Post: #1

Guys

I have been studying the advice given on here for about a year now and have thankfully improved a lot since i first stumbled on this forum but I have noticed that no matter how many women I manage to bed , I still feel empty when I bang them.

ONS' just dont do it for me for some reason, no matter how cute or how much of a hard on I had prior. For some strange reason I just cant get my rocks off unless I actually feel something real about the woman I am with.

I can get it up no problems and get it wet, but when it comes to finishing
the deed I fail miserably, because no matter how hard I try (unless I cheat and think of someone else) i cant blow me load.

has anyone else run into this issue and if so how did you resolve it?

Note: I am not trolling, its a serious question.

Post: #2

OK, if you are serious then my response is also serious but probably sounds equally like I'm not giving a serious response (but not kidding at all).

Here goes:
If you feel empty inside while fucking and can't cum unless you feel close to a girl, it could be the case that your balls are empty. You are probably jerking off too much. Try zero masturbation for a while, and next time you are fucking you might feel all the love you need and cum like Peter North.

Problem solved.

Post: #3

Yeah you need to feel "in love" in order to finish. Been there. Problem is you're not dating girls that you're into.
You're basically carpet bombing and banging anything you can.

People will tell you that younger guys are hornier and finish too quickly. I say it's because they fall in love to easily.
I think this is how it was meant to work honestly. We're supposed to pair up early on before we know what's going
on and get all caught up in each other.

I've had women describe to me what's it's like for them to orgasm. I've been told they have to "let go" during sex
and it will happen. As in you have to be comfortable with that person or the situation. You're not comfortable in
that situation so you're putting yourself in another mental place where you are comfortable or feel "in love".

You have to choose which road you want to be on. The road to abundance or the road to monogamy. Because you
can't have both.

Post: #4

(03-17-2014 06:20 AM)loki Wrote:  Guys

I have been studying the advice given on here for about a year now and have thankfully improved a lot since i first stumbled on this forum but I have noticed that no matter how many women I manage to bed , I still feel empty when I bang them.

ONS' just dont do it for me for some reason, no matter how cute or how much of a hard on I had prior. For some strange reason I just cant get my rocks off unless I actually feel something real about the woman I am with.

I can get it up no problems and get it wet, but when it comes to finishing
the deed I fail miserably, because no matter how hard I try (unless I cheat and think of someone else) i cant blow me load.

has anyone else run into this issue and if so how did you resolve it?

Note: I am not trolling, its a serious question.

I've had the same problem , also had trouble keeping it up.
It was actually quite a long time ago, back when i had a massive dry streak. Then i started getting laid more often but i didnt enjoy it like i used to.

I had a few problems back then.

- Addicted to porn
- Anxiety
- Low testosterone

The problem is that it's hard to pinpoint the problem, its not something you can test. In my case it simply disappeared after a while.
I started lifting weights, i stopped watching porn for a long time, and i got more confidence. The moment i stopped caring about it was when it all changed for the better.

Post: #5

It could also be a physical issue, try crushed raw garlic

Post: #6

I had an empty feeling when I had one nighters so I got in relationships. That left me empty and feeling I should be dating around.

I had an empty feeling dating around, so I got married. That left me empty, feeling the whole world was out there having more fun.

I had an empty feeling when I got divorced and now look back wistfully on the nice house we used to have that someone else lives in.

I had an empty feeling working my butt off. When I achieved a big goal, I had an empty feeling because I missed the struggle and security of being immersed in my work and not having to think of bigger issues.

The fault is not in our situations, but in ourselves. If you feel empty in one situation, odds are you'll feel it elsewhere. I'd recommend figuring out what your deeper issue is before you make costly mistakes.

I have a vivid memory of turning 20, having a one-nighter with a woman I was dying to bang, then driving home on Route 29 north on the way back from DC, thinking to myself "Is that all there is?" and feeling suicidal and daydreaming about driving into oncoming traffic.

In retrospect, the problem wasn't the one-nigher(s) but me. Looking back, I should have been enjoying the moment. I was young! People liked me! She had great boobs and was 19!! When will that come around again?! But I was dealing with serious underlying issues of depression and anxiety that nothing solved -- not time, nor maturity, not marriage, not divorce, not success, not achieving any goal. Shame it took decades for me to get this.

