Post: #1

I'm honestly tired of reading Everything Else, because of all these "wow, look what this fucked up chick did" stories. But I gotta share this.

TL;DR
"After selling my online business at age 26 for over $1 million, I created this blog to help you grow your own business quickly."

So chick gets $640K of VC/Angel money to go build a business.

Except "something wasn't right".

So she breaks up with her boyfriend, moves to another state, kills the company... and $640K of investor money is gone.

Quote:Something wasn’t right, and I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was. On the surface, it seemed like I had the best life. A popular blog with millions of readers. The perfect relationship with Brian, the most adoring fiance in the universe. A great set of supportive friends and a nice social standing in Austin, TX. And, last but not least, an awesome company, making marketing software, with a great team, that was making money and (finally!) shipping products.

Yet something lurked just beneath the surface. It would come out at awkward times, like 3AM, when I would wake up and feel an edge, a discomfort. Something felt broken. But when I looked at my life, I couldn’t spot it. What was going on?

Then, one day, a few weeks ago, an event happened (I’ll save the details of that for some other time.) Suddenly a torrent of emotions poured in. I was overwhelmed. I stayed home from work one day–my best friend Erica sent me some poetry, and I just cried. I wept. It felt like my soul was pouring out of me, one tear at a time.

I reeled from the onslaught of emotions for days, and soon thereafter, I broke off my relationship with Brian. Whatever wasn’t right in my life wasn’t easy to find. It went deep into myself.

Brian was shocked, and as well he should be. I loved Brian. I still love him. But something wasn’t there. It wasn’t right. It was why we weren’t getting married. He was the perfect guy on the surface, but for some reason he wasn’t perfect for me.

I Had to Leave…

That was Friday, April 25. Saturday morning, I woke up and bought a plane ticket to Boulder, CO for six days. It was there that I would kill my company. But at that point, I didn’t know that. All I knew was that I had to leave. I had to get away. Something was so profoundly broken in my life–something I knew I couldn’t see without the perspective that leaving my home in Austin, TX would show me.

Sunday morning, April 27, I arrived in Boulder. I felt a strange sense of unity, peace, and relief. All of the noise in my brain was quiet for the first time in years. I had told Brian this trip was to create my preferences, to help me understand what I wanted in this life. But it was also to fix the pain and the brokenness that I could no longer ignore.

Today is my fourth day in Boulder, and I have not stopped crying. Yesterday, our largest customer, representing 22% of our revenue for Whoosh Traffic, cancelled. Because of their cancellation, we could no longer make payroll next week.

I pinged my friend Andy on Facebook, and I did something that until now has been incredibly difficult for me: I asked for help.

“What Do You Really Want?”

Andy asked me, “What do you really want?” I felt strongly this was the crux of the question that had led me to Boulder, that had led me to drop everything in search of myself. At first, I didn’t know how to answer. But he helped me work through it.

After my conversation with Andy, I got on our company chat room and told Paul (our CTO) and Amanda (my assistant) that there was no more money left, and that we wouldn’t be able to make payroll. I thought they’d be upset, but they were stoic.

Isn’t it interesting how when things are broken in your life, people sense it somehow? I believe that’s why we haven’t raised investment capital in the past 7 months since we got out of Techstars. I knew, somehow, deep inside, that so many things were broken in my life, and that that extended into our business. So how could I ask investors to sink more money in? It would be disingenuous. I couldn’t do it.

The truth was, I didn’t really want to build a huge SEO software company. We knew that coming into Techstars. My cofounder and I split during Techstars, and I decided I really wanted to build a marketing automation platform. That platform would become MarketVibe.

But something still wasn’t right. If MarketVibe was what I really wanted to do, why wasn’t I launching it on my blog? Why wasn’t I doing whatever it took to get paying customers and make it successful?

The Brokenness…

The brokenness pervaded my dreams, leaving me exhausted when I woke up in the morning. I developed a sugar addiction and a video game addiction. I gained so much weight that many of my clothes stopped fitting. It’s hard to explain the contrast between the abject depression that ate at me in the middle of the night when I was alone and vulnerable, and the “everything is OK” smile I’d put on as my “public face.” It was why I stopped blogging.

Today I write this, still in Boulder, still reeling emotionally from the large volume of changes in my life in the past week. I write this humbly, with a complete lack of ego. My business failed and it took my savings, and $640,000 of investor capital on top of that, with it. I let my blog income sources dry up while I focused on the business, and now I must figure out what’s next, from an awkward place I haven’t been in in many years: no money, no salary, and some credit card debt on top of that.

Sometimes you have to rip everything apart to find the core of yourself, the beauty inside you. And this is where I am today.

For so many years, I was the rock, the glue that held my friends together. I was the one who was always there, always ready to listen and give a hug. I was the nice one, the one who rarely judged, who smiled and wished everyone well.

When I tore my life apart, I found an inner core of myself–a twin core of vulnerability and strength, the masculine and the feminine, sitting together peacefully inside myself for the first time. My business failed, but I am not a failure. That’s the key difference that going into myself enabled me to acknowledge on a deep and personal level.

Am I Upset?

Am I upset that I lost my investors’ money? Only in the sense that many of our investors were my friends and I didn’t want to disappoint them. But the me coming out from this hurricane of chaos is a much stronger me, able to acknowledge the mistakes I’ve made, able to open up and be emotionally raw with my friends and my team–qualities that every great leader must possess.

This is what puts one on the path to success–true, authentic success with deep happiness and fulfillment. From where I stand today, I can see why so many leaders are unhappy. They are afraid to be themselves. They are afraid to be vulnerable, to let down their guard, to take the help that their friends and family offer. This is what breaks relationships, both personal and professional.

And now I can share with you what shifts for me this week: I know that this is what I have to offer the world. The twin cores of vulnerability and strength, standing together. As more women enter our workforce, and we as female leaders struggle to find our voices and our innate leadership qualities, we must not forget that the feminine side of ourselves is not a weakness. It is, in fact, our greatest strength as the leaders of this world. We are vulnerable, and we are beautiful, and that’s not just okay–it’s needed in our society.

And as it broke down with me, so it will with others, as we learn how as a society to be authentic, to be raw, to be emotional, to cry it out and hug our friends and tell them we love them. To deal with the pain as it comes instead of bottling it up, taking anti-depressants, and committing suicide (in the worst of cases.) To love without fearing the loss.

The people who embrace that vulnerable core of themselves are our true next generation of leaders, and today I get to stand up and say: That’s me. That’s not just who I want to be–it’s who I am now. I had to break my entire world to find it in myself, but now I stand before you, humbled, having failed in a way but having found something even better from that breakdown.

The world is quiet. The noise in my head is gone. For the first time in many years, I am at peace.

So What Comes Next?

There are a few things that are clear:

I want to keep our team together. Paul, Amanda, and I work together well. So we may form a new company, or rearrange the current one. I think I may do some consulting for a month or two, recovering my finances and helping other authentic leaders of larger companies find their voices and build better teams. (Email me at erica at erica dot biz if you’re interested in talking about this further–it won’t be cheap, but it will be worth it for you.)

And I would like to do MarketVibe, but I think it is time to explore some funding options that buy us some time, instead of feeling rushed to half-ass a product out to market. I no longer sense the perfectionism inside me that was causing us to not launch a product–but I do feel a need to give our product the time and attention it deserves to get the user experience to a state similar to the beauty I see inherent in this world.

Some of our current investors may come along for the ride. Some won’t, and that’s okay. As a person, I am worlds apart from the one who raised money back in 2012. I was not confident in myself back then. I had a gritty edge. I was scared.

Today I’m embracing myself as a leader not just in business, but in our world. I am “in flow” and I know the right people will show up to help me along and support my journey. It is time to show the world that the feminine and the masculine can work together; that neither is inferior, that both are needed. It is time to embrace my own vulnerability and lead by example.

