Lizard - yes, I'm in for the full year as of today. As always, I appreciate your comments.

I'm going to spend all of 2015 with no alcohol whatsoever.

Less than a month to to reach a year. Still no idea what I'll decide what to do at that point, maybe limit myself to a single serving a week, if I even drink.

I am on some strong meds, that gets processed in my liver, so I haven't had alcohol for the last 1½ year. I don't miss it anymore, at least not the way I used too. From time to time, especially when I'm cooking, I get the urge to pour myself a glass of wine, or get a cold beer to my steak. For the past three month though I have started to drink alcohol free beer, which is kind of cheating since they contain 0.09% alcohol. I don't know for how long my treatment will last, but I don't think I will ever get drunk again. I don't need it anymore, and the day after is so much better, no hangovers and a thicker wallet.

BOOM!!!
I have done it.
1 year of no alcohol. Started 12/1/2013.
It was a slugfest for a good chuck of that year. Cravings were strong and frequent. One day at a time is how I got through the cravings, i.e. telling myself I do not drink today but can tomorrow if I want to.

In the 9th month I became aware that the cravings had lost a lot of strength and were mostly gone. Sure, I would think about how good a beer would be on a hot weekend afternoon, but that was all it was, a thought. I had crossed over from where not drinking was a fight to where it was a part of who I am.

The plan now is to go at least until the new year consuming no alcohol. I like the thought that 2014 was a dry year for me. Plus, I want to consider my rules for drinking. I know I can not do what I had done in the past and will have to figure out a way to keep a better grip on alcohol. Maybe I am a drunk and will have to go on the wagon permanently. First I will see if I have the discipline to enjoy alcohol rather then abuse it as I have in the past.

Ironsun, congrats on completing the 1 year wagon. Props, and +1 rep point from me.

This was your post joining the thread. You can now reflect with pride on having stuck through with something and achieved it.

I hope you are you able to reintegrate drinking into your life in a way that is pleasurable rather than damaging, if that is what you decide to do. If it doesn't go as you want, you now know that you are capable of letting it go for a full year -- and longer, should that be necessary.

(12-24-2013 11:36 AM)Ironsun Wrote:  Hey guys,
I am in and will commit to not drinking for 1 full year.
I am a binge drinker and have been for too long. In the past I have gone 1, 2, 3 weeks with no alcohol, but always have ended up back where I have tried to get away from, i.e. drinking too much and maybe a borderline alcoholic.

I stopped drinking on 12/1 with the goal to go to my birthday in the summer, putting it just over 6 months of wagon riding. I saw this post a few days ago and dismissed it immediately as being way to long. However, it has been gnawing at me and I have decided to go for the whole year as it feels to be the right thing at this time for me to commit to and do. I am looking forward to this journey and to the changes that come from it.

A brief note.

I posted this thread exactly 1 year ago today. The response to it over time has exceeded all my expectations. I feel happy and privileged that this thread has changed the lives of some good men for the better -- and that it continues to do so.

Even though the thread title refers to the year 2014, I believe that there is great and lasting value in the experience contained in all the posts throughout the thread. So rather than turn over and start a new thread for the coming year, I feel it's best to keep this one going.

The 1 year drinking wagon challenge is extended to 2015 for those who would like to join -- or for those already on board who would like to remain.

The thread goes on.

Ironsun, Happy to hear you have finally 'conditioned' your brain to stop craving the cocktails, it got really hard for me after the 4th month or so, and got to the point where I had practically chosen specific dates where I knew I would have nothing to worry about as the day I would drink again. It sort of eases my constant worry that I have that this feeling will be here forever, and I felt a big wave of relief seeing that you said it waned off after about 9 months. Obviously every case will be different but your first post on the thread basically mirrors my experience, although I have to admit that I drank alone quite a bit, and I would also do a lot of drugs when I was drunk as well. In my more lucid moments I wonder what the point of it all was, but the feeling creeps back when I least expect it.

Around a month for me on the Komatiite Wagon 2.0, looking forward to the rest of the ride. Thanks for the post Ironsun, and congrats on the year.