Deal with the larger issue, whatever it is, not the one-nighters.

Post: #7

I think you are coming from the wrong paradigm. It is not really about "fullness" or about being happy. In reality, any strong emotion you have will not last more than a few moments, and once it is gone it is history.

The only exception is when you fall in love. That can be quite a lasting light-headedness that is nice to experience. The problem with learning seduction is that you immunize yourself to love. Our cause-effect mentality makes it impossible for us to feel anything, unless the girl is unrealistically high-standard.

And, even when you fall in love, the feeling goes after about a month. It happens very randomly, so it is not something you can look fo
As for "everyday seduction", you approach the girl, number-close, date to f-close or SNL or whatever, you run through the procedure like you would through a maths problem. And seduction is enjoyable in that manner, similar to how it is fun to put a puzzle together or to solve an equation.

But, mix this pleasure of the brain with the hormonal secretions that a woman's presence gives, and it feels better than it should. Then, you bust and you realize it was your penis all along.

A good rule of thumb is that if you would not take time out of your schedule to spend sexless time with a girl, she will not be worth dating. Therefore 99% of girls.

In reality, there is a solid argument is favor of seduction not being worth it. But, it is just what we do. The tennis player does not ask him whether tennis is worth it, he just does it. Women are a hobby akin to chess, but their importance doesn't rise greatly above that. No woman will make you happy. But, achieving a woman when in high school you though you couldn't, that makes a man happy, even if in a fleeting way.

It is all about the journey towards the goal. The fun part is "working it out". Staring at the completed puzzle brings no joy.

Post: #8

Easy solution: Bang hotter women

Post: #9

(03-17-2014 07:07 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  I had an empty feeling when I had one nighters so I got in relationships. That left me empty and feeling I should be dating around.

I had an empty feeling dating around, so I got married. That left me empty, feeling the whole world was out there having more fun.

I had an empty feeling when I got divorced and now look back wistfully on the nice house we used to have that someone else lives in.

I had an empty feeling working my butt off. When I achieved a big goal, I had an empty feeling because I missed the struggle and security of being immersed in my work and not having to think of bigger issues.

The fault is not in our situations, but in ourselves. If you feel empty in one situation, odds are you'll feel it elsewhere. I'd recommend figuring out what your deeper issue is before you make costly mistakes.

I have a vivid memory of turning 20, having a one-nighter with a woman I was dying to bang, then driving home on Route 29 north on the way back from DC, thinking to myself "Is that all there is?" and feeling suicidal and daydreaming about driving into oncoming traffic.

In retrospect, the problem wasn't the one-nigher(s) but me. Looking back, I should have been enjoying the moment. I was young! People liked me! She had great boobs and was 19!! When will that come around again?! But I was dealing with serious underlying issues of depression and anxiety that nothing solved -- not time, nor maturity, not marriage, not divorce, not success, not achieving any goal. Shame it took decades for me to get this.

Deal with the larger issue, whatever it is, not the one-nighters.

Real Shit!!! Same reason why some wealthy folk take their own lives. From the outside, they have everything, but inside they're fucked up and tormented.

Post: #10

Quote: I still feel empty when I bang them.

What kind of emptiness do you mean? Is it like not feeling horny or not feeling anything at all? Is it only in those situations?

Post: #11

(03-17-2014 09:22 AM)MY DETROIT PLAYAS Wrote:  

(03-17-2014 07:07 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  I had an empty feeling when I had one nighters so I got in relationships. That left me empty and feeling I should be dating around.

I had an empty feeling dating around, so I got married. That left me empty, feeling the whole world was out there having more fun.

I had an empty feeling when I got divorced and now look back wistfully on the nice house we used to have that someone else lives in.

I had an empty feeling working my butt off. When I achieved a big goal, I had an empty feeling because I missed the struggle and security of being immersed in my work and not having to think of bigger issues.

The fault is not in our situations, but in ourselves. If you feel empty in one situation, odds are you'll feel it elsewhere. I'd recommend figuring out what your deeper issue is before you make costly mistakes.

