Post: #1

On my way to yoga, i walked past this girl on the streets. It was one of those moments where you only realise the girls' hot after you've walked past her.

I turned around and followed her, waiting for the right moment to approach. We went up four escalators; I felt it too awkward to open her on the escalator, so i decided to follow her til the right moment presented itself.

She's at the theatre and she walks around for a fair bit. Im still waiting for that opportunity.

She finally takes a seat to put on her jacket and take some pills, and Im still waiting for that opportunity.

I have an opener in mind but I hesitate. From a distance i examine her and i realise that she bears an uncanny resemblances to my ex; more on that later.

She gets up from her seat and i get ready to approach. I think to myself "this is my chance"

She's walking in the direction of the popcorn stand and talking on the phone. I wait for her to hang up.

She hangs up, and is greeted by a tub of lard with shoulder length hair. I can't tell the gender of my cock-blocker.

I leave the cinema infuriated. In hindsight i should have turned around and tap her on the shoulder the moment I walked past her. I could have talked to her on the escalator. I could have talked to her while she was sitting down. I could have talked to her while she was standing at macdonalds.

3 days into the new year and I've already broken one of my game resolutions. Whats worse is the fact that I'm no neophyte to game and yet somehow my balls shrank.

I'm sure many of you have made the same mistake. Do realise that there is no "perfect moment", if we were to look at what happened to me today, I waited for that "perfect moment". It never came, things only got worse.

edit: As I've mentioned, the girl bore an uncanny resemblance to my ex; I'm quite perturbed by this.

After I left the cinema, I caught myself thinking about what would have happened if I had approached her, gotten her number, asked her out etc...However illogical this might sound, I thought that she was "the one" as my ex had been. For a moment all the things I learnt about game, and the true nature of women slipped my mind. I fantasised about having a relationship with her and how she would complete my life. I tried to make myself believe that she would be exactly like my ex because she looked like her.

In October 2013, I briefly dated a girl from my gym who I was crushing on since 2012. I didn't have the courage to approach her even though she gave me a lot of IOIs. We dated till November and I blew it by being really beta.

Yes my situation is unique in its own way, but this could happen to any of you. You could be so bewitched by a woman that you can't find the courage to talk to her, and end up fantasising about what would happen if you had approached her.

Let this serve as a foreshadow as to what would happen if you allow these ludicrous thoughts to enter your mind.

Post: #2

(01-03-2015 08:15 AM)Agreddor Wrote:  On my way to yoga, i walked past this girl on the streets. It was one of those moments where you only realise the girls' hot after you've walked past her.

I turned around and followed her, waiting for the right moment to approach. We went up four escalators; I felt it too awkward to open her on the escalator, so i decided to follow her til the right moment presented itself.

She's at the theatre and she walks around for a fair bit. Im still waiting for that opportunity.

She finally takes a seat to put on her jacket and take some pills, and Im still waiting for that opportunity.

I have an opener in mind but I hesitate. From a distance i examine her and i realise that she bears an uncanny resemblances to my ex; more on that later.

She gets up from her seat and i get ready to approach. I think to myself "this is my chance"

She's walking in the direction of the popcorn stand and talking on the phone. I wait for her to hang up.

She hangs up, and is greeted by a tub of lard with shoulder length hair. I can't tell the gender of my cock-blocker.

I leave the cinema infuriated. In hindsight i should have turned around and tap her on the shoulder the moment I walked past her. I could have talked to her on the escalator. I could have talked to her while she was sitting down. I could have talked to her while she was standing at macdonalds.

3 days into the new year and I've already broken one of my game resolutions. Whats worse is the fact that I'm no neophyte to game and yet somehow my balls shrank.

I'm sure many of you have made the same mistake. Do realise that there is no "perfect moment", if we were to look at what happened to me today, I waited for that "perfect moment". It never came, things only got worse.

Sorry bro, I've been there many times waiting for the perfect moment, that never comes.

There is a saying "he who hesitates is lost" it is so true in game, although it applies in many areas of life.

Post: #3

As I've mentioned, the girl bore an uncanny resemblance to my ex; I'm quite perturbed by this.

After I left the cinema, I caught myself thinking about what would have happened if I had approached her, gotten her number, asked her out etc...However illogical this might sound, I thought that she was "the one" as my ex had been. For a moment all the things I learnt about game, and the true nature of women slipped my mind. I fantasised about having a relationship with her and how she would complete my life. I tried to make myself believe that she would be exactly like my ex because she looked like her.

In October 2013, I briefly dated a girl from my gym who I was crushing on since 2012. I didn't have the courage to approach her even though she gave me a lot of IOIs. We dated till November and I blew it by being really beta.

Yes my situation is unique in its own way, but this could happen to any of you. You could be so bewitched by a woman that you can't find the courage to talk to her, and end up fantasising about what would happen if you had approached her.

Let this serve as a foreshadow as to what would happen if you allow these ludicrous thoughts to enter your mind.

