Post: #1

So, I get nervous a lot, and I get physical symptoms of it (shaking, legs turn to jello, etc). But the thing is, there are times when I'm really really confident, but my body still acts nervous. Like once I was at a party, and these two hot girls came up and asked to make out with me (I was fucking shocked lol), and I got a giant boost of confidence, and I felt so good. But while I was with them, my legs were like trembling. But I felt great! So why the fuck was I still shaking so bad???

And this may be a separate question, but I also feel like I appear to be nervous and fake all the time. Like, I was kinda of a fag back in high school (didn't get any girls, total beta, zero confidence), but I've gotten much better since then (in my sophomore year of college), but lots of kids at college went to my high school, and I'm friends with some of them, and every time I see/talk to them, I feel they're always looking at me and thinking "oh, that loser from high school", when I'm actually real different. I feel confident sometimes, but I feel like I'm still emanating nervousness around them cuz they're thinking about how I was a fag back then, and they know I know it. And so I feel so fake, cuz it seems like I'm covering up my past to them by being confident.

Sorry if I'm rambling, it's just really been bothering me. Anyone got any tips for getting over nervousness like mine?

Post: #2

This same thing happens to me. If I get a girl back to my house, and I sense that she's on the fence about hooking up, I start shaking.

Post: #3

(12-15-2012 12:06 AM)soup Wrote:  This same thing happens to me. If I get a girl back to my house, and I sense that she's on the fence about hooking up, I start shaking.

I know, I would think I'd feel like a boss for getting her to my house...but then the shakes happen.

idk =P

Post: #4

I get this sometimes too, especially when approaching. it's just anxiety, the same thing that happens before public speaking or any type of performance.

a few things that I think can help:

1) you are anxious because you care too much. think about how you conduct yourself when talking to an unattractive girl - not nervous at all

2) visualize success. we tend to create situations that mirror our expectations. if you have visualized (or better yet, experienced recently) bringing girls home and hooking up, then when it really happens it feels less foreign and much more comfortable

3) simplify and slow down your thinking. meditation can help with this. if she comes back to your place, she probably wants to have sex or at least make out. if you go for it and she denies, she might just be playing games, so there isn't much you can do

4) alcohol. it tends to make me care less, increase my confidence, and simplify my thinking

Post: #5

also there are breathing exercises you can do to slow down your heart rate and calm you down.

the one I do most frequently is: breathe out to a count of 4, getting all the air our of your chest and stomach. then breathe in to a count of 4. then hold for 4 seconds. repeat.

Post: #6

If your nervousness is causing physical symptoms like you stated, I would recommend seeing a physician. There are plenty of medications which will alleviate these problems- beta blockers are usually successful.

Post: #7

(12-14-2012 11:54 PM)Dubby Wrote:  So, I get nervous a lot, and I get physical symptoms of it (shaking, legs turn to jello, etc). But the thing is, there are times when I'm really really confident, but my body still acts nervous. Like once I was at a party, and these two hot girls came up and asked to make out with me (I was fucking shocked lol), and I got a giant boost of confidence, and I felt so good. But while I was with them, my legs were like trembling. But I felt great! So why the fuck was I still shaking so bad???

And this may be a separate question, but I also feel like I appear to be nervous and fake all the time. Like, I was kinda of a fag back in high school (didn't get any girls, total beta, zero confidence), but I've gotten much better since then (in my sophomore year of college), but lots of kids at college went to my high school, and I'm friends with some of them, and every time I see/talk to them, I feel they're always looking at me and thinking "oh, that loser from high school", when I'm actually real different. I feel confident sometimes, but I feel like I'm still emanating nervousness around them cuz they're thinking about how I was a fag back then, and they know I know it. And so I feel so fake, cuz it seems like I'm covering up my past to them by being confident.

Sorry if I'm rambling, it's just really been bothering me. Anyone got any tips for getting over nervousness like mine?

philly is right on, try some betablockers. They control anxiety by blocking the release of adrenaline and some other shit that effects your central nervous system. Muscians, performers, public speakers use them to control stage fright and anxiety.

Post: #8

hmm, will take all of your advice into consideration, thanks guys. Like I said, it's not really anxiety that's my problem, it's the physical symptoms of it. I'm confident as fuck sometimes but I'll still be like fucking Michael J. Fox.

But I'll look into the betablockers, and the breathing exercise stuff.

Post: #9

Lmao not laughing at you but it reminds me of my first 3sum. It was a 19 and 18yo girls and when we first got naked my heart was pounding so loud you could literally hear it.

One of the girls said "Are you nervous?" I didn't have a reply and just continued kissing her. Breathing helps but honestly I think it's a experience thing. Until you've swooped 100 girls plow plow plow away anything a 6 and higher. Eventually you'll grow numb to a naked chick, well almost and be good lol.

Post: #10

I get this when approaching.
Breathe through it
Then do the thing that makes you anxious ALOT more

Post: #11

(12-18-2012 01:18 AM)McQueensPlayboyRules Wrote:  my heart was pounding so loud you could literally hear it.

I get like that whenever I kiss a new girl for the first time. Most of them like it.

Post: #12

Beta Blockers!

Post: #13

happens to me sometimes when daygaming, breathe in through your nose and out the mouth, and concentrate your mind on the task at hand, your body will respond.

Post: #14

(12-20-2012 08:06 AM)bojangles Wrote:  happens to me sometimes when daygaming, breathe in through your nose and out the mouth, and concentrate your mind on the task at hand, your body will respond.

I agree. When you are in the moment, and have good control of your breathing and mind, it will be easier to approach, be sexual, etc.