I have a vivid memory of turning 20, having a one-nighter with a woman I was dying to bang, then driving home on Route 29 north on the way back from DC, thinking to myself "Is that all there is?" and feeling suicidal and daydreaming about driving into oncoming traffic.

In retrospect, the problem wasn't the one-nigher(s) but me. Looking back, I should have been enjoying the moment. I was young! People liked me! She had great boobs and was 19!! When will that come around again?! But I was dealing with serious underlying issues of depression and anxiety that nothing solved -- not time, nor maturity, not marriage, not divorce, not success, not achieving any goal. Shame it took decades for me to get this.

Deal with the larger issue, whatever it is, not the one-nighters.

Real Shit!!! Same reason why some wealthy folk take their own lives. From the outside, they have everything, but inside they're fucked up and tormented.

Completely agree. Try to slow down and enjoy the ride.

Post: #12

(03-17-2014 06:20 AM)loki Wrote:  For some strange reason I just cant get my rocks off unless I actually feel something real about the woman I am with.

Then only get with women with whom you feel something real with.

Contemplate and cultivate fullness with women and understand which women make you feel full rather than empty. Probably you're going to want to do more than one night with such women as they do not necessarily fall out of trees on demand, unless you are really on fire.

I know one young guy who has only ever been able to come with one woman, but has been with dozens of women. It is probably a biological thing.

Post: #13

(03-17-2014 06:20 AM)loki Wrote:  Guys

I have been studying the advice given on here for about a year now and have thankfully improved a lot since i first stumbled on this forum but I have noticed that no matter how many women I manage to bed , I still feel empty when I bang them.

ONS' just dont do it for me for some reason, no matter how cute or how much of a hard on I had prior. For some strange reason I just cant get my rocks off unless I actually feel something real about the woman I am with.

I can get it up no problems and get it wet, but when it comes to finishing
the deed I fail miserably, because no matter how hard I try (unless I cheat and think of someone else) i cant blow me load.

has anyone else run into this issue and if so how did you resolve it?

Note: I am not trolling, its a serious question.

If one night stands feel empty to you, maybe you could try getting involved more deeply with a girl and see how that feels.

We all get our kicks a bit differently. Some guys really enjoy deeper relationships with women involving a lot of feeling and the blissful loss of control that comes with falling in love.

Other guys are all about racking up notches. There's no reason to force something you don't really feel good about at this point in your life.

That would be like a skinny guy mesomorph guy trying to become a gorilla bodybuilder type, or a giant bulky dude trying to become a long-distance runner.

The other thing is, we all go through phases. One night stands may feel empty to you now but tremendously exciting in a year. Just trust your gut and always act from a place of "what do I want?"

Post: #14

(03-17-2014 07:07 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  I had an empty feeling when I had one nighters so I got in relationships. That left me empty and feeling I should be dating around.

I had an empty feeling dating around, so I got married. That left me empty, feeling the whole world was out there having more fun.

I had an empty feeling when I got divorced and now look back wistfully on the nice house we used to have that someone else lives in.

I had an empty feeling working my butt off. When I achieved a big goal, I had an empty feeling because I missed the struggle and security of being immersed in my work and not having to think of bigger issues.

The fault is not in our situations, but in ourselves. If you feel empty in one situation, odds are you'll feel it elsewhere. I'd recommend figuring out what your deeper issue is before you make costly mistakes.

I have a vivid memory of turning 20, having a one-nighter with a woman I was dying to bang, then driving home on Route 29 north on the way back from DC, thinking to myself "Is that all there is?" and feeling suicidal and daydreaming about driving into oncoming traffic.

In retrospect, the problem wasn't the one-nigher(s) but me. Looking back, I should have been enjoying the moment. I was young! People liked me! She had great boobs and was 19!! When will that come around again?! But I was dealing with serious underlying issues of depression and anxiety that nothing solved -- not time, nor maturity, not marriage, not divorce, not success, not achieving any goal. Shame it took decades for me to get this.

Deal with the larger issue, whatever it is, not the one-nighters.

THIS is exactly it.

Most people are formulaicly the same, don't focus on that, exploit it, but don't focus. Next lay? Sit back and appreciate the little details on her, that little scar from a fall on her bike at 5 yrs old, her rediculous political views and the life that cultivated them, etc.

Try and think about the massive butterfly effect of situations that led to her in your lap.

Appreciate the small details and don't expect changing your lifestyle to fix your problems.
A wise man once said, "wherever you go, there you are." That's this all simplified. Don't expect changing the girl to change how you experience women. Only you can do that.

Make plans to make tomorrow better, but don't get so caught up in those plans you forget to enjoy today too.


I had the same thing really bad a little over a year ago, took a massive acid trip, cleared up my perception of everything and started appreciating life's little details again.

Try to find the natural beauty in whatever situation you're in. The only difference between me feeling bored and empty or happy and fulfilled is how I choose to feel about a situation. Youre perception is all in your head and what you see, hear, and feel can be completely controlled by your brain. Focus on enjoying life, not by changing it, but by enjoying what youre already doing, and you'll end up effectively changing your life experience for the better.

Post: #15

If you get no fullfillment from meaningless sex then seek out women you can have a deeper connection with. You will get better fulfilment out of it.

Post: #16

Stop doing things that make you feel empty.

Instead, cultivate "intimacy" and "connection" with your girl.

Fall in love!!!

Love is a beautiful thing.

Not everyone is a player. Some of us like a real relationship with a women. I think relationships are sexy and fun. (While they last)

Just be careful. Relationships have there own risks.

Post: #17

(03-17-2014 07:07 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  I had an empty feeling when I had one nighters so I got in relationships. That left me empty and feeling I should be dating around.

I had an empty feeling dating around, so I got married. That left me empty, feeling the whole world was out there having more fun.

I had an empty feeling when I got divorced and now look back wistfully on the nice house we used to have that someone else lives in.

I had an empty feeling working my butt off. When I achieved a big goal, I had an empty feeling because I missed the struggle and security of being immersed in my work and not having to think of bigger issues.

The fault is not in our situations, but in ourselves. If you feel empty in one situation, odds are you'll feel it elsewhere. I'd recommend figuring out what your deeper issue is before you make costly mistakes.

I have a vivid memory of turning 20, having a one-nighter with a woman I was dying to bang, then driving home on Route 29 north on the way back from DC, thinking to myself "Is that all there is?" and feeling suicidal and daydreaming about driving into oncoming traffic.

In retrospect, the problem wasn't the one-nigher(s) but me. Looking back, I should have been enjoying the moment. I was young! People liked me! She had great boobs and was 19!! When will that come around again?! But I was dealing with serious underlying issues of depression and anxiety that nothing solved -- not time, nor maturity, not marriage, not divorce, not success, not achieving any goal. Shame it took decades for me to get this.

Deal with the larger issue, whatever it is, not the one-nighters.

This is a good post. But at the same time like Giovanni said, some people weren't cut out for a lifetime of meaningless hookups. The OP may need to try some different things to figure out what fits his personality style best.

Post: #18

(03-17-2014 07:19 AM)Blondelover Wrote:  The only exception is when you fall in love. That can be quite a lasting light-headedness that is nice to experience. The problem with learning seduction is that you immunize yourself to love. Our cause-effect mentality makes it impossible for us to feel anything, unless the girl is unrealistically high-standard.

And, even when you fall in love, the feeling goes after about a month. It happens very randomly, so it is not something you can look for
As for "everyday seduction", you approach the girl, number-close, date to f-close or SNL or whatever, you run through the procedure like you would through a math problem. And seduction is enjoyable in that manner, similar to how it is fun to put a puzzle together or to solve an equation.

But, mix this pleasure of the brain with the hormonal secretions that a woman's presence gives, and it feels better than it should. Then, you bust and you realize it was your penis all along.

A good rule of thumb is that if you would not take time out of your schedule to spend sexless time with a girl, she will not be worth dating. Therefore 99% of girls.

.

Love this. Very true in regards to being immunized to love when you learn seduction. You can't trust completely every girl you meet or date because there's always that lingering thought about some other guy who ran tight game on her before you and your girl sucking and fucking the shit out of him because of this. You tend to be paranoid a bit more around women also because they are the same if not worse than us men.

Post: #19

(03-17-2014 02:52 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  Stop doing things that make you feel empty.

