Post: #1

The title says it all. There's a lot of talk about 'Don't be jealous' but I think the more important thing is 'Don't show that your jealous'. Jealousy is okay, and from what I've observed in my social circle over the last few weeks, it's almost always warranted. If a guy thinks his girl is willing to step out or likes a particular guy more than platonically, he's right. The trick is to simply save face and not show it. Jealousy is part of your gut instinct, and that has evolved over generations to become what it is now. So if you're jealous, you probably should be. It happens to most, if not all, of us, so it's nothing to be ashamed about, but the key is to not 'show' it. Simply act. If your jealous, you can't trust her, which means you need to start emotionally detaching yourself. It's better not to get to that point in the first place, but it does happen, so you just need to start the detachment process. Don't be ashamed of feeling that way. The quicker you recognize it, the quicker you can start doing something about it. In essence, don't run from jealousy, just know what to do with it.

Post: #2

I agree, the feeling of jealousy is intrinsic in being a man.

Consider a man devoid of jealousy. He will be naturally willing to engage in polyamorous relationships with any girl he has relations with his entire life. Is such a man more alpha than a guy who dumps chicks without further ado who fuck around?

Jealousy for men is an instinctual and wholly natural aversion to cuckoldry. It is the basis for male to male competition from elk to elephant seals in rut to guidos strutting on the Jersey shore. Even taken apart from their reproductive context, it's normal for guys to be jealous at times. What matters is how you respond.

Post: #3

Jealousy occurrences that happen rarely and fade quickly (within an hour or less) probably means the girl is actually doing a good job of gaming you in the right and healthy way in that you are attracted and care enough to protect what you share. And the jealousy she caused isn't malicious in intent. Same if she gets a little jealous over something you did like talking to an attractive girl at a social event for awhile instead of paying attention to her. That kind of jealousy means you're still into it with each other.

I'd say any jealousy that lasts for more than a few hours is bad enough in my mind that you need to recognize and take action to get rid of it immediately, which usually means cutting that chick off completely. Jealousy like that kills your most important resource: time.

Post: #4

I disagree.

Anything a girl could do to make me jealous constitutes disrespect. Disrespect is going to diminish my desire to see her. To continue desiring her would be to abase and humiliate myself. It would be the same coming from a male friend who has disrespected you. Trying to stage some intervention is pointless, because her disrespect has already dashed your desire for her. You don't even want her any more. She's dead to you. Instead of reacting emotionally, you just write her out of your life.

Will this get you the most pussy? Can't say. But do you really want to humiliate yourself by humoring disrespectful people?

This all assumes you're not tied to her by some outside force (eg marriage, kids). Never been in that situation, so I can't comment personally. I'm also totally averse to jumping through hoops for a girl, especially competing with another man. No girl is worth that.

Post: #5

Basilransom just reminded me of what someone on here posted (maybe Soup, el Mech, or Houston..) in regards to being with a girl at a bar or social event, and she starts talking or flirting with another guy(s). Walk over and say to the girl and her flirt; "Hey guys, she's pretty isn't she, well you can fuck her but you then you have to keep her..." and walk away. HA.

I basically just told that to a girl I've been seein, sort of an LTR spanning 17 months.. I found out she'd chatted with an ex-fuck for which I of course said was off limits behavior period, and I'm pretty certain she just did to make me jealous, but might have been fuckin when we were together potentially, not sure. She was flabbergasted I told her that, but I dumped her and blocked her # too. I think she realizes she finally crossed the line, a territory of disrespect no one deserves, except a true beta.

Post: #6

I disagree with OP...

Jealousy is simply the fear of the girl in question, given the option, would not select you as her first choice (or best option).

That is how jealous men in relationships feel. They feel that, if the woman was free to do WHATEVER SHE WANTED that she would choose SOMEONE ELSE over him.

So what are the solutions here?

The low-level game solution is to not show it - as the OP suggests. To an extent, I think you are right about the whole fake it till you make it thing. But this is not the end-game.

The high-level game thing to do is develop yourself to the point where it is always the woman getting jealous over you. Even when she tries to make your jealous on purpose you genuinely can do nothing but laugh because you know she's going to come crawling back to you.

