Post: #26

Quote:Or perhaps the people who feel jealousy, have a weak mind, which girls see right through, thereby leaving them more exposed to cheating.

A self fulfilling prophecy.

Yeah, I'm sure everyone's met a couple where one person is constantly stressing over the other cheating, or making accusations.

Until the breaking point where they get sick of defending themselves from these accusations and say "Fuck it" and actually cheat, even if they started out more morally self-righteous and had no intentions in the beginning.

Post: #27

It doesn't matter what she says. When you start getting jealous, just go game another girl in her presence. Problem solved.

Post: #28

For WIA's gold. Bump.

Post: #29

I agree with the OP, and most who don't agree are just completely unaware that women use jealousy as a common tool in relationships to gaslight you.

TRIANGULATION

To draw you closer, narcissists & psychopaths create an aura of desirability—of being wanted and courted by many. It will become a point of vanity for you to be the preferred object of their attention, to win them away from a crowd of admirers. They manufacture the illusion of popularity by surrounding themselves with members of the opposite sex: friends, former lovers, and your eventual replacement. Then, they create triangles that stimulate rivalry and raise their perceived value. (Adapted from “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene).

Definition 1
Definition 2
Definition 3

A large percentage of women use jealousy to make you more desirous of them, or, to punish and hurt you when they want to. These women know this is a very effective way of hurting you emotionally, or inciting a fight, or to illicit an emotional response from you to prove to her you are emotionally invested in her. And by emotionally reacting in this scenario, its a form of gaslighting, you trick yourself into caring more than you actually should.

We all know the results of acting butt-hurt by jealousy - it just makes her go away. Every. Single. Time. No your not alpha by defending your turf. This is the fastest way to make her leave you.

Sneaky ways I've noticed over the years that she does this;

-Receiving a text from a guy and showing you, this can be any guy(work/friend/former bf). "Oh my god he texted me"
-Talking about men in general, in any way.
-Talking about her exes, as innocuous of a conversation as possible.
-Talking about sex, her sex life, past partners, etc.
-Staying friends with exes.
-Communicating with exes over social media without you knowing.
-Blatant social media interactions
-Her friends talking about her exes in front of you.

Some of these things may seem completely innocuous, but they are not.

Some women do this innocently enough, as a minor shit test. How do you know its innocent? You will just know, as your gut is the most honest truth detector you posses.

Most of the time women do this to truly hurt you, and it will feel like sadistic punishment, because its meant to be. The sadistic female uses triangulation, like you read about in the links, and knows your emotional levers better than you do. And thats where young naive men lose it; they would never expect their lover could be so cruel. Or anyone could interpersonally be so cruel to them. These jealousy tactics lead to arguing, rage, verbal/physical abuse, and is one of the most well played traps men find their way into, when dealing with the opposite sex. Its one of the more vulnerable positions you will ever find yourself in as a man.

Not all women will do this. My ex wife did not. My two most recent LTR's did however, and I would guess this is more rampant today with social media. These LTR's were highly attractive, educated, careerist 30 yr old millennial women in the US. But once I noticed their behavior, I notice it in all women now, and how much more vigilant you have to be to protect your emotions and frame in the relationship.

How I combat jealousy, and jealous making attempts by women.

Simply just say nice things about the other man when she brings him up; the ex boyfriend, the guy at work, the guy friend, the man hitting on her, or any man she tosses into your relationship.

"Oh, he sounds like he was pretty frustrated with your relationship. Maybe he needed help(she drove him nuts), maybe you two just weren't right and he's doing much better, maybe needed more time to mature"

"Your friend sounds like an awesome guy, you two should hang out, you go girl"

"Your boss just sounds lonely, maybe you should have a coffee with him. Just be there for him, he sounds like hes depending on you."

"The guy at the bar sounds hilarious, thats a great pick up line!" "He just obviously likes you, he sounds like a funny guy, can you blame him" "He sounds like a good guy."

