Post: #26

(08-11-2011 03:00 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  You can talk to yourself all day and tell yourself you are the best looking, coolest guy in the world. That might make you feel better. But, if you want to really internalize that feeling. You gotta have some real world results.

Getting pussy is the best way to internalize Game beliefs. When you can get pussy, you will not have to TRY TO BELIEVE, YOU WILL KNOW FOR SURE what you are capable of.


DeliciousWolf,

How exactly did you internalize this stuff? All you said was that you used a system based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? How exactly does it work? What is the system? Do I have to talk to a therapist? How does it work?

Please explain how you internalized these beliefs.

You absolutely DO need to take action, repeatedly, to learn any new skill or task. And results are really important in internalizing new beliefs, no doubt. But even then people can have great results and discount them, think negatively about them, get discouraged and quit. I know plenty of guys who've gone out and gotten solid numbers or makeouts, but went home feeling like failures. Or gotten SNLs but felt like failures. We're talking about the inner-game side of things here, not the outer game.

Even with skill someone can still not feel successful. Have doubts, fears , and negative self-talk about themselves or women and those things will absolutely hurt your game and keep you from achieving full success. If you're banging women but still often feel terrible about yourself, that's not what I call success. If you're still getting upset or hurt by women in any way, that's not what I call success. (One of my big realizations to come from this system is that no woman has the power to hurt me in any way I don't give her. Think about that.)

How many people do you know who seem to have it all and still feel unsuccessful, or depressed about their lives? Expensive Hollywood psychologists offices are not filled with the poor. It's not enough to just 'do' successful, you also want to also feel successful, too. Most people have no idea how to do that. Nothing is a replacement for action, and feeling successful can be tremendously helpful in taking the action to become successful. Having positive self-talk which helps you deal with the frustrations, disappointments and rejections of Game will keep a guy in the Game and learning, where 90% of guys drop out within a year.

Now, since we're talking about the importance of taking action in learning anything, you know the drill, please don't be lazy and ask me to summarize a powerful system into a cheap paragraph what a psychologist has distilled into a book. Go out and buy one or both of the two books I recommended if you want to learn the system. Applied, I guarantee it will revolutionize your game and your life. But I'm not going to summarize it here (poorly) for people to read briefly and pass on. The view belongs to the one who climbs the mountain.

Post: #27

(08-12-2011 12:25 PM)DeliciousWolf Wrote:  please don't be lazy and ask me to summarize a powerful system into a cheap paragraph

DeliciousWolf,

I read and agreed with your post. However, I still would love to read a "cheap paragraph" about what you learned and how you learned it.

This forum would be nothing without cheap paragraphs written about powerful experience.

(08-12-2011 12:25 PM)DeliciousWolf Wrote:  The view belongs to the one who climbs the mountain.

Yes, you climbed the mountain. and, it sounds like you are enjoying the view. I just want to look at a picture of the view. My experience will not compare to yours.

Now, I'm gonna goggle the books and read some reviews..interesting stuff

Post: #28

Self-talk has its value, but in the end, it's hard to lie to the subconscious.

The best way to develop "inner game" is through accomplishment.

Why do you think so many guys in our 30's are killing it? It's because we've actually accomplished things in life, and thus have some self-confidence and self-possession.

Go to the gym, put on some muscle, dress with style, wear sunscreen, take care of your skin to avoid wrinkles, get a good haircut....Suddenly you'll find the "inner game" appears without any pep talks. Why? Because so many girls will just start showing up that you'll know - as a matter of objective reality rather than subjective self-delusion - that you got game.

Post: #29

I used to think that MikeCF was right but I feel like there has to be something else to it. It can't just be work on the outergame to solidify the inner game. Don't know how spiritual or whatnot I want to get with this but there has to be some unconditional self-love outside of the outer circumstance.

Post: #30

(08-12-2011 06:41 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  Self-talk has its value, but in the end, it's hard to lie to the subconscious.

Go to the gym, put on some muscle, dress with style, wear sunscreen, take care of your skin to avoid wrinkles, get a good haircut....Suddenly you'll find the "inner game" appears without any pep talks. Why? Because so many girls will just start showing up that you'll know - as a matter of objective reality rather than subjective self-delusion - that you got game.

First, you're not "lying" to the sub-conscious. You're instructing it in new ways to think. ie. A girl rejects you. You're usual automatic thought is to think, "Fuck, I suck with women. What's wrong with me?" and then get all depressed and your night is ruined. Think positively as much as you want, your automatic emotional response is still going to fuck you. So instead you use the Self-Talk system to instruct and condition your mind to automatically think new beneficial thoughts, "Wow, something wrong with that girl. Next!" You're not lying to your sub-conscious, you're giving it new thinking patterns. Same goes when you tell yourself you're awesome, instead of a loser.

And yes, all that external stuff is important to do, no doubt about it. But watch your inner game (based on external activities) all come crashing down at the first hot girl who suddenly turns cold and tells you to Fuck Off! Because true inner game is based on a rock-solid inner reality that is automatic and unshakeable. Success reinforces it, and yes your inner game can sometimes change slowly over time with success. But why not accelerate the process 1000x and give yourself control over it?