Post: #4

One of the game principles that I've always liked the most is the 3-second rule, because it's just so spot on. After that 3 second mark, your brain kicks in and leads you to doing stupid shit like following her around waiting for the right moment to open her. Waiting for the right moment is the route to involuntary celibacy. Your best opportunity to get her was on the street, right after she walked by and you noticed her.

Now you'll never know what you missed out on. She may have been the type that loved to do anal and then make you pancakes afterwards, but you'll never know now. This was the kind of stuff I told myself when I missed an opportunity and it sure helped to make sure I followed the rule moving forward.

Next time you see a hot girl, start counting. 1..... 2.....3 and go. Your dick will thank you in the long run.

Post: #5

The only time I've been a beta in my life is when I was in love.
When I see a girl I really want I try not to miss the opportunity. I don't believe in "the one" and I think no one should. You can live your life on your own she's just "an extra". So since you don't need it you shouldn't be afraid of what could happen. That's how I think when I approach a girl.

Now you realized that there is no perfect moment. Its a good thing. Next step is to keep in mind that there's no " perfect girl" neither. So you should just go and take the very first moment and treat her like every other girl.

If you put her on a pedestal you will go beta to get her.

Post: #6

(01-03-2015 08:34 AM)MikeD Wrote:  The only time I've been a beta in my life is when I was in love.
When I see a girl I really want I try not to miss the opportunity. I don't believe in "the one" and I think no one should. You can live your life on your own she's just "an extra". So since you don't need it you shouldn't be afraid of what could happen. That's how I think when I approach a girl.

Now you realized that there is no perfect moment. Its a good thing. Next step is to keep in mind that there's no " perfect girl" neither. So you should just go and take the very first moment and treat her like every other girl.

If you put her on a pedestal you will go beta to get her.

Funny you should mention the correlation between being beta and being in love.

I felt like i was 13 again today. Remember when you were a teenager. Hell, in your blue-pill days when you crushed on a girl and were petrified at the thought of talking to her. Those butterflies came back today.

Post: #7

OP, you're making it sound like it's the end of the world. It's disappointing, but it happens and everyone has been guilty of it.

Even though you've made it your own personal mantra now, it will probably happen again, for whatever reason (which you'll justify in your head at the time). It's human nature (ego preservation), pure and simple.

Whilst you don't know unless you try, and short of owning a crystal ball, what you're entertaining is just fantasy. You're projecting the best case scenario, but you could have just as easily been shot down with a "I've got a boyfriend" or any myriad of excuses...or gotten her number and then having her not respond. So let that weigh in too.

The good thing is, there are plenty more out there that you can approach.

Post: #8

Very true. The second I start over thinking and waiting for that moment is when Iv already psyched myself out. I find this happens alot at the gym, ill get constant eye fucks and contemplate approaching until shes already finished her workout and left the gym.

The day when my game will reach new levels of success is where Im approaching out of instinct and not out of a thought out action. Day game approaching is not easy, but once day game becomes somewhat routine in regards to approach anxiety, it translates into night game being so much easier.

Post: #9

Roosh wrote once about using these moments as an opportunity for learning and reflection.
What could you have said and done?
Then, when that situation repeats itself, you will be ready.
Otherwise don't beat yourself up about it and let it go.

One thing though, is the regret of NOT approaching is far worse than whatever the outcome is from opening our mouths...

Post: #10

I feel your pain. Was at a starbucks recently and a 7-8 walked in. Every guy in there was starring and she was just my type but I froze waiting for the right moment or thinking she was in a rush. In hindsight, I should have just approached. New goal to do it within 3-4 seconds with no regrets. Hate those after moment thoughts, they last a lot longer than the feeling of rejection.

Post: #11

(01-03-2015 08:48 AM)Agreddor Wrote:  Funny you should mention the correlation between being beta and being in love.

I felt like i was 13 again today. Remember when you were a teenager. Hell, in your blue-pill days when you crushed on a girl and were petrified at the thought of talking to her. Those butterflies came back today.

I know the feeling. There's one girl I'm having hard time with. I met her at a party got her phone number but I got into a relationship the very next day.
Now 6 years later I'm single and trying my best not to show her that I care about her.

Girls seems love when we make them feel like they are just another girl.

Post: #12

(01-03-2015 08:15 AM)Agreddor Wrote:  Yes my situation is unique in its own way, but this could happen to any of you. You could be so bewitched by a woman that you can't find the courage to talk to her, and end up fantasising about what would happen if you had approached her.

Maybe I'm misreading, but I think it's funny that you word it this way as if it's some kind of rare occurrence. "It could happen to you," as if it's chance of happening is not likely but important to be aware of anyway on the off chance that it does.

To the contrary, I think it probably happens to all of us at least semi-regularly. In my estimation, it's been happening to me since I went through puberty. Even in sixth grade, I'd have Disney movie fantasies about those cute girls in my class.

