Post: #151

(12-10-2013 12:37 AM)_DC_ Wrote:  Not to derail the thread, as clearly this is about abstinence, but does anybody have any good experiences with using abstinence to kickstart moderation?

I have no typical "alcoholic" problems like needing or even craving a drink daily, but on the weekends I drink myself stoopid. Im almost 30 now, and have been binge drinking for a decade. I can't remember the last time I went out and had only 3-4 drinks the whole night.

My career is goin fantastic, so drinking hasn't negatively affected my week too bad (occassionally Ill drink hard enough Saturday to suffer on Monday though, not a hangover but just feeling off my game).

Ive realized its entirely a social crutch but paradoxically its ruined social interactions. I have to be sloppy to be completely comfortable im a high-energy bar situation. As to the anxiety mentioned above, I have had a weird habit of just randomly leaving a bar, even if friends are around, definitely a fight-or-flight type response.

Ive tried to limit my drinks, but this has been largely a failure. Once im a few drinks deep, I just want to get drunk.

Ideally Id go into a bar after having a few with buddies at home, then maybe a drink an hour. That'd keep me sharp, not only not wasted. Itd also thicken my wallet. Drinks in Sobe are off the chain.

I just wonder if 2-3 months stone cold sober would change things for me, especially if I could keep going out and socializing, no matter the difficulty at first. The length is arbitrary, but Id like some hard numbers on breaking old habits or fixing anxiety through a healthier and more productive medium.

I remember back in college, which is about a decade ago now. Drinking was not only fun, it was x10 more fun than it is now. There was an energy and zest of life to it. Id be horny, id be social, Id be the life of the party. Now with serious introspection, its a means of dealing with anxiety and not much else. Im not a violent drunk, or a sad sap, but a cost benefit analysis is definitely in the red. As mentioned before its a slow transition.

Has anyone been successfully severely limiting their intake? Can it been ingrained or conditioned, or is it once a binger always a binger?

This looks like something I could have written 7 years ago (I'm 37 now). I rarely get hammered now, although every now and then I still do (like once every couple of months). If you want to go out and not drink the best advice I can give you is only take $20 or so. No credit cards, no ATM cards, just $20 and a drivers license. Do that a few times and it becomes much easier. As I got older the punishment for drinking just kept getting worse - the hangovers get worse and worse to the point its not even worth it. If you find that you cant go to high energy places w/o getting blasted - and I understand the feeling because I am/was the same way - then dont go to those places. Looking back I never had the alcoholic tendencies you mention - didnt drink at home, drink during the week, etc, but when I would feel uncomfortable at a bar or club I'd just throw a few shots back and suck down a couple of strong drinks as a social crutch. But like any crutch you need to start getting comfortable w/o it and work your away off it. Once you go a few weeks in a row w/o getting blasted you dont really want to do it anymore. You start to pick up on all the little things that happen w/girls you never noticed before, you feel 10 times better on Sundays, and you save a lot of money that can be put to better use elsewhere.

Post: #152

I've been seriously considering a full exodus from drinking for 3+ months.

I'm in, but can't realistically commit until Feb. 1. After 4 years of being too lazy to move, a post from Fisto convinced me to get rid of a bunch of shit (materialistic and women) and move into an epic new place, which is happening @ the end of January. I need a solid grill and pool party there--at least once--before I give up the sauce. Just being realistic.

If enough people are serious about this, we should start a separate thread for everyone on the wagon. I doubt many need a support group, but I am interested to read and share experiences/insights from members on the forum, esp. regarding closing a ONS without drinks. I've done it a few times in the US, but @ 28 and smashing 22 y/o chicks via Tinder...abstinence from the drink may raise the floor, a bit.

Post: #153

This thread is having a serious psychological impact on my brain. The weekend was a cluster fuck as usual and ironically I did better sober than drunk for the first time ever.

Doesn't help that all the bartenders know me so I get hooked up and way too drunk wayy too fast. Time to kick the habit entirely or at least do so for a year.

Fuck it.