Post: #7

Jealous feelings should not be ignored. It's how you interpret them that makes the difference.

Post: #8

First, I’ll admit it does sting when you think you’ve found a good one (and there are some out there), but she turns out to be just another head fake.

However, one of the single best things you can ever do for yourself is to rid, or neutralize, jealous feelings. It’s one of the biggest leaps forward I’ve ever made. Also, when a chick can’t make you jealous, it can drive them crazy (crazier?).

Here’s how I broke myself of jealousy: Date a stripper.
Know that she’s doing stuff…know that guys have their hands, etc. all over her…and just deal with it. Condition yourself. If you have the ability to let go of jealousy….this will break you of it. It did for me anyway.

Post: #9

Jealousy is a human emotion. I think we all feel it on a certain level from time to time. The real question is whether or not your feelings of jealousy are totally manufactured from within, or, as Basilransom touched on, is a woman consciously attempting to make you jealous by playing games, openly flirting with other men in your presence, dropping comments about other men in conversation, etc. In that instance, I agree that I won't get jealous - I'll get annoyed. If a man is present and taking care of business as a mate/partner, and she feels a need to do these kinds of things, that constitutes open disrespect. Incognito referenced other behavior that is disrespectful - contact with former fucks. If her only connection to the dude was sex, and she's contacting him again, that's a potential red flag. Whether she actually fucked him again is irrelevant. To say, "just don't be jealous" is akin to saying "just don't be attracted to women anymore." It isn't that simple - it's all about how you react to those feelings, as Therapsid stated.

Post: #10

There are different kinds of jealousy and they need to be evaluated appropriately. A good comparison to make is with the feeling of fear. It's good to be afraid at certain times. The total lack of fear is a sign that you're either very stupid or some sort of psychotic.

In regards to jealousy, you can make a distinction between acute jealousy and lingering jealousy. If you walk in your house and see your girlfriend on her knees blowing some dude, you ought to feel jealousy, followed by anger. That is acute jealousy and the absence of it is a sign that either you don't give a fuck about this girl or you have some kind of cuckold fetish.

If, however, you're continuously jealous, something is wrong. If you find yourself always going through your girl's shit or freaking out every time she says hi to another dude, then you have issues. Lingering jealousy means that either you are paranoid and insecure or your girl is giving you good reasons to be jealous. In any event something ain't right.

Post: #11

(06-13-2013 12:28 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  Jealousy is a human emotion. I think we all feel it on a certain level from time to time. The real question is whether or not your feelings of jealousy are totally manufactured from within, or, as Basilransom touched on, is a woman consciously attempting to make you jealous by playing games, openly flirting with other men in your presence, dropping comments about other men in conversation, etc. In that instance, I agree that I won't get jealous - I'll get annoyed. If a man is present and taking care of business as a mate/partner, and she feels a need to do these kinds of things, that constitutes open disrespect. Incognito referenced other behavior that is disrespectful - contact with former fucks. If her only connection to the dude was sex, and she's contacting him again, that's a potential red flag. Whether she actually fucked him again is irrelevant. To say, "just don't be jealous" is akin to saying "just don't be attracted to women anymore." It isn't that simple - it's all about how you react to those feelings, as Therapsid stated.

Like approach anxiety, jealousy might be another vestigial holdover from caveman times; sure it exists, but does it have any relevance these days? A guy can learn game and open up his options to the life of abundance and jealousy is just not part of the equation anymore.

Post: #12

the more options you have the less jealousy you will feel

Post: #13

If you have a high quality woman, guys are going to try to be all over her. However, if she's high quality, she'll make sure you're respected at all times and keep a distance. Just like beta guys are going to be more sensitive to jealousy issues and overreact, beta woman (low self esteem) are going to find ways to make you jealous. Then it's a clusterfuck of emotions and nonsense.

That being said, a little jealousy is sexy and I appreciate it when a high quality lady makes me feel a bit jealous on rare occasion. "you go girl! you're hot stuff, haha". but not really emotionally effected, just cheering on her being pursued by guys and enjoying her period of fertility.

