Post: #1

I feel like I get stage fright right before Im about to have sex. I can push the interaction all the way to that point and then when I realize were gonna do it I get nervous for some reason. Im not ashamed of my size or physical appearance. For some reason I am worried about what she thinks. Its been so bad sometimes that I cant even get it up. Now Im always worried that I wont be able to get it up and its killing my confidence. How do I stop giving a fuck what the hamster thinks and just worry about myself? Found this site back in June and its really helped my outlook on life/women. Just need some advice on how to get the true player mindset so I can stop being nervous about dumb shit.

Post: #2

Have you ever had a girlfriend or LTR? Having sex with a girl you are very comfortable with gets rid of this nervousness.

I understand the self-perpetuating nature of the problem. First, if you aren't self conscious about your body, spend time looking at yourself in the mirror and appreciate how any sensible girl would be attracted to you. Second, remind yourself that women aren't really paying attention to detail in the lead-in to sex.

Post: #3

one thing you could do, if you haven't already, is start working out. that will definitely improve your confidence in a lot of situations...especially ones that involve penetration.

Post: #4

I have had a few gfs. Once I get comfortable with a girl this is not a problem. It's only an issue if its a ONS or if I haven't known her long. I don't know why I'm intimidated. And I've been working out with a buddy for about 5 months. Gonna continue that for sure

Post: #5

Liquor or wine.

Post: #6

(11-01-2012 11:48 PM)Art Pimp Wrote:  Liquor or wine.

No... that will do the opposite. Make it harder.

I used to have this problem too, but the more notches I got the more relaxed I became. After about 30 notches. My nervousness was basically gone. And now there is basically nothing that can make me nervous in bed. Cause if I'm not into it, I just say no. Since I'm the man we do it my way.

Post: #7

(11-02-2012 12:33 AM)20Nation Wrote:  

(11-01-2012 11:48 PM)Art Pimp Wrote:  Liquor or wine.

No... that will do the opposite. Make it harder.

I used to have this problem too, but the more notches I got the more relaxed I became. After about 30 notches. My nervousness was basically gone. And now there is basically nothing that can make me nervous in bed. Cause if I'm not into it, I just say no. Since I'm the man we do it my way.

This is basically my plan. I gotta force myself to keep getting notches and eventually I'm sure I'll get over it. Was just seeing if there were other things I could do but sounds like its all in my head

Post: #8

Nervousness happens to all of us when we first start getting actual sex instead of fantasizing about it. Just common human nature. When you start getting more notch counts and sexual experience, the less you'll be nervous. Trust me, when you start learning how to hit all the right spots on a girl during a bang, the last thing going to pop up in both your minds are body appearance and performance. The only thing that will matter is if her pussy is wrecked. If your body is an issue to you start working out and get some more muscles.

Post: #9

I think because of porn a lot of people are getting performance anxiety because they think sex is a competition. What I mean is, in your post you even mention that you are not ashamed of your "size" that statement in itself is a sense of competition. I think what would help is to seperate fiction and real life, and try to think of sex as something that is enjoyed and not how big your dong is or how long you can go or if the girl will think you are good enough. Once you stop with the "competition" complex, I garuntee you all of your anxiety will be gone.

Post: #10

Learn how to eat pussy. Some won't do it, many will, few do it well.

Let's look at this from a guy's perspective regarding chicks. Assume these girls are the same in looks.

Girl A: Shy, inexperienced, tight pussy

Girl B: Open, flirtatious, not as tight, but can take repeated jabs to the tonsils as well as a shot to the back of the throat and swallow the whole load.

Obviously girl A would be the LTR material, but girl B is the one you tell your boys about in the locker room at the gym. Women are the same way. If you can give her that first orgasm before you even lay the pipe, the quality of your dicking won't matter much.

Post: #11

Lifting works really well for something like this. It also gives you a sense of accomplishment, which really helps boost confidence in other areas of your life too.

You ever try to walk up a flight of stairs the day after squatting heavy? That's not pain, that's accomplishment.

