Post: #1

To give you a little background, I’m in my late 20s. I have a college degree, a job in my field and I make a middle class wage. I’m tall, fit and attractive. Many people have told me that I’m funny, witty and intelligent. However, I lack a social life. I have less than 10 friends scattered throughout the country (I live in the U.S., if that matters), but only one of them lives close by and I hang out with him once every few weeks at most. When we do hang out, we either go out to eat or watch a movie. When I’m not at work, I sit inside my room watching movies and TV shows, listening to music, browsing the internet, and rarely playing video games. I don’t have any interesting hobbies that involve me getting outside of the house. I’m extremely introverted and it’s just my personality, so I don’t want to get out there and meet new people. I’ve tried, and I wasn’t happy at all; it’s just not my thing.

I’ve recently joined okcupid.com and I’m practicing my online dating skills, trying to see what works well and what doesn’t and getting a feel for online dating in general. The messages that I send out are witty. I keep things light and funny. I get a decent response rate, and the women who I message are usually average-looking and they are in their late 20s to mid 30s. The first 2 messages of mine get a good response rate, but after my third message, women stop responding.

This is my third message:

“How was your weekend? My weekend was beyond exciting. I put on my super hero cape and fought crime. Okay, no, I didn’t. I just stayed inside and watched a few movies and caught up on season 4 of Homeland (you should watch it if you haven’t already; it’s one of the best TV shows ever). I’m quite the introvert, so most of my weekends are spent by myself; I hang out with my friends once every few weeks at most. Usually weekends are spent watching movies and TV shows. I’m also addicted to reddit.

Speaking of super heroes, if you could be a super hero, what would your super powers be and what would you wear? I’d be like Professor X in X-Men and I would read people’s minds, which would make it very easy to fight crime. All I’d have to do is scan people’s minds and find out who is committing crimes at the moment. I’d wear my regular clothes to blend in.”

My question has to do specifically with women who I initially meet on online dating websites, not women who I initially meet in real life.

Is the reason why they stopped responding because I stay inside in my free time and I lack social status?

Women will eventually ask about it, so what do I say about my lack of social life? Do I put a positive spin on it? What if they ask me what I did over the weekend? What if they ask me what I like to do for fun?

When should I reveal my lack of social life? When I am still messaging her on okcupid? On the first phone call? On the first date? Will my lack of social life be a dealbreaker for most women or will most women not mind? I don’t message hot women; the women who I message are mostly average-looking, but they all have a social life.

Post: #2

(11-25-2014 09:35 PM)h5757 Wrote:  To give you a little background, I’m in my late 20s. I have a college degree, a job in my field and I make a middle class wage. I’m tall, fit and attractive. Many people have told me that I’m funny, witty and intelligent. However, I lack a social life. I have less than 10 friends scattered throughout the country (I live in the U.S., if that matters), but only one of them lives close by and I hang out with him once every few weeks at most. When we do hang out, we either go out to eat or watch a movie. When I’m not at work, I sit inside my room watching movies and TV shows, listening to music, browsing the internet, and rarely playing video games. I don’t have any interesting hobbies that involve me getting outside of the house. I’m extremely introverted and it’s just my personality, so I don’t want to get out there and meet new people. I’ve tried, and I wasn’t happy at all; it’s just not my thing.

Having a lack of friends only bothers womens if a) it bothers you, and b) it makes you needy. If it bothers you, then go out and join some groups and find friends. Easier said than done, but you will progress a lot during the process.

Quote:“How was your weekend? My weekend was beyond exciting. I put on my super hero cape and fought crime. Okay, no, I didn’t. I just stayed inside and watched a few movies and caught up on season 4 of Homeland (you should watch it if you haven’t already; it’s one of the best TV shows ever). I’m quite the introvert, so most of my weekends are spent by myself; I hang out with my friends once every few weeks at most. Usually weekends are spent watching movies and TV shows. I’m also addicted to reddit.

too try-hard, too much about yourself. Keep it short & simple. And keep the nerd shit to a minimum (reddit?!?).

Post: #3

I'd look into joining a beer league sports team, not only is it exercise you can potentially meet some new friends to socialize with.

Post: #4

If you don't want or think that you need to actually make more friends of have more of a social life, you'll need to lie to girls who seem to care. I know how you feel, I'm introverted and don't like meeting groups of friends or colleagues very often and prefer to have only a few friends that I meet up with.

If she really presses into what did you do last weekend or if you meet her out and she asks where your friends are, just lie.