This simple tactic alone instantly freezes out her game, and will quickly make it stop. Its an agree and amplify, with a twist of cruel humor for yourself, where you will be laughing at the joke you are playing on her. Ultimately, it will always make you look like the good guy, with an air of I DONT GIVE A F%$#, the perfect combo to neutralize this behavior.

I threw one of those LTR's out of my apartment in the middle of the night once when she used a jealous tactic. She was living with me, and I just made her leave instantly. She said this guy was texting her, and showed me a few texts on her phone. She was too dumb to realize iMessage showed her full text history on her iPad, and I saw later that night that she was texting back and forth with him for a while. It sent me straight into anger. It greatly upset my life. It hurt terribly bad and I kicked her out that night. The next day she was supposed to come to my child's birthday party. She pulled this because I was pulling away from her, she tried this stunt to get me back, but it totally backfired on her. I subsequently found RVF right around that time, dumped her, and began game. My journey into game came as a result of induced jealousy from my then GF.

Whats funny is that same girl texted me a month before her wedding day, and I suspect she was using the same tactic on her poor soon to be husband. My gut reaction to her initially was true. Further proving to myself that I can not go on denying my internal compass.

I dont want you guys to go through this. Notice her silly games, then shoot her down by being the super positive better than that guy. She will stop. And if you catch her, and your gut was really right, dont make it dramatic. Just make it end ASAP with no fighting. Dont let jealousy ruin your life, or frame of mind. Or your LTR for that matter.

Post: #30

Very interesting thread, I take from it a few different ways to handle jealousy.

WIA and others - "Jealousy is not an emotion of a player"

Being emotionally detached from the women you game will save you from ever being jealous, but that will cost you an emotional attachment with women.
Which means a life without a soul, and only using women as glands to relieve sexual tension is not how I want to live my life.

A poster above having dinner with a woman who openly told him he was going to go fuck another dude, showed no emotion and got to fuck her later that week (let's hope he didn't taste the other dudes jizz)

I don't think this is how I want to avoid jealousy.

If you want to have authentic relationships with women, then jealousy is an issue that is going to come up.


I think the best way through this minefield is a combination of selecting a woman that doesn't use it (too much) and by the approach of Vaun - to play it off and pass it like any other shit test. Strong boundaries need to be set - if you are always feeling jealous then there is probably a good reason why.

Post: #31

I think there are two theories about jealousy being discussed here.

One is that it is an evolved reaction to stop the man being cuckolded.

Another is that it comes from a scarcity, victim mindset.

I think they're both correct. I don't think it's all one or the other. I realised some of my jealous feelings were simply because I was simply jealous of a woman with more sexual experience, but I still think it's mainly out of fear of being cuckolded.

I think you can thoroughly desensitise yourself to the point where you don't care. Going out with a stripper or porn star might do that. However for a long time there will always be that feeling of jealousy, it may never completely go away. It might just be a fleeting bad emotion. It doesn't disprove that it's an evolved response to the fear of being cuckolded.

I think people here need to realise that having lots of girls to sleep with isn't a perfect life style. Pretty much all of those girls are sleeping with other men, or have at least slept with many other men before and after you, especially if you do the typical thing preached here of being aloof, distant, non-committal for as long as possible. It works, don't get me wrong, however those girls aren't your girlfriend and even if they were they're still likely to cheat.

To be honest, you may as well call the player lifestyle the cuck lifestyle.

You have to either get over that and continue or not bother with it and try and lock down a girl with a lock and key and make babies with her (not as hard as WIA implies, a lot of girls are into that.)

Post: #32

Interesting to see this bumped after 3+ years. It's always fascinating to see the contrast between where I was and where I am. However, three years later, this has still proven in my experience to be true, although I think clarity could be added.