Post: #31

What books do you recommend on the subject delicious wolf? I read worry cure already by Robert Leahy.

Post: #32

DeliciousWolf, one could argue that the way you deal with things is simply reframing. Would you agree?

Post: #33

DeliciousWolf's posts inspired me to dig into cognitive behavioral therapy a little bit. I've used CBT before to help with depression and excessive drinking. I think a not bad lay explanation of CBT would be that it's sort of like taking an organized approach to changing the way you think about things. Yeah, a lot like reframing.

The wikipedia article on it is good: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy

And here's a bunch of worksheets that you can look at to get an idea of what it looks like: http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/freedownloads2.htm

I've started using it to deal with my approach anxiety. If it works I'll let you all know.

(Of course, I can't post links 'cause I don't have >10 posts. So I cut the protocols off.)

Post: #34

No book or NLP program made me more confident than Mode One by Alan Roger Currie. Mode One is not for everybody. Once you really understand it things will flow very easy.

Post: #35

(08-12-2011 06:41 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  Self-talk has its value, but in the end, it's hard to lie to the subconscious.

This. I feel like there are a lot of good points made so far; I especially dig the one with your mind being resistant to change. Chances are, it's not a habit to approach, and so, creating a new habit is not as easy. Factor in the fact that with approaching women, men TEND TO place more of their self-esteem into it than say, getting better at tennis or becoming a better stamp collector.

Post: #36

(08-13-2011 03:07 AM)Jack_007 Wrote:  No book or NLP program made me more confident than Mode One by Alan Roger Currie. Mode One is not for everybody. Once you really understand it things will flow very easy.

I'm a little weary about certain books or whatever, it probably was that last piece of the puzzle that made things click for you - whereas someone else may not get as much value from it.

Just saying. I've been trying to pay attention and shift from enjoying the experience consciously and vividly TO being able to be very objective and go '3rd person'. It's not easy but it helps being emotionally honest with yourself sometimes.

Post: #37

(08-12-2011 09:03 PM)Walderschmidt Wrote:  DeliciousWolf, one could argue that the way you deal with things is simply reframing. Would you agree?

There's quite a bit more to it than just re-framing. The wonderful thing about Self-Talk is that it goes far beyond just re-framing, which is a reactive response, to include proactive behavior adoption and more. For example, recently I decided that I wasn't taking enough risks in my life, and wasn't taking enough risks with women. Fine, okay but how does one actually change that? Just saying I'm going to take more risks from now on doesn't work for long. Using the Self-Talk system I adopted new thinking patterns around being a risk-taker (eg. "I risk escalating kinos with every woman I'm attracted to, all the way through to sex") and quickly began adopting the new behaviors I desired. This is more than just reframing the way you deal with things, it's actively choosing how you want to be. Last Saturday night I ended up making out with two new women at the same bar, and kino-escalating several more. Also got 4 four numbers. Stuff works.

Be aware though that Self-Talk is a little bit of a new skill to learn, and that when you first begin your mind may actively argue that the system can't possibly work, or when you choose new Self-Talk patterns your brain will tell you at first that you're lying or deceiving yourself. (Your brain may be telling you this even now!) This is all normal, and in fact a sign that the system is working. It's perfectly natural for the brain to first argue against new thought patterns as it seeks to defend its old thinking patterns. Over time I've found that the brain begins to accept new Self-Talk thoughts much more readily, and this is hardly a problem for me anymore. I can now improve my thoughts and my behaviors rapidly, even very ingrained ones like fears or procrastination, quite rapidly. It really is wonderful to have that much control over your life.

Self-Talk therapy is similar to CBT, but I find Self-Talk therapy faster and better to use when you wish to instill new beliefs or behaviors. I have found CBT to be excellent for dealing with depression, upsetting thoughts, etc. Both are excellent and well worth anyone's time to look into.

To re-iterate, the books I recommend are "The Self-Talk Solution" (my favorite) and "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself" both by Dr. Shad Helmstetter. I haven't read any of those other books and can't comment on them. It's better to read one book and apply it than to read several books and not use them.

Post: #38

(08-12-2011 11:27 AM)DeliciousWolf Wrote:  

(08-11-2011 01:17 PM)PDX Wrote:  

(08-11-2011 11:54 AM)DeliciousWolf Wrote:  [*]Women never reject me

A good post, but this is delusional thinking. Better to just accept that some women will reject you, but know it won't shake you. You don't hear basketball players saying they never miss a shot.

The basketball hoop never rejects the player, only the shot.

She can never reject 'me'. She can reject my opener, she might not like how I opened, she might not like my sense of humor or my joke, she might not like the way I look, etc. But she can never reject me. She doesn't even know me. Thus, "Women never reject me." Thinking this way removes the ego from the equation.

This. Marking this for myself to remind myself.

Post: #39

(03-18-2011 08:33 AM)SHANbangs Wrote:  Hey guys,

I am having some real issues with inner game, confidence, and approaching. I know and understand the right beliefs - not being afraid of women, there's no harm in approaching, you won't know until you find out, i'm the prize, etc. - but I am having a hard time internalizing them and having them stick. I find that the minute I step into the club, my confidence declines and my AA increases. I tell myself I am the prize, but half way through an approach I start losing that mentality. What are some things you did to ensure your good beliefs and frames stuck to you? Did you practice anything, have any affirmations, etc? I'm committed to get this down, because it is decreasing the number of my approaches and the quality of my approaches. Please help.

