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Tony.5678 · 07-09-2013 08:17 AM

I've read a lot of stuff on this forum and finally created an account after lurking for a while. I know what makes an alpha person, what is considered good game etc. But knowing all of this and actually doing it are 2 different things. Even though I'm reasonably confident, I am quite honest and feel like if I approached a girl in a street I am disturbing her and have nothing to do with her. I mean I can ask her a question like 'do you know where the bus stop is' or 'where is this place', but actually getting friendly with her just doesn't seem right to me. Just the whole gaming stuff in general and approaching doesn't go well with my personality and I can't make myself do it.

Millz · 07-09-2013 08:32 AM

When I first played call of duty I was terrible didn't know where the spawns where, which gun to use or how to use the controls. Everything was new to me and felt weird. I felt out of place on teams where my squad would go 50-3 and I was 3-17.
Eventually after playing abit more I got used to it the things that originally felt weird became natural, I was winning gun fights, drop shotting and overall having fun.
Game is similar to this when you first start out it will all seem weird and you will find it weird to use the concepts but eventually overtime it will become natural.
Not everyone is born with a natrual innate talent to pick up chicks but once you start to apply the stuff you have read and see success it will only breed more success.

TL Big Grin

R keep at it

Tony.5678 · 07-09-2013 08:37 AM

(07-09-2013 08:32 AM)Millz Wrote: When I first played call of duty I was terrible didn't know where the spawns where, which gun to use or how to use the controls. Everything was new to me and felt weird. I felt out of place on teams where my squad would go 50-3 and I was 3-17.
Eventually after playing abit more I got used to it the things that originally felt weird became natural, I was winning gun fights, drop shotting and overall having fun.
Game is similar to this when you first start out it will all seem weird and you will find it weird to use the concepts but eventually overtime it will become natural.
Not everyone is born with a natrual innate talent to pick up chicks but once you start to apply the stuff you have read and see success it will only breed more success.

TLR keep at it

Thanks but it is hard to start in the first place. I can read, read and read but actually putting it into use is the hard part.

Lucky Lothario · 07-09-2013 08:43 AM

Try slowly expanding your comfort zone. Chat a little more to the shop assistant when your buying milk. Or make an off-hand comment to the fella who can't decide which type of detergent to buy. Overtime you'll notice these little interactions are actually fun for both people involved. And you'll become more comfortable in your ability to be socially-intelligent with new people. From there, other than having the balls to go for it, it's not actually that big a step to approaching girls in the day. Don't get me wrong, I still get hit with approach anxiety but if you start your feet moving before the AA builds up, it's too late to go back. Try it a couple of times and you'll realise it's not as bad as you think. The girls I've approached who have boyfriends have still been hugely flattered that I'd come over and talk to them and it actively makes their day. You are positive influence on the lives of those you meet, who cares about the occasional idiot who might misconstrue that you're not being manipulative or "game-y"? That's their problem not yours.

Don't worry about all that alpha/beta shit, but incorporate the more basic stuff. Read through Roissy's 16 Commandments and just apply a couple. Game is better applied, when it's an extension of who are rather than a gimmick you use occasionally.

~~Chrysalis~~ · 07-09-2013 09:02 AM

Have you thought of gaming someone you already know?

Gaming isn't just getting someone into bed. Game your friends, relatives, neighbours.
Day game is probably the hardest part, one I'm struggling with myself. There are easier entry points.

Parlay44 · 07-09-2013 10:55 AM

Game is not something you do. It's a way of thinking and living. Who cares if you're disturbing her by talking to her? She blows you out and you never see her again. Life goes on. That's how it's been since the dawn of time.

I think you're overvaluing women. In my experience any woman that I've never given a fuck about has always ended up being all whipped up on me. For me it was just about sex. For her it's a puzzle as why a guy can fuck her so hard but show no emotional attachment. It's a challenge for her. A test of her womanhood to get you to fall in love and obey her. The ironic part is that once she has your love and attention she no longer values it and she looks down on you.