Fucking awesome.

Yes. Good stuff everyone.

Congrats to Ironsun and thanks to Lizard of Oz for this thread.


I will use this occasion to manifest a couple of thoughts in digital reality. This will probably turn into a personal, nasty, sobstory, so feel free to skip it. You have been warned


I joined the wagon on August 19th 2014 without knowledge of this thread. I committed to an indefinite time without alcohol back then, but after having come across this thread, I believe one year is perfect. So, for the record, here is my oath

I will not drink alcohol until 19.9.2015

If I slip back into the same habits as before after a whole year sober, I have no options left but to quit drinking forever.


My life before the wagon:

I would drink every day. Every day. The question wasn't whether I would drink, but when would I start and how much would I need to function.

Being in a line of work where alcohol on the job is not exactly unheard of, I would sometimes have an espresso with cognac the first thing in the afternoon (work starts at 3 o'clock PM) If it was a good day, I would wait until it was "socially acceptable" and have beers with coworkers around 8PM (still on the job, mind you).

After work I would bend the rules of the universe just to get a bit more, for a bit longer. I spent money I didn't have, stayed up past times I shouldn't, missed appointments I should have attended, neglected friends and family that I should have taken care of.

The amount of trouble I got into is ridiculous. I shouldn't even be alive, or free (as in, not in prison). I'm deleting words right now, that I have already written, because I don't even want to admit those things - anonymously, on the internet, to like minded people.

Because I had been drinking every day for so long, I actually thought all this drama, violence and negativity was part of who I was.

In my mind, I was drinking away the pain caused by reality. When in reality, it were the effects of drink that caused the pain.

That's what a vicious cycle is. And I had heard it a thousand times, but only now do I realize what it really is - and why it's called "vicious" and not just "cycle".

The amounts I would drink were extreme. No need for details, but it was consistently exactly the amount my body could handle without having to be hospitalized.
During the last months of all of this, I sometimes missed a train to work on purpose, because I felt I couldn't handle the ride. I stood before it, as it arrived, and upon seeing the people inside and the moving doors, I felt nauseated. Once inside, I had to close my eyes and concentrate hard on not throwing up or collapsing. -And that was just a normal day, every day.

What amazes me is that you can actually function like this. Everyone knew what I was doing, and I'm sure I have been called an alcoholic behind my back (rightfully so). Still I did my work very reasonably by my own standards, and way better than most (okay, I'm a cook, not a lawyer, but a respectable one, working in upscale establishments)

The wake-up call came when somebody was promoted ahead of me, who by himself totally deserved it, but wasn't any better than me. I confronted my boss about it (furiously and not exactly sober, like always) and he told me he didn't like my attitude. He said I was constantly angry and unpredictably moody.

My ego deeply wounded I quit on the spot without any back-up plan or money. Only some time after that I realized I had to change.
When even a fellow cook (the worst of all humans) couldn't look past my "habit", then nobody could.

At this point I'm broke, jobless, grossly out of shape, smoking 1 - 2 packs a day and drinking whiskey straight from the bottle right out of bed (I wish I was exaggerating). I'm beginning experience changes in my cognitive abilities (for the worse) - literally brain damage.

3 months and 14 days later:

- My new job pays twice as much as the old one and I'm in the position that I missed when I wasn't promoted.

- I haven't smoked a cigarette since.

- I run, cycle, swim or lift at least 3 times a week - I'm amazed at how quickly my body changed to the better.

- My only current addiction is Japanese green tea and music.

- I have made an almost super-human progress in my Russian studies.

- My mood is stable, my thoughts are mostly positive. Friends are genuinely impressed by the new person that I am.



I could write so much more about so many things. But the main point is this: Between the "me" now and the "me" 4 months ago is only one difference - alcohol.

One drank it, the other didn't. Nothing else changed.


Even after August I never want to get drunk again. I want to be able to blend in on parties, not being the odd-one-out who doesn't drink, but I don't want drink for the effect of getting drunk ever again.

If I relapse after August, getting drunk when I said I only want to drink socially, then I have to quit for good. It is a real possibility, but for now the only goal is August 19th 2015.