Post: #14

How does one even feel jealousy if you're continuously gaming new women?

I haven't felt jealousy for years now. I'm starting to forget what it feels like.

Just last Sunday I was supposed to meet a girl, take her out, and then bang. I had already banged her. She then texted me halfway through the day asking if she could make me food instead. I thought, "Free food!" and said yes. Plus she was making a dish I really liked.

Anyhow, while I'm eating at her place she tells me she can't go out with me because she already has another date with a different guy. I'm like, "Why didn't you just cancel this? I planned my entire Sunday to see you."

And she's said, "Omg, you're not mad are you?"

I told her I was "a little angry." She got worried and apologetic but I sincerely did not give a fuck. This girl was, in my eyes, just a good time, just like every other girl, and it was hard for me to care even a little. I was more pissed that she wasted my time, but since I didn't have to spend any money I just did not care. By the end of the dinner, I told her, "Whatever, I'm not really that mad because you gave me food." And she was happy and smiled and kissed me.

I left her apartment and went home with a full stomach. On the way out the driveway, she continued to apologize.

I bumped into her again a dance later this week and took her home last night and banged her.

I'm 99% certain had I acted jealous I wouldn't have gotten to bang her again.

Anyways, moral of the story...

Indifference > Jealousy

Long term gaming = indifference to every girl

Post: #15

(06-13-2013 06:08 PM)Samseau Wrote:  And she's said, "Omg, you're not mad are you?"

I told her I was "a little angry." She got worried and apologetic but I sincerely did not give a fuck. This girl was, in my eyes, just a good time, just like every other girl, and it was hard for me to care even a little. I was more pissed that she wasted my time, but since I didn't have to spend any money I just did not care. By the end of the dinner, I told her, "Whatever, I'm not really that mad because you gave me food." And she was happy and smiled and kissed me.

...and that is what's most important, and needed to be addressed. She didn't have the proper regard for your time. In another thread we discussed the importance of checking flakiness. You still walked off with something (a full stomach), in addition to an apology. She felt compelled to make it up to you by submitting to a subsequent smashing. But usually guys get flaked on without the consolation prizes.

Post: #16

(06-13-2013 07:35 PM)Timoteo Wrote:  

(06-13-2013 06:08 PM)Samseau Wrote:  And she's said, "Omg, you're not mad are you?"

I told her I was "a little angry." She got worried and apologetic but I sincerely did not give a fuck. This girl was, in my eyes, just a good time, just like every other girl, and it was hard for me to care even a little. I was more pissed that she wasted my time, but since I didn't have to spend any money I just did not care. By the end of the dinner, I told her, "Whatever, I'm not really that mad because you gave me food." And she was happy and smiled and kissed me.

...and that is what's most important, and needed to be addressed. She didn't have the proper regard for your time. In another thread we discussed the importance of checking flakiness. You still walked off with something (a full stomach), in addition to an apology. She felt compelled to make it up to you by submitting to a subsequent smashing. But usually guys get flaked on without the consolation prizes.

Even if I hadn't gotten the bang, it still wouldn't have made sense to feel jealous.

Post: #17

Jealousy comes from a position of weakness. It's the feeling you have when you want something you can't have. It's irrational, as if the universe allowed you (or anyone for that matter) to get everything you wanted. But the world isn't like that. Jealousy exists because you let it affect you. Just like with your other destructive emotions. If you didn't truly didn't care, you wouldn't feel that pang of jealousy.

Back to nek's point that jealousy is warranted. Jealousy is a warning sign. It warns you that your girl is slipping away and that your frame has been slipping. The only solution is to reevaluate your priorities.

I'll let Jay-Z have the last word on this.





3rd verse:

Males shouldn't be jealous that's a female trait

and

What you eat don't make me shit

Post: #18

Jealousy is not an emotion of a player.

Jealousy means that you're somehow invested in a broad's loyalty and fidelity to you. Like even after you've spent a year taking in manosphere knowledge, you actually think a chick's tendency to be hypergamous doesn't apply to you, cause busted a nut in her before you hit the venue. "dude my seed causes a serotonin reaction binding her soul to mine"

If you've been in the game long enough, you've pulled chicks from would-be players who plied her with liquor the whole night, dweeb boyfriends, alpha boyfriends, fiances, lesbian lovers, children, and husbands. These chicks have no honor. They don't have our value system, it's why they routinely flaunt it and baffle the common man.