Simple answer is you've got to be this "ideal, best self" ALL THE TIME. Meaning you can't be the man in game and then at work, you're a pushover little bitch or when you're with your buddies or family, whoever, you're different.

It'd be sorta like if I said, hey, when you go to the gym, put your penis on and then at school, take it out. Fuck no, you got a penis 24/7 so why would you only be the prize at the club? Are you the prize in other areas of your life or do you compartmentalize your personality? Additionally, what makes YOU the prize? Are you happy with yourself? If not, what areas are you trying to change and how to improve yourself.

In my case, my skills with women dramatically improved when I started my own business. If anybody is reading this and works a "job", you have no idea how scary, yet ultimately liberating and free you become the moment you start a business. It's like your dick magically grows bigger immediately thereafter.

It's not that you suddenly want to tell your boss fuck you, but rather, you understand where your boss is coming from and can speak with him on the same level. In fact, if Richard Branson or Donald Trump were to speak to me, while I'm nowhere near as rich as them, I wouldn't be intimidated like I would've been in the future. And when you feel that sense of freedom, speaking to a dimepiece on the street doing stretches is really nothing. It really is nothing

Post: #40

A lot of these older threads from back in the day were pure gold.

Post: #41

A lot of AA boils down to fear of getting smitten by her keeper (an alpha male or society protecting its valuable eggs). Truth is that these days you most likely won't get beaten up or killed just for opening a chick. Recognize vestigial fears. Be aware of them. But don't let non existent threats prevent you from fulfilling your desires.

Post: #42

IF..you want to repeat your past popularity or never had it to begin with....then maybe I can offer some tidbits

I read to much now...my bad (my age)...but can't help it...what I've read about recently (I test) is how to fuck chicks ((and out of country ones mostly I wanna figure out the culture and then the chicks in that enviroment)

Prince Charming (girls dream guy ..the one she saves her eggs for....and waits for...till she settles.. examples of SETTLE being tinder guys or date sites) we'll call Prince Charming her core value

PRINCE CHARMING

1) this guy takes up space....at the bar he wants as much of it as possible ...space (means other males respect the dominate male to give it)...NBA guys take up space....fat guys take up space...tough guys are given space.....DWEEBS take up no space they actually wanna get smaller......chicks see the bubble around prince charming as status

2) SLOW movements....I laughed at this..but remembered a few popular guys and reflected on them...they did move SLOW as if they could burst into energy when they wanted to (punch your lights out)..walked slow...talked slow... took a second to answer..no rapid head movements.no agitation..everything was SLOW and under control....chicks like that...they don't like jumpy rabbits.

3) Talk/Look past people...look past them when speaking or when looking at a chick look past her to wall behind...odd...but popular types have no need for MORE people...so why directly look at them or talk to them....girls want to be added to the popular list and try harder to do it

4) Confidence (not pride..it's a turnoff)...a person that has everything he needs...which enables calmness...direct eye contact...unwavering speech....no feet shuffle...drinking fast.. seriousness exuded. (chicks will see through FAKES when guys voices crack...or rapid head movements...avoid eye contact...you cannot train enough to chat with a 10...she'll catch you and reject you so you better be well grounded)

5) wrote before on another thread about romance novels that chicks rip off the shelves....it's the covers on those books that draw them in....the soldier...the fireman or cop...the bad boy..the pirate..it's not the uniforms ...or persona....it's BRAVERY... (forget height all though book covers show tall guys..seen lots of 10's with normal height people...even dwarfs) anyways it's the perception of the occupation not the actual fact of being the white Knight. (get it)..saving the weak...and sweeping her off her feet and ravaging her virginity.(girl porn)

6)Beta Orbiters....date sites/tinder/instagram (my take on it)....Most girls at some point give up on Prince Charming...(all the good guys gone or taken)...they waited and waited and waited and waited for him......same old story

SETTLE...I think chicks sift through the piles of steaming crap (men) send regularly (flattering till it gets old)..they don't respond of course (most guys being full of shit weed themselves out..meaning one message and gone) they want the serious guy....Chicks don't have a life (until they get a kid) so have mountains of time to sift....some guys here say fukit not going to orbit (or chicks profile a fake)...I dunno...I use zero apps....and was a flake on date sites...for younger guys..the point is chicks SETTLE at some point and look for serious and sincere...it means also 1 million letters to maybe a BOT.

Final note off topic... Flirting....both men and women found "shame" attractive feature when meeting (awkward embarrassed virgins always turn us on...I guess chicks like it for seriousness of a guy..or value he puts on her..to get red faced)...one line direct pickups lines had the usual effect (silly but ice breaker).......open ended statement on pickup worked better..."the band sounds great" along with a touch (even better....shoulder..hand...not ass)

and even better ...intimate ......"always been curious if people can fall in love meeting in bars"...(stuff like that)