Post: #5

You are shooting yourself in the foot with both the introvert and super hero analogies.

You are talking about your introversion like its a handicap, try this instead (also an introvert)

"How was your weekend? Mine was great, I took some time to be lazy and recharge from the week. Sometimes I just need a break from 'be here, go there, visit this guy, have brunch with that girl' and like to just chill, watch netflix. It would be perfect if I could just clap my hands and have beer or pizza arrive at my door and then I wouldn't even have to put pants on"

This puts it into a humorous, self deprecating prespective and provides her with an opener to be the one to bring you pizza or beer or make an innuendo about not wearing pants

Post: #6

Don't make something simple difficult. Simply lie. I don't understand people who want to be honest with bitches. Just tell her what she wants to hear because sloots gonna sloot.

Post: #7

Holy shit dont tell a girl you use reddit.

Post: #8

(11-25-2014 09:56 PM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  You are shooting yourself in the foot with both the introvert and super hero analogies.

You are talking about your introversion like its a handicap, try this instead (also an introvert)

"How was your weekend? Mine was great, I took some time to be lazy and recharge from the week. Sometimes I just need a break from 'be here, go there, visit this guy, have brunch with that girl' and like to just chill, watch netflix. It would be perfect if I could just clap my hands and have beer or pizza arrive at my door and then I wouldn't even have to put pants on"

This puts it into a humorous, self deprecating prespective and provides her with an opener to be the one to bring you pizza or beer or make an innuendo about not wearing pants

This is a good third message to send that paints a picture of you without making you send like a basement-dweller.

(11-26-2014 12:04 AM)enderilluminatus Wrote:  Holy shit dont tell a girl you use reddit.

Seriously, why? Have you read Bang? Have you read any game literature?

Mystery is one of the key elements to seduction. You don't want to expose everything about yourself immediately. Give her a taste of who you are that will have her coming back for more.

As far as your social life goes...fuck it. Learn how to entertain yourself. Figure out what kind of life YOU want to have and chase it. If a guy is interesting, sexy, and appealing, girls will not care if you don't have a huge social life, as long as you play your cards right. I'll leave with this:

https://twitter.com/MichaelPorfirio/stat...8908572672

Post: #9

Like you, I don't have much friends.
But I don't want to, I love to be by myself, so I enjoy this.
If you do, don't change your lifestyle.

When a woman asks me about my social life, I use this answer.
I pretend to hesitate for a few seconds, like if I was judging the effects of my sentence on her, then add:
"I have friends, but I don't see them in groups; you see I remained friend with ex-girlfriends, would be awkward if they all met".

This way, she won't bug me about meeting my "friends" and I can use this excuse anytime, when I'm tired of her shit and don't want to see her.

Post: #10

Your problem is not that you're introverted, but that you're not confident about it.

I recommend entirely switching your angle and going with short and mysterious. Dumping contents of your entire weekend in the first message should be done only if your weekend has truly been memorable and earthshaking, and of course true. Trying to spin "just relaxed for 48 hours" into some sort of awesomeness will inevitably seem fake. So don't do it.

Bonus tip: if you're afraid your alone time will be perceived in a negative way, take up a lonely hobby like meditation or origami. Then your time alone will look like that of a productive artist rather than just a shy person or someone who doesn't enjoy socializing.

Post: #11

First of all read the OKCupid thread; judging by that message your online game is cringeworthy.

If you're introverted and don't like a lot of socializing , learn how to play sexy, mysterious guy game.

Stop consuming so much passive media and use the time instead to learn skills and do manly hobbies.

And get the fuck off Reddit

Post: #12

Your third message reflects self deprecation without humor. You're just putting yourself down. And girls see through that shit.

It sounds like the bigger problem is that you don't find yourself interesting. I know you don't want to but why keep yourself away from experiences outside of your room?

Most of us here were uncomfortable at some point and then again and again until it started to become comfortable and enjoyable. Being good at something is about being uncomfortable but doing it anyways because you know the prize is going to be sweet.

Okcupid and an inactive social life will only get you so far but I think you knew that.

Post: #13

(11-25-2014 09:35 PM)h5757 Wrote:  When I’m not at work, I sit inside my room watching movies and TV shows, listening to music, browsing the internet, and rarely playing video games.

You have been given enough advice about the rest. Above statement caught my eye the most.

If I were you I'd try to be more productive with my time. Not for me or this forum, but for you. It's a good idea to work on self-improvement. Think about starting a business, go to the gym, pick up a course in your field, ride a motorcycle, rebuild your appartment to a pimp pad....whatever. I refuse to believe that you do not have other interests. It would be a waste to see a guy like you not develop himself.