The game is about getting into her mind and hitting that part of her brain that says "let's fuck in the back of your beat up Mitsubishi Montero before my date finds me"

So if you're steady hi-jacking a chick's brain, it's only hubris that makes you think it won't happen to you, like you're the only dude in the world that can turn her on.

Even a pious Saudi broad will take it in the ass if you can get her alone.

Being jealous about a chick finding the next man interesting, is like being mad that the dog will eat scraps that have fallen off your table.

That's a dog's nature. That's a chick's nature.

And she will see nothing wrong with laughing at the next man's dirty joke. She won't see anything wrong with going to her Ex's wedding. She won't say no to the group of guys who buy her and her friends some drinks @ girls night out.

"We were just dancing"
"I've known that guy forever"
"I figured I'd ask him to look @ the transmission cause he's an engineer"
"it's not like I'm sleeping with him"

You will watch her respond to dudes the way she responds to you, and it will burn you, burn you deep to the core. Cause you know what that dude is thinking. Her punching him in the arm cause of what he said...that's how you bagged her....that's how you knew she was open to get the dick....And now you're watching the shit play out with some other guy.

And she does these things, not to be malicious, not to manipulate you, but she does it unconsciously. This is who she is. Even if you were to point it out she wouldn't see a problem with it. If she does stop the behavior, it will be to assuage your insecurity, and she'll only do that when you're around. You put your foot down, and you lose "hand".

This is a game you cannot win, unless you keep your broad under lock and key, with the patter of little feet.

...But don't let the shoe be on the other foot...all hell will break loose, cause in her mind, you being charismatic and gregarious is your attempt to pull more bitches...(and it very may well be!)

Every once in a while, you're gonna have to put your claim on a chick in public - for the benefit of her friends- get them to swoon a bit giving her some benefit in her circle - but in very real terms she does not belong to you.

You can't ever "have" her.

She can have you though. She can replace you. She can replace you with something worse, know that she fucked up...but she can't ever fix her mistake....

And that's part of the inequity of the game.

That's why you take the red pill. It's acknowledging how unfair everything is, and accepting the reality of it, and bending that reality to your own ends.

WIA

(06-12-2013 10:54 PM)nek Wrote:  The title says it all. There's a lot of talk about 'Don't be jealous' but I think the more important thing is 'Don't show that your jealous'. Jealousy is okay, and from what I've observed in my social circle over the last few weeks, it's almost always warranted. If a guy thinks his girl is willing to step out or likes a particular guy more than platonically, he's right. The trick is to simply save face and not show it. Jealousy is part of your gut instinct, and that has evolved over generations to become what it is now. So if you're jealous, you probably should be. It happens to most, if not all, of us, so it's nothing to be ashamed about, but the key is to not 'show' it. Simply act. If your jealous, you can't trust her, which means you need to start emotionally detaching yourself. It's better not to get to that point in the first place, but it does happen, so you just need to start the detachment process. Don't be ashamed of feeling that way. The quicker you recognize it, the quicker you can start doing something about it. In essence, don't run from jealousy, just know what to do with it.

Post: #19

(06-17-2013 12:03 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  Jealousy is not an emotion of a player.

Jealousy means that you're somehow invested in a broad's loyalty and fidelity to you. Like even after you've spent a year taking in manosphere knowledge, you actually think a chick's tendency to be hypergamous doesn't apply to you, cause busted a nut in her before you hit the venue. "dude my seed causes a serotonin reaction binding her soul to mine"

If you've been in the game long enough, you've pulled chicks from would-be players who plied her with liquor the whole night, dweeb boyfriends, alpha boyfriends, fiances, lesbian lovers, children, and husbands. These chicks have no honor. They don't have our value system, it's why they routinely flaunt it and baffle the common man.