Going to nix all liquor from now till mid jan sticking with bubbles and wine, then just stop. Drinking is just a shitty bad habit.

Post: #154

I'm officially on the wagon.

Almost had a punch-up with my best friend on the weekend, said some things to others that I wasn't proud of, and spent too much money. Don't know if it'll be year, but I'm at least going to go one day at a time.

Post: #155

Just saw this thread, I actually started my own 1 year dry spell last Wednesday. Got through the first weekend. Now there's New Year's and about 50 more to go. Had been spinning pretty out of control with my alcohol binges, have been charged with a DUI recently. My chance to get out is the fact that the Police very much paid no attention to my rights, and did some very sketchy shit....but we'll see.

Post: #156

Glad I could help ; )

Post: #157

I know it is tough out there.

Certainly has been for me.

So here is some motivation from 80 years ago:

Post: #158

Alpha Mind, glad to have you on board. February 1 is a luxuriously late start date, which has the added benefit of the first month of your wagon being a short one...

I hope that over time this thread can be a place for people to share their wagon experiences, good or bad, as the year goes on. I think there is some integrity in having guys' initial commitment and start date posts as well as subsequent updates all be collected in the same place.

Post: #159

WestCoast, sounds like a smart decision. Welcome on board, and I hope you'll post a starting date in mid January once you settle on one.

Post: #160

Frontenac, good to hear you're in.

I hope you will consider giving it a full year -- I think that is a useful and honorable commitment. Some of the deepest changes really kick in months down the road, as many as 6-9 months, and you need more time for them to ripen. In a year you'll have a much better idea of where you stand.

Post: #161

Slim Shady, so you're in as of December 11th.

Sounds like a wise and necessary decision. Some of these first weekends might seem on the dull side... just roll with it. Good luck with the DUI.

Post: #162

(12-16-2013 08:57 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote:  Slim Shady, so you're in as of December 11th.

Sounds like a wise and necessary decision. Some of these first weekends might seem on the dull side... just roll with it. Good luck with the DUI.

Yeah the 11th was my last night drinking. And thanks.

Post: #163

Hell, I'm in, going to bar with everyone with their faces glued to their phones with only me try to start a conversation is not that fun anymore. After I finish my 2 bottles of mead.

Post: #164

Felix88, welcome aboard and I hope you'll post more updates on the thread as time goes on.

Post: #165

Waiting for this date is agonizing, each time I drink I feel bad for myself and think to myself, how am I going to do this?

Post: #166

(12-18-2013 01:58 PM)Biz Wrote:  Waiting for this date is agonizing, each time I drink I feel bad for myself and think to myself, how am I going to do this?

Biz, I think you may be setting too many goals for yourself all at once and feeling a little overwhelmed as a result. You wrote in a previous post:

Quote:My goals, all of which alcohol has been the majority part of me not pursuing or accomplishing...

Saving money
Getting out of debt
Personality
Anxiety
Social awkwardness
Procrastination
No FAP
Passions
Getting laid
Etc.

These may all be worthy goals but this is a long list. I noticed that you're also posting on the NoFap thread.

It's better to take things one goal at a time and one step at a time. That way you don't need to feel overwhelmed and you build momentum as time goes on. By the way, a part of anxiety is trying to solve your problems all at once -- anxiety is impatient and always wants to short-circuit everything. Instead, you should accept that all these things take time and are best done gradually.

Just start by focusing on the drinking since it's the big one and as you correctly recognize it's the "majority part" of not being able to do all the other things.

As far as the drinking goes: don't worry about feeling bad for yourself. All you need to do is not have any more drinks for any reason starting January 6th. However it makes you feel, just ignore it because what you "feel" on this or that day is of no real importance. These feelings will probably remain for a while, so don't fight them -- just accept that they're there and put them out of your mind. All that really matters is just sticking to the decision and you are more than capable of doing that.

Post: #167

(12-18-2013 01:58 PM)Biz Wrote:  Waiting for this date is agonizing, each time I drink I feel bad for myself and think to myself, how am I going to do this?

Did you check out the Allen Carr book recommended by BB?