Post: #14

You say that you are introverted, watch a lot of TV in the weekends and then you ask super heroe questions.

Girls will assume that you are a nerd with no life who gets his kicks out of super heroes.

Post: #15

(11-25-2014 09:35 PM)h5757 Wrote:  To give you a little background, I’m in my late 20s. I have a college degree, a job in my field and I make a middle class wage. I’m tall, fit and attractive. Many people have told me that I’m funny, witty and intelligent. However, I lack a social life. I have less than 10 friends scattered throughout the country (I live in the U.S., if that matters), but only one of them lives close by and I hang out with him once every few weeks at most. When we do hang out, we either go out to eat or watch a movie. When I’m not at work, I sit inside my room watching movies and TV shows, listening to music, browsing the internet, and rarely playing video games. I don’t have any interesting hobbies that involve me getting outside of the house. I’m extremely introverted and it’s just my personality, so I don’t want to get out there and meet new people. I’ve tried, and I wasn’t happy at all; it’s just not my thing.

I was in the EXACT same scenario a year ago, now I'm at the 20 mark and I've learned to embrace the introversion. Introverts have an advantage in that in their alone time, they can be hyper-productive. You'll find that once you go on hiatus from society for a while for self-improvement, people obsess upon your return as a jack-of-all-trades.

- Mysterious, lone-wolf sniper game is deadly. Combine that with a dark witty humor and a unique wardrobe. Why do you think all Bond girls start off the movie in the harem of the villain? All the women I've gamed who have seen The Avengers, all obsess over Loki, not Thor ( who is objectively handsomer, he was just dubbed "Sexiest Man Alive").

-You can easily tackle learning a new language, imagine busting out French/Italian while gaming, romantic languages will ensure tingles.

- You are lucky just to have ONE FRIEND in this world who cares about you. In this modern era where people have hundreds of digital friends, having just one person who is genuine is already awesome.

- 80% of the world is useless to you, unless you have to tolerate them as a entrepreneur.

- There are introverted activities that help you meet others of similar intelligence: weightlifting, martial arts, boxing, hiking, music, meditation, chess, travel, blacksmithing, woodworking and reading.


I've found that that this combination will work in two ways:

- Bad Boy... Lone Wolf... Villain: Self explanatory

- "Pretend Beta"/"I'm an ideal partner for settling down": Sniper/introverted game means she isn't going to disqualify you into the "PUA Zone" or "Friend Zone". Meditation/Inner satisfaction means that she feels safe/stimulated by your superior intelligence. Finally, metal-working and wood-working have worked for me. Why?

Woodworking/Metal-working = Furniture = Home = Domesticated = Commitment. Women's brain make very simple and primal associations.
You better get good at it too because the two of you might break that homemade bed-frame.

Post: #16

(11-26-2014 02:46 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  Your problem is not that you're introverted, but that you're not confident about it.

I recommend entirely switching your angle and going with short and mysterious. Dumping contents of your entire weekend in the first message should be done only if your weekend has truly been memorable and earthshaking, and of course true. Trying to spin "just relaxed for 48 hours" into some sort of awesomeness will inevitably seem fake. So don't do it.

Bonus tip: if you're afraid your alone time will be perceived in a negative way, take up a lonely hobby like meditation or origami. Then your time alone will look like that of a productive artist rather than just a shy person or someone who doesn't enjoy socializing.

For me this introverted hobby is hiking. If I tell a girl I spent my weekend hiking they will ask no questions or might even ask to see pictures. If I said "I walked around in the woods by myself all day and played video games and read comic books at night. I don't think I said an actual word to anyone for 48 hours" that girl would think I am a potential mass murderer.

Post: #17

(11-25-2014 09:50 PM)Sidney Crosby Wrote:  I'd look into joining a beer league sports team, not only is it exercise you can potentially meet some new friends to socialize with.

I agree. I just moved to a new town where I knew no one. Beer leagues are a good way to be less introverted and at least make some drinking buddies. I'm somewhat of an introvert myself, but in my early to mid 20's I made myself more extroverted, got to the point where I could charm groups of strangers, and talk about a range of interesting things, etc.

Being able to get out of your introverted shell and charm people will not only help you with girls, it will improve your live in many different ways.

Post: #18

No need to bring up your introversion. Let her discover it on her own.

It will take time, and you'll just be a mystery to her for a while. This is good.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #19

As said before, it will only bother women if it bothers you. I don't really have many friends since I am a solo kind of guy.