Okay, signing off.

God bless you if you read all of this. May the force be with you.

Congrats to Ironsun and best of luck and Godspeed to those currently on the wagon.

I recently hit the 6 month mark. The first few months I still had minor cravings here and there. Now those cravings for booze have dwindled to nothing. I am exceedingly pleased at this stage of the wagon as its the first time in my adult life the cravings for booze are no longer there.

Physically and mentally I have never felt better in my adult life. I feel as though I have a relaxed energy most of the time now which previously I needed a drink to attain. Now it seems its just recognizing stress/problems and removing it from my life is proving much more effective at achieving sustained happiness as opposed to my old ways of avoiding my problems and using booze for the quick fix. Also there is no longer a nagging voice in the back of my head as I am going about my day which is telling me how much more at peace I will feel once I have some booze.

Beyond the stress reliever alcohol always was the other main crutch in my use was needing alcohol to make situations interesting/fun to prevent a boredom from life as Lizard brought up earlier in this thread. Honestly that was one of the most difficult parts earlier in my wagon was dealing with what felt like boredom by not altering my mental state and getting drunk. At six months in it seems hard to believe I really involved alcohol in as many situations as I did and the hold it held over me for believing it was a necessary ingredient to making life more interesting/fun. At points in my life I literally treated most activities like they would be better with booze to the extent I couldn't fully enjoy them without it. Now I have completely turned around in that respect and no longer feel a "boredness" with life which makes me second guess an activity or social occasion that I would have to do sober. Today I am at complete peace without booze. Its no longer a stress reliever or a situation enhancer. To those starting off on the wagon keep with it especially during the first couple months as you will find it gets much easier with time to live a life free of booze the longer you abstain from it.

I haven't had a drink in 6.5 months. Or been to an AA meeting in 4.5 months (they were depressing, and I thought being told I was powerless and could never drink again was bullshit). On top of that, they are hardcore evangelical Christian, despite the soft pedaling higher power nonsense. I wasn't about to trade Johnny Walker for a new imaginary friend named Jesus. A false prophet is a false prophet.

My initial motivation in getting sober was pure Machiavellian self interest. My business had failed, and I realized I could not afford to maintain an estranged relationship with my family. I had basically given them a huge fuck you when I left for California a few years ago. Going into "recovery" was my strategy to get a free pass on that behavior and avoid being disinherited. It worked.

Although my initial intention was cynical, I have learned quite a lot.

I fully intend to start drinking again, and smoking pot, but within limits, and not until a year has passed.

The most important thing you can do is exercise. It actually works. Everything else is basically a placebo.

Second most important thing is your mental/inner game.

There was one book I read, that despite being written by someone who is an AA member and a Christian, was nonetheless very interesting in terms of the perspective it offered on the human experience.

Magnificent Desolation by Buzz Aldrin. He was/is an alcoholic and depressive.

So, basically Buzz Aldrin goes to the fucking moon, and is quite literally treated like a God afterward. World wide fame, fortune, women throwing themselves at him.

Less than 5 years later, he is working at a car dealership in LA and drinking himself to death, basically living a shut in life at times. Venturing out of his apartment only for booze and food, emphasis on the booze, as any heavy drinker knows.

Impressive stories gentlemen.

I have regretfully slipped a few times during this year, but my consumption during 2014 has gone down dramatically compared to previous years.

Looking forward to 2015, there will be some temptation on the way but day by day I'll do my best to commit to this wagon.

11 months in and 1 month to go.

I rarely even think about alcohol now, the only exception being when really high quality craft beer or expensive wine/champagne is being offered.

The initial physical benefits seem to be giving way to mental ones. The clarity of my thinking and general levels of contentment are better than they have been for a long time. Of course this stuff can vary from day to day but there's a definite upward trend.

(12-02-2014 05:30 AM)micha Wrote:  I joined the wagon on August 19th 2014 without knowledge of this thread. I committed to an indefinite time without alcohol back then, but after having come across this thread, I believe one year is perfect. So, for the record, here is my oath

I will not drink alcohol until 19.9.2015

micha, thanks for this post and welcome aboard as of 8/19/2014.