I call this the courtship phase and the relationship phase. Women love the courtship phase because they get the maximum amount of attention. In the relationship phase things level out and get boring. That why I love chasing after girls with boyfriends. They find the courtship phase exciting. You'd be surprised how often they are open to cheating. Even if they don't cheat they line you up for sex once they become single.

EasyMoney · 07-09-2013 11:08 AM

It sounds to me like your libido may just not be that high - would you say that's accurate?

Because when I see an ass that I want to tap, even if I'm driving I will pull over, park, and run if I have to to catch up to a girl to do an approach. I never let a girl who passes the boner test with flying colors slip away.

You have absolutely nothing lose but a minute or two of your time.

DirectDanger · 07-09-2013 11:42 AM

- Lift Weights
- Get in good physical shape
- chat up every person more during the day

Do those things over the next 6 months and it will get easier.

Tony.5678 · 07-09-2013 01:19 PM

(07-09-2013 10:55 AM)Parlay44 Wrote: Game is not something you do. It's a way of thinking and living. Who cares if you're disturbing her by talking to her? She blows you out and you never see her again. Life goes on. That's how it's been since the dawn of time.

I think you're overvaluing women. In my experience any woman that I've never given a fuck about has always ended up being all whipped up on me. For me it was just about sex. For her it's a puzzle as why a guy can fuck her so hard but show no emotional attachment. It's a challenge for her. A test of her womanhood to get you to fall in love and obey her. The ironic part is that once she has your love and attention she no longer values it and she looks down on you.

I call this the courtship phase and the relationship phase. Women love the courtship phase because they get the maximum amount of attention. In the relationship phase things level out and get boring. That why I love chasing after girls with boyfriends. They find the courtship phase exciting. You'd be surprised how often they are open to cheating. Even if they don't cheat they line you up for sex once they become single.

For me I naturally do care about people. I could try and act like I don't (I probably would still care a bit) but I can try and not seem like this on the outside.

(07-09-2013 11:08 AM)EasyMoney Wrote: It sounds to me like your libido may just not be that high - would you say that's accurate?

Because when I see an ass that I want to tap, even if I'm driving I will pull over, park, and run if I have to to catch up to a girl to do an approach. I never let a girl who passes the boner test with flying colors slip away.

You have absolutely nothing lose but a minute or two of your time.

Haha my libido is actually sky high constantly. But I wouldn't go as far as to doing that lmao

(07-09-2013 11:42 AM)DirectDanger Wrote: - Lift Weights
- Get in good physical shape
- chat up every person more during the day

Do those things over the next 6 months and it will get easier.

Lifting weights at the moment but it is kind of failing even though I have pretty good knowledge in bodybuilding (maybe it is my shitty genetics)

Giovonny · 07-09-2013 01:49 PM

Don't approach girls.

Find another way to meet them.

Social Circle? Online?

Get Drunk..?

Travesty · 07-09-2013 01:57 PM

(07-09-2013 08:17 AM)Tony.5678 Wrote: Just the whole gaming stuff in general and approaching doesn't go well with my personality and I can't make myself do it.

It is not your personality at all. You are on the forum because you want to practice getting better at getting bangs. That is who you really are. Either society has beat the chase out of you or you did not have role models growing up that showed you the right way.

There are many threads on how to lose your old "personality". A few things that are easy to start with:

- Work out everyday for 20 min.
- Do not masturbate.
- Do not watch porn.
- Do not eat junk food.
- Stop hanging out with friends that feel women are so precious until you have trained yourself to think their ideas are laughable. When you have converted to letting your masculinity take over then you can hang out with them and just shut your mouth and laugh on the inside when your friends talk about their "ideals" about women.
- Participate in a contact sport or martial art.
- When you see a girl you want to bang do not fight your instinct to check her out... check her out and lust after her all you want.
- Every girl wants to have great sex. You must recognize that when you look at them and talk to them.

Travesty · 07-09-2013 02:06 PM

(07-09-2013 01:19 PM)Tony.5678 Wrote: For me I naturally do care about people. I could try and act like I don't (I probably would still care a bit) but I can try and not seem like this on the outside.

