Post: #1

I made a very stupid mistake. Last night I met a chick and everything was going well. She said she was hungry and wanted to eat Korean. So we went to a Korean place. The bill came out high and I had no choice but to pay it. In the end, I come to find out she's only staying here for 3 days. Yes I know, VERY STUPID of me! Next time, this will NOT happen again!

So my question is, if a girl says she's hungry and wants to get specific food, what should I say to deter her from that?

Post: #2

I also made a stupid mistake this week. Picked up an Asian chick at a bar - a few years older than me, but good body. Wanted to bounce her to a bar near my place or go straight to my place. The bar was a short taxi ride to my place or abt 20 min walk. She had her car parked near the bar and decided to drive and park near my place. I didn't insist on taking a taxi. On the way she stopped at a gas station, and I was drunk/stupid enough to chip in for gas - just gave her $20. She's unemployed, so I though what the hell (I know, it was stupid). Anyway, we're looking for a parking spot and driving around in circles around my block. No fucking spot anywhere near, nothing on the next block either.

After a few minutes the chick pulls over and says, it was nice to meet you. You've got my number, so call me and let's meet again. I just got out of the car - not much else I could do in that situation. Lack of parking cockblocked me. Next morning woke up sober and thought - fuck you bitch, I'm not calling you. Too old, too money hungry, so fuck off.

Post: #3

So, had you banged her would that still be a waste of money?

No?

Then just bang her. Youve got 2 days on the clock.

Post: #4

(11-16-2013 04:13 PM)germanico Wrote:  So, had you banged her would that still be a waste of money?

No?

Then just bang her. Youve got 2 days on the clock.

Exactly.

Don't focus on the $17.23 bill at the Korean Restaurant.

Focus on swooping her.

Post: #5

Awesome! If this is not a troll you were worried about $$ and spooked the tail.

Post: #6

(11-16-2013 03:26 PM)cpark Wrote:  So my question is, if a girl says she's hungry and wants to get specific food, what should I say to deter her from that?

"Cool. You buyin?"

Honestly, she sounds like a small child. "I'm hungry and I want Korean!" wtf

I disagree with some of the guys here, I absolutely hate taking women to restaurants. Of course, it's your money, if you like spending it taking women out to restaurants, go ahead.

Post: #7

(11-16-2013 09:04 PM)master_thespian Wrote:  I disagree with some of the guys here, I absolutely hate taking women to restaurants. Of course, it's your money, if you like spending it taking women out to restaurants, go ahead.

You're doing it wrong.

Post: #8

OP, Game is like playing craps, sometimes your come out roll is a 7 and sometimes it's a 3. You don't know what's going to happen , so you make a judgment call depending on the situation. As you get more experience, you'll get better at reading girls and situations. Sometimes buying her food is a good move, sometimes an obvious waste.

Personally, I don't buy girls formal sit down dinners at pricy places before I bang them, and seldom afterwards. I will buy them appetizers, tapas and sushi at upscale restaurant bars though. After all, I have to eat too. And late night snacks are ok too- no big deal

Edit-one exception-SA girls-you have to play the role with them so they get the nice dinner on the first date

Post: #9

Quick game breakdown so don't get offended i have to run

1. Never let her lead, she implied she wanted food who cares.
2. Don't get late late night food unless you're trying some hailmary shit (ie you would only go to places like that to find a NEW girl for last second street game - outside)
3. Instead say "lets go" and just go straight to your apartment
or
3. Go to a VERY LIGHT food place, i am talking appetizers small chick portions and also get a glass of wine. No alcohol? Do NOT go to the spot.

Finally, unless you want to fuck fatties no one gets laid after bringing some bitch to denny's before trying to get up in there. Korean spots are generally large portions, avoid.

Post: #10

You could have fed her at your place....lead next time

Post: #11

Quote:Don't focus on the $17.23 bill at the Korean Restaurant.

Unfortunately, it came to $76 with tip. I didn't know it would be this high. Learned my lesson the hard way.

(11-16-2013 09:04 PM)master_thespian Wrote:  Honestly, she sounds like a small child. "I'm hungry and I want Korean!" wtf

I disagree with some of the guys here, I absolutely hate taking women to restaurants. Of course, it's your money, if you like spending it taking women out to restaurants, go ahead.

You're right. And unless I'm in a long term relationship, restaurants are out of the question. And I doubt I'll be in a long term relationship anyway since I just want to bang and leave these idiot girls.

(11-16-2013 09:30 PM)MrXY Wrote:  Personally, I don't buy girls formal sit down dinners at pricy places before I bang them, and seldom afterwards. I will buy them appetizers, tapas and sushi at upscale restaurant bars though.

