Post: #51

^ and if the girl then turns around and makes the same statement? I'm assuming you would then give an indication of compliance, but carry on spinning plates as per normal (I know that's what I've done in the past when the proposal of exclusivity has been made).

Personally, I wouldn't ever put this on a girl, but rather, let them be the ones to come to you to strike the deal. Otherwise, you're setting a tenuous boundary (and highlighting an anti-abundance mentality) that is more than likely going to be crossed or may have already been crossed.

Post: #52

Sounds like you will be alright given the follow-up.

But I'm still going to say what everyone else says here again.

Don't be the one to ask for exclusivity, because if have to ask for it, then you probably don't have it. And if you do have it, then asking only hurts your position.

If you doubt her exclusivity, it's because she isn't. In other words...

Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt



So why ask?

Post: #53

(11-12-2014 12:32 AM)Windom Earle Wrote:  ^ and if the girl then turns around and makes the same statement? I'm assuming you would then give an indication of compliance, but carry on spinning plates as per normal (I know that's what I've done in the past when the proposal of exclusivity has been made).

Personally, I wouldn't ever put this on a girl, but rather, let them be the ones to come to you to strike the deal. Otherwise, you're setting a tenuous boundary (and highlighting an anti-abundance mentality) that is more than likely going to be crossed or may have already been crossed.

Are you addressing my post? If so I can honestly tell you that not since I was in my early to mid 20's (I'm now 42) has a chick asked me for a reciprocal response. That's the point...I don't ask what they want in this regard...I tell them what I want/expect. It's the true beauty (and point) of not giving a shit. Of course the rub is you don't get to give a shit...but that's the "benefit of the bargain".

Post: #54

see findings below. i'd say radio silence. if she makes an effort good, if not next her.

this should be in the newbie section.

(11-10-2014 09:51 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  It seems like I've got off on the wrong foot in this new relationship and I worry that I like her more than she likes me (and that we both know it). I'm the one who asked to go exclusive [mistake #1] (even though I was banging 3 other girls and she was likely seeing only me), so I've already made way more of a sacrifice, etc. She kind of negged me a bit when I asked to go exclusive by saying "don't you know by not I'm not the type of girl who would be sleeping with multiple guys?", etc. I also texted her "first" last night [mistake#2] (to say 'good night, sexy') and then this morning [mistake #3] (to show her my kale juice). She took 4 hours to reply to the juice text this AM.[proof for mistake #3]

Last night we had a misunderstanding about which I was right and she was wrong. She admitted as much via text but hasn't honored my request to "call me when you're off work". I am pretty sure she's been off work for a couple of hours and yet nothing [result #1]. I am struggling how to show my displeasure or annoyance without seeming butthurt. Radio silence is my only real idea.[a good one]

Basically I suppose I should initiate hard core silence and delayed text responses and then just be as alpha as possible when I see her next. But I'm worried that this isn't getting off to a flying start - this is my first relationship in over 3 years and I have been tearing up the dating scene. I waited for a girl of this caliber and was proud to have "snared" her - she's definitely relationship material[this reeks of oneitis, you have to be willing to next her at any given moment] - except for the way that I'm allowing her to behave.

Any advice/links appreciated

Post: #55

(11-11-2014 08:51 AM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  radio silence already paying off - she texted me first thing this AM apologizing for being "preoccupied with work". I'm going to reply after 1PM that it sounds like we both need drinks tonight and then will fuck her hard. Might be a good spot to raw dog her for the first time.

I'm curious if this raw dog session ever went down?

Post: #56

It did not go down (not raw dog) and things aren't any better.

I'm seeing her / fucking her tonight and will be as alpha as I can but I think it's toast.

If I still want to keep seeing her should I consider telling her that I want to date other girls, or specifically that I want to "fuck other girls again because this doesn't feel like a meaningful relationship"? Or should I just start dating the other girls again and not tell this bitch?

Post: #57

(11-10-2014 10:58 PM)Laner Wrote:  I am sure most guys can relate to that. To tell a guy "why you want a GF?" or "just be alpha and she will chase you" are mostly full of shit.

Good relationship type women are hard to find. We think the women who are thin, pretty and young are in demand, well just add in that they are also wholesome and family orientated as well and she is damn unicorn.

But we know they are out there. She already scared the piss out of you, as most guys are not used to seeing unicorns.