(07-09-2013 11:08 AM)EasyMoney Wrote: It sounds to me like your libido may just not be that high - would you say that's accurate?

Because when I see an ass that I want to tap, even if I'm driving I will pull over, park, and run if I have to to catch up to a girl to do an approach. I never let a girl who passes the boner test with flying colors slip away.

You have absolutely nothing lose but a minute or two of your time.

Haha my libido is actually sky high constantly. But I wouldn't go as far as to doing that lmao

When you give a girl a great sexual experience you are caring for their sexual needs. This is 2013 and in if you are in America like I am, many girls have fuck buddies or want one or just want some good sex. You have to get over that having sex with a woman with no attachment is a negative. It is a positive and win-win if the sex is good. Some girls will go so far as to thank you after sex if they haven't had a good lay in awhile.

And secondly, stopping your car and getting out to approach a girl works. I have done it. It is not a joke. They are alone and isolated on the street strolling along it is a perfect time to put some excitement in their day.

You need to get a mind set that most girls get bored with their everyday life and want excitement and great sex to happen. That is your job. Worst that happens if you play your cards right is they turn you down because of a BF or whatever, but are turned on that some stranger wants to bang them, and you gain more experience. Win-win.

Christian McQueen · 07-09-2013 02:06 PM

Its not unusual for game newbs to still think they 'are bothering her' by approaching.

You ready? I just bitch slapped you through the screen.

STOP. It doesn't matter if you bother her or not; it's your world and she happens to be in it.

There is a major difference between desire to game and lack of motivation to game. Figure out which one it is and report back. I'll give you a plan based on which one it is.

Tony.5678 · 07-09-2013 04:14 PM

Ok I'm determined to do it. Just to approach and not give a f*ck if I piss her off. I am not a fan of cheesy openers but I don't want to literally just walk up to a girl and say 'hey, whats up'. Need something a bit more interesting/a reason to talk to her. And how do I make sure the conversation isn't dull and goes flat (since I will know nothing about her)

Parlay44 · 07-09-2013 04:23 PM

There's a lot of threads on openers and gaming women in supermarkets and fast food places. Do a little reading through them. Lots of good stuff.

iknowexactly · 07-09-2013 04:37 PM

Your comfort zone is not working. Purchase a new one.

WesternCancer · 07-09-2013 04:43 PM

Do you really want your identity to be the "shy/nervous guy who puts the needs of others before himself first?"

You don't have to be super outgoing, upbeat and chatty to have 'game' but you do need to have the right attitude. You have to think "I want to have sex with that girl over there, I'm going to go talk to her and invite her into my world. If she doesn't want to come, her loss off to the next one"

Dusty · 07-09-2013 07:29 PM

Do a thought experiment. Imagine if everyone in the world, men and women, decided they would never approach someone with the intent of establishing sexual relations. Everyone decided they didn't want to "bother" anyone, so they played it safe.

Soon, there would be a lot of grumpy sexually frustrated people in the world. But, more amazing, the human race would eventually end, because since no one wanted to "bother" anyone, sex would end, and no more babies would come along to replace those who died out.

My God man, the human race is depending on you to go out there and get some poon!

AneroidOcean · 07-09-2013 10:17 PM

(07-09-2013 01:19 PM)Tony.5678 Wrote: For me I naturally do care about people. I could try and act like I don't (I probably would still care a bit) but I can try and not seem like this on the outside.

Do you know that it's actually a form of selfishness to decide these things for other people? Do you really think there's nobody that might have their day improved by talking to you? Are you mean? Are you completely dull? Are you rude?

If not, you should be improving their lives or at the worst not hurting their life and IMPROVING yours.

When was the last time someone asked you a question and you were truly BOTHERED by it? If a fat girl walked up to you and you weren't interested but she okay to talk to and not a bitch, would you really think "OMG why did that girl bother me?"

You're making shit up in your head dude. Go out and have FUN! If someone doesn't want to talk to you THAT is the moment to consider that you may be bothering them, not before.

