Post: #1

Before I go into the story, note that my skill level is pretty low. I average hundreds of cold approaches per bang which is a lot less than most of you guys on this forum. Please be easy on me.

I'm hanging out at the bar solo last night and this french girl started talking to me. She asks if I'm here for the open bar. I said, "no" I don't have the open bar. She showed me her open bar stamp. After a brief exchange she walks away.

A couple of minutes later she comes back to me and we start talking again. As we are talking I put my hand on firmly her shoulder as I say something to her - pretty clear that I'm hitting on her. She gets a little uncomfortable so I back off a bit. She says that she is going to check out the downstairs and walks away. I thought at this point it the interaction was over.

About 10 minutes later she comes back to me and tells me that she doesn't like her drink because it's too sweet so she gives it to me. We talk a couple of more minutes and she goes away.

A few minutes later, she comes back and talks to me again. I verbally escalate. I don't remember exactly what I said but it was clear to her that I was making an advance on her. She said, "Sorry I'm not interested." She sticks around chatting with me for a few more minutes and goes away again.

A few minutes later she comes back and starts talking to me again. She asks if I want another drink but considering that my present drink is only have way finished I say no. But she goes to get me one anyway and brings one back to me. After a couple of minutes she takes off again.

She comes back again and hangs out with me. By now, I really have nothing more to say to her anymore. Basically I made a couple of attempts to hit on her and she shot me down both times. No boring conversation left either. So she basically is just standing next to me observing the crowd. I'm wondering if she is just using me as a home base or something. Eventually a few friends of hers come by and start talking to her. She completely ignores me and never introduces me to her friends. As far as her friends know she had never spoken to me before. Now that she had found some friends she no longer had a use for me. They kind of drifted apart so I moved to another area of the lounge.

About 10 minutes later, she finds me and starts talking but the volume of the music is much louder now so I can't hear a dam thing she is saying. For the next few minutes she is standing next to me playing with her phone. I told her that I'm leaving. I told her that I was going to another nearby bar and asked her if she would like to come with me. She said, "No." I ask her if she wants my number and she protests a bit but hands me her phone anyway. So I enter my name and number in her phone. We say good buy to each other and do that kiss both cheeks thing. Then I leave.

This was a very oddball situation. Almost always, the uninterested women leave and never come back. She was clearly uninterested in me sexually but kept on coming back. (Really weird.)

Think she was just using me as a home base? Should I have continued to hit on her and not give up so fast? What would you guys have done differently in this situation?

Post: #2

Sounds like you had serious potential. I'd have to know more specifics or see the interaction to give an honest critique.

Anytime a girl opens you, there is major potential to bang. It's kind of like pussy falling from the heavens, actually. However, if you botch that first interaction, you are correct that she's now moved you into a different mental category. You are now just a source of attention to her and someone she can bide her time with while she finds another cock or group of people to hang out with. Women are infinitely more insecure than men about hanging out alone. You need to understand that your first interaction set this dynamic into motion.

She opened you, asked you if you were there for the open bar.
You gave her a response that was completely literal and devoid of any playfulness, banter, teasing, or any other element that would push the interaction forward and build interest.

You might have been able to recover from that, but we'll never know, but at least you can identify where you went wrong. Don't be hard on yourself or feel bad, my worst fuckups are when I'm thrown into an interaction with a chick and i'm not expecting it. When strangers solicit us, our first reaction tends to be dry and overly straightforward. What I would recommend is getting in the habit that, when a stranger opens you, whether it's a girl or just someone asking for directions, change your initial impulse. Instead of going for that dry, informative, straightforward response, STOP, breathe, let your brain think for 3 seconds which might seem like an eternity, and present your response in the form of a fun conversation. It'd be easy to come with a response now, typing on the internet after the fact. You could have said, "I'm here for the great Rum selection. My favorite drink is the blah blah blah, I'd let you try it but I'm not supposed to talk to strangers (said with a shit eating smirk)" But thinking about it now and thinking about it in the heat of the situation are two different things. You need to give your brain those 3 seconds to process, "Okay, girl is talking to me. Don't be informative or straightforward. Say something vague and nebulous. Go."

Post: #3

Once I got the feeling like she wasn't into me and it wasn't going to go anywhere sexually, I would have thought about ways I could use her to get to other chicks.

If there was a group of hot chicks with one guy, I might have introduced him to her and hit on the other chicks in the group. I would have started blatantly hitting on women right in front of her. I might've tried to create some kind of challenge about some random hot chick, by saying something like "I bet that girl over there is from [insert country]" or "I bet that girl got that shirt from [insert store]" thats obviously wrong, and then walked up to the other girl to find out who was right and continued with the approach.

Basically just get creative with it and treat that girl as a wing(wo)man.