Post: #1

Have a morning ritual
Meditate and visualize
Eliminate self doubt
Observe your own success
Define what you want to be

These points are important in building self confidence, any other ideas on building inner confidence?

Post: #2

Nothing builds confidence with women like getting hot girls! My whole level of confidence with women is based on a foundation of some really top notch girls I had as girlfriends when I was a teenager. Now whenever I look at a girl very few will be able to intimidate me because very few will be in the same league as those girls. I don't have to question whether I can get a girl like that or if I deserve one because I already have - more than once.

Now I understand we have a chicken and egg problem here but I feel this is an easier approach than what you are suggesting.

Post: #3

For me personally, when it came to women you just need to gain experience. I used to shit my pants before approaching a women, now I will walk up to a group of 5 without hesitation.

Keep practicing and after a while it gets really, really, easy.

Post: #4

One thing that don't get talked about much on here: the confidence to approach women and the confidence to close or have a relationship with them are two difference levels of confidence. One only requires you to be confidence for a short while the other requires you to be confident ALL the time. It has to be who you are. I know many guys that don't have a problem approaching girls but are still not very good at closing or building relationships with them.

Post: #5

You can't think your way to being a man.
You can't meditate yourself to greatness.

Confidence comes from achievement.

What does confidence mean? It is a rock solid belief in your ability to subject your environment to your will. Knowing what you want in life, from yourself and from others, and knowing how to get that. Your confident when you know how to get shit done.

How will you get this belief?

By learning to get things done. Simple. And fucking hard, because this takes a lot of commitment, a lot of blood, sweat, soil and tears. Nothing worth achieving is going to be easy, because if it were easy everyone would have it, and that would render it worthless.

Play a sport. Grow muscles. Score more points. Sweat your ass off, and then see your improving results.

Get more girls. Approach, get rejected, succeed, learn from it and again see the improvement over time.

You will become confident when you start seeing the link between your hard work and the fruits of that labor. And for what thinking is worth: only care about the judgement of people who have deserved that special position. Why care about strangers? Take action and take responsibility, and be the one to evaluate your own worth.

Post: #6

That will do it but it's the long hard road that most people won't go down.

Post: #7

competence gets you (inner) confidence. if you're not there yet then it's key to blindly believe that the right action will bring desired results and go through the initial pain period. good luck

Post: #8

All of this amounts to self affirmation.

Develop the understanding that your own sense of self comes from within and not from the approval of others.

Once you understand this core concept you will have an unshakeable frame of reference.

To assist yourself in this you may want some kind of mantra or self-affirming statement to keep you focused. I look in the mirror every morning, at age 50, and remind myself that I like what I see and I say to myself "I've got this, all goddam day".

Post: #9

I cannot emphasise enough how important going to the gym is. Once you start seeing results after a few months, you will feel boss because you can physically see the improvements you've made. You will walk around better, you will take up more space when you're standing somewhere and you will naturally feel more confident. It's a lot harder to see mental improvement unless you've got people saying to you "you've changed".

Post: #10

(11-16-2012 06:23 AM)Nomad77 Wrote:  That will do it but it's the long hard road that most people won't go down.

Totally agree, most people want the shortcut, something for nothing.

Those people will stay miserable until they die. Unless they're a hot chick.

Post: #11

You can have confidence in some areas in life, but that doesn't mean you will have confidence with women.

In game, there is quantity and quality.

Be confident by killing the scarcity mentality. Live the life of abundance. Get things going on with as many girls as possible.

Quality comes from getting used to girls that you feel anxious around. Be in a situation where you are constantly dealing with more attractive women. Be a DJ, photographer, etc.

Post: #12

Confidence comes from having success. If you are repeatedly successful, you start to trust yourself and you know that you are good. There are no shortcuts to confidence. You have to try and fail, then practice, then fail better, then practice more, then fail with style and grace, then practice more, then little by little you find ways to be successful, and little by little your confidence grows.

(11-16-2012 06:23 AM)Nomad77 Wrote:  That will do it but it's the long hard road that most people won't go down.

Yes, it is a long hard road. Just like college, just like career, nothing valuable in life comes easy.

Gaining confidence means literally changing the way your brain is wired. Changing the way you perceive yourself and the world. You are literally changing who you are!

Geting good at game is hard work. If you want to be a new man who get p*ssy, thats what it takes! Effort and dedication!

Real change is not easy!

(11-16-2012 12:22 PM)MattC Wrote:  I cannot emphasise enough how important going to the gym is.

Going to the gym is good for your body and self image but it doesn't do much to help your conversational confidence and social skills.

Gym confidence doesn't always translate into confidence with women.

I know bodybuilders with no social skills or conversational skills.

I know some skinny guys who never go to the gym but they are killers with chicks. They never workout. BUT, THEY SOCIALIZE WITH HOT CHICKS ALL NIGHT LONG!

Their are many different types of confidence. They are not all interchangeable. Some of us are confident on the dancef loor but not in the boardroom. Some of us are confident at work but not confident in a social setting.

MAKE SURE YOU ARE WORKING ON THE SPECIFIC SKILLS AND AREAS OF CONFIDENCE THAT YOU SPECIFICALLY NEED!

It makes no sense to become a big buffed guy who can't talk to chicks. And, on the other hand, if you are already competent and confident when talking to chicks, you might get higher quality girls by working on your looks.

Working on your looks and working on your confidence can be two different things.

Post: #13

A way to build and maintain inner confidence is by remembering and reminding yourself of genuine compliments and flattering statements people have given you and made about you through the years.

As a man, you are charged with initiating things in life. We don't have the luxury of just being able to sit back and be reactive and passive like women. Since we have to jump out there and take chances a lot more often, we deal with a lot more disappointments and sobering reminders that we're not perfect since you can't win every time.

So to stay motivated and confident through life, I always remind myself of some of the positive things that have been said about me and that have happened to and for me in my life.

By doing this it keeps me full of enough life to keep trying and serves as a reminder that good things can and will happen because they've happened before and will happen again.

Post: #14

I have huge issues with confidence.

I think one major problem is that I don't think a woman would want me because of who I am.

I think of every reason in the world why a woman would not want me when I see an attractive woman in the mall or grocery store and don't say hello.

It is a deeply held belief I am working to uproot with meditations and affirmations, monitoring thoughts, and repeating to myself I am attractive to women just as I am.

It is a difficult battle though. It takes persistent effort, hour upon hour, day upon day.

The key is to be in the moments where your lack of confidence is most present (like when you spot an attractive woman), observe the thoughts in your head that stop her from approaching her, write them down, and confront them.

Then, change the mental tape. Also, back it up with consistent action.

Just know it all starts with the mind.