Pick up Starting Strength or Stronglifts 5x5 and you'll be well on your way to get rid of that stage fright of your body.

Post: #12

This happened to me with the first few girls I fucked. I couldn't even get hard my first time so don't feel bad. I think you should fuck chubby girls and ones that don't look good. Your self esteem will jump up when you're making them scream and moan with your dick even if they look like a

Ugly girls and cows are always extra horny with your dick so just do whatever turns you on with them. I used to always stick my finger in their asses and slam their mouth on my dick. I think I even told some to lick my ass just to laugh at them later on

Post: #13

There's a book by David Schnarch called "Ressurecting Sex" about sexual dis-functions.

Post: #14

(11-13-2012 05:49 AM)houston Wrote:  This happened to me with the first few girls I fucked. I couldn't even get hard my first time so don't feel bad. I think you should fuck chubby girls and ones that don't look good. Your self esteem will jump up when you're making them scream and moan with your dick even if they look like a

Ugly girls and cows are always extra horny with your dick so just do whatever turns you on with them. I used to always stick my finger in their asses and slam their mouth on my dick. I think I even told some to lick my ass just to laugh at them later on

That's why they are called practice bitches.

Post: #15

E-bombs my friend

Post: #16

(11-01-2012 06:30 PM)Jam Man Wrote:  I feel like I get stage fright right before Im about to have sex. I can push the interaction all the way to that point and then when I realize were gonna do it I get nervous for some reason. Im not ashamed of my size or physical appearance. For some reason I am worried about what she thinks. Its been so bad sometimes that I cant even get it up. Now Im always worried that I wont be able to get it up and its killing my confidence. How do I stop giving a fuck what the hamster thinks and just worry about myself? Found this site back in June and its really helped my outlook on life/women. Just need some advice on how to get the true player mindset so I can stop being nervous about dumb shit.

just keep having sex. I am not a small dude but i was nervous my first feew times whipping out my cock. Now it is nothing. Sadly I have never had sex with a gf. All of my bangs where just random hoes . desensitize yourself

Post: #17

(11-13-2012 04:34 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  E-bombs my friend

Gonna have to disagree with you on that one my friend. MDA/MDMA intensifies the feelings you are having. If he has a nervousness problem, this is just going to exacerbate it. Also, the speed aspect will cause you to lose your hard on intermittently.

Post: #18

Thanks for the input everyone. Definitely just need to work on my confidence. It's weird because the girls I've banged that were average looking didn't make me nervous. It's the better looking girls that make me self conscious. I never once thought about giving up on gaming girls. I actually do it as much as possible since I found this forum 6 months ago. Reading blogs in the manosphere has been the biggest wake up call in my life. I'm 21 and willing to learn and do everything that will help my game.

Post: #19

This happens to me sometimes and it's usually for two reasons:

1. I am not really sexually attracted to the girl that much.
2. I am nervous about other shit - like thinking about work or something.

It helps to be comfortable as possible both with the girl and the place. If you are somewhere that you are worried about someone coming in or something then you will get nervous. If you are not that comfortable with the girl then it will also be harder. You can take it slow and just go in stages and just let it happen naturally. Girls prefer it this way actually. Usually I find the more I try to push things the more nervous I get and more likely I am to have erection problems.

Post: #20

(11-13-2012 10:50 PM)teh_skeeze Wrote:  

(11-13-2012 04:34 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  E-bombs my friend

Gonna have to disagree with you on that one my friend. MDA/MDMA intensifies the feelings you are having. If he has a nervousness problem, this is just going to exacerbate it. Also, the speed aspect will cause you to lose your hard on intermittently.

I've never had any problem. I used go to the casino with a group of friends while rolling and felt great. No anxiety or nervousness. As far as fucking goes only problem I've experienced is taking too long to come. Hey everybody's different.

Post: #21

Possible solution: extend the foreplay a little bit. Play with her nipples, slowly take off clothes one article at a time, etc. The adrenaline and anxiety of going for the bang will wear off after a few minutes if you slowly ease into it.