(12-02-2014 05:30 AM)micha Wrote:  In my mind, I was drinking away the pain caused by reality. When in reality, it were the effects of drink that caused the pain.

This is exactly right. Very often men will tell themselves they are drinking because they are depressed, or anxious, or unhappy. But, while there is occasionally a grain of truth to that, the much more significant truth is that these men are mainly anxious, depressed and unhappy -- and sometimes worse -- because they are drinking. Take the booze away, and all the other problems that were supposedly "causing" the drinking tend to disappear in large part, or at least to be greatly reduced in severity.

There are, in fact, thorough and painstaking long-term studies about this very subject and the results are completely indisputable. The heaviest drinkers -- people who can properly be characterized as alcoholics -- are depressed, anxious, unhealthy in many ways, and have a variety of serious physical and psychological problems. But they are not people who were predisposed to have those problems before they began drinking heavily; rather, they are overwhelmingly people who developed these problems over time as a direct result of their drinking. Just as you describe in your post.

Thanks for the acknowledgement guys, it is appreciated.

As I was reading Lizards repost of my 1st post it occurred to me: When the student is ready the teacher will appear.
So big kudos to Lizard for kicking this thing off and sharing his insight and wisdom.

At the beginning of this journey I read up on AA, the 12 steps etc. I did not go to meetings or really follow the 12 steps, chose to fight the battle my own way. But one thing I did steal from them was the challenge coin. They give it out on the 1 year anniversary of sobriety and I liked the idea of having something tangible for doing this. Found one I liked and bought it a while back. Finally unwrapped it yesterday and will carry it as a reminder to myself of what has been accomplished.

For those guys who are nearing the end date of their 1 year wagon, I hope they give serious thought to whether or not they choose to end it there, or extend the wagon by another year and go for the deuce.

It is a decision that every man must make for himself, obviously. But in general, I'd say that the more sustained damage you've taken from drinking in the past, especially over time, the more strongly you should consider that an additional year will deepen, extend and consolidate the benefits of the 1 year wagon. Especially for those who have been bitterly hard drinkers, it can take a long time before the bad habits of the past are truly left behind; and conversely, it can also take a long time for the subtler benefits of the wagon to truly come into their own.

In any case, as the year anniversary nears, it should be taken as an opportunity to reflect on the changes, both obvious and not-so-obvious, that the wagon year has wrought; and then make a decision about whether to step off here, or allow these changes to ripen for another wagon year.

(12-02-2014 11:23 AM)Chaos Wrote:  Impressive stories gentlemen.

I have regretfully slipped a few times during this year, but my consumption during 2014 has gone down dramatically compared to previous years.

Looking forward to 2015, there will be some temptation on the way but day by day I'll do my best to commit to this wagon.

Don't do your best.

Make the promise to yourself and keep your goddamn word.

I love this fucking forum.

(12-03-2014 11:37 PM)Fisto Wrote:  

(12-02-2014 11:23 AM)Chaos Wrote:  Impressive stories gentlemen.

I have regretfully slipped a few times during this year, but my consumption during 2014 has gone down dramatically compared to previous years.

Looking forward to 2015, there will be some temptation on the way but day by day I'll do my best to commit to this wagon.

Don't do your best.

Make the promise to yourself and keep your goddamn word.

I've been following this thread a while, and I'm thinking of jumping on board here, but as you say if I'm in, I don't want to take it lightly, so I'll keep you posted. Everything others have written hits home. I'm early 30s now, and what could be considered moderate drinking in university has progressed to sometimes week long binges where I just drink till I pass out, then repeat, buy more as needed. On the other side of the coin, I have no problem not drinking, sometimes for a month straight. No cravings or anything, and when I'm working, I can moderate it fine if I drink which isn't often. I try and be as responsible as I can about my reckless drinking. No drunk driving, don't work drunk, stay away from kids, I just really seem to like getting blackout wasted and there is really nothing in my way to prevent me from responsibly (with respect to others I guess) doing so.