Instead, cultivate "intimacy" and "connection" with your girl.

Fall in love!!!

Love is a beautiful thing.

Not everyone is a player. Some of us like a real relationship with a women. I think relationships are sexy and fun. (While they last)

Just be careful. Relationships have there own risks.

This doesn't get as much discussion as it deserves.

Post: #20

I was about to start a thread about this myself, but I have a different cause. I never really felt love towards any woman(well any woman recently), and I've been fucking up with my classes as of late. It seems all my hardwork is going down the drain and it's causing me problems elsewhere as well. I have always felt hollow during sex but I enjoyed it and the problem is I enjoyed my last time the other day much less than I normally do. I also find any real pleasure seeking activity being less potent, and have even picked up masturbating again constantly. Suicidal thoughts have even popped into my head after a confrontation with people close to me due to my bad progress in terms of work. Is there any cure to the downward spiral that I'm trying to fix that will also allow me to focus on my work as well? I'm unable to concentrate and I find myself lost in thought, and fearing that I may break down mentally and/or physically at this rate.
TL;DR: I need to get my shit together so I can focus more on my work and get out of a mental downward spiral.
If anyone seeing this can respond ASAP it would be much appreciated.

Post: #21

(03-17-2014 08:00 PM)chambs88 Wrote:  

(03-17-2014 02:52 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  Stop doing things that make you feel empty.

Instead, cultivate "intimacy" and "connection" with your girl.

Fall in love!!!

Love is a beautiful thing.

Not everyone is a player. Some of us like a real relationship with a women. I think relationships are sexy and fun. (While they last)

Just be careful. Relationships have there own risks.

This doesn't get as much discussion as it deserves.

How about the opposite?

You are in love. Relationship is great. Sex is amazing. There is an intimacy and connection for years.

And then the empty feeling that temporarily goes away after a batch of SNLs.

Post: #22

@OP:

If you're feeling empty from ONS's it may be because you're making women the prize and the focus of your journey.

Women should compliment a man's life; not BE his life.

Women should be side dishes to a man's main meal (his goals and overall life purpose), not his entire nourishment.

Women should be entertainment for men. Men should not pursue to entertain women.

Dig deep. Figure out what YOU want to do in life and make daily steps to reach those goals and dreams.

Lastly, Women aren't going anywhere. Feel free to take a break.

I've taken breaks for months before and came back better than ever. Gaming women is ebb and flow, sometimes you'll be on a streak and can do no wrong, and sometimes you need to take a step back and focus 100% on yourself only.

Post: #23

Focus on other aspects of your life. Do you even lift, bro? Have you considered buying a cook book to improve your chef skills? How about a new hobby?

In the long term, these things will help your Game although they are NOT Game in and of themselves.

Just focusing on cooking, wouldn't it be great to eat better, spend less on eating out and have the satisfaction of having turned raw ingredients into a delicious final product?

Take that to the Game level. Invite chick over to cook. "Hey, I'm cooking up a storm. I'm making XXX. Can you bring some milk with you?"

And from the LTR aspect -- if she can't cook but wants to, you can show her how to make something and then have her cook it for you afterwards. Teach her how to fish and then eat her fish.

Post: #24

^ And by "fish," I'm not talking about her pussy. Don't eat that shit unless she's earned it.

Post: #25

Hey guys

thanks for all the replies, you have all given me much to think over and assist me with my self assessment over the next few weeks.

For the record, my work life is better than ever ( concentrating on making bank), my diet is really good ( even dropped a few kg since Christmas) and I have more hobbies then you can poke a stick at so its not that.

Women are hitting on me much more now as well and are far my receptive to me but I think I need to raise my standards because bringing home 6's and 7's just aint doing it for me. I want 8's and 9's dammit!

I was pretty good about the no spank no porn rule for a while but have been a bit slack the last month or two so that would not be helping. The funny is though, after I have some lizard over and bang her out, even though I don't cum, I will still jerk off after she is left to release the tension so its not like I am not working down there.

I think my issue stems from a few things, correctly identified in a few posts in this thread so I shall look into ways of addressing them, and measuring the results over the next few weeks.

Thanks a bunch, you guys are great!