The game is about getting into her mind and hitting that part of her brain that says "let's fuck in the back of your beat up Mitsubishi Montero before my date finds me"

So if you're steady hi-jacking a chick's brain, it's only hubris that makes you think it won't happen to you, like you're the only dude in the world that can turn her on.

Even a pious Saudi broad will take it in the ass if you can get her alone.

Being jealous about a chick finding the next man interesting, is like being mad that the dog will eat scraps that have fallen off your table.

That's a dog's nature. That's a chick's nature.

And she will see nothing wrong with laughing at the next man's dirty joke. She won't see anything wrong with going to her Ex's wedding. She won't say no to the group of guys who buy her and her friends some drinks @ girls night out.

"We were just dancing"
"I've known that guy forever"
"I figured I'd ask him to look @ the transmission cause he's an engineer"
"it's not like I'm sleeping with him"

You will watch her respond to dudes the way she responds to you, and it will burn you, burn you deep to the core. Cause you know what that dude is thinking. Her punching him in the arm cause of what he said...that's how you bagged her....that's how you knew she was open to get the dick....And now you're watching the shit play out with some other guy.

And she does these things, not to be malicious, not to manipulate you, but she does it unconsciously. This is who she is. Even if you were to point it out she wouldn't see a problem with it. If she does stop the behavior, it will be to assuage your insecurity, and she'll only do that when you're around. You put your foot down, and you lose "hand".

This is a game you cannot win, unless you keep your broad under lock and key, with the patter of little feet.

...But don't let the shoe be on the other foot...all hell will break loose, cause in her mind, you being charismatic and gregarious is your attempt to pull more bitches...(and it very may well be!)

Every once in a while, you're gonna have to put your claim on a chick in public - for the benefit of her friends- get them to swoon a bit giving her some benefit in her circle - but in very real terms she does not belong to you.

You can't ever "have" her.

She can have you though. She can replace you. She can replace you with something worse, know that she fucked up...but she can't ever fix her mistake....

And that's part of the inequity of the game.

That's why you take the red pill. It's acknowledging how unfair everything is, and accepting the reality of it, and bending that reality to your own ends.

WIA

(06-12-2013 10:54 PM)nek Wrote:  The title says it all. There's a lot of talk about 'Don't be jealous' but I think the more important thing is 'Don't show that your jealous'. Jealousy is okay, and from what I've observed in my social circle over the last few weeks, it's almost always warranted. If a guy thinks his girl is willing to step out or likes a particular guy more than platonically, he's right. The trick is to simply save face and not show it. Jealousy is part of your gut instinct, and that has evolved over generations to become what it is now. So if you're jealous, you probably should be. It happens to most, if not all, of us, so it's nothing to be ashamed about, but the key is to not 'show' it. Simply act. If your jealous, you can't trust her, which means you need to start emotionally detaching yourself. It's better not to get to that point in the first place, but it does happen, so you just need to start the detachment process. Don't be ashamed of feeling that way. The quicker you recognize it, the quicker you can start doing something about it. In essence, don't run from jealousy, just know what to do with it.

Post: #20

Occasionally I read I post somewhere in the manosphere that expands my mind and understanding. WestIndianarche's post on jealously really blew me away. Jealousy is something that tears me up and I've always thought it was an issue of possession, like I usually run a small maintainable harem rather than constantly hitting on new girls like most guys here, and while they are in my harem I get pretty furious at perceived disrespect. Usually this lasts only until they leave the harem.

Your post of accepting the reality that a girl is a girl, they can all be got if the right guy games her at the right time sits well with my stoic philosophy. Great post, thanks man.

Post: #21

Bravo!

Post: #22

(06-17-2013 12:03 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  Jealousy is not an emotion of a player.

Jealousy means that you're somehow invested in a broad's loyalty and fidelity to you. Like even after you've spent a year taking in manosphere knowledge, you actually think a chick's tendency to be hypergamous doesn't apply to you, cause busted a nut in her before you hit the venue. "dude my seed causes a serotonin reaction binding her soul to mine"

If you've been in the game long enough, you've pulled chicks from would-be players who plied her with liquor the whole night, dweeb boyfriends, alpha boyfriends, fiances, lesbian lovers, children, and husbands. These chicks have no honor. They don't have our value system, it's why they routinely flaunt it and baffle the common man.