The real point I was trying to get across (I think) that I can articulate better now is that, when we do feel jealous, the reason is probably valid regardless of what people might tell you/say to you. In this day and age, there seems to be certain behaviors from women that we're simply supposed to dismiss or accept, and any feelings of jealousy and/or disrespect (very related concepts) we have about them are dismissed as irrational or paranoid, even though they're not. It's this cognitive dissonance that is the cause of many a mans' mental anguish.

Post: #33

Being a player requires you to leave your emotions at the door.

How many of you are going to be players when you're 40? 50? 60? What are you going to do when you decide to stop being a player? Be celibate? Buy hookers?

Most of us will eventually want to settle down. As much as I enjoy the bravado of "I don't give a fuck, player for life, married to the game", for 99% of men (including those in the forum) this is bullshit. Sure, some of us will be 60 and still hitting on 18 year olds, but the majority of us won't be that guy. It's simply unrealistic.

So let's not pretend the world is black and white. It isn't "You're either a chode or a player, choose one."

Jealously is a normal human reaction. If you don't value anything, if you have no emotional attachment to any girl, that's fine, for a while. You're just masturbating into a wet hole, which, don't get me wrong---I enjoy as much as the next guy, but let's be frank: it's no way to live your entire existence.

No man should be so emotionally attached to a woman that the thought of another man fucking her would cause him to contemplate suicide, but likewise, it's equally undesirable to feel absolutely no attachment to any woman at all.

There's a healthy middle ground between both of these states.

Being a player is our reaction to women in the west being whores. It is not the epitome of human existence. Worshiping "the game" is no better than putting pussy on the pedestal. Both are unnatural and unhealthy extremes.

Post: #34

delete double post

Post: #35

(06-19-2013 10:45 PM)LeBeau Wrote:  Yeah, I'm sure everyone's met a couple where one person is constantly stressing over the other cheating, or making accusations.

Until the breaking point where they get sick of defending themselves from these accusations and say "Fuck it" and actually cheat, even if they started out more morally self-righteous and had no intentions in the beginning.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychologi...projection

Quote:Whats funny is that same girl texted me a month before her wedding day, and I suspect she was using the same tactic on her poor soon to be husband. My gut reaction to her initially was true. Further proving to myself that I can not go on denying my internal compass.

Yep. Many women do this. They use the new guy to induce jealousy in the old guy as a pretext for glomming on to the new guy, and then use jealousy-induction by staying in touch with the old guy to manipulate the new guy.

Most of us have played both roles at one time or another. We are all the dreamer, and the dream.

Post: #36

John Galt has the right idea, and WIA swooped in with some golden knowledge as well.

If you aren't jealous then you don't care enough. If you are jealous then you care too much. At the end of the day I think the way one handles it is dependent on your intentions and desires with the women in your life.

If you are a player who just wants to sleep with lots of different women then jealousy is a silly thing to fret over. On the other hand if you are looking to settle down with a woman then you would do best to screen for a partner that has the least likelihood of compromising your relationship in such a way, and give her children to keep her occupied and fulfill her role.

The gotcha here is that this day and age makes the former lifestyle easier. It is far more difficult to have a traditional stable relationship and family in our culture than it is to just smash broads day in and day out with no strings. Believe me I've tried and so have many of us on this forum.

Post: #37

This thread has plenty of good perspective, however not a lot of actionable advice. So it's been established that you shouldn't feel jealous, sure. But that doesn't change the fact that it's inevitable (assuming you like the chick).

I'm asking because I've come to the same conclusions many here have stated, but am no closer to coming up with a solution of how to deal with it when shit like this happens in real life. I am a fan of the nuclear option and just demote them as soon as I see any signs of disrespect, as BR stated early in this thread.

Post: #38

(12-05-2016 02:49 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  The gotcha here is that this day and age makes the former lifestyle easier. It is far more difficult to have a traditional stable relationship and family in our culture than it is to just smash broads day in and day out with no strings. Believe me I've tried and so have many of us on this forum.