What you need to run now is some beta game to be sure that you have another night out with her. You just need to keep seeing her out just the two of you. Then run standard game but while dropping hints of long term thinker.

Most of the women in my massive family fall into the category you are talking about. They want marriage and kids and to be a housewife at a young age, but are also going to college and "dating" as well as thats the world we live in.

If you are chasing the lay, then just walk away now. But if you are already feeling the way you are then double down son.

But she isn't a unicorn?

If she is flaking his texts this early then she knows the window of opportunity he has left till she jumps ship.

Post: #58

(11-15-2014 01:01 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  It did not go down (not raw dog) and things aren't any better.

I'm seeing her / fucking her tonight and will be as alpha as I can but I think it's toast.

If I still want to keep seeing her should I consider telling her that I want to date other girls, or specifically that I want to "fuck other girls again because this doesn't feel like a meaningful relationship"? Or should I just start dating the other girls again and not tell this bitch?

I think we need to know more about why you think the relationship is toast?

Why doesn't it feel meaningful to you?

The more she senses you are independent of her, the more she will try to make you dependent on her.

The more she senses you aren't hooked, she will try to hook you.

You don't need to say anything to her about seeing other people. If she senses you could take her or leave her, it should be all that's necessary. I think your desire to say that might come from wanting to force her to get with the program, but I think that would backfire as it would come of as needy.

Just have fun with her, like she's a flower you picked that's beautiful and smells great now, but will wither and die away soon. The more she senses your just having fun and not taking it all so seriously, the more she may want you to start taking her and the relationship seriously.

Post: #59

I wrote about this recently, in the end, you're going do poorly with women if you allow the game you play with them to make you become an actor who's playing a role instead of a man who's just living his life.

Your act is that you're a player, you put it on display for women and it helps you get pussy, but your real you is not a player as evidenced by how you've allowed yourself to get put in a bag via this relationship.

It's time to make a decision, either you want to be a player or you want to be someone's man, this half-in, half-out shit is for the females.

Post: #60

^^i think this is an excellent point and I really believe his is true. Question is. How do you make this transformation? Is this a fake it till you make it kind of thing? Is it some kind of epiffany that just happens? How are you reprogramming yourself for this?

Post: #61

(11-11-2014 08:16 AM)bojangles Wrote:  You're too outcome dependent.

It's like that newbie who daygames and hits on a lot of girls, has 5 numbers but thinks one of those is strong and concentrates on that, his whole 'game success' seems outcome dependent on being successful with that one girl.

Turn off your phone, play videogames, go to the gym, go for a walk, watch a cool movie. Forget you have a 'gf' for a second.

In all honesty you were on the backfoot once you told her you wanted to be 'exclusive'. If you wanted her to be your girlfriend, you could have done it without even telling her.

This is so true. So I'll emphasize it again like others have in the thread.

I think you lost the battle already before it was fought by being the one asking for the relationship and making all these sacrifices (like ditching the harem) before you had even gone a day in the relationship. And now she knows it. I've done this one time and in retrospect it was dead from the get-go.

She also seems to be reveling in the role of the controller, probably due to reading Cosmo or some Feminist bs or bc her friends told her how to "handle a man", as opposed to actually really liking you in a nurturing, feminine way and just going with it. Screw that.

You also seem to have gotten into this way too soon (two months of seeing her!) and I think some of this might be you just getting tired of gaming all these girls and wanting this all to be easier, to have someone "reliable" etc. and also this particular girl fitting a "profile", as opposed to her really be this super special snowflake you've discovered.

But I don't think you need to blow it all up - u just need to stop caring, re-gaine your frame (which you can control!) and see if she falls back into line into a person who wants to truly be with you. It's doubtful she will though, so be ready to move on, even if you haven't done anything about it yet. Basically she's on probation now but likely to get the full ban given how it's gone. But you sure as hell should not be warning her of this or treating her all that much differently on the whole.

(11-15-2014 06:42 PM)jariel Wrote:  I wrote about this recently, in the end, you're going do poorly with women if you allow the game you play with them to make you become an actor who's playing a role instead of a man who's just living his life.

Your act is that you're a player, you put it on display for women and it helps you get pussy, but your real you is not a player as evidenced by how you've allowed yourself to get put in a bag via this relationship.

It's time to make a decision, either you want to be a player or you want to be someone's man, this half-in, half-out shit is for the females.

Bolded for emphasis.