And it’s time to redesign my blog. (Forthcoming!)

if this post compels you to reach out, by all means, do so. (Email, Facebook, Twitter) And if it’s not your cup of tea, feel free to unsubscribe. I am no longer concerned. This is who I am. This is why I’m here. And I’m excited to have you along on this journey with me, through my blog and social media, if you’d like to be a part. (Subscribe to my email list and/or follow me on Facebook.)

Thanks for reading. I’m sorry I lost your money.

With love,
Erica
#500strong #techstars and now… #failed.

Source http://www.erica.biz/2014/dear-investors/

Post: #2

A good example of why women are bad in business. Too fucking emotional.

If her "friends" that she works so well with go into another venture with her they are out of their minds.

Post: #3

Quote: I think I may do some consulting for a month or two, recovering my finances and helping other authentic leaders of larger companies find their voices and build better teams. (Email me at erica at erica dot biz if you’re interested in talking about this further–it won’t be cheap, but it will be worth it for you.)

She's truly out of her mind.

Post: #4

(04-30-2014 05:22 PM)magellan Wrote:  

Quote: I think I may do some consulting for a month or two, recovering my finances and helping other authentic leaders of larger companies find their voices and build better teams. (Email me at erica at erica dot biz if you’re interested in talking about this further–it won’t be cheap, but it will be worth it for you.)

She's truly out of her mind.

And she's single, gentlemen!

Post: #5

Startups fail all the time. It's up to the investor(s) to due their due diligence and evaluate the team they are investing in. It's their fault they lost $640k as much as it is hers.

Her startup, Marketvibe.com, looks to be a poorly thought out and messy concept, too. Who the hell invested in that idea?

Post: #6

One customer cancelling meant they immediately couldn't make payroll?? No wonder she had a breakdown, she sucks at business.

Post: #7

Quote:After selling my online business at age 26 for over $1 million

Where did that money go? She lost the investors money and the money she made by selling her businesses?

Quote:Something felt broken.

Her finances. She should have looked there.


Dear god look at those horse teeth and giant arms. WNB. Maybe she ate her money.

Post: #8

I don't want to sound like a hater, but I just read through this chick's story: http://www.erica.biz/2009/the-end-of-an-era/

From what I gathered, this milestone of selling a business for $1.1 million took 9 years in Silicon Valley even with the tech bubble. I'm impressed that she dropped out of school, but she literally only knew how to code HTML and did some work at Cobalt (would've been a millionaire had she been smart enough to pursue this opportunity). Had some shares, sold them shortly after for a small allowance instead of riding the wave and getting loaded. I'll leave that alone because anyone could make that mistake. She instead went to start a web hosting business which is what she eventually sold for $1.1 million. But taking 9 years only to make a million in tech of all industries isn't something to brag about.

And this chick got into Techstars!? Is this a women's initiative or is the bar really that low?

I'm doing a postgrad work program where I'll be apprenticing with different startup CEOs and most of them are pretty legit, but there are some fools out there. I imagine it's hard for would be start up employees to see clearly through all the shit. This just shows you that working at a startup can be cool and maybe a good learning experience, but holy hell it seems like just about anybody can raise capital and call themselves a CEO. Most of them have never even worked at a startup before, and certainly don't know anything about sales, backend dev, etc. yet they hire sales people and backend developers and pay them scraps or a shit slice of equity.

Bottom line: ownership is everything. I'd toss the rest of her advice out the window.

Post: #9

Reason 10,768,980 women shouldn't run companies or countries.

Because she 'felt' something was 'off', she bankrupted a successful company and destroyed her life.

Batshit infuckingsane.

NEVER go into business with a woman gents. NEVER.

Post: #10

^^Can you list out the other 10,768,979?