(07-09-2013 02:06 PM)Travesty444 Wrote: You need to get a mind set that most girls get bored with their everyday life and want excitement and great sex to happen. That is your job.

QUOTED FOR UNASSAILABLE TRUTH!

~~XY.~~ · 07-09-2013 10:58 PM

I think you just need to try it a few times. Eventually you will get a positive ioi.

-You will strike out everytime if you don't swing.

Tony.5678 · 07-10-2013 04:39 AM

Ok I am going to try it. Are these ok/not beta?

1) Just going up to her and saying 'can I have your opinion on .....' and then just going from there. Hopefully she will say 'yes' and I will just think of something girly for her to talk about and hope she talks for a while about it. Hopefully I can keep the conversation going (a bit worried it is going to dry up pretty quickly). Maybe after 3-5 mins, just stop her and tell her I have to go and say something like 'it was nice meeting you, lets catch up another time. Add my number to your phone'

How does that sound? I don't think I can keep the conversation going for 15 mins so I want her to get the impression I am interesting and then leaving it at that. Then when I have her number just text her a few times (no more than 5) and give off the impression I like her, then asking to meet up with her for longer (i.e at least 4 hours)? During this time I may go for a kiss and hopefully a bang at the end.

Is that realistic and from your experiences would it work?

For night game:
Just something like if I see a girl waiting at a bar or alone somewhere where it is quieter, going up to her and saying "Sorry I'm late, did I keep you waiting long". She may be a bit shocked and say something along the lines of 'what' or just be confused so I'm not sure about it.

Other one I could try (i saw it somewhere) is when walking to the club, if I see another girl walking somewhere else on a night out (perhaps a different club), as we walk past each other I kind of stop her with my arm and say 'hey you are going the wrong way to 'name of club'... come with me'.

scorpion · 07-10-2013 04:21 PM

You sound socially awkward and like you have very little self-confidence.

Personally, I think you should just hang it up and become celibate. You sound like a total loser.

If what I just said made you mad, GOOD. Because it sounds like you need a fire lit under your ass. Nobody cares whether or not you get laid other than YOU. It's up to YOU to make it happen. Do you want it, or not? Are you going to do something about it, or not?

Don't come here and pussyfoot around about how you're too afraid to disturb a girl by talking to her on the street. You're going to sack up and do it or you're not. Be a fucking man, have some pride in yourself and do what you know you need to do.

Good luck, it's up to you.

pro14 · 07-14-2013 06:48 PM

(07-10-2013 04:21 PM)scorpion Wrote: You sound socially awkward and like you have very little self-confidence.

Personally, I think you should just hang it up and become celibate. You sound like a total loser.

If what I just said made you mad, GOOD. Because it sounds like you need a fire lit under your ass. Nobody cares whether or not you get laid other than YOU. It's up to YOU to make it happen. Do you want it, or not? Are you going to do something about it, or not?

Don't come here and pussyfoot around about how you're too afraid to disturb a girl by talking to her on the street. You're going to sack up and do it or you're not. Be a fucking man, have some pride in yourself and do what you know you need to do.

Good luck, it's up to you.

When I think back over the years, the times I manned up and dove in almost all worked out. The funny thing is like OP I have those same 'don't want to bother you' thoughts. or, at the time, motivation is low. so my attempts are low. I think we need posts like this to get that smack in the head that is more helpful than anything!

its been a 6 month dry spell due to relationship conflicts. that's over now - building motivation....not giving a fuck about relationships at the moment either and that helps too.

~~horn~~ · 07-14-2013 08:46 PM

Agree with above, if you man up and approach, it almost always works out. I've virtually never gotten a truly 'bitchy' response, and the very few times I have [<2-3%] I usually respond with something like a casual, 'Mom, is that you?'

Usually the girl and/or ALL her friends bust out laughing. They want you to be quick on your feet and able to stand up for yourself. But it really doesn't happen that often at all.