Post: #62

Just to update - still with this chick - probably the best GF I've had. She works insane hours which is why she had been acting distant. It took me a while to grasp that but literally 100+ hour weeks are the norm in her field from time to time.

I did the Heartiste "Wait for her to say 'I love you' first" thing and upped my alpha behavior/teasing and made sure that I followed the 2/3rds communication rools, upped my aloof/indifferent, etc.

She busted out the "I love you" right after 3 months and we've had no major issues since this tread.

Thanks for the input , fellow swaggy bros. I definitely made some mistakes that made it tougher at the outset (me asking her to go exclusive, me acting too clingy, etc.) but I was able to recover within a couple of weeks. Hand recovered and I'm wary about ceding too much hand presently and in the future.

Post: #63

(02-24-2015 05:07 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  Just to update - still with this chick - probably the best GF I've had. She works insane hours which is why she had been acting distant. It took me a while to grasp that but literally 100+ hour weeks are the norm in her field from time to time.

I did the Heartiste "Wait for her to say 'I love you' first" thing and upped my alpha behavior/teasing and made sure that I followed the 2/3rds communication rools, upped my aloof/indifferent, etc.

She busted out the "I love you" right after 3 months and we've had no major issues since this tread.

Thanks for the input , fellow swaggy bros. I definitely made some mistakes that made it tougher at the outset (me asking her to go exclusive, me acting too clingy, etc.) but I was able to recover within a couple of weeks. Hand recovered and I'm wary about ceding too much hand presently and in the future.

Good stuff, funny you mention this, just happened to me last night:

/thread-24128-...#pid965490

Post: #64

I'm very glad to hear you got your game back on point OP. A hard won turn of events such as this gives me hope.

(11-10-2014 10:58 PM)Laner Wrote:  Good relationship type women are hard to find. We think the women who are thin, pretty and young are in demand, well just add in that they are also wholesome and family orientated as well and she is damn unicorn.

Finding a unicorn these days is rare as rocking horse shit. Keeping your own emotions in check, and hers on tingle...this is relationship game played at the highest level.

I'd been shacked up with a unicorn myself this past couple months. Initially had a strong hand, but I overplayed it by moving in together too soon, and inadvertently forcing her to make some tough life decisions she wasn't ready to make. I felt myself loosing frame. She started to pull away ever so slightly. I called her bluff, and I told her I wanted to separate. I had figured a few days apart would have her running back to me, but that didn't happen. It only solidified the ending. In life, the decisions we make are made because they seem like the best ones at the time.

Those past months together were the happiest I've felt in a long time. Loosing her has been an epic heartbreak. I guess the point of me sharing this story, is if you've got something worth fighting for, fight for it. And by fight, I mean bring your A game everyday, until she's the one who says "I love you" first. It's the only way.

Post: #65

The best girlfriend you ever had still doesn't rule out the best side chicken you've ever banged

Post: #66

Why didn't you let her bring up exclusivity first? If she's playing games, just outwait her while continuing doing your own thing, enjoying other girls. When you really actually do have more than one girl in your life, they will sense it. And whoever wants it more will go for it. That's the girl you want, not the one who waited too long.

You want the girl who cares less about holding the upper hand than the other.

Post: #67

(02-24-2015 05:07 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  Just to update - still with this chick - probably the best GF I've had. She works insane hours which is why she had been acting distant. It took me a while to grasp that but literally 100+ hour weeks are the norm in her field from time to time.

I did the Heartiste "Wait for her to say 'I love you' first" thing and upped my alpha behavior/teasing and made sure that I followed the 2/3rds communication rools, upped my aloof/indifferent, etc.

She busted out the "I love you" right after 3 months and we've had no major issues since this tread.

Thanks for the input , fellow swaggy bros. I definitely made some mistakes that made it tougher at the outset (me asking her to go exclusive, me acting too clingy, etc.) but I was able to recover within a couple of weeks. Hand recovered and I'm wary about ceding too much hand presently and in the future.

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Post: #68

(02-24-2015 11:10 PM)CactusCat589 Wrote:  Why didn't you let her bring up exclusivity first? If she's playing games, just outwait her while continuing doing your own thing, enjoying other girls. When you really actually do have more than one girl in your life, they will sense it. And whoever wants it more will go for it. That's the girl you want, not the one who waited too long.

You want the girl who cares less about holding the upper hand than the other.

My money is on his ego, fearing that she could be fucking other guys and he couldn't handle it. He wanted her all for himself.