To those it doesn't happen to it's probably because they've spent a long time, likely years, suppressing that reflexive mode of thinking we're prone to upon seeing a girl whose beauty strikes us in that Disney-fantasy kind of way. Either that, or they're naturals that never unconsciously desired companionship from women, which I believe is a necessary ingredient to this instant infatuation you are describing. Only sine I've been exposed to red pill thinking, about two years ago, can I consciously suppress this way of thinking whenever it springs up. It takes work, but at least now I can catch myself.

Post: #13

(01-03-2015 08:29 AM)ChrisPitts Wrote:  One of the game principles that I've always liked the most is the 3-second rule, because it's just so spot on. After that 3 second mark, your brain kicks in and leads you to doing stupid shit like following her around waiting for the right moment to open her. Waiting for the right moment is the route to involuntary celibacy. Your best opportunity to get her was on the street, right after she walked by and you noticed her.

Now you'll never know what you missed out on. She may have been the type that loved to do anal and then make you pancakes afterwards, but you'll never know now. This was the kind of stuff I told myself when I missed an opportunity and it sure helped to make sure I followed the rule moving forward.

Next time you see a hot girl, start counting. 1..... 2.....3 and go. Your dick will thank you in the long run.

New to game so hadn't heard this before but I like it. You have to strike before your brain fills with doubts.

I did a similar thing to the OP today. I was walking home from the gym and stopped to get a coffee, on my way out I noticed a pretty girl sitting by herself at a table and looking bored. But instead of opening her, I pussied out and kept on walking.
I've been thinking about that all day and how "what's the worst that could have happened?".
Going to take this 3-second rule to heart.

Post: #14

(01-03-2015 08:48 AM)Agreddor Wrote:  I felt like i was 13 again today. Remember when you were a teenager. Hell, in your blue-pill days when you crushed on a girl and were petrified at the thought of talking to her. Those butterflies came back today.

That sounds great-feeling alive.

The idea that's "smart" and "red pill" to not be excited about a girl seems like a deadening worldview.

Post: #15

I'm no stranger to this. I was at a bar last night with a wing. It was one of those nights where you get looks from every girl in the place. Some girl even pinched my ass, place was packed so couldn't see who it was, never happened to me before.

So we're standing near the bar when two of the hottest girls decide to stand behind us. Begging us to approach. And they stood there for a good 15 minutes waiting. While we were screwing around thinking of an opener they dissappeared. I wanted to punch myself in the face, even now the day after. My wing tells me we'll catch them later. But I knew better, there are no second chances....this rule has been proven repeatedly. I needed a mentor right then and there to slap me in the face.

Post: #16

'What's the worst thing that could happen' this is very interesting statement.

Well the worst thing that could happen was, she ignores you, you are left alone and there are people watching you.
At that moment, that self humiliation feeling can be the worst you can have.

You feel silly when you think back. It's like thinking about public speech you made in school.
When you think back, you feel like you could've done it better without worrying about the crowds.
Let's put you in the same position with the same amount of pressure, right Now. How about now? (obviously, it can be improved after practices)

Pretty much everything in life, it looks easier when you think back.

That's just part of life. Don't beat up yourself. Everybody is like you. Embrace it.

Post: #17

We need to talk about your titling choices.

Post: #18

(01-04-2015 05:47 AM)RealityCheck Wrote:  

(01-03-2015 08:15 AM)Agreddor Wrote:  Yes my situation is unique in its own way, but this could happen to any of you. You could be so bewitched by a woman that you can't find the courage to talk to her, and end up fantasising about what would happen if you had approached her.

Maybe I'm misreading, but I think it's funny that you word it this way as if it's some kind of rare occurrence. "It could happen to you," as if it's chance of happening is not likely but important to be aware of anyway on the off chance that it does.

To the contrary, I think it probably happens to all of us at least semi-regularly. In my estimation, it's been happening to me since I went through puberty. Even in sixth grade, I'd have Disney movie fantasies about those cute girls in my class.

To those it doesn't happen to it's probably because they've spent a long time, likely years, suppressing that reflexive mode of thinking we're prone to upon seeing a girl whose beauty strikes us in that Disney-fantasy kind of way. Either that, or they're naturals that never unconsciously desired companionship from women, which I believe is a necessary ingredient to this instant infatuation you are describing. Only sine I've been exposed to red pill thinking, about two years ago, can I consciously suppress this way of thinking whenever it springs up. It takes work, but at least now I can catch myself.

Pardon my ambiguity. I wasn't in the best mental state when I started this thread.

For the sake of brevity: to me it is a rather rare encounter; my ex was Mexican Japanese, imagine my surprise or rather horror when I bumped into her doopleganger.

Post: #19

(01-05-2015 03:22 AM)Suits Wrote:  We need to talk about your titling choices.

Pray tell

Post: #20

(01-04-2015 07:00 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

(01-03-2015 08:48 AM)Agreddor Wrote:  I felt like i was 13 again today. Remember when you were a teenager. Hell, in your blue-pill days when you crushed on a girl and were petrified at the thought of talking to her. Those butterflies came back today.

That sounds great-feeling alive.

The idea that's "smart" and "red pill" to not be excited about a girl seems like a deadening worldview.

The trade off between having "The feels" and being stoic.