I do have hobbies and work out so I am not needy. I just live life.

Worst case scenario you can just lie.

Post: #20

Be who you are man. Own up to the type of life you live with yourself and with the girls. Like Beyond Borders said let her discover it as she is peeling away at your shell. Maintain your mystery which men like us are good at.

I'm very introverted myself and have never enjoyed large social gatherings or kept big networks of friends. I have four close friends back in the states and that's it. When this topic eventually comes up women I tell them straight up I'm a quiet man who enjoys my solitude and freedom to do as I please, and that I'm choosy about who I keep in my life. All true, and without shame. If they have a problem with that, in my opinion they want you to be a source of entertainment. Fuck that.

Post: #21

Thanks for all the responses. I completely agree with everyone here who mentioned I revealed too much information. I definitely should leave more mystery.

I’ll give you guys some more information about myself that I might be able to tell women to avoid making me look like a hermit. So aside from listening to music and watching movies and tv shows, I also enjoy going for walks alone and rarely go for hikes alone. I’ve occasionally played ping pong and pool and I enjoy both, but I’m not good at it. I’ve also gone to a few art museums in the past few years and I loved them. When I’m with my friends, we either go out to eat or we go to the movie theater.

Also, actually 4 of the women responded (they responded the next day), 3 of them I’m still in contact with (over a week now), and one of them stopped talking to me, but there was never much chemistry with her to begin with. Out of the 3 who I’m still talking to, 2 of them are very social and one of them is very introverted. One of the women who is very social told me that I don’t come off as an introvert at all.

How should she ideally find out about my introversion so that she won’t be turned off? One of you mentioned that she should find out on her own. How does that work?

But what if a woman asks you how you spend your time? One woman said something along the lines of “how do you spend your days/nights?”. If a woman just bluntly asks me what I do in my free time, how should I respond?

Based on all that information in my second paragraph (my interests, what I do with my friends), what should I tell the woman when she bluntly asks me what I do in my free time? Or what my interests and hobbies are?

Also, I don’t want to lie and say that I have a social life because I’m looking for women who are okay with dating introverted guys. I want them to find out that I’m introverted eventually.

Post: #22

I think you're making a bigger issue out of this then it is. Girls are very perceptive of personality types; if she is meeting you on a date she will probably know that you are an introvert before you attempt to explain it. Either way there is no need, she will figure it out on her own if it gets to that point.

It seems like you feel like you have an obligation to explain all of your faults to a girl up front, but that is just not how you succeed in dating. Similar to negotiations, you want to present the best version of yourself without saying anything that is 100% untrue. There is no harm in half truths or exaggerations as long as you feel comfortable about it. The thing is if relations with the girl progress to the point where she discovers an exaggeration, hopefully you have already banged and/or she is already attracted enough to your positive qualities that she will barely raise an eyebrow.

In short, do not approach this too 'earnestly'.

If she asks about your hobbies feel free to be vague or make a joke. Most women are so narcissistic that asking you is just a way for them to talk more about their own hobbies.

Finally, introversion is not automatically unattractive. Most people are somewhere in between the two polarities. Lots of women actually like pretending to be "geeks" and introverts. You should absolutely pick one interesting hobby for your free time and one club/group activity that isn't too extreme for you but allows you to test the waters. Martial arts are great because not a whole lot of conversation is required but as you start getting comfortable it's actually hard not to make friends. If you continue only doing solo activities though, you will become more isolated.

Are you sure that when you call yourself introverted you're not referring to social anxiety? Introverted people can be social and outgoing, the explicit difference between them and extroverts is that social interaction drains their energy and they recharge through alone time.

Post: #23

Genre: Informal
Female = 719
Male = 476
Difference = -243; 39.83%
Verdict: FEMALE

Genre: Formal
Female = 745
Male = 621
Difference = -124; 45.46%
Verdict: Weak FEMALE

Weak emphasis could indicate European.

Guys you are getting trolled
Its clearly a fat and ugly girl writing

Post: #24

Are you being serious? Look at my previous threads/posts. I’ve been a member for at least a few years, I think. Also, why would a fat and ugly girl post a thread like this? I honestly don't know whether you're joking or not...

Post: #25

A hot girl wouldnt spend her time trolling manosphere. If you're not a fugly creative writing radfem the gender writing analyser pegs you as one. Idk man. Read Bang and Krausers daygame stuff and go approach. Cause neither writing nor reading these novellas gets anyone closer to pussy. I.e. tldr: tldr