Just speculation of course.

It's funny, in these situations, you get blinded and give other guys too much credit or discredit your game too much.

Post: #69

Yes this frame blows/sucks and if you continue on without some sort of dramatic recquisitioning of the power dynamic you'll never recover. I haven't read any of the replies I'm not sure where things now stand but I would simply send her, "This isn't working" and then not talk to her for a couple days. If it was me I could ride the whole wave and manage it, but for dudes still getting used to these male/female dynamics I just tell them to ignore for a couple days. She might say some cray cray shit that really riles you up, call you all sorts of names and accuse you of all kinds of shit, but you just ignore. (Actually if that happens post it on here I'll help ya out with it.)

Post: #70

Derp.. never mind, lol.

Post: #71

(11-10-2014 10:18 PM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  Off the top of my head, I'd send a follow-up text along these lines:

"You think it's all roses, but I'm going to beat you like Chris Brown for this."

0 to 100 real quick. High risk, high reward, love it lol.

Post: #72

Cactus wrote some wisdom.

I strongly believe girls that don't ask to exclusive with 3 months max and don't say I love you within 6 months are not worth your time long term.

They think they can do better or are too damaged and insecure to form a solid relationship.

Post: #73

I reckon you fucked up by asking her to be exclusive.

Everyone's different and you know what you like and don't like better than anyone else, and I respect that.

But in my experience there's no need to be 'exclusive' with a girl to get any of the supposed benefits of exclusivity.

Being together doesn't guarantee that she won't fuck other guys.

The most you can do is be her best option and get her to fall in love with you and so addicted to your cock that she doesn't feel like fucking other guys...for a while.

Exclusivity also adds all kinds of feelings of obligation and hidden resentments.

And crucially, it's bad for your mojo!

Fucking a lot of new chicks is mojoline; it fuels your masculine vibe.

Why would you want to cut that off?

Because when things go south with this girl you'll be coming back into the game feeling retarded.

Player skills aren't like riding a bicycle.

They're like lifting weights.

You stop; you get weak.

And then coming back is harder than you remember it.

From the girl's POV, a chick needs to feel that her man is desired by other women.

She needs to feel some mystery and challenge like "why can't he just be with ME?"

I just don't see any benefit in exclusivity whatsoever.

You wrote that you feel like she has the upper hand.

Of course she does!

You gave it to her by ceding your freedom in order to just be with her.

And now, judging by your American flag there, she's bored.

"Sigh...another sucker wrapped around my finger. I wonder if there are any hot guys on Tinder right now...?"

4 hours later you get your text response.

A riddle for you: how do you get out of a rear naked choke?

You tap (or go to sleep). Because you fucked up long ago.

Likewise, I believe it's better to scrap the whole thing and start over (not even joking).

Post: #74

^ Go back and read OP's update. He tightened the leaks in his game, and has got her on lockdown now.

(02-25-2015 02:21 PM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  Fucking a lot of new chicks is mojoline; it fuels your masculine vibe.

Why would you want to cut that off?

Because the dude has a unicorn on lock. When 1 woman has everything you want, there's no interest in a side piece.

Trying to force yourself back into game mode while in the midst of hardcore pair bonding, however practical, isn't realistic.

Post: #75

(02-25-2015 03:13 PM)Courage Reborn Wrote:  ^ Go back and read OP's update. He tightened the leaks in his game, and has got her on lockdown now.

(02-25-2015 02:21 PM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  Fucking a lot of new chicks is mojoline; it fuels your masculine vibe.

Why would you want to cut that off?

Because the dude has a unicorn on lock. When 1 woman has everything you want, there's no interest in a side piece.

Trying to force yourself back into game mode while in the midst of hardcore pair bonding, however practical, isn't realistic.

There should be level of charm for other women that never goes away. That swagger from a knowing look, the feeling of having a woman crane her neck to get a better look at you, being able to talk to a beautiful woman without being inside your head.....

These are all things that atrophy when the mentality becomes about her because of her special status among women. And its great to brag about her to other men.

We all know women say and do things in complete contrast to each other. They say one thing, but respond to another. Game 101.

So by changing your personality from when you met, to when you become 'exclusive' to when you are in love, if every step of the way a man is bending to her wishes, the relationship is doomed.

Women always say they want a man to change. Until he does. Then they say "what happened to man I fell in love with?"

Do no be that man.