Sad to say it has sometimes felt to me over the past year that the former lifestyle is the only reasonable option, at least when dealing with young college-educated white women. Just about all of them are willing to fuck for free outside the confines of a "traditional" monogamous relationship. They'll push you for commitment, sure, but it feels like even if you do promise her exclusivity, the odds of her running out and banging a new guy relatively soon afterwards aren't particularly better than if you'd just played a player. Maybe even worse.

The girl I was seeing earlier this year who was out hooking up with some old flame within weeks of pushing (prematurely to my mind) for a level of exclusivity I wasn't ready to give in to yet shows that if I'd been foolish enough to take her up on it, the end result likely wouldn't have been much different.

"Gonna cuck you one way or the other" seems to be the MO. At least by acting the player you can keep her attraction up for a little while longer before the hypergamy kicks in.

Funny thing is that I trusted some of the girls in their teens and early 20s I dated 15 years ago, when that instinct should have been at its worst, more than I do some of these late 20s and 30-something broads who have nearly two decades on them. Thanks, social media!

(12-05-2016 03:47 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:  This thread has plenty of good perspective, however not a lot of actionable advice. So it's been established that you shouldn't feel jealous, sure. But that doesn't change the fact that it's inevitable (assuming you like the chick).

I'm asking because I've come to the same conclusions many here have stated, but am no closer to coming up with a solution of how to deal with it when shit like this happens in real life. I am a fan of the nuclear option and just demote them as soon as I see any signs of disrespect, as BR stated early in this thread.

It seems to be the consensus is that it's one of those "damned if you do, damned if you don't" sort of things that occur all too frequently in life. The best "actionable advice" I can say is probably the quote from "Wargames": "The only winning move is not to play." You can't control what she does, it's hard to control what your feelings are, you can only control how you respond. Often when you're confused as what to do, the best option is to do nothing. Or demote, pull back in proportion to how much she pulls back, as you say. She talks about other guys, you talk about other girls. Or tell her how great you think they are. She doesn't contact you for a day, wants to play manipulation head games, you don't contact her for three. And so forth. Whatever is relaxed, yet unexpected. If she really wants out and you don't play into her frame, she'll show herself the door on her own.

There's no way to make oneself completely immune to the unpleasant things in life, and still live it.

Post: #39

(12-05-2016 03:47 PM)Rhyme or Reason Wrote:  This thread has plenty of good perspective, however not a lot of actionable advice. So it's been established that you shouldn't feel jealous, sure. But that doesn't change the fact that it's inevitable (assuming you like the chick).

Here is your action plan:

1) Is it because you have a personality disorder that makes you insanely jealous, possessive and irrational? - Seek help.

2) If she excessively uses jealousy to manipulate you - Next her.

3) If you always feel jealous with her but do not normally have a problem with irrational jealousy then your gut is probably right and she is cheating on you. - Next her

4) If you never feel jealous - You have no feelings - Seek help

5) If she occasionally uses a bit of easily seen through jealousy in a cute way, to get attention and to be reassured you love her - You are winning keep her.

Post: #40

The only advice I can give is always go with your gut. If a girl is acting a way with other men that puts a lump in your throat then take it as a sign things aren't going the way you had hoped.

I don't get close enough to women these days to let their ever-imminent infidelity cause undue stress and emotional harm to me. That is what I do.

Post: #41

(12-05-2016 04:34 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  The only advice I can give is always go with your gut. If a girl is acting a way with other men that puts a lump in your throat then take it as a sign things aren't going the way you had hoped.

I don't get close enough to women these days to let their ever-imminent infidelity cause undue stress and emotional harm to me. That is what I do.

I think the ideas of "getting close" with a girl and "not maintaining your own life/autonomy" often get conflated. It's healthy to have some semblance of closeness with a woman, same with friendships. However, they shouldn't be all consuming of your life to the point where, if they did leave/you broke up with them, you wouldn't sitting around like a lost puppy not knowing what to do with yourself.