The game is about getting into her mind and hitting that part of her brain that says "let's fuck in the back of your beat up Mitsubishi Montero before my date finds me"

So if you're steady hi-jacking a chick's brain, it's only hubris that makes you think it won't happen to you, like you're the only dude in the world that can turn her on.

Even a pious Saudi broad will take it in the ass if you can get her alone.

Being jealous about a chick finding the next man interesting, is like being mad that the dog will eat scraps that have fallen off your table.

That's a dog's nature. That's a chick's nature.

And she will see nothing wrong with laughing at the next man's dirty joke. She won't see anything wrong with going to her Ex's wedding. She won't say no to the group of guys who buy her and her friends some drinks @ girls night out.

"We were just dancing"
"I've known that guy forever"
"I figured I'd ask him to look @ the transmission cause he's an engineer"
"it's not like I'm sleeping with him"

You will watch her respond to dudes the way she responds to you, and it will burn you, burn you deep to the core. Cause you know what that dude is thinking. Her punching him in the arm cause of what he said...that's how you bagged her....that's how you knew she was open to get the dick....And now you're watching the shit play out with some other guy.

And she does these things, not to be malicious, not to manipulate you, but she does it unconsciously. This is who she is. Even if you were to point it out she wouldn't see a problem with it. If she does stop the behavior, it will be to assuage your insecurity, and she'll only do that when you're around. You put your foot down, and you lose "hand".

This is a game you cannot win, unless you keep your broad under lock and key, with the patter of little feet.

...But don't let the shoe be on the other foot...all hell will break loose, cause in her mind, you being charismatic and gregarious is your attempt to pull more bitches...(and it very may well be!)

Every once in a while, you're gonna have to put your claim on a chick in public - for the benefit of her friends- get them to swoon a bit giving her some benefit in her circle - but in very real terms she does not belong to you.

You can't ever "have" her.

She can have you though. She can replace you. She can replace you with something worse, know that she fucked up...but she can't ever fix her mistake....

And that's part of the inequity of the game.

That's why you take the red pill. It's acknowledging how unfair everything is, and accepting the reality of it, and bending that reality to your own ends.

WIA

Post: #23

Wia is a monster

Post: #24

WIA killed this thread

Jealousy is an emotion for weak people. This is why haters don't have any game.

They would rather angrily believe they deserve more when in reality no one deserves shit. If you stay in the game long enough you get jealous of nothing.

This applies to men and women.

If someone tries to "take my girl" or a girl I am talking to I simply tell him "go for it she likes it rough" (walk to bathroom).

Who cares. That's truly not giving a shit you are basically emotionless from the stance of someone "getting under your emotional skin".

I laugh when guys worry about their girls cheating on them etc. I don't give a fuck I hope she bangs 20 guys behind my back. That attitude alone makes it much less likely she ever will because it means I still view her as replaceable.

Long-term the more of a hardened player you become you are emotionally unbreakable, funny enough this also makes you a significantly happier person.

Post: #25

(06-12-2013 10:54 PM)nek Wrote:  The title says it all. There's a lot of talk about 'Don't be jealous' but I think the more important thing is 'Don't show that your jealous'. Jealousy is okay, and from what I've observed in my social circle over the last few weeks, it's almost always warranted. If a guy thinks his girl is willing to step out or likes a particular guy more than platonically, he's right. The trick is to simply save face and not show it. Jealousy is part of your gut instinct, and that has evolved over generations to become what it is now. So if you're jealous, you probably should be. It happens to most, if not all, of us, so it's nothing to be ashamed about, but the key is to not 'show' it. Simply act. If your jealous, you can't trust her, which means you need to start emotionally detaching yourself. It's better not to get to that point in the first place, but it does happen, so you just need to start the detachment process. Don't be ashamed of feeling that way. The quicker you recognize it, the quicker you can start doing something about it. In essence, don't run from jealousy, just know what to do with it.

Or perhaps the people who feel jealousy, have a weak mind, which girls see right through, thereby leaving them more exposed to cheating.

A self fulfilling prophecy.