school, and I've known my best friend my entire life. Seriously.

The distance I now live from them is difficult, but in a way it's reaffirmed the importance of men being able to talk to men. I live 8,000 miles from my best friend, and I've made friends where I live, but nothing can replace the importance of speaking with him on FaceTime weekly. Nothing to hide, nothing to be afraid of when we talk. No pandering or posturing. Hell I'll fly 16,000 miles in 96 hours to be at his wedding this year.

I firmly believe that time develops a man's friendship. Consistency and dedication are hallmarks of male bonding. Flash and pomp are hallmarks of male/female bonding.

Tell me how long a man has known his best friend, and I'll tell you how much he can be trusted.

Post: #42

Damn this thread actually surprised me...

For other guy that mentioned me stating "connector"...Usually in real life I view it more like being a "Social hub" and "Social Nomad". In my head, I always felt for the most part like a solo merchant making his rounds. I say this because...

At my peak (going out 4-7x a week) I probably had 13-15 different social circles I was apart of along with my own personal social circle. To this day, it was the most enjoyable time of my life.
- LGBT Circle
- 4 Naturals & Hipster Circles (Kirilwashere was part of this social circle along with The Chainsmokers cousin who became a good friend of mine)
- 7 Model Centric Circles

Thing is, like someone else stated about "quality guys" these social circles consisted of maybe 95% girls and 5% guys. (I only had 45 guys in my contacts) Even my own personal social circle only had 1 other guy. (He was bi-sexual) It was always hard finding "goto" guys who didn't have any thirst (wasn't a zombie) and could hang amongst so many hot chicks. (I actually had a tranny as a partner in crime for maybe 3-4 months who I preferred over a guy anyday) Eventually I had 2 personal social circles, other 1 consisting of 2 other guys and about 15-20 girls. Every girl was tall. (In my 1st personal social circle 90% were tall as a select few short hipsters I loved)

All in all, back then, nothing really could top the level of enjoyment which is why when people say "Guys & Girls Can't Be Friends" I always think "They are thinking so rigidly" because they're coming from a frame of the "orbiter friend" who is playing nice "staking out" on his investment which he will one day pounce on...THAT'S LAME and of course that type of "friend" can almost never do anything sexually...

A real male/female "friendship" is one where the woman loves you but due to the MAN taking in account his abundance and overall social circumstances he never bothered to hookup with all his female friends that he considers awesome.

I always say this because 1 chick in my social circle was like my "twin"...





I've watched girls I actually hooked up with always imply that her and I were hooking up. As much as I loved her and still have love for her, there was a reason why I CONSCIOUSLY made sure we never fall too deep down that road. (That said, we did really like each other even thought about potentially moving in together)

Female friends IMO are the best!!! They teach you so much that would never be visible if it were a guy. I remember another female friend introducing me to a girl and let me tell you THE LEVEL OF GENUINE LOVE had me "frozen". I legit was thinking "how is it possible that someone could have so much love for another person...Like she really really likes me alot!!" (She wasn't the only one)

The Bros...My longest standing social circle are my GUY FRIENDS I met through the community who are #1. Ironically they actually hate the community so THANKFULLY nothing pickup related is ever talked about. Also helps due to...
- 7 of us were community heavy
- 3 had no knowledge of the community until they met us

P.S...2014 I didnt live it up just wanted to maintain my sanity so i'd go out 2-4x a month. Only hungout with 3 social circles on a consistent basis. Although attempted to atleast see each social circle 1x for the year. (My personal social circles are in shambles most of my crazies moved from the city)