I just saw First Man, thankfully without forking any money over to do it. Man, what a disappointing film.
What might one expect to get from a movie about what is arguably man's greatest achievement to date, the moon landings? Awe and inspiration spring to mind, but the people who made this movie decided to go in an altogether different direction. What we get instead is sadness, depression, and existential angst. If I had to describe this film in only one word it would undoubtedly be
dispiriting.
This isn't so much a movie about the moon landings as it is a movie about Ryan Gosling moping over his dead daughter with occasional rude interruptions by some space related shit. This is the facial expression the protagonist carries almost invariably throughout the whole miserable 2 and a half hours:
In fact the entire cast seems to be wholly unexcited by the endeavor at hand. Everyone is glum and downcast, and the impression we get is that the Apollo program was some dreary, gloomy slog. The coolness factor is nil. In fact, the closest we ever get to any kind of "rousing" soundtrack is when an angry black activist complains about insufficient gibs via a stirring rendition of "Whitey on the Moon" slam-poetry to what sounds like urban youths beating makeshift drums made from empty plastic buckets. You'd be forgiven for thinking the point of this movie is not as an homage to man's greatest achievement, but as a subtle propaganda piece to tear down "whitey's" moondoogle by making it seem as unsexy and unappealing as possible, Culture-of-Critique style.
But I mean it's the current year, so what do we expect, right? That the producers would serve a heaping ladle of cultural rot was an absolute given, which is the reason I avoided seeing this, like every other movie, in theaters. I'm not one to willingly pay for the rope that will be used to hang me. I did download the movie, however, in hopes of some cool visuals since I've always been a space buff. Here too the film was a massive let-down.
It was all shaky-cam and blurry closeups. Inexplicably, rather than show third-person views of the action, the overwhelming majority of footage was displayed first-person through tiny portholes or as if from cameras mounted to the hulls of the craft. It was incredibly frustrating watching Gosling's blurry face and equally blurry views of the windows and instrument panels waiting for the zoomed out views of what was happening that never came. It was like watching one of those micro-budget Blair-Witch type crap, not a major motion picture that was
suggested to be watched in IMAX! Even the few precious minutes on the lunar surface were utterly ruined by alternating every few seconds of lunar footage with flashbacks of dead-girl-happily-running-on-grass, completely taking you out of the moment.
Of the film's 150 minutes, around 5 were spent on the moon and the only thing that happened there were dead girl flashbacks culminating with Gosling bursting into tears over dead-girl and throwing her necklace into a crater, followed immediately by the lunar ascent module hastily going back to lunar orbit. Underwhelming is an understatement.
The contrast between this film and Apollo 13 could not be any starker, despite the fact the latter was a failure and Apollo 11 a resounding success. Not only is 13 an exciting and inspiring film, but it's much more visually satisfying as well, which is incredible given that it was filmed in 1995 and didn't even have the backdrop of the Moon as a prop. If you haven't watched Apollo 13 I suggest you watch it shortly after seeing First Man to understand just how purposefully demoralizing First Man was made to be.
PS: In case you were wondering, yes, the main female character playing Gosling's wife is indeed a prime 2018 vintage of insufferable rancid white bitch. How else could it be!