I will be accepting this policy too. Believe me, this was a lesson learned. This won't happen again.

(11-16-2013 09:34 PM)WestCoast Wrote:  Quick game breakdown so don't get offended i have to run

1. Never let her lead, she implied she wanted food who cares.
2. Don't get late late night food unless you're trying some hailmary shit (ie you would only go to places like that to find a NEW girl for last second street game - outside)
3. Instead say "lets go" and just go straight to your apartment
or
3. Go to a VERY LIGHT food place, i am talking appetizers small chick portions and also get a glass of wine. No alcohol? Do NOT go to the spot.

You're right. Your bullet #3 is a turning point in that process. I'm taking your advice to heart.



Now, first off, I appreciate everyone's replies. They helped me a lot!

Second, here's what happened. Many of you will disagree with this, but I did it out of anger because I'm tired of being played. Here's what I did. I coincidentally saw her tonite at Times Square, the same place I met her. She was with her female friend, both Japanese. We talked a bit. But after 2 minutes, she decides suddenly to leave. I'm like, WTF? But I kept cool.

I asked them why she was leaving suddenly. She said she needed to return to her hotel, which was bullshit. I could tell they didnt want me to be with them. Then in her broken English she said, "Ok, you go to train." I'm like, WTF? Then I got angry. I asked for her iphone and let it fall. I said, "Sorry." As I handed it back, I let it fall again all on purpose. I then flicked my finger at her face painfully. As I left, I saw her having a hard time turning her phone back on.

I know this is cruel. But I was very angry. This highlights something I've long noticed. That Japanese girls who come to USA have a huge flake rate, despite their "love" for American culture. I seriously don't understand why Japanese girls are so flaky and tricky like this. But in the future, I know exactly how to treat them. Anyway, I've learned my lesson and will apply the advice all of you gave me. Thanks guys!

Post: #12

(11-18-2013 01:06 AM)cpark Wrote:  Second, here's what happened. Many of you will disagree with this, but I did it out of anger because I'm tired of being played. Here's what I did. I coincidentally saw her tonite at Times Square, the same place I met her. She was with her female friend, both Japanese. We talked a bit. But after 2 minutes, she decides suddenly to leave. I'm like, WTF? But I kept cool.

NEXT! That is the easiest way to keep cool. And more importantly, to keep from playing yourself.

(11-18-2013 01:06 AM)cpark Wrote:  I asked them why she was leaving suddenly. She said she needed to return to her hotel, which was bullshit. I could tell they didnt want me to be with them. Then in her broken English she said, "Ok, you go to train." I'm like, WTF? Then I got angry. I asked for her iphone and let it fall. I said, "Sorry." As I handed it back, I let it fall again all on purpose. I then flicked my finger at her face painfully. As I left, I saw her having a hard time turning her phone back on.

Unless you've been getting inspiration from some classic El Mech revenge stories (where I should note, the girls seemed to have deserved it) then I'm not sure where you got the "Iphone smash and face poke" move...

Might wanna drop that one from the playbook.

(11-18-2013 01:06 AM)cpark Wrote:  I know this is cruel. But I was very angry. This highlights something I've long noticed. That Japanese girls who come to USA have a huge flake rate, despite their "love" for American culture. I seriously don't understand why Japanese girls are so flaky and tricky like this. But in the future, I know exactly how to treat them. Anyway, I've learned my lesson and will apply the advice all of you gave me. Thanks guys!

Bitterness is more likely to get you the same results rather than reflecting on self-improvement.

How big is this sample size of "Japanese girls visiting America who have personally flaked on me"?

I suspect that's not true across the board, and as a point of advice, if each time you attribute the lack of closing to a girl's culture, then it takes you down another road of excuses/blame rather than introspection.


Are you someone who is typically an over-achiever in other areas of life (i.e. school, work, etc.)?

I ask because it sounds like you are very hard on yourself when it comes to mistakes.

Even the most veteran guys get rejected or fail now and then, but if you have such an extreme reaction each time, you will have an even harder time reaching your goals.

Even though I'm not one to use the term "inner game" much, I would suggest reading some threads related to that stuff, or clearly figuring out what you want for both girls and lifestyle (i.e. if you enjoy certain restaurants, sometimes you'll want a girl with you, there's no black/white rules.)

Gradually work on getting out of your comfort zone with different types of approaches, and it will help with taking the pressure off when a date happens, as you will be more relaxed with an abundance mentality.

Hope this helps, let us know how things progress.

Post: #13

I simultaneously was smacking my forehead and laughing at the "she wants to leave? fine I will smash her iphone!" game.

While that shit might make you feel better, it won't help you get laid.

Post: #14

(11-18-2013 02:07 AM)LeBeau Wrote:  

(11-18-2013 01:06 AM)cpark Wrote:  [quote='cpark' pid='580991' dateline='1384754765']
I asked them why she was leaving suddenly. She said she needed to return to her hotel, which was bullshit. I could tell they didnt want me to be with them. Then in her broken English she said, "Ok, you go to train." I'm like, WTF? Then I got angry. I asked for her iphone and let it fall. I said, "Sorry." As I handed it back, I let it fall again all on purpose. I then flicked my finger at her face painfully. As I left, I saw her having a hard time turning her phone back on.

Unless you've been getting inspiration from some classic El Mech revenge stories (where I should note, the girls seemed to have deserved it) then I'm not sure where you got the "Iphone smash and face poke" move...

Might wanna drop that one from the playbook.

Ha.

The "Iphone smash and face poke" move.

This is starting to get ridiculous.

Quote:But after 2 minutes, she decides suddenly to leave. I'm like, WTF? But I kept cool.

I asked them why she was leaving suddenly. She said she needed to return to her hotel, which was bullshit. I could tell they didnt want me to be with them.

If she left, how did you ask her why she left?

Doesn't really make sense.

Did you chase her down the street?

----

Bottom line, get a grip.

If you take this stuff personally and aren't having fun you will lose every time.

Post: #15

First off, get your anger and negativity under control. It's not attractive to women. Maybe they are flaking on you because they don't like the vibe your giving off.

Why didn't you go for the bang after the restaurant? I don't see why her being a tourist should be a problem. Most girls act sluttier on vacation.

Post: #16

Don't offer to buy dinner if you can't afford to spend that amount of money, regardless of outcome

Post: #17

(11-18-2013 11:58 AM)Mikev75 Wrote:  First off, get your anger and negativity under control. It's not attractive to women. Maybe they are flaking on you because they don't like the vibe your giving off.

Why didn't you go for the bang after the restaurant? I don't see why her being a tourist should be a problem. Most girls act sluttier on vacation.

Yeah.

Something about this story isn't adding up.

Post: #18

(11-16-2013 03:26 PM)cpark Wrote:  The bill came out high and I had no choice but to pay it.

Actually, yes you did have a choice. You always have a choice. Don't play the "woe is me" card and act like you had no choice.

I ran up an international cell phone bill back in the day for the better part of 2,000 dollars. The girl agreed IN WRITING to pay for it, then she reneged and I was effectively stuck with the bill. I take full responsibility for it and my idiotic choices.

You fucked up on an "expensive dinner" and then act like you had no choice in the matter. I have no pity for you at all because you offload the blame onto the situation ("I had no choice but to pay it"). You had many choices, including up to and including the time the bill came. The bill is for the table, not just for you.

Post: #19

(11-18-2013 05:42 PM)AneroidOcean Wrote:  

(11-16-2013 03:26 PM)cpark Wrote:  The bill came out high and I had no choice but to pay it.

Actually, yes you did have a choice. You always have a choice. Don't play the "woe is me" card and act like you had no choice.

I ran up an international cell phone bill back in the day for the better part of 2,000 dollars. The girl agreed IN WRITING to pay for it, then she reneged and I was effectively stuck with the bill. I take full responsibility for it and my idiotic choices.

You fucked up on an "expensive dinner" and then act like you had no choice in the matter. I have no pity for you at all because you offload the blame onto the situation ("I had no choice but to pay it"). You had many choices, including up to and including the time the bill came. The bill is for the table, not just for you.

Eh, Forget it. Part of being a man is not worrying about this chicken shit. If you're one of those dudes hyper focused on this stuff you're going to blow a lot of tail out of the water in your life. Chill out, be calm, cool and the ass will flow like wine forever.

Post: #20

(11-18-2013 02:07 AM)LeBeau Wrote:  NEXT! That is the easiest way to keep cool. And more importantly, to keep from playing yourself.

You're right. But after spending $76 at a restaurant, I expected at least a little respect than for her to want to disappear after that. That was rude on her part.

Quote:How big is this sample size of "Japanese girls visiting America who have personally flaked on me"?

I can't give you a sample size since I don't know. But based on my experience I've noticed that Japanese girls exhibit a high flake rate. I never experienced this high of a rate with other girls from Asia.

Quote:Are you someone who is typically an over-achiever in other areas of life (i.e. school, work, etc.)?
I ask because it sounds like you are very hard on yourself when it comes to mistakes.

I'm not an over-achiever. But, I do pressure myself when it comes to mistakes. I expect a lot out of myself and am thinking I got little time like I'm getting older and need to get girls now. This is an inner game issue like you said. Its hard for me to accept things considering these issues. It's what I got to work on somehow.

Quote:Even the most veteran guys get rejected or fail now and then, but if you have such an extreme reaction each time, you will have an even harder time reaching your goals.

I know. But $76 for food doesn't justify her to disrespect me. You just don't do that to people.

Thank you for the help. I apprecaite it. These are issues I got to work on. I'm also a negative thinker which is something I need to turn around. And also to learn to accept things as they are.

(11-18-2013 10:31 AM)thegmanifesto Wrote:  If you take this stuff personally and aren't having fun you will lose every time.

I hugely agree. When I go out there, I feel like it's more like a chore than a fun thing to do. I need to be more positive and not pressure myself.

(11-18-2013 11:58 AM)Mikev75 Wrote:  First off, get your anger and negativity under control. It's not attractive to women. Maybe they are flaking on you because they don't like the vibe your giving off.

Why didn't you go for the bang after the restaurant? I don't see why her being a tourist should be a problem. Most girls act sluttier on vacation.

It's interesting you said that. One girl months ago said she sensed some negativity from me. And she was right. God knows how many girls felt this from me and didn't tell me. Looking back on this, its sad that I wasted the wrong energy this way.

About your 2nd question, after the restaurant she felt sleepy and wanted to go back to her hotel which was a block away. Maybe she would've let me go to her hotel room. Who knows? I didn't ask to come up because I was a stupid nice guy. Next time an opportunity opens up, I'm going to take it whatever the odds.

Thank you for the advice. It's something on I'm working on currently.

Post: #21

(11-18-2013 01:06 AM)cpark Wrote:  Second, here's what happened. Many of you will disagree with this, but I did it out of anger because I'm tired of being played. Here's what I did. I coincidentally saw her tonite at Times Square, the same place I met her. She was with her female friend, both Japanese. We talked a bit. But after 2 minutes, she decides suddenly to leave. I'm like, WTF? But I kept cool.

I asked them why she was leaving suddenly. She said she needed to return to her hotel, which was bullshit. I could tell they didnt want me to be with them. Then in her broken English she said, "Ok, you go to train." I'm like, WTF? Then I got angry. I asked for her iphone and let it fall. I said, "Sorry." As I handed it back, I let it fall again all on purpose. I then flicked my finger at her face painfully. As I left, I saw her having a hard time turning her phone back on.

Post: #22

players offer the least and get the most.

Post: #23

(11-18-2013 01:06 AM)cpark Wrote:  I asked them why she was leaving suddenly. She said she needed to return to her hotel, which was bullshit. I could tell they didnt want me to be with them. Then in her broken English she said, "Ok, you go to train." I'm like, WTF? Then I got angry. I asked for her iphone and let it fall. I said, "Sorry." As I handed it back, I let it fall again all on purpose. I then flicked my finger at her face painfully. As I left, I saw her having a hard time turning her phone back on.

This part cracks me up, I had to re-read it.

What does "I then flicked my finger at her face painfully" mean?

Did you flick her in the eye or something?

Did you make contact?

Or hurt your self flicking the air?

Were you "Throwing shit on girl"?

What's the "painfully" part refer to?

Please advise.

Post: #24

Korean food ain't cheap. I don't see why though. It's mostly pork and cabbage. There's nothing special about it. I've never been hungry and thought "mmmmm some Korean food would hit the spot".

I'm glad you learned your lesson.

Post: #25

(11-18-2013 06:28 PM)cpark Wrote:  You're right. But after spending $76 at a restaurant, I expected at least a little respect than for her to want to disappear after that. That was rude on her part.

You seem to have a problem with taking personal responsibility.

It is not her responsibility to hang out with you or do anything with you after you paid for her dinner. You chose to pay for her dinner. She didn't say, "Oh I have no money but I want to keep hanging out, I assumed you were going to pay for dinner, I'm sorry" and then you went and paid and then she said "Psyche! See you later sucker." No that did not happen.

You seem to want to play the victim. If you didn't want to pay for her dinner, you could've just paid for your part and she has to figure out her part. What you did is pay for it EVEN THOUGH YOU DIDN'T WANT TO and then try to continue hanging out with her. She could probably tell you didn't want to pay for her or that you were being negative and then she didn't want to hang out with you.

She has no obligation to you, you have an obligation to YOURSELF to be honest and true to yourself. When you deceive yourself, you will ALWAYS be unhappy.

You were not honest with yourself and you were not honest with her. Who was being rude in this situation? Probably you. It is not what you want to hear, but once you accept the truth and accept your own mistakes, you can move forward and be a lot happier.