The latest binge was particularly good. I booked a cheap last minute flight to see my buddy. Passed out, missed my flight, paid money to change flight which is the other problem. I do pretty well with work (I let girls order appetizers), so any sense of financial motivation or responsibility just isn't there. But people say I've just started turning into a monster in the last year or so. Even wasted I seem to have a quick wit and be sociable, so I'll be cut off at bars, being by orders of magnitude the most ranting and raving and boisterous person there, throwing my hands around, but I wont be kicked out. I can get obnoxiously loud and bigoted, calling out idiots, using slurs of every variety, but that no one ever feels threatened because I usually have a huge smile and I'm happily buying more than my share of rounds. So it seems that I have the money and the attitude that others don't mind turning a blind eye.

That brings me to my theory on addicts, that people don't hate addicts and drunks so much as they hate deadbeat losers who steal to pay for their habit, but that's another post.

It was 6 days, multiple blackouts, and I'm sure at no point in those 6 days was I anywhere close to being legal to drive a car. I puked at least 4 times, fell on my face once complete with road rash, and coming home was painful. A gorgeous girl sat next to me on the plane, which never happens, and I couldn't even talk. What a wasted opportunity. I was about 15 hours without booze then, starting to get minor withdrawals, shakes/anxiety, and a foggy head. I just kept telling myself breathe, relax. No way I could have handled a conversation. I'm sure the silver dollar sized spot of road rash on my temple wouldn't have helped things. I cogently admit to myself that social drinkers not only don't get withdrawals, but they don't have a plan on how to deal with them so they can be in reasonable shape to work 2 days later. Even after I'm sober though, it's seemed lately there is a lingering 5 days or so of a "foggy head". Just my brain working slower. I'll grasp for words sometimes, just not all there. This is one thing that's really scaring me, that I could be actually changing my brain chemistry. I'm scared I may kill myself health wise, or that alongside with the loudness and uncontrollably, I'm afraid I'm going to run my mouth to the wrong person or simply stumble into a ditch and drown.

Now as convincing a case that is for jumping on board, time's like this are the exception, not the rule. I have a group of great friends scattered all over, and hands down the best ever nights any of us have ever had was when we're boozed. Getting up to funny ridiculous antics and laughing the night away over pint after pint reminiscing about inside jokes from 20 years back. That's what I'm really afraid of giving up. How have others handled that?

You're giving yourself brain damage. I mean in this the kindest way possible, this is extremely unhealthy and you need to stop drinking immediately. Who gives a crap about reminiscing sessions with your friends over beers at this point.

Yeah Seadog. The signs are clear.
Jump on the wagon.
Today.

If you're struggling with quitting, try this book. This man has saved millions from the torture of addiction.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Easy-Way-Stop-...1402736479

Edit: Oh and AA and the Big Book are bullshit. This is nothing like that.

A word of "warning" about the book from me:

Don't trust it as blindly as the "quit smoking" counterpart written by him (if you read it before). By that I mean, the book about smoking is a tremendous piece of work and I would pay people that I care about money just to read it. I know they would quit 99% chance and it would be totally worth it.

However, the book on drinking is a tad weaker I find. On multiple occasions I wanted to put it down because it's too whacky or exaggerates greatly. THEN AGAIN, it does have truth in it. You just need to absorb that truth and ignore parts that don't resonate with you. So it is important to keep reading, and finish the book, even through parts you don't like.

It's not a magic pill (whereas his book on smoking is as close to a magic pill as you can get) but it may help you.


I'm approaching my fourth month sober and I can tell you that it is absolutely worth it. The hard part is trusting the process in the beginning where life seems absolutely meaningless without booze.

If we were doomed to feel like we do during the first month of sobriety for our entire life, then by all means, we should continue to drink and eventually pay the price. BUT WE ARE NOT. We will start to feel good without alcohol. The cravings will go away. We will find new hobbies and passions. We will accept that it was a part of our life and that it is over now. Like our childhood. Sure, maybe we miss it - but we don't gloom over it every minute wishing it back. We take on our new challenges and thrive. That is part of being a man - or maybe part of becoming one