Post: #1

I just came back from Poland (original country) after being there for over a month. I had a good time and worked on my game whilst putting it to practice. With my ability to speak both languages and foreigner status my confidence was at an all time high and I approached many women on the street/bus and had conversations with random people. Now I am back in London and I dont feel like the shit anymore, I went out daygaming with a wingman and couldnt approach any girl, I only made one approach which was lousy and overall I find it way harder to approach in the UK. How do I overcome this lack of confidence and pick up girls like when I was feeling like the man in Poland?

Post: #2

It's sometimes easier to game outside your hometown/country because travel generally make people more spontaneous and extroverted, so if you're a confident person with descent game you can do wonders. But it can also be the other way around.

I have the same issue at home (France) but after some reading, rationalizing and introspection I found that it come down to a few things: My SMV, and the level of game I think is required to get the chicks. Even so nothing stop me from trying isn't it?

The way you felt in Poland is how you should feel at home, period. That's your comfort zone. But you should also work on being that way everywhere. You're more comfortable with the inner working of Polish girls than UK girls.

I'll advise you to think about what make a difference between the Polish girls and the London gals, identify these differences to see what make you get clumsy. There is a good chance that you're simply mentally blocking yourself because if your UK game isn't tuned enough it can be adjusted and the differences in Women behavior shouldn't impact your confidence that much.

Post: #3

Welcome back to reality, you just have to make it work. The Uk is not Poland and it will never be. Since you have to live in the UK you'll have to make it work. So here's my time-tested strategy that works 92% of the time.

Look in mirror, pound your chest like a gorilla and yell, "IM THE FUCKING MAN".

Then go out and approach 3 girls.

Post your results.

Post: #4

Yes this is common.

The point is to always focus on the process. You'll realize this perspective is a solid foundation because it'll always keep you sharp.

You won't get too high of an ego when you're in a favorable territory or too down when you're in unfavorable territory.

I was killing it outside the US, but now I'm back I also faced similar challenges + thoughts. I don't use it as an excuse, I simply adapt and do the necessary steps in the cold approach to keep improving.

Because I may travel out of the US again and I know my improved game will help wherever I go.

Post: #5

Guys thank you for all the advice but I take this post back, spent all day at the park yesterday and approached a dozen girls and got some of them to play football with me. I just told myslef im the man and now they are messaging me saying they wanna meet so I have two dates lined up so after all maybe the UK's not that bad..

Post: #6

Dude

Notice that confidence is emotion-based. Emotions are volatile.
There will be days when you feel off, and day you feel on. It happens.

Good luck with the dates.

Post: #7

The male brain took the words right out of my mouth. Confidence (as you understand it, now) is an emotion, emotions are non static. Confidence and Alphatude are often situational. Rely less on your environment to draw your confidence from. As you get older and get a handle on yourself more, as you learn more things about yourself, the world, and your place in it, you will find yourself growing more of a quiet confidence and assurance. That's more lasting confidence.

Post: #8

There is no such thing as an 'off' day. Putin put it best when he said 'I don't have bad days because I am not a woman'.

The reason for your problem, it appears to me, is that you are looking for validation from women. If you learn to enjoy talking to all types of people, wherever the opportunity presents, you will find that you put much less stock in the outcome of talking to a given woman. Doing this will make you a much better conversationalist - funnier, more engaging, warmer, and more human.

The reason for this is that it becomes a source of personal pleasure simply to converse, and be witty, charming, or whatever for your own amusement and enjoyment. It also becomes a way of life, and removes this over dependency on female validation. Once it becomes a natural part of the way you live to strike up a conversation with those around you, and to charm them, it will be completely congruent when you do that with a pretty girl. Living a happy life that is successful in every avenue is all about congruence. It also has the added advantage of helping you avoid the ridiculous situation of looking for approval from such severely limited creatures.

Post: #9

^I like that Putin quote, you are right, I am looking for validation from women even though that's not what im actively thinking. I think this comes from the fact ive come from getting no attention from girls (and acting beta) for most of my life, except from the last 2 years where ive matured a bit more and am starting to grasp the game. Now I feel like my game depends mostly on external factors but like you say I need to change that.