One read of that made me want to drink less almost immediately. It's like reverse-brainwashing.

I have been out several times in the last few weeks and had some beers with friends (I start my no alcohol challenge on Jan 1st) but my intake was much lower than usual but not because I was limiting myself. I just didn't want to drink anymore. Sure enough, people were pushing me to have more so I just drank more slowly. SO NICE TO HAVE NO HANGOVER the next day! Definitely read the book. It's great even if you don't plan on giving up completely.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Easy-Way-Stop-...r+drinking

Post: #168

I don't post much around here but I lurk alot.

I think I'm in for the challenge as well but I'm going to throw out a little different perspective.

I've quit smoking for 8 years now by Allen Carrs Easyway to Qut Smoking. I also read his quit drinking book a few times and it definitely worked but for some reason not as good as the quit smoking book. Would go great for a month or two and then somehow just take a sip of the pitcher plant and be right back in.

I haven't seen it mentioned here but Jack Trimpseys Rational Recovery is also a great book and I think the two complement each other very well. While helpful, the book isn't even necessary, a brief summary was enough for me http://www.rational.org/index.php?id=36

Post: #169

scubadude, thanks for the link.

If you decide that you're in, please follow up and post a starting date.

Post: #170

Just came across this:

Drunken monkey hypothesis

Quote:The drunken monkey hypothesis proposes that human attraction to ethanol may have a genetic basis due to the high dependence of the primate ancestor of Homo sapiens on fruit as a food source. Ethanol naturally occurs in ripe and overripe fruit and consequently early primates developed a genetically based attraction to the substance.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drunken_monkey_hypothesis

Post: #171

(12-19-2013 02:32 AM)cardguy Wrote:  Just came across this:

Drunken monkey hypothesis

Quote:The drunken monkey hypothesis proposes that human attraction to ethanol may have a genetic basis due to the high dependence of the primate ancestor of Homo sapiens on fruit as a food source. Ethanol naturally occurs in ripe and overripe fruit and consequently early primates developed a genetically based attraction to the substance.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drunken_monkey_hypothesis

You been searching the web for a reason to start drinking again, cardguy? lol

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #172

@Lizard, thanks for the help so far. You will definitely be a great resource during this.

I also think that has been a big problem for me now and in the past when it comes to changing things or trying to do things. I try and do way too many things at the same time.

You are totally right, I should just focus on the major problem. Because, like I listed, basically all those other problems come from drinking. Those other problems will be much easier to solve once the major problem is solved.

Post: #173

(12-18-2013 08:33 PM)dreambig Wrote:  

(12-18-2013 01:58 PM)Biz Wrote:  Waiting for this date is agonizing, each time I drink I feel bad for myself and think to myself, how am I going to do this?

Did you check out the Allen Carr book recommended by BB?

One read of that made me want to drink less almost immediately. It's like reverse-brainwashing.

I have been out several times in the last few weeks and had some beers with friends (I start my no alcohol challenge on Jan 1st) but my intake was much lower than usual but not because I was limiting myself. I just didn't want to drink anymore. Sure enough, people were pushing me to have more so I just drank more slowly. SO NICE TO HAVE NO HANGOVER the next day! Definitely read the book. It's great even if you don't plan on giving up completely.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Easy-Way-Stop-...r+drinking

I actually read the book 2 years ago, made a lot of sense when I read it, I don't remember much of it. But, thinking back, at the time I was probably not ready to quit. I still have the book and will read it right before I start the challenge so its fresh in my head.

I have 'The Easy Way to Stop Drinking', there is also 'The Easy Way to Control Drinking'. Is there a difference book wise? I'm sure its basically the same thing.

Post: #174

@BeyondBorders - Nah. I was just fell into a wikipedia hole. I can't even remember what I was originally looking for.

Post: #175

(12-19-2013 03:54 PM)cardguy Wrote:  @BeyondBorders - Nah. I was just fell into a wikipedia hole. I can't even remember what I was originally looking for.

Right on. I was just giving you a hard time. I stumble across all kinds of shit in my aimless internet wanderings.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling