Post: #1

The age old question. What do y'all think is the key to having success on dating sites. I'm sure this has been discussed several times in the past on here. So I won't make this too long. Despite girls on there having tons of options, I've heard of some dudes that get so many dates and lays from them, they want to kiss the feet of whoever invented it.

And on the flip side, there are the dudes like some of us that.. well, don't have that luck. I'm black and over time, I've had 8's and 9's, white girls, black, spanish, etc. give me the eye contact outside when I'm out and about. So I'm thankful for that. But on the dating sites, even the 6's and 7's don't bother emailing back. The most I've seen is they will check my page out 3 or 4 times over the course of a couple days. Like I'm on their mind and got them "almost" there, but not quite. I don't know if it's smiling more, certain types of pics, or what. Like there's a secret recipe that no matter who the girl is, if you find out how to sell your profile a certain particular way, then you are made for life!

Post: #2

My nonscientific observation says that you have to look good on paper, and check off the most common female demands, both conscious and subconscious.

I feel that a > 6'0 white man, living in a city, with good facial aesthetics, above average physique, and subtle DHV/confidence in his profile will be top tier among men in OKC. Throw in professional quality face shots and tight profile text too.

I've also seen that quite a few guys in OKC in NYC with more than a green dot play to the artsy niche. I remember one guy who basically came off like a minor rock star through his pictures and text, he mentioned "no hard feelings if I don't reply to your message", and had the red dot to prove it.

So that's my two cents.

Post: #3

My friend with minimal game who was white, blonde, over 6'3", and ripped "killed" it online -- but the girls were always at least 1 step below what he should have been pulling. Anecdotal, but this seems to match what I've seen from others'.

Post: #4

There's an entire 100+ page thread dedicated to this topic with TONS of extremely useful tips.

/thread-3601.html

There are guys on the forum who got into online dating and became quite successful at online dating, BECAUSE of that thread.

And no, you DO NOT have to be a 6'0+ ripped white guy to "kill" it.

Post: #5

(07-28-2013 03:53 AM)haywire Wrote:  There's an entire 100+ page thread dedicated to this topic with TONS of extremely useful tips.

/thread-3601.html

There are guys on the forum who got into online dating and became quite successful at online dating, BECAUSE of that thread.

And no, you DO NOT have to be a 6'0+ ripped white guy to "kill" it.

Is there any wiki or summary of the finer points of that thread?

Post: #6

(07-28-2013 03:53 AM)haywire Wrote:  There's an entire 100+ page thread dedicated to this topic with TONS of extremely useful tips.

/thread-3601.html

There are guys on the forum who got into online dating and became quite successful at online dating, BECAUSE of that thread.

And no, you DO NOT have to be a 6'0+ ripped white guy to "kill" it.

that thread on OK Stupid is gold, it upped my ROI on Eharmony by 400%, I started with 6"s and better and as my profile got more refined, my responses got better worded and my confidence grew, so did the quality of lizard i could pull on there but you gota work at it, it takes time, practice and game.

Its taken me a year to get my game working ok on EH, I have not got truck loads of lays but i have nailed the ones i wanted to and let the ones i did not , go...its my catch and release program at work and its good fishing for any man who puts the effort in.

So in short, do the research, refine your profile and work on your inner and outer game, and online dating will come good for you

Post: #7

(07-28-2013 04:07 AM)basilransom Wrote:  

(07-28-2013 03:53 AM)haywire Wrote:  There's an entire 100+ page thread dedicated to this topic with TONS of extremely useful tips.

/thread-3601.html

There are guys on the forum who got into online dating and became quite successful at online dating, BECAUSE of that thread.

And no, you DO NOT have to be a 6'0+ ripped white guy to "kill" it.

Is there any wiki or summary of the finer points of that thread?

A few things I have noticed:

You will need good photos.

Copy/paste openers can work. I tried sending them messages that were tailored to their profile.

Try to get them offline as quickly as possible, a lot of them are just there for the attention and have no intention of going on any dates.

In general, meet them for drinks. Or you can meet them at a coffee shop and try to do a venue change and go to a bar. The more places she sees you and her together, the better.

Do kino and escalate and bring her home and run tuthmothis first date bang recipe.

Always keep your frame and don't fall for her shit tests.

The flake rate will be high, it isn't a bad idea to double book multiple dates for the same afternoon or evening.

If you have a tight online game with the instant messaging and the private messaging, you may be able to get her to just go straight to your house for sex.

Have I forgotten anything? For the photos, if you have a specific skill, it can be good to show a photo of you doing that skill of you surfing, cooking, dancing, etc. it can be a good demonstration of higher value.

For your best bet, do searches for women that have recently joined the site. They will have not been corrupted by betas constantly telling them how beautiful they are and inflating their egos beyond repair.

Edit, a few other things- you still need strong game, inner game, and to actually be an interesting person, if you try to portray yourself as an interesting person on your online profile but are nothing like that in real life, it will be incongruent when you do meet the women. Work on your inner game so that you really are solid and someone that women will want to meet.

from what i undestand, okcupid is probably getting the most traffic and is considered the best bet in many cities. tindr and pof can be OK, tindr is still pretty new(I haven't tried it but a lot of guys are having success, I am in a LTR, don't laugh)

seeking arrangement game, well really that is a whole other thread. I think hotwheels coined the phrase that you will not be paying the sugar babies any allowance but rather share your wealth with them by going on fun dates. Do not use your real name or real house/apartment with these sugar babies(rent hotel rooms). Otherwise just meet them, take them out and treat them like any other slut you met off of okcupid. You can try to tell them that you will not be paying them any money until after you have sex, because you would not buy a car without giving it a test drive.

Post: #8

(07-29-2013 05:54 AM)master_thespian Wrote:  Copy/paste openers can work. I tried sending them messages that were tailored to their profile.

I tried the personalized copy/paste, but doing it took about 45 minutes. Now I just do generic copy/paste, it takes about 3 minutes and the number of replies are the same, actually...they're a little better. Weird.

Quote:Try to get them offline as quickly as possible, a lot of them are just there for the attention and have no intention of going on any dates.

This. There are some girls that even tell you, "so when are we meeting?". Or, "When are you free for some drinks?".
[/quote]

Post: #9

Oh, the program on okcupid called 'your best face' really does work. Use the photos that get the highest ratings that women choose that they actually like. Delete the photos that get bad ratings. The photos are so important in online dating just to get the girls to be willing to meet you.

Post: #10

+1 to the OKCupid thread. There is a lot of info there, and it does take time to read it, but it is well worth it in the end.

master_thespian does a good job of picking out some of the highlights, but there is so much that can only be gained by following the discussion as a whole. Improved my OKC game immensely.

Post: #11

Photos are the single highest impact aspect of it. You have to stand out in a sea of guys. If your photos are shitty like most guys', then you're just an anonymous face. Get some interesting cool high quality photos that make you look good.

I noticed a HUGE increase in my success after changing out some old photos for better new ones. Several factors were at play:

1. Old photos of me were from college, and showing yourself even a couple years older is a plus
2. I got in better shape since my old photos were taken
3. New photos were of me doing cool shit as opposed to just drinking w friends.
4. Newer photos were higher quality.

Of course other factors matter, but something that's such a pure numbers game, upping your odds with photos will help you a lot.

Also, whenever you go over to text with a girl, ask her for a photo and send her one of yours. Having that little face icon there when you're texting someone makes the interaction all the more personal to both parties involved, which I find makes meeting up easier.

Also, skyping with a girl or having a 10 minute phone convo can really increase the chances she won't flake.

The problem is that you're this faceless nameless number texting her for sex, basically. No wonder chicks flake so much, they're like "who the hell even is this guy trying to bone me?" You have to personalize yourself to her, make her view you as a real person, make her remember you for some reason. Having voice-to-voice (phone call) or face-to-face (skype) contact makes you into a real person.

The impression that you make, that's up to you...

Post: #12

The only downside I see to online dating is I feel it is a game of mostly 5.0 to 6.5's and the rare 7 that will meet. I got tired of the plain 6's.

Also while flipping through threads I tend to see guys posting success but not posting how good looking the girls are. I just see "got this okcupid girl out and banged her". I am guessing these are not 7+'s.

You can easily kill it with 6's if you put in the time. 7+'s I am still very skeptical of the proof.

If anyone has a link to proof and stories on a thread I would be thankful.

After having decent success on online over the past few years I have pretty much abandoned it for traditional game due to the quality factor.

I am guessing Seeking Arrangement game would be higher quality. Not into spending that money yet.

Post: #13

(07-27-2013 03:04 PM)RandalGraves Wrote:  My nonscientific observation says that you have to look good on paper, and check off the most common female demands, both conscious and subconscious.

I feel that a > 6'0 white man, living in a city, with good facial aesthetics, above average physique, and subtle DHV/confidence in his profile will be top tier among men in OKC. Throw in professional quality face shots and tight profile text too.

the answer is this. in real life you might be able to out-charm these guys but online your chances are slim. i'd love for someone to disprove this because i certainly don't belong to that cohort.

Post: #14

The intuitive notion of online dating is that it's "easy" or for "desperate" people, however, the reality is that it's counter intuitive and online dating is much harder than offline.

A lot of information is up front and consequently women go into checklist mode. Once women go into checklist mode the standards move up and it becomes harder.

I know a couple guys that are pretty good, but online it's just a waste land they cannot get anything.

Post: #15

(08-12-2013 12:39 PM)TheKantian Wrote:  I know a couple guys that are pretty good, but online it's just a waste land they cannot get anything.

describe these guys. how are they good in real life, and why do you think they fail online?

Post: #16

Online seems to be becoming more of a waste of time as the years go by. Women don't take it seriously anymore. Most of them aren't even on there to meet guys. It's just an app on their phone they can open at any time for some male attention and validation. Or to laugh at with their girlfriends when they're bored. I've also noticed an increasing trend of women being outright rude, hostile and insulting for their own perverse amusement. It's a power trip for 4s, 5s and 6s to be able to reject so many men. It makes them feel like an 8.

In fact, it's such a joke to most women now that just being a man on a dating site is itself a major DLV. A man with other options wouldn't be wasting his time in such a cesspool, they assume.

At this point I could only recommend online game to guys who are 8+ in looks (be honest with yourself), who live in major metro areas with lots of women constantly cycling through online, who are willing and able to devote 1-2 hours a day to it and who know how to write very good profiles and messages. And even if you meet all these criteria, you'll still be lucky to consistently get dates with 7s. Most other guys are just wasting their time and feeding hamsters by the dozen and will struggle mightily just to pull 6s. And even for the best looking guys with great game, pulling an 8 or 9 online is more than anything else just a matter of dumb luck, because girls that hot are usually only on there for a few days before they delete their profiles due to the sheer volume of chodes spamming their inboxes.