XXL · 07-15-2013 07:41 AM

(07-09-2013 08:17 AM)Tony.5678 Wrote: I've read a lot of stuff on this forum and finally created an account after lurking for a while. I know what makes an alpha person, what is considered good game etc. But knowing all of this and actually doing it are 2 different things. Even though I'm reasonably confident, I am quite honest and feel like if I approached a girl in a street I am disturbing her and have nothing to do with her. I mean I can ask her a question like 'do you know where the bus stop is' or 'where is this place', but actually getting friendly with her just doesn't seem right to me. Just the whole gaming stuff in general and approaching doesn't go well with my personality and I can't make myself do it.

i know what you feel. to me there are 2 modes:

1. seduction - this is when you want as much girls as you can get and you try anything to get them. this is where all those games tactics strategies come into play.

2. honesty - it's when you know exactly what you want and you seek it out so talking to women is one massive screening frenzy. this is where you ditch the tricks and choose straightforward way to get what you look for. as long as you make you convey your intentions is tasteful way you're good to go.

you basically hate the seduction mode and i totally understand why. if you despise it for its fakeness (asking for directions lol) choose honesty. figure it out what you like and what type of girl you want and what your expectactions are then go out to find it. it's much more simple this way.

Tony.5678 Wrote:Ok I am going to try it. Are these ok/not beta?

1) Just going up to her and saying 'can I have your opinion on .....' and then just going from there. Hopefully she will say 'yes' and I will just think of something girly for her to talk about and hope she talks for a while about it. Hopefully I can keep the conversation going (a bit worried it is going to dry up pretty quickly). Maybe after 3-5 mins, just stop her and tell her I have to go and say something like 'it was nice meeting you, lets catch up another time. Add my number to your phone'

How does that sound? I don't think I can keep the conversation going for 15 mins so I want her to get the impression I am interesting and then leaving it at that. Then when I have her number just text her a few times (no more than 5) and give off the impression I like her, then asking to meet up with her for longer (i.e at least 4 hours)? During this time I may go for a kiss and hopefully a bang at the end.

Is that realistic and from your experiences would it work?

it's so fluffy and so casual from the start that you will have to used shitloads of game to convince the girl to like you. talking about stuff she finds cool gives her no chance to get to know who you are and what you want from her. no connection. more often that not your temporary entertainment will lead [maybe] to pity phone number that has nothing to do with you both. imagine you're a salesclerk and you advise some female customer what pair of jeans she should pick and at the end you ask for her number. it's out of the blue. no context. if you want to start with super low risk icebreakers then you have be able to take that casual chit chat from random questions to "me & you" type of vibe.

if gamey stuff makes you feel weird inside it will effect your presence. switch modes. don't fake your interest. convey it. go in and adjust yourself after. address the elephant in the room if she freezes or gets stiff. calm her down. tell her why you talk to her [especially if you try to stop her]. if she's unavailable or taken or whatever just wish her good day and excuse yourself. you save a lot of time and hope. to me until i convey my interest the interaction is fake. and btw, that's coming from a guy who's in the land of time wasters Amuse

Tony.5678 Wrote:For night game:
Just something like if I see a girl waiting at a bar or alone somewhere where it is quieter, going up to her and saying "Sorry I'm late, did I keep you waiting long". She may be a bit shocked and say something along the lines of 'what' or just be confused so I'm not sure about it.

ok and then what?

Tony.5678 Wrote:Other one I could try (i saw it somewhere) is when walking to the club, if I see another girl walking somewhere else on a night out (perhaps a different club), as we walk past each other I kind of stop her with my arm and say 'hey you are going the wrong way to 'name of club'... come with me'.

and they keep on walking past you. then what?

you see, we [men] tend to be focused on the wrong things from the very start. more often than not we're worried about distracting details and our whole mental capacity is used only to avoid embarrassment instead of making it happen. we give off the vibe that we expect failure and try our best to make it as small as possible. weak. we should be focused only on getting the girl we want and everything we do should be a result of making it happen.

so, having a random chit chat and asking for her phone number hoping it will not be fake just to be able to game her the over the phone gets you nowhere. you don't know if she's available. she doesn't know why you take her number. you don't know how to proceed over the phone. you're left with nothing.

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