Post: #11

The article written by this woman is extremely heavy in

Post: #12

Don't worry, the white knights are already lining up to get some hot just-had-a-breakdown sex:

   

Post: #13

(04-30-2014 06:14 PM)RawGod Wrote:  Don't worry, the white knights are already lining up to get some hot just-had-a-breakdown sex:

In the startup scene its usually one big circle jerk.

Post: #14

I read through her post linked above and can only shake my head. Why anyone would give her a dime I cannot fathom as she has zero knowledge on how to run a business.

None.

Hiring people to a "high wage" then is surprised when she gets a bill for her webhosting that prevents her from paying said employees. WTF? She didn't know she had to pay her supplier?

She talks about doing public speaking at the end of the story. What is she going to talk about? How to be a fuckup?

I shake my head.

Post: #15

Andy is beta as fuck. Hope her fiance had some ass lined up and started making calls as soon as she got on the plane. When you are in an LTR and she suddenly decides to go on a trip to "find herself", it usually means it's over.

Post: #16

I liked the part about how she was begging for investor money and got it for a project she didn't even want to do. And now she is like "Opps sorry guyz I lost your money but don't worry I have a new idea I need money for." Anyone who would give this woman money is insane.

Post: #17

There are some excellent businesswomen out there, they are usually good at staying calm under pressure and not putting too much weight onto her emotions unlike this women.

I remember we negotiated with this lady when we did social media work for her, she was tough to deal with but was very successful. People respected her.

Post: #18

I especially liked how she thought she and her 'team' the CTO and assistant worked well together and should continue working together...lady!! You couldn't meet payroll...they are probably saying 'fuck you I am looking for work'

Post: #19

I like how she has the audacity to say that the future of leaders will be like her. Emotionally vulnerable and likely to fuck up a business on a whim.

Post: #20

Now when she finally gets another job offer she'll bitch about getting 70 cents for every $1 a man makes...

Post: #21

I still think the fact she left her fiancee because of a whim (i.e. a vague desire to chase alpha cock) is more abominable than her business wreck. And her giant hamster is only enabled because she knows that there will never be any consequences for her, no matter how badly she fucks up her life in all regards: another beta will line up to marry her, and another investor will line up to support a struggling feminist. If she was actually in danger of ending up on the street because of this (like there was at little as 50 years ago), there's no way that her post would carry this "all is cool now, fuck you everyone" comfortable hamster vibe.

Post: #22

Why do women always feel the need to include the first name of their friends and boyfriends in public conversation and writing, like we are supposed to know them? I don't give a crap about Brian or Erica. The fact that this woman use first names like this, tells me she legitimately thinks her personal relationship matter to the business. And they don't and that is why women are poor CEOs.

Post: #23

Here are her two failed businesses:

http://marketvibe.com/
Can't believe that she got funding and wasted $640,000 on this turkey. It's a simply a marketing consultancy which offers to optimise your onsite calls to action. But presented with bells and whistles and a big price tag. This service could be done by a single consultant with a bit of experience in digital marketing.


http://whooshtraffic.com/
An SEO SAAS thingy which doesn't do anything that the market leaders don't do. About 5 years out of date as a business. Today's blog states that the top client cancelled, taking 22% of revenue. Since the premium monthly rate listed on the site is $999/month, that would mean the monthly revenue was $4500. Might be OK for a single person living in SEA, but not to support at least 3 American employees plus the outsourced backend.

Really feel sorry for this girl, even though she brought it on herself. She made a million bucks, spent it all in 6 years, ran through investors money, gained weight and dumped her fiance and now finds herself fat, 32, single and penniless. Hope she reads James Altucher's blog, that guy has come back from similar depths!

Post: #24

Anyone who goes to Boulder to find themselves is an idiot and a burnout that you can't take seriously. Christ. What a horse faced, fat piece of shit person. Hopefully this public piece just helped her blacklist herself from receiving any investor $ in the future.

Post: #25

LMFAO Yea, let me tell my investors that I lost all their money because "something" didn't feel right and I just had to go and "find myself".

Get the fuck outta here. So ridiculous.